Clair climbed up the stairs to the second story of the Faerie's Folly, the commotion of the floor below becoming a dull din in the background. The hall was barely lit, but against the window on the opposite end stood Harlowe. Her eyes smoldered like embers. 

Clair walked toward her. "You wanted to show me something."

Harlowe turned and opened the door to her right. "The innkeeper just told me to 't-take whichever one I wanted'." She laughed and stepped inside. A moment later she poked her head back out, her hair spilling out of her cowl. "You going to join me?"

Clair's dark mood managed to suppress the feelings of giddiness that began to bloom in her. "Yeah, just a moment." She walked forward mechanically. It seems the prayer doesn't need to be fully intoned to have some effect. 

She entered the room, the lightstone embedded in the ceiling was dim. Harlowe sat on the edge of the bed. On closer inspection she was more putting her artificial legs into the position of sitting, it didn't seem like any of her weight was on the bed. The broadness of the clawed feet seemed to stabilize her.

"You gonna keep looking at my legs or take a seat." Harlowe pat the bed next to her right side. "Well, come on." She looked at Clair expectantly.

Her lips curled into a smile. "Sure." 

She took a seat next to Harlowe, making the bed creak. Harlowe removed her cloak, letting it fall back onto the bed. The dim light of the room caught on the fresh metal that had been revealed from wear and tear on her mechanical parts. Clair's eyes fixed on the exposed steel. Harlowe pulled her pack up onto the bed.

She pulled the trio of needles back out and handed them to Clair. "You saw how it was back at the table. I can't exactly put them back in myself, at least not easily." Harlowe held her right fist up and the slots for the needles opened up.

Clair took the first of the three and put it near the hole between Harlowe's index and middle finger. "So, I just jam it in?" She could feel faint warmth on her cheeks.

Harlowe nodded. "Yeah, the clamps inside should pull it in." Clair pressed the thin spike of metal into her hand until it clicked. "Mh. There, good." The needle spun ninety degrees and was pulled back inside Harlowe's fist.

Clair took another spike and lined it up with the next slit. "I saw what these did earlier." Click. "I think I've seen a similar spell before." The needle turned nearly a hundred-eighty degrees then returned to the inside of her hand.

Harlowe sighed, maintenance wasn't normally such an experience for her. It was usually very mechanical and oftentimes frustrating, her fingers unable to do what she needed then to. Clair pressed the last needle into her hand, which accepted it and returned it to its neutral position in its housing. 

"I think it was 'Aeranthir's Arcane… something', can't remember the rest of the name," said Clair.

"Artillery, 'Aeranthir's Arcane Artillery'. It normally makes its darts from pure aether." Harlowe flexed her hand. "I thought you said you didn't know spells?"

Clair pouted. "I said I wasn't good at identifying them, not that I don't know any."

Harlowe smirked beneath her mask. "You're cute."

Clair froze. That did it, any amount of power the prayer had melted away. She buried her head in her hands and tried to hide a squeal. Someone called me cute. I never got to be cute. I… Her breathing became shallow and quick.

Harlowe shook her gently. "Uh, too much?" Her brows knit together.

Clair forced her breathing to slow and looked up. "No, not too much." Who am I kidding? It was way too much. "See? I'm fine." She raised her head to look up at Harlowe 

She chuckled. "You're redder than a lingonberry." 

Clair groaned and hid her face in her hands. This was not going to plan at all for her. What was my plan?

"Let's get your mind off that, huh?" She grabbed her pack and set it between them.

Harlowe pulled a prosthetic arm from inside her pack and set it down on top of the pack. It was simpler than the one connected to her right shoulder and the point it would connect to her body bristled with ports, wires and needles. Looking at all the complexity drew her mind from the state it was in.

“Clair, help me out here. I can do this myself, but it’s easier with some help.” Harlowe spoke a word and the cuff of her artificial arm slid to the side revealing how it was connected to her body. “I haven’t done maintenance on myself for almost half a year and if you’re serious about solving your ghoul problem I should have everything in working order.” 

Clair looked at the tangle of wires and components in bewilderment. "How do I even begin with, with all this?" 

“Just start with unplugging anything that you can reach," said Harlowe.

