Queenfisher

Just in case you are upset with Abihiko's behavior in this Flashback chapter -- it has already been described briefly in Chapter 13, The Kitten's Paw. So him acting the way he does here is the last time his behavior is like that before getting "officially" together with Neko, after which point -- never again ^^.

Chapter Seventy-Nine

The Lord of Nothing

Part 1 of 3

It hurt.

Everything hurt in his chest, his soul, in his mind. The fourth year in Izumo had ended, the exams had passed by, Nekohiko had become an official Spirit Wayfarer. His skills had been proven sufficient and worthy of him being able to travel his Empire on his own and helping the people with the Demonic Spirit infestations. Even Suminoe held newfound respect for him...

Yet none of that mattered.

Nekohiko could hardly drag himself up in the morning because something was missing.

Something... someone.

He had no idea being used to another person could cause actual physical discomfort. He knew he didn't feel love or attraction toward people the way everyone else seemed to be able to. But in the stories he'd read and heard, this deep, bitter ache was most frequently called love.

Which was odd.

Could one not feel pain at being left behind by one's best friend? Without wanting to ever kiss that friend, or without wanting to ever be intimate with him either? Did it have to be love? To be attraction? To be obsession?

Could he not need Abihiko in his life simply -- because? Without any real reason to it?

He preferred to not give these feelings any label or any name for the fear of mistaking them for something else. He just knew it hurt.

And that it hurt so much more because for the last several days in School before the pupils could leave and go back to their families during the short summer break -- he and Abihiko had to share Izumo between them. While being forcedly apart.

The days were balmy, fresh with the starting cicada burr in the trees, waving in the curling air if the weather was blazing hot. The wind swept through the arches and wooden galleries, ringing chimes and sending petal blossoms into people's faces, tugging their hair with the gusts.

So much merriment all around. Because the year ended so bombastically with the volcano eruption during the exam, the pupils who had passed it now felt especially invulnerable and courageous. Which resulted in an increase of swagger all across the Fourth-year population.

For example, the stupid boy Koki now flaunted his new girlfriend among one of the Hisome girls in Nekohiko's old dorm. Some of the other boys and girls also became enamored with the opposite sex, snogging and squeezing each other in every other corner and being so obnoxiously loud in their displays of affection and so vulgarly suggestive in their attempts to flirt or harass each other.

Nekohiko got his share from most boys, too. Perhaps because Abihiko was ostensibly distant with him, Nekohiko now looked like a perfect candidate for the young, brash boys' desires to embarrass him.

"Hey, Kitten, would you like to give me a hand?" one of the boys in their year said, wiggling his eyebrows at Nekohiko in the most disturbing way ever. "You know which hand and for what, right?"

"I like when the girls are flat-chested, actually," the other told him, cornering Nekohiko behind one of the classrooms where Nekohiko was busy watering his onion garden patch. "Makes it more adorable when you undress because you're so shy about them..."

"Come on, now you show me yours!" another whispered at Nekohiko creepily after flashing his own junk at him after class in the empty classroom. The boy blushed after a few seconds passed and Nekohiko did nothing but stare at him impassively and disinterestedly. "Stop looking at me like that, Kitten. You look like you're mentally-retarded."

Gods...

But, to be honest, many people told him his way of staring at them with his huge, dull eyes was freaking them out. Which was good. He did it on purpose, just to get rid of them.

And soon, they must have realized that they would never get any other reactions out of him, so they pissed off. Nekohiko breathed a bit calmer, but then his ache at being away from Abihiko came back.

Because Abihiko had passed his separate exam in those days and now came back to School. And now was walking the same galleries and sat in the same classes and even met Nekohiko in their same courtyards at times.

Abihiko had gone back to his awful dorm friends, saying rude and annoying things as though trying to one-up each other with bad language and badder attitudes. They marched down the hallways, shoving people away and constantly picking fights inside their own group. Every one of whom, of course, Abihiko had to dominate, thus making the other boys cranky after a while.

Thus, Abihiko soon gravitated to the boys in other classes and older years who wouldn't mind dating him.

And that was somehow the worst of it.

Before, when Abihiko and Nekohiko had been friendly to each other, Abihiko hadn't bothered to make many boyfriends at School because Nekohiko mocked him too much for that.

But now...

