50: Existential Crisis
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So matters were finally wrapping up.

Shen Wuming had dried his tears, but he wore an expression as though he didn’t know what to do now that he’d lost his purpose. He stared glumly as his sister. Then it looked like he was about cling onto again and beg that she stay.

Qin Yan walked over with an awkward but firm expression, his chest feeling murky, and placed his body between the two.

“…I think you’ve hugged enough.”

“Oh, I’m sorry Qin Yan…” replied Shen Yilan with Song Heqing's now effeminate male voice. “We’re all right now, I have finally cleared this regret of mine. Now I only need to enter the spirit vessel stored on my body.”

She stepped to the lid of her coffin and pried open the lid.

Shen Wuming had his head lowered, watching in glum sadness.

Mist and fog oozed out from the coffin, the figure of Shen Yilan’s preserved and delicate figured disappeared. When the cold fog cleared, it was gone. Disintegrated into dust. All that was left within the coffin was an azurite stone, carved into the shape of a firefly.

Soon enough, Song Heqing’s body glowed bluish until a light flowed out, dancing into the air until it entered the small carved stone.

Qin Yan leapt over to catch Song Heqing's swaying figure, propping him up safely against his body. He stared at the glowing firefly amulet, and slowly reached down his hand to pick it up…

“No!” Shen Wuming hissed. His hand reached in and took it before Qin Yan could.

Who could have thought that in the next moment the little stone would glow, its wings would flap, and that the firefly would flit through the air as though alive?

Shem Wuming seemed distraught as it flew from his palm.

“Jiejie…” he whispered.

“Song Heqing?” Qin Yan prodded. He held his body in his arms, keeping him steady, and placed a hand on the side of his face as his heart felt tremors. “…are you okay? Song Heqing?”

In the next few seconds Song Heqing’s eyes tensed then fluttered open. He gave a faint smile to Qin Yan.

“Did all go well?”

Qin Yan nodded emphatically. “Uh…you were a personal body pillow for Shen Wuming to cry on for like an hour.”

Song Heqing’s expression turned deadpan as he stood from Qin Yan’s arms. No wonder the front of his robe was so wet.

“…is that so.” 

“Uhh.” Qin Yan wasn’t sure if maybe he should have prevented that. “Sorry, I just felt bad for them so I…”

“It’s all right, I was only surprised. Remember what we've discussed Qin Yan, you don't have to worry, just do what you feel is right,” Song Heqing assured him. “In any case, I can see that Miss Shen has now occupied the firefly spirit vessel. It seems she's keen on helping us.”

"Yeah."

Qin Yan sighed as he thought of that, glancing at the forlorn Shen Wuming. What would become of him now? Would he just continue wandering and lonesome? That was a bit sad to imagine but he didn't know what else to do. Qin Yan was also still hearing the system bleep as it searched for information on the demon in the novel which didn't help his mood. It would take a little more time to finish.  

“Really, thank you Qin Yan…” said Shen Yilan again. The firefly came closer to him, hovering near the gravity-defying curl on top of his head. “So, I am fully willing to help you, but…there is just one more thing I wanted to ask you with regards to my brother…”

One more?! Okay that’s fair, he was just wondering about that, but…but…

Qin Yan went taunt. He glanced back at Shen Wuming was growing mushrooms in a corner then back to Song Heqing. Suddenly he didn’t know where to put his eyes because he was pretty sure he knew what Shen Yilan was going to ask of him.

“Do you think you could look out for my brother a little while? He probably doesn’t know what to do when it comes to going forward, and frankly, I don’t think he’s quite the same after all this time…perhaps he could be of assistance in the journey you’ll be going on?”

“….” Eggplant felt reluctant. 

The Shen Wuming who was easily aggravated, switching moods left and right. The one who just sobbed for hours and showed how mentally unstable he was within every whine and plead he did to his sister for her to stay. Isn’t taking him along with them the same as getting some kind of ticking time bomb party member? Or wouldn’t he just be a hardcore third-wheel between him and Song Heqing?

Like, sure a firefly wouldn’t be noticed, but if they start bringing this tall guy in mourning clothes around with them everywhere…

Plus, Shen Yilan wasn’t just asking them to let Shen Wuming follow them around, but to help the guy find a new life purpose, but Qin Yan already had his own existential crisis going on. You know, being an eggplant an all. Actually no he was okay and accepting of his eggplant identity. It was tracking down demons and all. Discovering why he was murdered and set up to become crazy, that jazz.

How was he going help another human being with their mental instabilities when he couldn’t manage his own?!

With Qin Yan’s long silence, Shen Yilan said, “I see. It was too much to ask…”

The firefly flew back into the air, landing on Shen Wuming’s head.

Now that the man had a cute firefly on top of his head, half his foreboding aura faded and was replaced with silliness. And at that moment Shen Wuming’s face lite up slightly, as though extremely happy his sister had chose to land on him.

