Okay, this is awkward. REALLY awkward. C’mon, Sveta, say something! I was internally panicking at the sudden shift in atmosphere.

Genevi had lost herself in thought at the tail end of our conversation about her love life, and then started nose-bleeding with a dopey, blushy look on her face. I don’t know WHAT exactly she was thinking about, but I had a fairly good guess.

Urgh, what can I say to change the mood? This awkward silence is killing me. C’mon, Sveta, turn up that charm and make small talk!

“Uh…” I began, forcing a smile, “Nice weather we’re having, hmm?”

Genevi looked at me like I had grown a fifth spider-leg. “We’re in space.”

“Ohh… riiiiiiight.”

The awkward silence descended once more.

I mentally berated myself. Nice job, Sveta. Great work. A+ brilliance. That’s putting your brain cell to good use!

*****

Absent conversation with my pilot, my own mind began to drift. I thought back to the circumstances that lead to this moment.

The catalyst, I suppose, had been Genevi getting super drunk at the New Year’s party. She had aired her romantic woes and exposed EVERY skeleton in her closet… before making a clumsy pass at me. It was extremely weird. I was never one for polyamorous relationships, and I already had something good going on with Miette, so I wasn’t really open to the idea. Since Genevi had been three sheets to the wind, I decided to just pretend it never happened.

That was backfiring on me now. If her nosebleed was to be believed, those feelings hadn’t just been the alcohol talking. And I was at a loss for what to do.

The morning after the party, Miette had brought it up to me. She was an experienced drinker, and always remembered everything that happened even when shitfaced. As a result, she had sensed my unease.

“So, Genevi’s proposition made you uncomfortable, huh?”

I rubbed my chin. “I’m not sure if ‘uncomfortable’ is the right term, but, uh… how does it make you feel? Since you and I are together, y’know?”

“Hrm. Like I said last night, I don’t mind if you want to pursue another girl.” she shrugged.

I’m actually a bit miffed she’s so casual about it. “Even if you say that, I…”

“You’re not in favor?”

“I mean, I’m not OPPOSED to the idea. I’ve seen plenty of couples who make the whole poly thing work. Hell, Vicky, Zehra and Teles are a prime example. It’s just… I don’t know if it’s for me.”

“Fair enough. What about Genevi, then? What do you think of her?”

“I, uh, well… she’s very nice, I suppose? Cute and friendly, but with a dark side. And… a very skilled pilot?”

Miette laughed. “Sounds like you don’t have strong personal feelings about her one way or another.”

“That’s exactly it!” I exclaimed. “She’s very… nice. But romantically, I don’t feel anything towards her.”

“You have two options, then.” Miette responded. “You either wait and see if those kinds of feelings develop with time, or turn her down before it goes any further.”

“IS it going to go any further, though? She was just drunk!” I protested.

“If I know Genevi… it definitely will. She’s quite a skirt-chaser, despite her shyness. The problem is, in her haste, she keeps picking women who are wrong for her.”

“ARGH!” I moaned. “How would I even know if I’m RIGHT for her?! How did I wind up in this conundrum to begin with?!”

Miette pulled me into a tight hug. “There there, Sveta. If you need my help, I can run interference. Or be your wingman, whatever you prefer. Just let me know.”

“Wauuu… thank you, Miette. I suppose I just need to think about it.” I leaned into her hug, feeling the warm of her skin against my sensory electric field.

Miette nodded and snuggled with me. That made me feel a lot better.

*****

“So, uh…” Genevi broke the silence and interrupted my little memory trip.

“Hmm?”

“Do you… hate me, Sveta?” she asked sheepishly.

Alarm bells started ringing in my head. What kind of question is THAT?! If she starts playing the pity card, I’m shutting this whole thing down RIGHT NOW.

“Sorry, I worded that badly.” she continued, perhaps sensing my unease. “What I meant was, given what I did at the New Year’s party, I’ve probably made you very uncomfortable.”

I let myself relax, just a bit, but kept my guard up. “Well… I won’t lie. It was uncomfortable. And very weird.”