Sometimes Nekohiko wondered if Abihiko did it on purpose or not.

Made out with some stupid Fifth-year in the canteen during the breakfast or paraded the fact of sleeping in the room of one of the Sixth-years the other evening. Or --

This.

Perplexed, Nekohiko didn't realize at first what were those sounds in the room next to his down the hallway. He was too busy reading about state infrastructure in his room since the day was rainy and there was nothing much to do other than educate himself on ruling his Empire well. But then...

...behind the wall.

Abihiko's voice.

Nekohiko couldn't hear the exact words, but he could hear the intonation and the overall mood of what was being said.

Too bad nothing was being said in that room behind the wall and instead, something else was taking place.

Ah, this was so... cruel.

So... pathetic! Seriously? Fucking right in the next room as him?

Nekohiko flashed hot with frustration when he noticed tears spattering across the pages of his book. Slowly, he wiped his eyes, yet the tears kept coming.

More and more of them, out of nowhere, it seemed. He put his hands over his ears, casting a muffling spell to shut off the noise. Then tried to focus on reading on, but...

He couldn't. Even being unable to hear it, he could imagine.

He didn't know what he imagined because he had never spent time reading or educating himself about sex, but just the mere idea was enough.

Gods, this hurt so much...

He didn't know how -- because he almost blanked out of it, but he found himself in front of Suminoe's office doors. Knocking on them, hoping Suminoe would be inside.

That he would... help him, somehow. That he would stop all this terrible pain or at least numb it down.

"Your Holiness? I hope you aren't too busy?" Nekohiko asked the door, timid.

But surprise, surprise! Suminoe was busy rubbing Ashflake's tummy as the Fox Spirit rolled on the floor before him with all its legs in the air. The nine tails swished here and there, half-phasing through Suminoe, half-materialized so that a couple of tails smacked His Holiness over the head at times.

Suminoe was reading a gemstone scroll at the same time, only petting Ashflake with his other hand. Thus, neither of the two noticed that Nekohiko came in and sat beside them, patiently waiting till anyone would pay him attention.

The drizzle of rain was still misty and chilly on Nekohiko's bangs and clothes, on his eyelashes. Or maybe those were tears, who knew?

He sat beside the window, watching the camellia branches outside sway gently with the pitter-patter of raindrops that beaded at the tender flowers like crystalline pearls. From afar, the laughter and shrieking of girls as they ran under the rain filled the galleries, driving further the point of how lonely and... unbelonging Nekohiko was.

This had never bothered him before.

Because though he was lonely and content with that, he'd also had Abihiko. Perhaps not with him all the time, perhaps not even close. But he'd had him.

Now he had no clue what to do with himself. How could he have allowed himself to come to this? To become so attached to somebody their absence now caused him physical pain?

"You seem upset," Suminoe said eventually.

"My room is noisy, and I need to study somewhere," Nekohiko said, belatedly discovering that he was sitting here with his hands empty. He'd forgotten to bring his books with him, hadn't he?

Had he just sat here for half an hour simply staring out the window at the rain?

Spirits...

"--or to rest," Nekohiko finished with a delay. "I can't do either in my room."

"I'm afraid you can't do either in my office, too," Suminoe noted politely. "I am studying and working here. And obviously this place is not made for anyone's rest."

Studying? Working?

Ashflake only just stopped rolling every which way around the room, phasing into Nekohiko with its furry Spiritual butt and giving Nekohiko a stern look before nuzzling him in the face with its warm, yet spectral tongue.

"I see," Nekohiko said.

"But if you need a quiet place to read or to sleep in, I have one," Suminoe added, getting to his feet in one sinuous, elegant motion. He swished his sleeves, urging Nekohiko. "My bedroom."

...ah well.

Nekohiko could not give a damn about anything today, really. Even the Head Priest's mysterious bedroom chambers did not impress him, and he'd not even known Suminoe had a place to sleep in! He merely followed him through the hallways of the administrative building, down a short yet twisty covered wooden gallery -- and into the adjacent building where the bureaucratic archives were. In one of the farthest corridors, Suminoe stopped and shooed Ashflake away when the Spirit Fox tried to poke its head inside.

"I actually do not require sleep that much," Suminoe said matter-of-factly. "Good, solid meditation can spare one the need, so this place seldom sees me inside."

