Chapter 1: Summoning 101
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---D-Day---

*drip* *drip*

"Ahhnnn..."

Sometimes? It's good, you know, to reflect. Take a step back. Smell the roses, so to speak.

*shudder*

"Unnngh..."

From the isekai I recall, the abductors perform their dastardly deed using a glowing circle full of arcane symbols only a chuuni could love. Sometimes the entire body is brought over. Sometimes just the “spirit.” Unless, of course, the almighty Truck-kun is involved.

*squirm*

"Un... Stop... No... Hurts..."

The ones physically brought over remain the same age or get younger. Whichever strokes that summoner's particular fetish. For the ones astrally stolen? Their lives might start all over as babies. Maybe keeping their past-life memories, getting them back later, or even losing them completely until some “accident” restores them.

*rattle*

"For... giv... Please..."

If the kidnapped soul is not starting over? Then there will be a “vessel” waiting for it. In my case? They “just” stole my soul.

I think.

"So... ry... Plea... Fo... give... Me..."

Ritual summoning, instead of divine meddling or cosmic coincidence, can be a pretty involved affair. According to miss complains-a-lot here. This ceremony was extremely expensive and very difficult. Taking weeks to prepare and days to cast.

*slich*

"Ah... You’re... Hur... ting..."

Now, if “something” interferes with the ritual? Does all that effort go to waste? Well, in this case?

No.

Huh? What was my summoning like?

Uh, pretty bland I guess.

Just suddenly found myself in an all white empty square room with some angel looking bitch blathering away. There was no accident, no murder, nor suicide scene. No robbery, bullying, or netorare scenario.

At least not that I can remember.

Was a typical night. Had dinner. Watched some TV. Put the kids to bed. Watched more TV. Put the wife to bed. Surfed the internet. Mastur-uh, I mean, pondered the meaning of life. Then I put myself to bed.

Next thing I knew? White room. Holy whore. Feathery wings, white and gold robes, etc... Even had blonde hair and big tits. But this divine skank wasn't even looking at me. Just yakking away while reading some old looking unrolled scroll in her hands

Called for a higher purpose? Never see my family again? Brave sacrifice? A world needs me? Demon king?! What the fuck!?!

*slump*

"Oh? Decided to pass out again? Pee-yew. There go your bowels too. Again. Tsk, tsk. You’re just making it harder on yourself, you know.” Grab an arm of the bloody corpse-to-be and prop her back up against some rubble. “Come on whiny. Let's patch you up. You haven't even paid down the interest on your debt yet."

This setup was all just a crazy, must have ate old leftovers for my midnight snack, dream until…

!

Angel tits said my son's name.

Suddenly it hits me. Like a bolt out of the fucking blue.

This is the intro to one of those damn isekai stories. These fucks tried to take my son!

But, somehow, they screwed up and swiped me instead. I must have forgotten to include swiper no swiping during my not-so-nightly prayers.

Wait. What happens when she figures it out? Will they go after him again? My god. To wake up and have our child just… gone. It will kill my wife. Shit, it will kill me. We’ll never be the same.

What should I do? What can I do? Maybe we can talk it out? Will angel tits leave us alone? No. If talking mattered they wouldn’t have tried kidnapping my son in the middle of the night.

These are not good people. No matter how big her cup size is.

Gotta take her down. Grab the initiative. Best defense is a good offense. Damn the torpedoes. Ramming speed.

Have I ever punched a woman before? Don’t think so. Not even sure if I can. Well, it's now or never. French fries, motherfucker.

*POW*

Turns out? I can.

"[Touch of Menerva]"

While outside the flashback, language is heard that's unlike anything spoken back home. Even at comic-con. The strange words rolling off my tongue. Drawing energy out of my body into what’s gotta be a small spinning magic circle floating in front of me.

*CRUNCH*

So the punch to the face just pissed feather brain off. But the kick to the crotch? Did wonders.

Huh. That can’t be right. Is she a trap? Whatever, anything that seemed to hurt? I did more of it. Honestly, I had no idea angels were so vulnerable to indian burns.

*wrestlemania*

After the weirdest tussle I’ve ever had, including that night in Panama, and a whole lot of feathers flying. She, or maybe he, finally begged for mercy. Eventually, the divine douche and I reached an “agreement.”

  1. She, or he, would never fuck with my family again.
  2. She, probably not he, would never help others fuck with my family again.
  3. She, that is a deep voice though, would give me three cheat powers of my choosing.

Yeah, I let her go. Because I wasn't sure if she even could, technically, “die.” At least by my hands. Learned in middle school how dangerous indian burns could be. But never heard of them being lethal.

Besides, angel tits claimed she was only the “middleman.” Wait, middleman? Hmm…

*dicaprio squint*

She, possibly he, said that the douchebags aiming for my son? Are actually on the other side. It's the one performing the ritual that sets the target. And this one has my son in its crosshairs.

Well, clearly, they gots to die.

According to her/him, even if I somehow made this summoning fail? They could just try again and it might go through a different angel next time. So, with a fond-less farewell. Plus ice packs on her arms and, suspiciously, crotch. The divine ditz sent me on my way.

*vmm*

"No. P-please. Let-t me d-die."

Now, I gotta admit. This whole magic thing is pretty freaky. Watch all the holes I've put in her, again, heal a thousand times faster than they should. Even her pale color from blood loss returns to normal.

This spell must be spurring blood production on top of stitching her flesh back together. Not recovering the blood though. Since the quarts of blood she's lost are still pooled on the floor, mixed in with her piss and shit.

Hard to believe that, per the whimpering whiner here, Earth has magic too. Magic’s fuel, mana, is just so “thin” back home that no one notices it. Makes spells a lot weaker and harder to cast there. This also makes it much easier to grab someone from my world. Less resistance from the local mana.

Conversely, a mana thin world causes its inhabitants to grow large mana reservoirs. Where we store the mana that’s naturally absorbed from the environment.

So what happens when a mana thin worlder is brought to a mana thick world? Our bodies get supercharged. Sort of. We become faster and stronger than most locals. Can cast more spells. Cast bigger spells.

Basically a built-in cheat mode. Of course the kidnappies have no idea how to use all this mana they suddenly have. But with enough time and training? You turn into a fucking superhero.

At least that's what miss complains-a-lot says. So I guess Earthlings on Ipra, that’s this world’s name, are kind of like Kyptonians on Earth?

*shiver*

"No, no, no, no..."

Granted, this elf didn't have much fight in her to begin with. But now all she can manage is to mumble and stare in horror at the blood and gore covered blade as it gets closer and closer to her.

Deep blue eyes quiver and shed tears down an already remarkably filthy face. Doesn't even try to move from the rubble she’s propped up against. I find her exhausted terror almost cleansing. Cathartic.

This time, let's start on her arm. What was the last question I asked? Gently press the edge down on her wrist until the skin pops and splits. Inch the tip up towards her elbow.

*rip*

I'm already used to the resistance from flesh that doesn't want to give. Slowly exposing the muscle and bone within.

"Unnngh..."

Suffer, bitch.

I've got pounds of flesh to collect before I finally let you die.


Angelles, Avalina Faphyri (female, elf-human, tourinese)

  • "Miss complains-a-lot, Whimpering whiner, Whiny"
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