Where had this joy been in Madison's life? Why hadn't she ever gotten the chance to experience bags and bags of clothes in her  hands, giggling with her friend as they went back up to her apartment? Why did her life before starting the hormones feel so boring in comparison?

Abigail and Madison walked into her apartment and got to work. Madison put on a little fashion show, trying on pretty much every combination of top and bottom she could think of, with Abigail rending her judgement on which outfits worked and which were fashion crimes as she recorded the whole affair for the documentary. Madison delighted in how her skirts spun out when she twirled, how soft the fabric of the blouses were, how she was making such a spectacle out of herself and enjoying it. Being seen like this, in pretty clothes with her amazing makeup...it felt so much better than being seen on any Muckraker show she'd ever been on, even if now she only had an audience of one. Madison wasn't sure how she'd ever be able to look at an old photo of herself.

Once Madison had settled on a few outfits she felt comfortable to wear outside the apartment, Abigail insisted she change into a nightie and prepare for the true slumber party experience.

"Ok, so," Abigail said once Madison got changed, "What streaming services do you have?"

"Oh, all of them." Madison said. "That's a Muckraker paycheck for ya."

"OK, time for your education." Abigail said. She combed through the various streaming services until she found a little something called 10 Things I Hate About You.

As the movie began, Abigail reached into her makeup bag. "First thing's first; we GOT to do your nails."  She pulled out a few colors; a navy blue, a crimson red, a burnt orange, a plain white, and a deep emerald green. "What do you want?"

"Uuuuuh..." Madison felt a bit paralyzed by the choice. She was still getting used to this whole woman thing; what kind of nail polish would Madison Owens want to wear?

"Red." Madison said. Saying nothing, Abigail pulled out a bottle of clear nail polish and began applying it to Madison's nails. "We'll start with a base coat so you don't stain your nails." She explained. Once she was done, Madison reached for the remote to turn up the volume on the movie, but the remote was snatched by Abigail first.

"Uh-uh." she said. "You can't do anything while your nails are drying or else you'll ruin the polish."

Madison, deferring to the expert, leaned back into the couch and watched the movie.

She was never the biggest fan of rom-coms before; she'd always seen them as universally 'chick flicks', something to be watched only to satiate a pesky girlfriend. If she'd ever talked about watching these types of movies with, say, Nathan Emerson, he'd have been laughed out of the room. But now she was a girl, and whatever masculine conditioning she'd built up over her life seemed to be crumbling away bit by bit, and god did it feel good to not feel the shame of doing girly stuff like this anymore.

She let herself enjoy the vibes. She sat there with her drying nails as the movie played out, and she found herself more moved by some of the scenes that she was expecting. She found her heart swelling at the romantic moments, laughing harder at the comedy,  and best of all, she was experiencing this all with another girl, someone who could guide her into this new world she found herself in and help her find her place in it. 

"Ok, base coat is dry, let's get started on the color." Abigail said. She set up the camera to capture her coating each of Madison's fingernails in the red polish, and Madison was entranced by just how...womanly they made her feel. The red shade projected an air of confidence and elegance unlike anything else she'd ever worn on her body. Plus, now that her nails were done, it was like she'd have a little reminder of how feminine she was becoming every time she reached out for something.

Waiting for the polish to dry also gave her time to just back in how wonderful this whole evening felt. She found herself appreciating Abigail's company not in a romantic way, but in a "not-a-boy" way. So much of her time hanging out with boys had felt like some sort of competition; one time she'd gone over to a friends house, years ago, to play video games with a bunch of boys and she remembered how they'd spent so much time insulting and trash talking each other.  She'd felt so uncomfortable then, thinking about how they could call each other friends when they never even asked each other "Hey how was your day?".

"Ugh, I love that movie so much." Abigail said as the credits began to roll.

"Yeah, it was really good." Madison said. She meant it. 

"Ok, next up is the first movie to be smart and pink, so eat your heart out Barbie." Abigail said as she loaded up Legally Blonde.

Madison was allowed to snack now that her nail polish was done, and once again she found herself swept up in the movie. She wasn't quite Elle Woods when it came to fashion, but she appreciated seeing how the movie showed a woman who was girly and feminine while also being professional and driven. It felt like she was watching some future version of herself, of the woman she could be if she applied herself.

The movie ended, and Abigail grabbed Madison's camera and held it up to her face. "So, Ms.Owens, what did you think of your first chick flicks?"

Madison giggled at being called Ms.Owens; it felt surprisingly good. "Uh, well, they were actually really funny, and I can't help but think like, why are guys so brutal towards these movies? I mean, I've heard them talk about how watching these movies felt like torture to them, how predictable and sentimental there were, and like....it's like they're just ignoring the fact that these movies have some actual substance to them. I just don't get it."

"Wow, you're a quick study. " Abigail said."You've already learned that guys can really suck."

"Maybe it's because they don't have a perspective like mine." Madison said. "Honestly, with the amount of fun I've been having the last few weeks, I'm beginning to think things would be better for everyone if some guys got on hormones."

Abigail couldn't stop herself from laughing at that one.

"Oh, oh my god Madison," Abigail said. "You're such a girl."

Madison smiled. She was getting a good grade in girl, something that is both normal for a former guy to want and that is possible to achieve.

"Ok, ok, camera's off." Abigail said. She wiped that last of her tears from her eyes. "Now we gotta play a game."

"What were you thinking?"

"Truth or dare, obviously. It's basically the only game we played at the sleepovers I went to."

"Man," Madison said, "I'm starting to wish that I'd been able to do stuff like this when I was a kid. This is fun."