He crossed the small room with the tidiest, most pristine bedspread in its center that Nekohiko had ever seen. It looked as though it had never been used. And smelled accordingly.

Suminoe noted the old, papery dust scent of the room as well. His nose twitched, and he grimaced, reaching for the window screen to put it aside and let some rainy-day diffuse light into the room.

"It's so dusty, besides," he said, monotone. "It makes me sneeze."

Nekohiko loomed beside Suminoe, watching with him the outside from within the room. Another stretch of a darkly-leafed garden.

Another branch of camellia gently swaying across the window from the outside. Another calm, transcendent view that evoked melancholy and contemplation.

"Mn," Nekohiko replied, only slightly curious as to what a sneezing Suminoe would even look like.

It must be a rare, peculiar sight.

But Suminoe did not intend to sneeze any time soon, it seemed. He turned, regarding the room with a critical gaze. "You may stay and rest. There are no books in here, but there are some archive ledgers on the shelves on the next room."

Oh? That was actually wonderful. Nekohiko was in the mood for reading something of the archival sort. Maybe that would help him.

Maybe that would distract him from hating the entire world.

"He still doesn't speak to you," Suminoe suddenly said. Not even asking, just stating.

"He does not," Nekohiko said, transfixed on the swaying camellia. Suminoe shuffled feet, turning to walk away, and all at once, Nekohiko could not bear to be left alone anymore. "I don't know what to do. I don't know where to go and why... My Spirit Wayfaring days will come after this summer break, and I... I have no clue what I will be doing then."

All of his Wayfaring plans had been made with two people in mind, him and Abihiko. Not for one.

He hadn't ever planned Spirit Wayfaring for just one person. Never had even imagined he would need to.

"Please, tell me?" He swung around to Suminoe, anguished.

Suminoe still went to the door but not to leave. Steadily and carefully, he pulled it closed, then walked back to the window, stopping beside Nekohiko.

"Hmmm," he said.

A long pause stretched between them, then at last, Suminoe added, "Perhaps it is time you and I went traveling to visit all the Great Lords and got acquainted with them personally."

"All right," Nekohiko said, emotionless. "Do I need to prepare anything specific to learn about them or--"

"It's the end of the Fourth Year. You probably have learned everything a Binder should about the Four main Great Lords, yes?"

Huh. Technically, yes. But beyond that...

He'd learned the spells, the formulas and equations, the incantations if needed, the classification of each Great Lord's Spirits and their domains and how to pray and access each of them.

In short, Nagare -- aggression, lightning, flight. Based in emotions.

Hisome -- illusions, beauty, protections. Based in fiction.

Towa -- ice, water, reflections. Based in indifference.

Hira -- fire, strength, rocks. Based in reality.

Not much to learn beyond this, even after all the additional knowledge and lore about each of the Houses. Of course, Kumikata and Shirogane, the general Binding teachers, would tell them all about the ideology of each House and what "science" went into the contradictions between the Houses and Great Lords.

Like that these four Houses formed a square of powers -- Nagare placed in opposition to Towa on their axis of high emotions and the lack of any. Hira -- in opposition to Hisome on their axis of what's real and what's imaginary. None of them better than the other, but all working in perfect cohesion to hold the Empire together.

Frankly, Nekohiko did not know what he could learn about any of these Houses by now.

But the thing was -- there were not Four Great Houses, but Five. Yet oddly, almost none of the teachers mentioned the Fifth Great House -- Utsuro, in their lessons.

As though House Utsuro didn't exist or wasn't needed to help keep the Empire together. Now, this was something Nekohiko was interested in learning more about.

He cast his gaze at Suminoe. "Lord Sakai, of House Utsuro -- what can you tell me about him or his method? I know almost nothing about Utsuro spells or magic. Other than it's Splitting, not Binding. But even that -- is too vague to understand well."

"Utsuro magic is void, simply put. The opposite of Binding."

Well. That, Nekohiko had kind of figured out by himself.

"Does it not have its own philosophy at its core? Where do they channel their powers from?" he asked, shy with hope.

Peacefully, Suminoe sighed, then slowly walked to the bed to kneel on it. His hand patted the spot on the bed beside him. "I once taught you the philosophies of the two Houses -- Nagare and Hisome. Do you remember them?"