Clair wrapped her shaking fingers around one of the cords and tugged. One of Harlowe’s fingers twitched as the whole cord came unplugged. 

Clair paused before pulling on another wire. “You sure this is okay?” 

Harlowe rolled her eyes. “Would I have asked if it wasn’t?” 

Harlowe felt something she hadn’t in quite some time. Her left hand quivered. She reached out, her claws hovering behind Clair’s head. The muscles in the claw tensed. Something in her stomach writhed. She bit down hard. The hunger was not going to win. 

Clair pulled another cord out.

She ran her claws through Clair’s hair as gently as she could manage. It felt good. Harlowe stopped. “I felt something good,” she whispered to herself. 

Clair was leaning back against her hand. She was warm, so very warm. Harlowe could feel the other woman’s blood pumping through her scalp. Her eyes burned brightly. Her hunger gnawed inside her belly. 

She shuddered, her claw threaded out of Clair’s hair and up to the hinge on her mask. "It'd be so easy… and I'm so hungry." Her saliva escaped from the places her mask met her neck.

Clair paused and looked up at Harlowe. The half-ghoul was shaking, her left hand up to the hinge on her mask. "Harlowe?"

"Sc-scaoi…" Harlowe stuttered and hissed. "I'm fine." She lowered her claw. 

"Are you?" Asked Clair.

"Yeah, I'm okay. I just am–" something clicked, "a little emotional," her mask fell onto her lap. "I'm…"

Clair stared at Harlowe's face, it was covered in saliva and dark ichor. Her teeth glinted in her mouth and her tongue kept pressing against them to try and taste the air. Harlowe's eyes were dim, her brows pulled together. Irregular, hitching breaths came from her throat. 

Harlowe went to pick up her mask. Clair grabbed a spare bit of cloth from Harlowe's pack. As Harlowe brought the mask up and swung it over her neck, Clair used the cloth she'd gotten to wipe away the blood and saliva that coated Harlowe's lower jaw. 

She turned to Clair. "Why? It will just get covered again. You won't have to see it."

Clair smiled and looked into Harlowe's eyes. "Leave the mask off."

"You're an idiot, I was going to eat you." Her eyes hurt.

"Yeah, I am, but I trust you." Clair dropped the cloth onto the floor. "I trust you," she said while gently caressing Harlowe's cheek.

Clair's fingers felt good on her skin, warm and smooth. "You're insane, Clair."

She smiled up at Harlowe, her silver-blue eyes shimmering. "So? If I ran from you I'd be like the people this morning." Clair swallowed. "Maybe if I'm mad, I can save you."

"Save me?" Harlowe's legs went out and her weight actually hit the bed, making it creak loudly. "No one can save me. I'm doomed, don't you get it?" She laughed. "Even if you somehow got rid of my curse, it's not going to fix this mess of a body. No one could ever…"

"Ever what?" Clair traced a finger down Harlowe's jaw and neck. 

"Ever love me again." Tears welled up in her eyes. 

Clair wiped a tear out of Harlowe's eye. "What if I told you that I've fallen for you?" Her own vision began to blur with tears. I said it, I can't believe I said it. 

Harlowe swallowed, but remained silent. She couldn't believe what she'd just heard. It didn't make sense. "Clair, why? How?" 

"You're strong and beautiful." Clair's cheeks flushed hard enough that it hurt. "You're intelligent too and the willpower it must have taken to amputate parts of your body." Her tears burned down her cheeks as she imagined it.

"Hahaha, I'm none of those things. Maybe I'm strong, that's about it." Her heart hurt. "I failed out of the College on the Moors, my beauty has been stolen by this curse and as for will?" She laughed, choking and haltingly. "What was I to do? Should I have let the curse take me without resisting?"

Clair tugged another cable loose in Harlowe’s arm. “You’d have been like that one we killed outside.” Another cord undone. “You’ve persisted for how long like this, Harlowe?

“Twelve years. It’s been twelve years since I was cursed.” She sighed. “Ten since I cut the legs off too.” 

“How did you manage that?” Clair asked, tugging the last cord out. 

