Chapter One Hundred and Sixty-Nine - Rebels Without (Much of) a Cause

“So, are you really going to pirate us right here, out in the open?” I asked.

There were still plenty of dock workers around. Less than when we’d come in to dock, but they were still there. A few of them were even setting things aside and looking our way, and I was pretty sure I saw money changing hands.

Two-Eyed Joe, who seemed to be the leader of his little group, stepped up and puffed out his chest. “We’re real pirates. And we’re really going to take your ship.”

“Just the three of you?” I asked. “You know, the Beaver’s a small ship, but even I’d hesitate to pilot it with only a crew of three.” Technically that’s how many experienced crewmembers we had, but there were others onboard too, to give the harpies a break and to help where we could.

“We know what we’re doing,” Joe said.

“I really, truly doubt that,” Amaryllis said. “You are, without any doubt, the dumbest excuse for a pirate I’ve ever seen.”

“Amaryllis,” I soothed. “He’s just trying his best.”

“He’s trying his best to pirate our ship. Why are you encouraging them?”

“Well, mostly because they seem pretty harmless,” I admitted. All three of them looked younger than us. Not kids, but not adults either. So just three teens having some fun. “Say, do you guys know of a nice place to eat? We’re not going to be in the port for too long, but we’d like to try the local cuisine. I heard that the fish was great.”

The three tensed up, then as one they sighed and their shoulders all drooped. “I guess this is normal,” Oda said.

“Lame,” Sally agreed.

Two-Eyed Joe shook his head. “Yeah, another bust.”

“Aww, hey now,” I said. “It’s okay. I bet that with a bit of practice you could be great pirates.”

“Are you really doing this?” Bastion asked.

“Doing what?”

“Encouraging these children to live a life of lawlessness? I’ve no authority over you or them, but I still feel as though I ought to point out that encouraging people to commit crimes is a terrible idea.”

I shook my head. “No, no, there are different sorts of pirates out there. There’s the evil sort, that goes around plundering things, and there’s the good sort, who just want to live a life free from any laws and such, where they can be themselves and go on grand adventures with their friends. If I had to pick a kind of pirate to be, I’d be the second sort.”

“That’s... not piracy,” Bastion said. “That’s just being irresponsible while onboard a ship.”

I stepped up to the pirates before us and before they had time to act, looped my arms around Joe and Oda’s. “Alright boys and girl, lead us to the admin building and big sis Broccoli will listen to your dreams of sailing the seven seas!”

“There are four seas,” Amaryllis chimed in.

“What about the sky?”

The harpy huffed. “The sky isn’t a sea, you dolt.”

The pirates were a bit confused, but after a bit of stumbling about, we were all heading over to the administrative building, my friends forming a sort of pack behind the group. The day was too bright and cheery for fighting though, so I tried to enjoy the atmosphere while the two boys I had my arms linked with sweated up a storm.

“You guys look nervous,” I said.

“Ah,” Two-Eyed Joe said. “Well, you’re a little bit scary is all.”

“Huh?” I asked.

“How cowardly do you need to be in order for Broccoli to scare you?” Amaryllis asked. “She’s... her.”

“Yeah, I’m me. And I’m not scary,” I said as I pulled my arms free from theirs. “Sorry. You must think I was trying to capture you or something?”

“We get arrested. A lot,” Sally said.

Bastion snorted. “I can’t imagine why.”

I placed my arms over their shoulders. “Well, we’re not arresting you, or anything like that. We really do just need a local guide.” The boys shared a look, but they kept with us until we reached the administration building. Amaryllis was the only one to step in, claiming that it was her job as first mate--and only responsible crewmember--to get the paperwork done. And that she’d get us a good deal on docking fees. I didn’t envy the people working the front desk.

“So, uh, you wanted to know about our dream?” Joe asked.

Sally sighed. “Joe, they don’t care. No one does.”

“I might not care yet, but that’s because I haven’t heard it. I won’t laugh, promise,” I said.

Joe gestured to me while giving Sally a look. The three must have been good friends because they communicated a lot without speaking. “We want to become pirates so that we can leave this place and see the world. We want to visit the city states of the Endless Swells, and see the Grey Wall, and swim in the Willow Waters.”

“Couldn’t you just join an existing crew?” Bastion asked. “You seem like hardy enough young people. Ships need sailors.”

“They wouldn’t hire us, and we don’t want to be stuck doing runs back and forth for cargo and stuff. Anyhow, Sally couldn’t join. They don’t hire girls for that kind of thing here.”

“The Exploration Guild might have a spot for you,” I said before tapping my badge. That reminded me, I could stop by the local guild and see if there was anything fun going on around the area. Also, the guild still owed me for that one flower-mapping job... I was really bad at managing things. “They accept girls. I’d know.”

“That needs a bunch of money, and you need to do what you’re told all the time,” Joe said with a pout. It was really unfortunate for him that teenage boys with scraggly, patchy mustaches and lots of acne couldn’t pull off pouts.