"Mn. It's selfishness," Nekohiko replied, proud that Suminoe seemed so pleased with him. He sat down beside him, pushing his knees to his chest and hugging them. "The Nagare derive their power from the selfishness of 'I want!' and 'I demand!'. It's emotional and blinding."

Suminoe nodded him on.

"While Hisome derive their power from the selfishness of 'I am wronged!' and 'I deserve!' when someone else misunderstands and attacks them. It's self-righteous, like a bubble of one's ego that can never be penetrated." Nekohiko frowned, gathering his thoughts. He'd thought about Hisome method a lot, actually, but only because he still didn't understand it very well. "I guess it's kind of bitter and resentful, too. Is it?"

"Yes. A true Hisome claims there is no right or wrong, left or right, dark or light, west or east. Hisomes are flexible, used to the world where nothing is certain. Everything is relative, so when one dares to claim something isn't and attacks a Hisome based on their mistaken assumption -- the Hisome strikes back in righteousness. But also -- selfishly and without any mercy. I haven't taught you what the core of Towa method is, though, haven't I?"

Nekohiko had a very clear hunch.

"It's selfishness, too. Right?"

The edges of Suminoe's eyes crinkled up in subdued mirth. "Yes. How wise you are, Nekohiko. The Towa method's philosophy is 'I don't care'. Or, in a much more succinct way that most people say this: 'I don't give a... damn'."

...

For some reason, Nekohiko could almost hear that Suminoe had wanted to say "I don't give a shit!" But held himself back to at least some level of common courtesy. Not that saying "damn" was all that courteous of him, either!

Nekohiko gaped at the pristine, polite, ever-so-perfect Head Priest, speechless.

That entertained Suminoe quite a bit. "It is a very good description of what Towas use to channel their magic. They don't care about anyone other than their calm. The Towa powers are rooted in apathy, inertia, tranquility, peace, and indifference.  They are the direct opposites of Nagare, which is the sole reason these two Houses fight so often."

Oh, it did make sense.

But also... not. Because they both were driven by intense selfishness, and yet were so drastically different?

"And Hiras are the direct opposites of Hisome," Nekohiko went on, livening up. "And the Hira selfishness is all about--?"

Suminoe looked at the window, suddenly cold. "Hiras are judgmental. Opinionated. And very rigid. Unlike Hisomes who claim that everything is relative and subject to interpretation, Hiras set their foot down. Hard. They choose what is right and what is wrong, then judge everyone according to their arbitrary rules. Hira selfishness is 'I believe!', 'I judge!', 'I define'. And of course they would die to prove themselves right to anyone else. Do you know a common saying 'Would break before it bends'? That's about Hiras. If they set their heart to something or believe in something or fall in love -- it's forever. They would rather die than betray their beliefs."

The words echoed in Nekohiko's mind, again and again:

If Hiras fall in love -- it's forever.

Was Abihiko not a Hira? It was so odd that Abihiko had never fallen in love with somebody. Loyally. Devotedly. Forever.

Even nowadays, Abihiko changed his boyfriends like he did his hobbies. Daily and without regard. Perhaps he wasn't a true Hira, after all.

Plus, Nekohiko was suddenly amused by the level of dismissiveness in Suminoe's tone once they talked about Hiras.

Nekohiko watched, mesmerized, only now realizing that Suminoe could not change the fact that, deep inside, he was still a Hisome and therefore disagreed with the Hira method by his very nature.

Suminoe dropped his gaze, speaking.

"The Hira Lords aren't the only ones in opposition to my nature. I am not only a Hisome at heart, but also the Head Priest of Izumo. My power, like yours, the Emperor's -- is drawn from selflessness." He cast a glance at Nekohiko, wary. "I hope you won't take it as a positive thing or a compliment compared to the selfishness methods of the Great Lords. You and I are selfless in a way that defies us having human emotions and goals. We have to let Spirits and the Land and the Empire speak through us. We are not allowed to have selves. That is what I mean when I say -- selflessness.

"Thus, when we look at the last of the Great Lords -- the Lord of Utsuro, you will see, Nekohiko, that he is yours and my ultimate opposite. Almost like a nemesis. Which you already see in Splitting being the natural opposite of Binding."

...

Nekohiko balked, unsure.