“Ah, I’m sorry.” she said, sounding dejected.

There’s no way we’re skirting around the issue. I need to establish a good working relationship with her, and figure out where the boundaries should be. So let’s get right to the point.

“Let me be as clear as possible, Genevi. The reason it’s weird is that, right now, I don’t see you in a romantic light.”

“Ah.” Her voice was almost inaudible, even for my top-of-the-line audio sensors.

“Add onto that, I’ve never been one for polyamorous relationships. I’ve had partners who were romantically active with other people before, and it doesn’t bother me, but I’ve never indulged myself. Not that I’m OPPOSED to the idea, but it’s just something I’ve never had the urge to do.”

“In that case, I won’t…” Genevi began.

“Hang on, I’m not finished.” I interrupted. “I talked about this at length with Miette, and she laid out two options. First is I cut the whole thing off, and make it clear I'm not interested. Second is… I wait and see. The problem is I don’t know you all that well, Genevi. I know you as a pilot and soldier, but less as a person. So I can’t exactly make an informed decision about whether I feel anything deeper towards you.”

Genevi was silent, looking anguished. C’mon, don’t give me that pouty face. The pity card doesn’t work on me! I’m immune!

I shoved that thought aside and kept talking. “So I’ve thought long and hard about this, about which of those paths I’d like to take, and… I think I’d prefer to wait and see.”

“Huh?” Genevi looked surprised. She had probably been expecting a more negative response.

“As in, I’d like to get to know you better. Platonically, at least for now, but I’m not ruling anything out. I wouldn’t have gone out of my way with this” I motioned to my spidery outfit “if I didn’t care about you as a friend. So, if you’re fine with it, I’d to take it slow and see where things go.”

“R-Really?” she asked, a tinge of hope in her voice.

“Really.” I answered with a firm nod. “Please understand, I’m not making any promises.”

Genevi thought it over for a minute. “May I ask your reasoning for the decision?” She was probably wondering why I didn’t just say no outright.

“Sure. I might have to say something rude, though.” I warned.

“…I’m prepared.”

I steeled myself and let loose. “Genevi, you have a tendency to rush into relationships, and then flame out quickly. It happened with Monica most recently, and that girl from CIC before that… and if your sister is to be believed, it’s an ongoing pattern.”

“Urgh. That’s… true…” she said, biting her lip.

“What I’m saying is, I don’t want you to rush into this. I also don’t want to be a rebound girlfriend, and I don’t want to wind up hurting you. If anything happens, I want to make sure it’s right for both of us. Does that make sense?”

“Yeah.”

“So if you’re willing to accept those limitations… then I don’t mind seeing where this goes. But if either one of us feels like it isn’t working, I’d like to call it off with no hard feelings.”

There was another long silence. Then, quite unexpectedly, Genevi started laughing softly to herself.

“Genevi?” I inquired, perplexed.

“Sorry, sorry. You don’t hold anything back, do you? You always charge in guns blazing, both in battle and in love.” Genevi was smiling brightly.

“I… guess?” I responded. I never really believed in the old cliché that ‘love is a battlefield’ but I could understand the logic behind her comparison.

“You’re so bold and straightforward, even when you’re saying something harsh. I admire that a lot. I wish I could be like that.”

“Er…” It was my turn to be speechless.

“Not only that, you’re very sweet. You CARE about people, Sveta. I can’t count the number of times you dove headfirst into danger to save someone. Including me!”

“Heh. Your sister thinks that’s a character flaw of mine.” I responded, thinking back to the tongue-lashing Sabina had given me (or my Svetazilla instance) half a day ago.

“Well, I don’t. It’s no understatement to say you’ve given us all hope these past three months, Sveta. And the moment you saved me from crashing into that Defiled cruiser, I started to idolize you in a way I’d only reserved for my sister before.” Genevi’s eyes were glowing with admiration.

“That’s… a heck of a thing to say…” I responded uncertainly. Doesn’t that make me more like her surrogate sister, rather than a potential lover?

