The day had gone by like usual. I nearly marched into the boy’s toilet at one point before correcting myself, but otherwise there were no hiccups. Nobody ever questioned my change of gender nor did they question my behaviour. Gym the following day would be an issue. I felt like a fuckup even considering stepping foot into the girls changing room – even though I was allowed now. My academic performance was one of the things that had not changed. I continued to grind through my work. I was no honour student, not like my sister.

It was eventually time for our evening club session. Most of the other students would clear out, go-home club members who weren’t training for upcoming events. In the summer it was still busy for a couple hours afterwards – but in the winter some clubs simply wouldn’t bother. Our room was affected badly by the weather too. In summer months it was an oven, in winter a freezer. You couldn’t win.

Autumn and Spring were the best months to assemble. In my opinion anyway. Kei loved the heat for some reason. Maybe he felt a natural affinity for it as a hot-headed idiot. The weather was starting to heat up as we entered Spring.

I could hear the other club members talking and banging things around. I slid open the door to reveal the silhouettes that I could see through the frosted glass. Kei, Johnny, and the previously absent Shinsuke. I turned to close the door behind me, but when I turned back all of their eyes were on me.

“What’s up?”

They looked away and went about their business, “Nothing, just seeing who was here.”

“It’s not going to be Matoi or Saaya.” I walked over to the guitar and began tuning it.

Shinsuke was a wallflower compared to Johnny and Kei. He had medium length black hair (well groomed and in line with school regulation,) his regular uniform free of creases or marks, and a pair of thick black rimmed glasses. He could definitely play the bass though; appearances are deceiving and all that. He spoke with a soft tempo, a naturally non-confrontational tone that let him get away with all sorts of comments.

He looked between the three of us and formulated his opinion, “I think we’d be more popular with Miya at the front,” he smirked.

Johnny laughed, “Shut up, I’m prettier than her.”

“I don’t have the voice to match the look,” I said. I’d never liked signing in front of other people. “Isn’t a pretty girl on a guitar more marketable anyway?” There was a sense of disconnection from myself when I said it – like I was talking about somebody else. I wouldn’t have bragged about myself otherwise.

“Yeah, how many bands have female guitar players these days?”

Shinsuke twanged his bass, “I was just joking.”

“You should know better; Johnny has an insecurity problem.”

“Shut up you damn tomboy.”

The conversation was interrupted as the door opened again, stood there was my sister. Reina bowed her head slightly. “Good evening.” Kei immediately straightened up his hair and sat up in his seat. He was so transparent sometimes.

“Hey, what’s up?” I asked.

“I don’t have council duties tonight. I was hoping we could talk.”

“Give me a minute guys.” I put the guitar down and followed Reina down the corridor, to the spot where we first spoke a few days before. Reina took a moment to compose herself.

“How did your first day back go?”

“Fine. Not good for my heart, but fine.”

Reina brushed a lock of hair from her face. She had a natural elegance that I couldn’t match. A lifetime of meeting high expectations. Of saving face and practicing nothing but politeness. “You seemed to be enjoying yourself.”

“I was with my friends.”

“But you were worried.”

“I’m still worried. Kei said something this morning that worried me. He started talking about changing appearances and stuff – now I’m thinking that the god has done something else too.”

“Hm. But how do you feel?”

“I can’t feel anything but… normal. It’d be a waste of effort if I jumped in the river because I wanted to be a man again. But again, why do I deserve this treatment? What made me so special that god took pity on me? What’s the catch? Can I reject this if I don’t like it?”

Reina blinked, “I see.” Her mouth was a thin line, the usual pout gone. “I’d say that there is nothing that you need to do to deserve help.”

“But I was okay! I mean, it sucks that I didn’t have any family left – but I had support, and a house, and things to eat!”

“Family is more important than that.”

“I think a lot of people would disagree. Why not use your three wishes on a homeless guy?”

Before we could continue Johnny poked his head through the door, “Are you two okay? It sounds pretty rowdy out here.”

“We are fine,” Reina responded. “We were merely having a debate.”

“Uh, alright. We’ll be waiting Miya.”

Reina sighed, “I do not think there is room for doubt now, nor is it possible for me to change things again. The suffering of others shouldn’t preclude you from your own happiness.”

“We’re talking about a tangible thing though, the power to change a life, to change the world.”

“I do not know the full truth – but I believe that the enshrined spirit only can do so much.”

“It’s nice to know that the godly spirit has ground rules to follow,” I spat.

“Do you not believe in him?” Reina seemed genuinely intrigued, or perhaps just hurt. I couldn’t tell.

“I believe, how can I not? But faith is another thing entirely.”

“I see. If you could speak with them, what would you think?”

“Depends on what they say.”

“Come with me, this Sunday. Let’s go to the shrine together.”

I nodded, “Fine.”

We parted ways. My mind boiled over with a thousand things I wanted to say. A conversation with a god? Impossible, unreasonable, stupid. All words that I would have used a day before, before I got turned into Reina’s new sister through divine intervention. I walked back into the clubroom as sat down. We hadn’t started just yet. Kei was still messing with his setup.

I looked over to Shinsuke, who was staring a hole through the floor, “Hey Shin, why weren’t you able to come the other day?”

He winced. He tried to stop himself, but he winced. I noticed. Shinsuke never liked to talk about himself or what he was doing. It was something that I’d come to accept at the time. Everybody had secrets they wanted to keep, and it wasn’t my place to pry. But the way he reacted to the question told me that it wasn’t something minor – or something that he’d feel comfortable discussing with me.

“Nothing, just a family thing…”

“Right.” I left it there. We played for two hours until the sun started to set. I kept my eyes on him.

A slip of fabric, a splatch of bruised skin.

I stayed silent.