"Do you know why the Lords of Utsuro are called the Lords of the Wasteland?" Suminoe asked him lightly. "By their power that rivaled that of the Emperor and thus could easily overthrow him, the Utsuro Lords have to be taken under heavy restrictions. One of such restrictions was that they aren't allowed to have anything of their own.

"Not their land, not their title since the actual rulers of Utsuro Lordship are the Imperial bureaucrats instead. Not their home, not their name. Or a family, children, the ability to procreate or to call anyone their friend or foe. The Utsuro Lords are allowed to have nothing because that was exactly what they draw their powers from:

"From the void, from nothingness, from death and decay," Suminoe said, sounding ill as though hating every last bit of this knowledge.

"Even their presence can warp space around them and invoke a withering effect. So, even if the Lords of Utsuro and their powers of Splitting were equals of the Imperial Fusion -- they wouldn't be able to rule the Empire even if they wanted. Under the Utsuro reign, the Empire would likely come to ruin whether they liked it or not."

...

Oh.

Nekohiko frowned, also feeling ill with the idea.

"Then why even have them in our Empire?" he blurted before he could even stop himself.

"It still doesn't change the fact that the Utsuro Lords are a vital part of what makes our Land and Spirits great, Nekohiko. Death and decay are a part of the balance of existence, too. Thus, the Utsuro power is the backbone that benefits and strengthens all the other Lords and powers, including yours and mine.

"But that doesn't make the Lords of Utsuro happy, as you can imagine. Their duty is more of a curse than strength, and one that is enforced on them by you, the Emperor. And by me, the Head Priest. Naturally, no Lord of Utsuro likes either the Head Priest or the Emperor. Only the most reliable and reserved people are allowed to have the Utsuro power. Especially with what they draw their powers from."

Nekohiko realized his breathing had gone shallow and forced as he listened.

He had never felt so uncomfortable and... threatened when talking about the Imperial magic before.

"Now we come to the ultimate usage of selfishness in magical powers," Suminoe went on, growing sullen. "The Utsuro one."

He gave Nekohiko a side glance full of pain, then murmured, "The Utsuro ideology is 'If not me, then -- nothing', Nekohiko. Remember that."

Uh?

Nekohiko squinted, uncertain what this meant. But Suminoe already patted the pillow on his bed whole getting back to his feet. "You can rest in my bed if you want. I don't use it either. The Utsuro magic and purpose in the Empire will become apparent to you once you meet Sakai in person. His powers are better perceived in a demonstration rather than talking."

As Suminoe passed him by, a faint aroma of his flower-scented clothes swishing past Nekohiko's face, Nekohiko pondered that through.

His mind had managed to distract itself from the constant thoughts of Abihiko. At last.

Even thinking of the sinister Utsuro Lords seemed a much healthier topic for him now. 

"Mn," he told Suminoe right before the man left him.

After all, it was easy to agree to: meeting the remaining Great Lords he hadn't met yet. Takarashi, Morokata's mother. Hinokuma, Iokirihime's sister. And Sakai.

Suminoe had told him many times how their imminent campaign to have Nekohiko ascend to the Emerald Throne by replacing the Usurper -- depended on the Great Lords' favor and support. Nothing Nekohiko would do without them.

Well. It sounded like a solid plan for this summer. Not like he had anything better to do.

That said, he had to survive the next few days before the School year ended. And with all the boys harassing him and all the times it hurt him to see Abihiko outside...

Ugh.

He fell onto the pillow, curling in as though to hug himself against the chill.

What a shitty few days these would be.

***

He slept in Suminoe's room most of the time, so he was spared bumping into Abihiko in the galleries or seeing him coming back from the Izumo town after he and his goon friends had become drunk in one of the taverns again. Only occasionally would Nekohiko still get a glimpse of Abihiko laughing and bantering with others in their tipsy, lighthearted mood after a few drinks.

If at first after the exam, he had still tried to catch Abihiko in some corner and have a mature conversation with him -- to apologize, to explain himself -- then by now he had conceded it was useless to even try.

Abihiko gave him sly smirks and the same sleazy comments every other boy did recently, and Nekohiko was out of patience with that kind of behavior. He understood that Abihiko wanted to punish him, but he didn't know for what.

For lying?

For telling the truth?

