“No.”

“Yes.”

“Absolutely not.”

“It’s possible.”

“Never in a million years.”

“And... let’s go to a commercial break!” MC Ballyhoo yelled, before the stage lights cut out and the audience politely clapped. He turned to his two guests, oil tycoon Ratooey named Lumpy and the Mayor of Down Under Land, T. Perth. “So uh, guys... I’m going to need you two to be a little more... cheerful when we come back, okay? My shows’s a FUN time. For FUN stuff.”

Lumpy laughed. “I’m having a good time.”

1. Perth frowned. “You’re sadistic.”

“Save it for the camera,” Ballyhoo said.

In a moment, the advertisements ended and the show started back up. “Okay, guys, welcome back!” The audience let out a single “woo.” “We’re continuing our discussion between Lumpy and T. Perth right now, where they are discussing the future of the Mushroom Kingdom.”

1. Perth leaned back as a show of confidence. “And as I was saying, I believe in Princess Peach and her government is as strong and capable as ever, even despite the likes of people like you.”

“Me?” Lumpy asked. “My only defense is that I am spending a lot of time and a whole lot of money trying to give certain regions the advantages they deserve, while Princess Peach was seen taking a vacation in Isle Delfino last week, on the kingdom’s tax dollars no doubt. Down Under Land’s independence should not even be a question. I support it as do forty-six percent of your citizens.”

“We are one small island,” T. Perth said. “We don’t have the ability to sustain ourselves on the world stage. Therefore, the Mushroom Kingdom does it for us. We only have to worry about our own affairs, then.”

“So you enjoy being treated like a second-rate colony?” Lumpy asked. “When Bowsette comes back, will you be expecting the Mushroom Kingdom to aid Down Under Land against attack?”

“Well...”

“Because the Lumpy Oil Conglomerate Association, Limited would help for sure. Just like we helped the Dry Dry Republic.”

“But that was.. only so you could suck their oil reserves dry, dry!”

“My, my. Reading off the Castle-approved talking points, now, are we?”

“You’re despicable,” T. Perth growled.

“I am just a benefactor, and I support any and all secession movements that bring regions greater prosperity,” said Lumpy.

MC Ballyhoo felt the warm glow of higher ratings basking over him. His comment to tone it down only spiced it up, and that was exactly his goal.

 

---

 

“...and that was when Bowsette took out her axe and sliced the Thwomp in half!” The two Hammer Bros hatchlings chased each other around, reenacting the scene they had heard so often from the others in the village.

Bowsette... that was the common name given to the mysterious hero who had appeared and freed the Chaos Castle prison a couple months ago, but then had disappeared as quickly as she came. No-one knew who she was or where she came from, but her glimmering, spiked shell and curvaceous horns were the striking images used as symbols for her power. Bowsette was a constant source of adoration for the local villages out in the outskirts of Dark Land, where there was not much to be found but farms... and hideaway rebels.

Wendy O. Koopa wished she could be as strong as this Bowsette woman. She had wished and prayed for a moment to escape her grandfather’s shell and break out into her own, just like most of her brothers. But she had an important task to play, apparently. As the only Koopaling on the inside, she was the only one who could do exactly what she was doing right now.

She entered the hut, where an elder Koopa and two Lakitus were huddled around a small blue Podoboo.

“It’s you again...” the elder Koopa grunted.

“Yes. I wanted to meet here again to ask you an important question.”

“Anything for my favorite... daughter...” This elder was not entirely in his best state of mind these days, which struck Wendy as something sad, but his information was almost universally reliable otherwise.

“I heard somethin’ in the throne room the other day I was wonderin’ if you’d know about. You ever heard about... Dread Lords?”

The elder Koopa’s eyes went wide. “Heard of them? Everyone’s heard of them. In legend and myth, they were great dragons of darkness that brought destruction and chaos to the world for two eons. They were finally stopped, but their dark power...” The elder trailed off and didn’t finish the sentence.

“Elder Koopa?” Wendy asked.

“Oh, right... Dread Lords... their bones, daughter. Their bones are hidden throughout the world, clamoring to reunite and bring forth incredible destruction, because that is their sole purpose. If you wander into a cave on your own, and you encounter one, you will only have yourself to blame. Stay out of the wilderness, and... you’ll be safe.”

“I think my grandfather is planning on... doin’ something about the Dread Lords,” Wendy said. “Do you know how I could perhaps... stop it?”

“Grandfather... No, my grandfather’s been dead two hundred years!” the elder Koopa balked. He started chuckling. “Silly girl.”

Suddenly, several Koopatrols burst into the hut.