Qin Yan stared blankly.

T-They are making it hard to refuse! Hard to refuse helping this tragic brother and sister pair!

“Okay…” said Qin Yan, caving in. “Your brother probably will want to go with us to make sure you’re okay, too, anyway.”

Shen Yilan gave a polite, “Thank you! Sorry for the trouble!”

Qin Yan then turned to face Shen Wuming, staring at his toes before asking, “So, since your sister is traveling with us from now on…would you like to come along, as well? We should get along from now on…” he gave a dry laugh out of nervousness.

Yes, let's put all that 'hole through stomach' and 'tricked into being knocked unconscious' behind us. 

Song Heqing shot Qin Yan a face of confusion.

Qin Yan just shrugged in return, trying to convey the ‘well we are taking the sister with us, so it’s like when you buy a table you also have to buy the chairs because they are only sold in a set’ look.

Song Heqing nodded with understanding. 

In the meantime, Shen Wuming glared at them both and gave a scoff.

It was uncertain if that meant a yes or no to Qin Yan’s offer.

But that was that, Qin Yan strode forward and went to exit Shen Yilan’s tomb. One small firefly flew after him and Song Heqing naturally followed suit, keeping a wary eye on Shen Wuming.

At first, Shen Wuming did not move. He stared at them from below the stairway, seeing light that seeped in from the doorway. His expression was at first stony, then gained a softer look...until he finally followed them up the stairs.

This place was now only empty and cold, he truly couldn’t stay.

Outside, Qin Yan first went to fetch White Mist (which he had flung out of Song Heqing’s hands some time ago). Even though he did not like that sword, it would be outright rude to not get it after throwing it away. He brought it back with a grudging expression, which elicited a faint smile from Song Heqing.

So the four of them were standing awkwardly out in the rubble of Phoenix Demonic Sect. Qin Yan was not really sure how to proceed from here, he began to listen to the bleeps of the system as it accessed his memory bank, embracing the faint reprieve from thinking.

Do they go and hunt down System S right away?

Or do they go back to Eagle Sect and talk with Cui Luoyang?

“Qin Yan,” said Song Heqing gently, “I think it will put us both more at ease if we go back to-”

He stopped.

??? Qin Yan was staring at him expectantly, relying him as his guidance, his wise opinion. Now that Song Heqing stopped mid sentence, it made him uneasy. But Song Heqing only stopped because a little messenger butterfly made of paper was fluttering towards them from the sky.

It was about to land on Qin Yan’s shoulder, but a gust of wind cause it to get stuck in his tangling curls of hair.

“Er…" Qin Yan's hands went into his hair but he couldn't find the butterfly. It was lost in an unknown land. 

Without a word Song Heqing came over and untangled it from his hair, placing it in Qin Yan’s palm. He'd only just begun to open the message, lifting the corner of a wing on the butterfly, when it burst open the rest of the way with a loud ‘POOF’.

“…”

It was signed by Bai Lian, and was 9 pages long. The handwriting bordered on illegible.

The beginning read;

Junior-brother Qin,

This week at Eagle Sect has passed normally since you and Song shidi’s departure, mostly.

I, as per usual, visited Peak Lord Sun on the second day of the week. We chatted in the garden about poisonous insects until I asked if she would like to go out flower-viewing with me, then spend the night at my residence, at which point she threw me over her mansion wall.

I only broke one bone from the fall. It healed quickly.

Despite this rejection, I think it was because she was too shy, there was this little…”

Qin Yan frowned slightly, Song Heqing was frowning even more.

He really liked Bai Lian, but at the same time they didn’t have the leisure to read all 9 pages of her letter on how she was pining after Sun Daiyu right now. They could read it later. Maybe on the bedside before they went to sleep, it was an interesting before-bed read.

Song Heqing solemnly flipped the letter pages until it came to a paragraph at the end.

“…so of course I’m not writing this letter just for fun! I wanted to ask when you and Song shidi plan to return to Moonstone Peak. You see, ever since brother Cui returned, he’s been acting very strange. As in, not bickering with me anymore. He is in and out of the sect instead of lazing around. And he hasn’t even been playing around with anyone’s heart!

Even when I ask, he won’t breathe a word of it to me. If you guys fought with him on Fulao Mountain, please just make up fast, okay?

Shizun is getting really cranky about it too!

So hurry up and come back, or I will hunt you both down.

-The Lethal Butterfly, Bai Lian.”

“I guess we’re going back for now,” said Qin Yan.

But he was afraid of what was wrong with Cui Luoyang. Yet…Moonstone Peak was like he and Song Heqing’s new home. They couldn’t just lose it over this. If he just explained everything carefully to Cui Luoyang, then they could talk it out. 

 

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