ARC ONE—Qin Yan becomes a demonic eggplant and terrorizes young protagonist

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Qin Yan died.

The last chunk of his memory was from Friday, 10:00 P.M.

He’d returned to his apartment from a boring day at the office, at which point he ate a single bowl of instant ramen for dinner that was supposed to have those spicy red peppers, the ones that make your taste buds tingle, but they were missing. All that was left were a few dried and chewy chunks of tofu, scallions, and eggplant. He’d considered writing a complaint to the company but decided it’d be too much of a bother. So, in his final hours of glory…he laid on his bed, watching 20XX donghua¹Chinese animation, like anime but the Chinese term for it reviews and reading web novels until he passed out from sheer exhaustion like any other introverted house-dwelling hermit.

That was around 3:30 A.M.

Somehow after that, he died. Qin Yan didn’t have any diagnosed medical conditions, so he figured he could have died from something as comical as getting tangled in his blanket while he slept and suffocating. Surmised; He had no idea what happened to him.  

The strangest part was that he’d woken up again.

He knew he’d died for certain, and his ‘body’ didn’t even feel the same, not like when he was a human. Multiple sensations lingered, neither hot nor cold, and there was no sense of pain or discomfort. There was nothing but darkness stretching out endlessly. Trying to move or talk was useless, and this lack of freedom was like being a comatose invalid in a hospital or a vampire stuck in a coffin.

All Qin Yan could do was think about how he should have filed that complaint over the missing spicy peppers. After all, it did end up being the last thing he had the chance to do. But it was too late now. 

So, he spent a long time in dark nothingness. Or maybe it’d been less than a day. He was going crazy...

At first, Qin Yan hoped it would be like one of his reincarnation web novels, where the main characters finds themselves in a new world that they conveniently know the whole plot of. Not only that, but they also attract the attention of whatever protagonist and the two hook up and become a glamorous couple. That idea was quickly fading, though, as there was no semblance of a system, comment barrage, or points. He thought he could at least try shouting in his mind;

“Hello! System?”

…

“Don’t care if you’re annoying, evil, cute, blackbelly, or robot type, I could use some company—"

…

“That’s saying a lot because I usually like to be alone...system?”

Qin Yan wasn’t sure what kind of ‘being’ he was at this point, with the foreign sensation and all, but he thought extra hard and no system interface appeared. No lights, no text, no sounds. Nada. Zip. Sigh…after all, a fun fantasy setting like that was too optimistic, wasn’t it? Maybe he was in an odd kind of afterlife or purgatory. Could it be setting where he was comatose, but his brain was still active?

At this point it didn’t matter what it was. It was awful.

Eventually, Qin Yan wasted time with his own imaginary worlds, making new endings to stories that had deeply dissatisfied him when they plot-twisted into a tragedy during the last three chapters, and wondering if, by the time he saw the light of day again, China would have reduced its bias against LGBT+ communities.

That is, if he ever saw light again.

There was no clock to tell him any sense of time. Had it been one measly minute, day, week, or month? Qin Yan remembered reading many other novels where characters had been left in dark states of dormancy and decided that they overestimated the ease with which it could be done. Humans are meant to be social creatures. Solitary confinement is a torture. At certain times his consciousness was barely active. At other times there was an immense longing for his previous life, a furious rage at what happened to him, a despondency about having to survive like this. Just let him die. Eventually, he could only try and make his mind disassociate to ease the mental strain of it. He felt less and less, descending into a state of thoughtless apathy.

The only thing that gave him a twinge of hope, every now and then, was a single disturbance. A refreshing pulsation, a cool flow of energy into himself, one that allowed him to believe with desperate hope that something must be happening.

Qin Yan was right.

After excruciating solitude that left him a shell of himself, he did, in fact, see the light of day in a literal sense. It happened slowly, and he didn’t believe it at first, thinking that he was imaging the sunlight again as a blurred light entered his vision. But, steadily, giant pebbles appeared around him…they weren't giant, he was tiny….and grains of sand, dirt. Most glaring of all was the bright-gold, burning sun that made him feel like he was basking in a kind of induced, hallucinatory bliss.

Before he could think through his current state, some voice went off in his head.

GREETINGS.

It boomed with arrogance. And it was absolutely not Qin Yan thinking to himself again. Could this be…no way…

It is I, the wondrous and awe-inspiring system S!

There was a long silence from Qin Yan's shock until he finally responded, “…hey.”

So there was a system, did this mean he was in some weird transmigration setting after all? Did the ‘S’ stand for anything? He had a million questions but felt tongue-tied as it seemed that everything went from 0 to 100 in a flash.

I suppose you, with your small mind, wonder why I have chosen to appear at such a time?

“…”

I am sunlight activated!

Qin Yan was incredibly underwhelmed. 

Hah, I jest! I merely wanted to see how your feeble mind would react to uninterrupted darkness without a single companion. You do not cry or beg, but I take great delight in the fact that you are even more apathetic than before.

It became clear that the ‘S’ stood for ‘sadist’. 

“…”

“Can you get to the point?” Qin Yan asked, internally aggrieved, but if he offended the system and it didn't explain anything that would only make the situation worse for himself. He had to bear with it... 

All right. A dead toy is no longer a fun toy, so I shall tell you…you have been REINCARNATED into the novel ‘Crimson Wisteria Captivates the World’. REJOICE while you can.

“…what? Why don’t I remember this novel?”

System S paused, and there were a few customary bleepings before it responded.

Based on my detailed examination of your history, you read it when you were 12 years of age.