“You’re right, though. I do rush relationships. And saying you’d like to take this slow, to protect both of us, just proves how mature and experienced you are in matters of love.” Genevi was quickly transforming me into some sort of romantic saint in her mind’s eye.

“HEY NOW! Don’t read THAT much into this!” I protested. “Nobody EVER describes me as mature! I’m a huge goofball! I’m constantly making pop culture references like I’m Earnest Cline binge-writing a new novel!”

“It’s a front, isn’t it?” Genevi said, suddenly looking serious.

“…Huh?”

“You have a lot of pain underneath your silly exterior. I can tell.” Genevi responded.

“I, uh…” I was flustered by that assessment. It wasn’t entirely wrong, but not entirely right either.
“Well. It’s not so much that I’m bottling up old traumas inside, as I prefer not to dwell on the past. I’ve gone through phases before where I dwelled on things, lost loves or partners or whatever, and wound up so depressed I didn’t get out of bed for days. It’s hard to escape that sort of mire. That’s why I’m resolved to always keep moving forwards.”

Genevi nodded. “I kinda get it.”

“So it’s not a front, not really. It’s more of a choice about how I want to live my life. That’s the horrible, dark secret behind my endless dad jokes.” I folded my arms and nodded sagely.

“Hehe.” Genevi giggled again. “I guess that makes us a lot alike.”

“…because of your mom?” I said softly. I knew her mother passed away when both her and Sabina were very young.

“That, and other things. We’ve had a difficult life, my sister and me, and we’ve survived and thrived. We have no noble goal, only the vague hope to die gloriously in battle while killing as many Sarcophage as humanly possible. But regardless, we keep reaching towards that ideal.”

“I… see…” I would prefer it if neither one of them died in battle and instead lived to a peaceful old age, but I kept that thought to myself.

“Well.” Genevi clapped her gloved hands together, making a metallic clanging noise. “That’s enough serious talk for now, wouldn’t you say?” Genevi held out her hand towards my holographic video window on the cockpit’s screen, as if asking for a handshake. I mirrored the gesture, despite my inability to touch her without my Telepresence Doll.

“Yeah. I think we’ve established where we both stand well enough.” I responded, smiling. I was enjoying the rapport we were slowly building. I think I made the right decision.

“With that said… I have tomorrow off. Sveta, would you like to go on a date with me?”

“W-WHAAAAAAAAAT?!”

“A platonic date, of course. So we can get to know each other better. That’s the first step, right?” She beamed a bright smile my way, and I felt my heart flutter, just a tiny bit.

ARGH! I just can’t say no to a cute girl! DAMN IT, SVETA! YOUR WEAKNESS STRIKES AGAIN!! You’re developing a whole damn harem without meaning to!!

*****

“A date, huh?” Miette was grinning at me mischievously, and her taunting expression exacerbated my frustration. My Spider-Sveta instance had just returned from patrol and synced up memories with my Prime instance, who was presently occupying Miette's quarters in Telepresence Doll form.

“ARGH! I was supposed to be taking this SLOW!” I complained.

“You are. It’s just a simple date, between friends. Genevi might be romantically rash, but I’ve never known her to violate anyone’s boundaries. Well, so long as you don’t get her drunk.” Miette’s grin grew wider.

“Absolutely NO ALCOHOL WILL BE ALLOWED!” I responded. “Uh… you’re sure you don’t have a problem with this?”

“Nah.” Miette waved dismissively. “Wanna know why?”

My curiosity overflowed. “I do.”

“Because.” She slyly placed her forefinger in front of her lips. “I know I’ll always be your number one. I’m confident in my ability to outshine every other girl who might come your way. So why should I be jealous?”

“HURK!” Lovestruck, I reeled from the sheer lascivious onslaught of her confident smile. Taking advantage of my weakness, she sprang forwards, caught me in a tight hug, and planted her lips against mine. Then she pulled me into her cot. Smiling like a maniac and blushing from ear to ear, I loosened my body and let her set the tempo.

As for what followed, well… that’s classified information.

pynkbites

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