Either way, not something he could fix. So he avoided Abihiko instead.

It was easy to do because Nekohiko was, after all, posing as a girl in Izumo while Abihiko was solely revolving in the boys' circles. Plus, Nekohiko only ever went to take baths alone, and had his own bedroom. And recently, had the second bedroom he could go to if he suspected Abihiko would hang around his usual dorm.

That was why he was so shocked to one day bump into Abihiko with no real way to flee or to pretend he didn't notice him there.

In the hot spring bathing rooms.

Right after Nekohiko had taken his dip, rubbed himself dry, dressed up into his nightclothes and had left the hot springs building to go back to Suminoe's room and have his sleep there.

But in the doors of the archival building, it hit him that he'd forgotten his History of Binding Criminal Investigation in Towa and Hira Lordships in the bathing room! He loved to read even while soaking in the hot water since both activities were so meditative and improved his appreciation of his beloved Empire. But he'd hurried to go out so much! Why?  He had heard Abihiko's obnoxious voice blaring somewhere close to the hot springs as he and one of his most recent friends stumbled through the galleries to take a bath together. Their voices had obviously sounded very drunk, and Nekohiko had wished nothing to do with that mess.

So he had fled.

But now it turned out he'd left his book behind?

On tiptoe, he entered the bathhouse halls, recoiling from every student and teacher who came out of the rooms half-dressed and still wet. People gasped and threw him mean looks because he spooked them, but he didn't care.

He was here to retrieve his book. Without being noticed by Abihiko. Hopefully.

But then--

"What are you reading this for?" a familiar voice of one of the young male teachers purred from the bathing room in which Nekohiko had previously been.

Nekohiko's heart went cold.

Teacher Oiratsuko...? He was youthful, in his mid-twenties, teaching the Sixth-years on the advanced Imperial Fusion. Probably attractive, judging by how young women reacted to him. But at the same time...

A teacher...

"Relax, this is not a class, Abiko," the teacher kept going, coy. "And if it were, I wouldn't make you read a book to get a good grade, hmmm."

"Tch."

The sound of someone's hand slapping something aside. A splash of water followed it.

"Oww!" Oiratsuko growled in pretend-anger. "You do know I can officially punish misbehaving students with a lashing by a switch, right?"

Instead of an answer, Nekohiko heard a rustle of a page, then another one.

"Teacher, your profession-based flirting is becoming stale," Abihiko told him with a sigh. "Even a book on --" he hesitated, clearly going back to the cover to read the title "-- History of Binding Criminal Investigation in Towa and Hira Lordships is becoming more interesting in comparison."

Nekohiko almost shook with frustration.

They were making fun of his book? Of course they were. But... why? What did the book ever do wrong to them?

Oiratsuko laughed with full abandon. "What? Ah Holy Demons, who even reads this shit -- and while taking a bath? Give me that."

"No," Abihiko cut. "And I read this shit. Sounds direly interesting to me, actually."

"Aaaargh, come on!" And after a quick bout of splashing and snorting, Nekohiko heard the distinct sound of a book dropping to the floor away from the bathing pool.

Then, the sounds of... struggling? Nekohiko didn't care much -- and couldn't endure the idea of anything else, so he decided it was struggling.

The door slid just a bit to let him in. In the flower-scented vapor mist that hung over the room like a gentle veil, he had a hard time seeing. The wooden screen hid most of the bathing pool from him, the shelves to the side exposed the familiar teacher clothes of Oiratsuko's and the bright-orange robes Abihiko usually wore. And then, there was the fat tome of History of Binding Criminal Investigations right next to the pool's edge.

Nekohiko shut his hearing with sheer will and scrambled toward his book. Just grab it, and he'll be out.

He knelt before it, his hand reaching for the leather cover when--

The hot water sprayed him in the face as somebody dashed over the pool's edge and out. Startled, Nekohiko squeezed his eyes shut and groped for his book blindly.

But it was no longer there.

Instead, his fingers brushed against someone's wet toes where the book had just been.

Nekohiko raised his eyes at Abihiko who had burst out of the pool and had kicked the book just a few inches away from Nekohiko. Slowly, Abihiko descended to Nekohiko's level as well, squatting before him, head tilted to the side in vivid bafflement.

Nekohiko was afraid to breathe.