Harlowe sighed. “I knew a woman a lot like you back then. I mentioned her earlier when I hurt you.” She paused. “Sorry. Anyway, she helped get the mountings for them set and attached them the first time for me.” A tear rolled down her cheek. “I lost her name to the curse, I can’t even see her face in my memories. At least I can still remember her laugh.” She tried to imitate it then abruptly stopped. “Ah, I can’t manage it.”

“I liked it, I liked the other ones you’ve done too.” She lightly tugged at Harlowe’s right arm. “Do I… just pull it off?”

Harlowe blinked. “Uh, yeah. You just tug really hard and-” she cried out, her claw digging into the bed. “A little early, maybe a warning?!” She unclenched her left hand. “You really like my laugh?”

Clair struggled with the disconnected arm and put it on the bed. “Yes, I do. I’ve had butterflies in my stomach since shortly after we met. I never allowed myself to feel anything for people before.” She swallowed and drew her lips into a thin line. “I suppressed my feelings with my faith and then when I died I found out that the Order was lying to me the whole time. The Frost Queen, Isette, she’s not hard. She isn’t a stoic figure of vengeance or a brutal blizzard.” Clair laughed bitterly. “She kissed me after she brought me back, after I renewed my vows. It was the first time I’d kissed anyone.”

Harlowe raised a brow. “Your first time kissing anyone, but you’re beautiful. How could you have not for all those years?” 

Clair sighed heavily. “So the truth then.”

“The what? Oh, could you put the other arm on too?” She waved the arm.

“The truth about me, about before I died.” Clair took the other prosthetic arm. “I line it up and push, right?

“Right.” Harlowe gave a thumbs up with her left hand.

Clair lined up the tines and ports with the steel mounting that was embedded in Harlowe’s torso. “Alright, you wanted a warning before I push this in, here’s the warning.” Harlowe readied herself, somehow it was harder to let someone else do the connection. “Here goes.”

The arm slid then clicked into place and Harlowe’s nerves lit up in agony. She kept the majority of it from showing other than the sharp inhale and low growl that rumbled in her throat. “Yeah, okay. It’s connected. Now just, the cords.”

Clair began connecting them as she spoke, “I said I was going to tell you about me before I died.” She pushed another plug into the arm joint. “I was a man, physically, before I died.” 

“Bullshit.” Harlowe winced as a connection was done poorly. “Hey, watch it. I don’t need feedback making the fingers break on this.” 

“Sorry, but really I was a man. My old name was-” 

Harlowe put a claw to Clair’s lips. “Doesn’t matter to me who you were before.” She paused. “Wrong plug, one down.”

“Got it, yeah.” Clair pressed the plug in gently until it clicked. “You really don’t care if I was a man before?”

“I really don’t, you’re a woman now and honestly I’ve met people like you before, though they didn’t need to die to get a body they wanted,” said Harlowe.

They didn’t need to die? Wait, others like me? The idea that she wasn’t alone was odd. She knew Rene was similar, but she was a spellweaver and didn’t mention others. 

“Clair, you look like your brain is about to leak out your ears.” Harlowe caressed her cheek with her claw. “Have you really never heard of transgender people?”

“Trans-wha?” She asked, dumbfounded.

“Oh good, I can move the arm.” Harlowe held her hands palm up and shrugged. “You really don’t know? A lot of people change that part of themselves. They use potions, magics and all sorts of other things to get a  body they feel comfortable in. How you were acting makes so much more sense now.” 

“They do, I’m not alone. I...”

Clair stammered, her gaze flitting around the room, trying to find something to ground herself. This had been something people knew about? It was something people did? I spent all those years suffering when I could have just. If I hadn't been part of the Order I could have been me? She felt like she was falling she'd lost what footing she'd manage to find while navigating her feelings for Harlowe and was falling.

Harlowe grabbed Clair by the sides of her head and stared into her eyes. “Gods damn it, hey, Clair."

She looked at the blushing, crying face of the woman who she had earlier tried to eat. She needed help. Clair made Harlowe feel things she'd thought she'd never find again. The fool had said she trusts her. She said she wanted to save her. Harlowe grit her teeth and swallowed hard. She was going to let her try.

"Here goes something.” she kissed her.

Clair kissed Harlowe back. She found her footing again as she embraced her.