And... so did Dry Morton himself.

“Finally,” Morton said. “I have you in a compromising position, Wendy.”

“Um, yeah, ya do.”

“I knew there was a mole in the court. I just didn’t expect it to be you. I expected it to be one of the Monty Moles.”

“Wait, I can ex--”

Without hesitation, Morton raised a magic wand, pointed it, and blasted his granddaughter. She was turned to stone in an instant.

 

---

 

King Mallow sat at his throne and brooded, as he always did. The weather was cloudy, as usual. The castle was quiet, as it often was. And his servants tried their best to do their activities in silence, so as not to disturb him as he watched the door in front of him.

There were several scars across his face. He was not fit for marriage any longer, and so he would rule Nimbus Land with quiet power, as he was always fated to do.

He would seethe in anger and wait.

Wait until... something. He didn’t know. He didn’t make the rules.

As long as everyone was quiet and calm, he probably wouldn’t explode.

And naturally, at this moment, the castle doors slammed open and a Parakoopa came flapping in, holding a letter. “Delivery for King Mallow!” he shouted.

The Parakoopa handed him a letter and then bid his adieu. Mallow was left with a large envelope in his hands, encased with the royal seal of House Toadstool. What could this... be?

He opened it up, and what he saw brought a scowl to his face, his scars tensing up and lighting zipped out of his very being.

It was a series of photographs. Black-and-white, showing Princess Peach laughing while sitting by a fireplace in her castle. And next to her, holding hands with her, was none other than the Demon Lordess, the Molten Menace herself... Bowsette.

The Mushroom Kingdom was a sham. Princess Peach was a callous and devil of a woman. Mallow’s entire life had been ruined by that monster; she defeated him in combat, stole the precious Sonic Cymbals, and had the Mushroom Armies invade Nimbus Land, destroying his family in the process. And yet, despite all that, she was making her way back towards the throne without even the least bit resistance?

He crushed the photographs in his hands, and sparks flew out of his mouth while he growled.

Revenge was all he could think about.

 

---

 

Koopie Koo: oh my brighton are you ok

Lakilulu (<3): what

Koopie Koo: theres some koopas marching outside

Koopie Koo: if ur still at work pls stay there rn

Lakilulu: ok

Lakilulu: im at a friends house but ill wait until later

Koopie Koo: thx im just worried... petalburg was supposed to b safe

Lakilulu: :/

Koopie Koo: im gonna keep working on my paper today i guess

Lakilulu: ok be safe koopie

Koopie Koo: <3

 

Koopie Koo: where r u

Lakilulu: sorry got held up im on my way

Koopie Koo: protestors are still here

Koopie Koo: try to sneak around back

Koopie Koo: or something

Koopie Koo: brighton i hope ur ok

Koopie Koo: did ur phone die

Koopie Koo: did U die

Koopie Koo: ok ive decided im just gonna cry myself to sleep now

Koopie Koo: lulu u suck

Koopie Koo: jk ilu

Koopie Koo: lulu........

✔ Message Read 1:53 AM

 

Koopie Koo: Where are you? If you don’t tell me what’s happening I’m going to call the cops, or something. Please. I’m freaking out.

Koopie Koo: This is the last message I’ll send. I’m serious.

Lakilulu: something happened

Koopie Koo: omb omb lulu ur alright

Lakilulu: but i dont think youre going to be happy. im leaving petalburg

Koopie Koo: what the heck are you talking about

Lakilulu: i lied about last night

Lakilulu: i was at the protests. i marched with the other koopas because im tired of toads telling us what we can and cant do. its ridiculous

Koopie Koo: what

Koopie Koo: stop

Koopie Koo: dont be dumb you have work tomorrow youll be fired

Lakilulu: i dont care about work anymore. were propping up a business that supports the stuff that puts us down

Lakilulu: you may be better off bc youre a pretty koopa and even goombas probably like you. but im a lakitu and its different. you probably dont understand

Lakilulu: i love you but im going to support my friends

Koopie Koo: just come back or im gonna hate u forever

Koopie Koo: dont make me hate u forever bc ilu

Lakilulu: you might love someone who cheers you on but if you really loved me youd understand how im feeling. i dont think you do.

Koopie Koo: baby

Lakilulu: you cant call me that anymore

Koopie Koo: lulu what the heck

Koopie Koo: please come back

Koopie Koo: its too dangerous and ur going to die and ill hate u forever and ill never b able to love again augh ur the worst

Koopie Koo: ilu

Koopie Koo: I’m sorry

✔ Message Read 4:13 PM