Abigail looked at her with an expression that she couldn't quite place. The best way Madison could think to describe it was as if Abigail was looking at her like she was a particularly difficult math problem. But then Abigail smiled and sat up on the couch.

"Well hey, better late than never, right?" Abigail said. "You wanna go first?"

"Oh, uh, sure." Madison said. She looked around, trying to think of a dare, and then she remembered she had a balcony.

"Go out on the balcony and yell out a swear word as loud as you can." Madison said.

"Which one?" Abigail said.

"Player's choice." Madison said.

Abigail shrugged. "You're the girlboss." She said. She walked out on the balcony, took a deep breath, and yelled at the top of her lungs.

"OH MY GOD, ABIGAIL!" Madison shrieked.

"What, you said player's choice." Abigail said as she walked back inside.

"I wouldn't have if I'd known you were gonna yell that!" Madison said. She grabbed a handful of popcorn from a nearby bowl and threw it into Abigail's face as they both giggled.  "I'm gonna get evicted!"

"Oh please, I'm sue you can just bribe your landlord." Abigail said.

"Probably." Madison admitted. That made the girls giggle again.

"Ok, my turn." Abigail said. "Truth: worst part about becoming a girl?"

"Ugh, seeing my bank account evaporate." Madison said. "I know I got a ton in there, but like, there are so many cute clothes out there, you know? I practically had to drag myself out of Target before I bought up the whole store."

"So like, you don't have a problem with anything else?"

"Uh-uh, you're only supposed to get one question, dummy."

"Hey, I'm just making sure you're answering honestly."

Madison decided to give it a moment's thought, but to her surprise she really couldn't think of any other downsides. She was liking all the physical changes, it turned out she liked being girly, and this whole girl's slumber party was becoming one of the most fun nights of her life. So she shook her head no.

"What happened to Mr.Masculinity and his Youtube show?"

Madison flinched at her past self being called a mister. It didn't feel right, even though that was what she'd gone by before. "Dead and buried." Madison said.

Then she paused.

Had she really said something so...dramatic? I mean, this was at most a six month gig, and then....

Then what? Go back? Go back to being... a man?

Suddenly she was going back and combing through her own thoughts, like a detective going through evidence. She began to realize just how much her self-perception had changed; her memories before the hormones already felt like they belonged to a different person, a fake person, a construct that served only to house her mind. Her life now seemed so much more vivid and real, her body a more suitable home, her friendship with Abigail already more real than anything she'd ever known before. And the only thing that had changed was her becoming a girl.

And that was another thing; she didn't see herself as a guy pretending to be a girl, not anymore, not when she was already growing boobs and becoming versed in the ways of womanhood. She saw herself as just...as just...

Wow, she knew she could be dense sometimes, but she hadn't realized she was being a black hole level of dense.

"Oh my god." Madison said.

"What, what is it?" Abigail said. "You ok?"

"Abigail..." Madison said slowly."I think I'm a girl."

"Well, I mean, yeah, obviousl--"

"No, Abigail, I mean like, a girl girl."

Abigail raised her eyebrows.

"I just, I had this image just now," Madison said, "Of like, having to go back when all this is done, when the documentary is over, and it just scared the hell out of me. Because it'd mean going back to how I was before, and that...I won't do it. I don't ever want to be that again. I...I want to be a girl, but I don't--"

Madison was surprised when Abigail practically leapt across the couch and bear hugged her.

"Finally." Abigail whispered.

"Abby, boobs, boobs, you're squishing my boobs." Madison wheezed out.

"Oh, sorry." Abigail said. "I should have known better." She let go of Madison, who took a minute to massage her now sore chest. "It's just that I've been waiting for you to say something."

"What do you mean?" Madison asked.

"Girl, you were basically sending out psychic beams saying 'I'm trans I'm trans I'm trans' for like, the last two weeks." Abigail said. "You really think a guy would be OK with growing boobs?"

Madison opened her mouth to object, then thought about it for two nanoseconds before realizing Abigail was totally right. Unless every guy out there secretly wanted to be a girl or something. And like, who wouldn't want to be a girl?

"OK, but like...oh geez, this makes things so complicated." Madison said. "I went into this like, trying to expose how hormones are bad and turns out they're the greatest freaking thing to ever happen to me, so how can I go on camera and-"

"Maddy, you're spiraling." Abigail said. "Take a moment to breathe, OK?"

Madison nodded and took a deep breath to calm her racing mind. With the background noise of her panicked thoughts gone, she was able to make an observation.

"Wait, how come you're not freaking out?" Madison said. "You work at Muckraker too, shouldn't you be like, totally mad at me for being trans?" Wow, she actually said that out loud, that she was trans, and it felt right.

Abigail smiled. "OK, there is a reason I'm not freaking out, but it's a long story." She said. "Plus I feel like that was enough truth or dare for tonight."

"Wait, what?" Madison said. "You're just gonna keep me in suspense all night?"

"Madison what would you rather do," Abigail said, "belabor the fact that you're a girl and I support that, or keep up the slumber party shenanigans to celebrate your girlhood?"

Madison just smiled. 

She and Abigail let loose that night. They had a pillow fight, an honest to god pillow fight, they ordered pizza, they watched more girl movies, they did each other's makeup, and as the night went on they got more and more tired, and they both began to nod off. Abigail took the couch while Madison took the bed, and as she drifted off to sleep her life before becoming a girl seemed as ephemeral as any other dream.

sowerbot

Apologies for the late chapter, but school called. I might have to start posting chapters once a week until school is done. But in other news, I've started a Patreon! There's a link at the top of the page and there should be a button below the chapter. I made it for those who prefer using it over Ko-fi to support creators, but I'll also start posting exclusive content there sometime in the future. Till next time!