That was eleven years ago. As one of the hundreds of novels he skimmed through when he just got into the genre of power-up cultivation, transmigration, xianxia, fantasy cultivation, etcetera, Qin Yan didn’t remember squat about this trash novel. The majority of them were overflowing with two-dimensional characters, OP protagonists, flimsy villains, and harems with women that all wanted the stallion’s d*** for unknown reasons. Before Qin Yan died, he’d refined his sensibility and became a web novel snob, reading meticulously picked, thought-provoking web novels of historical merit. If he transmigrated into a trash novel and didn’t even have the mercy of knowing the plot, he might as well enjoy this fleeting reincarnation and wait for his own demise.

Qin Yan, you’re already giving up? asked the system, sarcasm in its voice.

“Maybe.”

Sigh~ I worried so. Well, this system will make it easy for you. There are POINTS you shall gather.

“Oh, is it a setting where if I get enough I go back to my own world?”

No, fool. I said REINCARNATED. Not TRANSMIGRATED.

“Those mean almost the same-”

Silence. Your body is dead as a doornail. You’ve already been cremated! 

“…fine. Do I have to go to other worlds after this, then?” There was no way Qin Yan would do that, not after this torturous first experience. 

As I was saying—you collect POINTS, and when these POINTS reach max, you can reincarnate into a better body within this world. To get these POINTS, you must make characters angry.

Qin Yan was at a loss, because while system S was trying to make things sound simpler, it actually made it ten times as vague and suspicious. If he could raise an eyebrow, he would, but currently had none. He settled on asking,

“Are there any extra rewards? I was looking forward to the next season of Grandmaster of Bunny Cultivation²If you don't get the reference, you can even type in what I wrote and it'll still pop up on google, the author of GDC is probably one of the most well known Chinese BL writers to English readers..”

An impossibility. I, on the other hand, shall be watching Hei Mutian petting the rabbits with Lin Mingji.

The words were like a backhand slap, and it finally sunk in. All of the things Qin Yan planned to watch and do, year by year, all of that was gone for good. His poor family. He may have died as stupidly as getting tangled in his blankets (probably not), but it would still be a hard reality for them to accept.

“So…what’s the point of me being here? I don’t fix plot, I don’t go to a different world…am I even a character from the novel?”

The GODDESS that sent you here despised the misogynistic and sexist undertones within this story. She hates the stallion protagonist and antagonist and only wishes to see them angered, humiliated, and sexually frustrated. Since you understand, I will now explain the plot.

Qin Yan did not understand at all!

You are currently a DEMON EGGPLANT grown by the Demonic Lord Wangzi.

Well, this was a new set-up, but explained why he couldn't move and only saw surrounding pebbles. And were all the caps and bolds necessary?

Nevertheless, a few minor details of the novel's plot were coming back to him. The title of 'Crimson Wisteria Captivates the World' was centered around the climax of the story. The protagonist -name forgotten- cuts apart the antagonist -name also forgotten- so that blood spurts  onto a nearby wisteria, turning it crimson. All the female characters that were watching, yet apparently unable to fight against the antagonist themselves, find that crimson wisteria to be very captivating, romantic, and…sexy, even. It was the one thing Qin Yan remembered the most clearly in the book, and that was definitely because it was the most disturbing. It alluded that the blackened protagonist went blood-crazed after killing the antagonist, and under the wisteria tree…a sort of creepy, insane o*** went on with him and the harem members to vent his emotions.

If Qin Yan could shudder in horror, he would. But perhaps the biggest mystery is the fact that he’s somebody’s eggplant. Truly, he couldn’t remember anything else about the novel right now. And boy, was he trying.

You must wonder why you are an EGGPLANT, boomed the system.

…this System can’t really read his mind, right?

The eggplant is only mentioned once as a tool used by Demonic Lord Wangzi to attack intruders and could be considered no more than a mob character. However, it could host a primitive soul. Your soul. Furthermore, this very place happens to be where Song Heqing was first enslaved for years. As a plant in the nightshade family³Yes, do not eat eggplant leaves or flowers! They aren't extremely toxic, but do not make eggplant salad., you have every means to make his days of enslavement all the more insufferable.

Ah…so it was the place where young, mostly time-skipped version of protagonist Song Heqing was tormented and blackened into a cold stallion scum?

“Can you explain more of the plot elements? The thing is...I don't actually re-”

You’ve read it before, surely you don’t need it.

“I would really appreciate if-”

No.

Qin Yan was restraining his anger with all his might. “Great. You were more helpful than I expected, system S.”

Naturally, because I am returning to the GODDESS as soon as I finish speaking with you. The POINTS will be all that you have left as you wait here, a mere sprout of an eggplant. You will never hear my sublime voice again.

“Pity.”

Qin Yan was not stupid. No matter how much of an a**hole system S is, cursing or being snide to a sadist who left him in the dark for paltry amusement would probably just bring it happiness like a parasite feeding of sorrow.

Suffer well…farewell. Hehehe…

System S finished with laughter on the caliber of any classic villain, then bleeped out of existence from Qin Yan’s mind.

Good riddance! But what had he done to deserve being thrown into this world? He stopped reading these kinds of novels, so why did the goddess choose him? Or was it because he did nothing for the feminist cause? And yet he had nothing against feminists, gender equality, or any of that, either.

Perhaps he’d find out eventually.

As an eggplant sprout, no more than two tender leaves soaking up sunlight, Qin Yan still didn’t have much to do, but the situation had nevertheless improved. At least he could hear the firebirds of Lord Wangzi’s estate cackle like an old lady, nearby servants and beasts gurgle and growl, and a few high-pitched screams of agony and terror echo as people were dragged across the grounds to their doom.

It was still "better" than dead silence…

Amarathia

Average eggplant seed germination time is seven through fifteen days, depending on the temperature. So Qin Yan spent just about two weeks in solitary confinement. Eggplants are amazing! I have to apologize ahead of time for any eggplant related facts that are inaccurate in this story, as, in essence, it is a fantasy.