I didn’t want to judge my new somewhat-piratical friends so soon, but it felt as if they didn’t actually know what they wanted. And that if they had it, they still wouldn’t be all that happy. I suspected that there was more that they needed than just a life with more freedom.

Amaryllis returned, looking particularly smug. “We’re good for the rest of the day and all of tomorrow,” she said. “They’ll be sending someone to refuel the ship tomorrow morning. I’ll want to be there for that, to make sure they’re not just giving us any old junk, but otherwise it seems that we’re set to go.”

“Good work,” I said. “We were just talking about our pirate friends here.”

Amaryllis eyed the three teens, then shrugged. “Give them to the local guard, and let’s get on with our lives.”

The three tensed. Bastion nodded, and Awen seemed preoccupied.

“I don’t know if that’s the best idea,” I said. “How about we let them off with a stern warning instead? Maybe they can be our local guides? I have a few cops to spare for their ‘become a pirate’ fund.”

“You’d fund pirates?” Bastion asked.

“As if the sylph haven’t funded a few privateers over the years,” Amaryllis said.

“That’s an entirely different situation,” Bastion replied. He shook his head. “You know what, it’s fine. These three are too incompetent to be actual threats. I think any money you give them will likely be spent feeding them, so I can’t truly discourage you here.”

I grinned. Bastion was a bit prickly, but he had a nice heart. I wondered if we should have been trying to include him in our group some more. A party of four was thirty-three percent more fun than a party of three, at least according to my friendship math. “Neat. So, wanna show us to the best place for local foods around here?” I asked Two-Eyed Joe.

“Ah, sure, why not. There’s this place right on the edge of the docks. Owner used to run a stall, but he sold that and opened a little restaurant. It’s real popular with the dockworkers and some of the sailors. Cheap, but the food’s always been good.”

“That sounds perfect. Any objections?" I asked my friends. Then I noticed that Awen was still looking away from us. “Awen?”

The girl jumped. “Oh? Sorry I... Sorry, I think I noticed something.” She pointed off to the side.

A bulletin board was set up against the wall of the administration building. It looked like it was mostly covered in requests for workers of one sort or another. Ships looking for crews, sailors looking for work, a few things for sale. And in the middle of it all, a sketch of Awen in a pretty dress.

“Is that you?” I asked as I walked over.

‘AWEN BRISTLECONE’ was the headline. And below that, the image of my friend, looking a bit more plump than she was now. I glanced at Awen. I hadn’t noticed her losing any weight, not that she needed to. I guess that all the adventuring counted as good exercise.

“Are you reading this?” Amaryllis asked.

‘Awen Bristlecone. Wanted Alive and Hale. Disappeared from Greenshade and last seen in Rosenbell in company of a young woman and a female harpy. Award 500 Gold, and the favour of the House of Bristlecone.’

“That doesn’t look good,” I said.

Awen’s face shifted from teary eyed sadness, to glaring determination. “They want me back,” she said. It didn’t sound all that nice. “After everything, they still want to take me back.”

I pulled her into a hug from behind because she looked like she really needed one. “It’ll be okay,” I said.

“I know,” she said. “Because I’m not going back.”

I cut off a giggle. It was a bit mean to laugh right then. “Did you want to go back to the Beaver?”

Awen shook her head, blonde hair brushing past my face. “No, no I want to stay with you and Amaryllis.”

“Okay then,” I said before turning to the pirates. “So, that restaurant?”

“Right,” Two-Eyed Joe said. He started down the street, and the rest of us filed after him. I gave Awen a last squeeze before following too. She tore her poster from the wall and stuffed it into a pocket before running after me.

That probably counted as defacing public property, or maybe just theft, but it was her face on the poster, so I don’t think anyone would complain.

As we moved away from the airship docks and closer to the normal-ship docks, the air changed. It started to smell a lot more like salt and brine and dead fish. “Is the water over there salty?” I asked.

“The Empty Sea’s all salt all the way,” Two-Eyed Joe said. “It’s not very popular work, but collecting salt pays pretty well if you’re into that. They sell it to people all over Mattergrove since it’s cheaper than buying it from the Endless Swells or getting it from elsewhere.”

“The only other sources are the cervid’s sea salt and the sylph’s pink mountain salt,” Amaryllis said. “And the Snowlanders, but their salt is strange, so no one uses it for eating.”

We arrived at a busy little restaurant, with benches outside under colourful parasols. The tiny interior was little more than a counter, behind which a few burly cooks were frying all sorts of stuff on glowing, rune-carved grilles.

The menu was pretty much just fish prepared in a dozen ways. I had to rely on Two-Eyed Joe and Sally to pick something tasty out. Sally, at least, seemed really enthused about the food.

When the owner, a big guy with an apron that looked tiny over his tummy, called out for us, we paid and made our way back to our seats where we dug into our meals with the same gusto as the locals.

At least, I did. My friends were all way too prudish to just dig in, even after I offered to Clean their hands and talons.

As I ate, I let my mind wander over all sorts of things, from the value of piracy, to how, exactly, I had ended up with so many friends who were all raised to be just a smidge uptight.