"Looking for something?" Abihiko asked him, menace in his voice.

"Hey!" Oiratsuko made a ruckus in the water, wading to the pool's edge as well. His face, full of righteous rage, looked especially ridiculous because he had to rip what looked like a blindfold off his eyes to properly glare at Nekohiko. "Watch it, you! This bathing room is occupied!"

Water droplets trickled down from Abihiko's body onto Nekohiko's hand on the floor. Belatedly, Nekohiko saw that Abihiko sat before him naked -- with the only item of clothing in his ponytail. His usual flaming-red ribbon.

Nekohiko yanked his hand back, very much mortified. Yet Abihiko followed his actions with seeming boredom, from beneath half-lidded eyes. His pale skin was flushed from the alcohol and the heated bath but other than that -- no reaction to Nekohiko being so close to him.

Rather, Abihiko's disengaged gaze made Nekohiko feel hated. Loathed. Disliked...

And that hurt, too.

He was just here for his book. He hadn't done anything. Why would Abihiko be so mean to him...?

"M-my book," Nekohiko said miserably, eyes turning aside to give Abihiko privacy.

"Sure." Abihiko ignored teacher Oiratsuko's further grumblings about Nekohiko's presence and reached to get the book for Nekohiko. Holding it dismissively, like some kind of garbage, he proffered it to Nekohiko.

"Thank you."

Nekohiko wanted to take it, but when he tried -- Abihiko did not let it go.

Confused, Nekohiko tugged again. Yet Abihiko held it firmly enough that no matter what Nekohiko did, unless he ripped it out of Abihiko's hand, it wouldn't amount to anything.

And then, the corner of Abihiko's lips quirked up in the most outrageously nasty smirk Nekohiko had ever seen.

This was bullying, plain and simple!

And of course Abihiko was very proficient in this. He was a bully at heart. Always had been, always would be. No doubt he would love to know how many betrayed feelings this situation stirred in Nekohiko's heart.

"Let go," Nekohiko whispered, growing angry. "What did I ever do to you? Why are you so mean to me?"

Abihiko's eyebrows shot up in an amused mien, perfectly played. "Mean to you? How am I mean to you? We're just playing. Isn't this what best friends are supposed to do every once in a while?"

"I... don't know!" Nekohiko snapped. "I tried to come over to you for weeks and you ignored me! I get it that you're pissed at me for lying--"

Abruptly, Abihiko's eyes turned to slits. "Is that what you think I'm mad at you about?" he asked, his tone like ice.

"Or for telling the truth--" Nekohiko fumbled on.

Abihiko's face darkened. "Is that what you think I'm mad about?"

...

Nekohiko froze, shocked with disbelief.

Erm... but what else was there? He didn't understand. But for some reason, his bewilderment only made Abihiko angrier. His nostrils flared, and with a rude motion, he let the book go, shoving it and Nekohiko backward.

"Get your book and leave," he threw at him, standing up to go back to the pool.

Teacher Oiratsuko had long stopped speaking, only gawking at them from over his spot, face in deep thought.

Nekohiko grabbed his stupid tome and hurried to the door, not knowing how it was possible that he felt even worse now than he had felt all the previous days combined. He hadn't thought it was possible.

He glanced at Abihiko as apologetically as he could. "Thank you--"

"Piss OFF." Abihiko slammed the doors shut in front of Nekohiko's nose with a magic spell.

...

Nekohiko stood before the door for a while, unable to move. But he had to. People were strolling past him and life wasn't stopping either to let him blank out and try to understand something that confused him so.

Decisively, he turned away and went down to the administrative wing of the School. He didn't go to Suminoe's bedroom. He went to Suminoe's office.

Again.

Just to be with someone else. Someone who could still tolerate him and not make him feel like such an utter waste of breathable air.

Suminoe only threw at him a single glance before he let out a sigh full of surrender.

Again.

"Come on in, Nekohiko," he told him softly.

Queenfisher

I know I can be annoying fleeting around here, haunting the notes with my confused Author noises, but just wanted to make sure people don't misunderstand Suminoe's and Neko's relationship.

They are both very innocent in this regard. They bond over their love for the Empire, and nothing else, like I told you before ^^. Also, they're both asexual and there's a huge age gap between them, so it's just not in the cards no matter how one looks at them!