Once again on egg-laying duty.
Contrary to what some may expect, after all this time of getting used to this sort of thing happening on the regular, this is still nothing I'm comfortable with my mother being present at.
While it has to commence, I think I deserve a basic degree of privacy.
However, as I just at the worst moment realize that Kyska, for some reason, left my side without me noticing, I sadly only have one person I can rely on.

 

"Relax, Ery. LEt iet flow. Calm." (F)

 

Yes, my mum was the only princess-qualified laying session expert available.
She gathered experience during her time with Honiu.
Now she applies what she learned on me.
Oh god, am I embarrassed!

However, she does a decent job.
Quickly, enough nurses gather under her command to take care of my needs.
She even assigns two to massage my wings.

 

"Scrrrrr"

"Plop, plop, plop"

 

Concerningly this manipulation even works to get me more relaxed, despite the general situation that I'm giving rapid birth to giant insects in front of my mum.

 

"I know thies isn't easy, Ery, but you're doing wEll." (F)

 

Sigh.
No choice but to push through this.

It seems I stored quite a few eggs along with my frustration, as it seems to go on forever.
It's a miracle that I didn't bloat with what I had in there.
To the end, I once again become aware of how important Kyska is for usually dealing with my issues.
I really should learn to pay more attention to someone who is so important to me.
If she just wouldn't be such a silent presence all the time.
This trail of thoughts makes me perk up all the stronger when I wake up to find her at my side again.

 

<Kyska, where were you?> (E)

<I need to apologize, my princess, but the queen summoned me to report on the events after your capture.> (K)

 

She apologizes.
Should I be worried?

 

<Did you say anything problematic to Uma?> (E)

<I truthfully relayed the events as they occurred.> (K)

 

I don't blame her for not lying to the queen, but it makes me concerned about what she might've told her.

 

<Wait, did you tell her anything about Chera?> (E)

<No, this wasn't part of her questions. She was primarily focused on your personal experiences and hardships, and less on the outer circumstances.> (K)

 

I let out a breath I held.
I have no idea what would've happened if I set up Chera after all this talking about helping her to get out of her low.

 

<In this sense, I was instructed to inform you that you're summoned after concluding your morning routine. The queen is aware that you went through a difficult time and won't allow you to leave your quarters before you restore your energy with a meal.> (K)

 

While I certainly don't see Uma as my mother, despite her claiming differently, the insect queen in question doesn't seem to have a problem forcing herself into this role.

However, the next thing that happens is pleasant, because at Kyska's signal, nurses bring whole amphoras with nectar.
At their sight, I feel an almost primal hunger welling up inside of me.
My body calls for this.
I need this.

Okay, should I fight this urge or just indulge?
Well, I can't see many drawbacks to fulfilling my basic needs.

Once I start chugging the nectar down, I really feel that Chera's hive was lacking in this regard.
For everyone who isn't constantly expending energy on producing eggs, this would be a case of severe overeating, and even in my case, it might be pushing my limits.
I lose track of precisely how many containers I empty, but I stop once I feel a strain in my chest.
Which becomes quite distressing once I realize the cause.
Did I seriously just notice how my breasts begin to fill up from the inside?!
I suppose that I never consumed enough food at once before for the feeling to be perceptible.
Okay, that's a good sign to stop.

 

<You said the queen wants to meet me, Kyska?> (E)

<As soon as you're available.> (K)

<That would probably be now.> (E)

<In that case, I would ask you to follow me after I send a messenger in advance.> (K)

<As you say.> (E)

 

On the way, Kyska guides me, and I once again become aware of the massive structure that Honiu built below Valera.
The sheer number of halls, caverns, tunnels, and chambers that were established is just as incredible as it is distressing, considering that none of this existed a few weeks ago.
This thought only intensifies by a magnitude once we reach a ridiculously spacious path.
This one is covered on all sides by tiny tunnels.
Quickly I realize that this must've been the way the queen came through.
Given our destination, this only makes sense.
Just to say, the hall that marks said destination is nonetheless impressive.
But probably not as much as its newest inhabitant.

 

<Ah, Erys! I was eagerly awaiting your visit.> (U)

 

Not like I had much of a choice.
Refusing the summons of the most powerful being in the country, both above and below ground, would be sheer folly.

 

<Why did you summon me? According to Kyska she already told you everything that happened.> (E)

<This is very much the reason why I wanted you to come. During the talk with your personal nurse, I became aware of a grave issue I wanted to bring up before the meeting of the broodmothers begins. I believe this to be a delicate matter that should be discussed in a controlled manner.> (U)

 

Sure.
Once again the queen wants something.
Something that can’t be said in front of others regarding an issue involving me…
No, I'm not the slightest bit freaked out here!

 

<Uh, am I in trouble? I really tried to do everything to the best of my abilities.> (E)

<This is not the prelude to a punishment if that is what you mean. However, it is about something that needs to be corrected. It is fortunate for this event that I assembled every single available drone of yours at my departure. I knew it would be necessary to involve them in further discussions.> (U)

 

At this she sends a pheromone signal that suddenly gets caught and amplified by countless messengers I didn't notice were on the ceiling till this point.
A moment later, drones stream into the hall, from everywhere around us.
From their pheromone mark, I directly know that every single one of them is... my brood.
Thousands upon thousands of them!
Workers, guardians, messengers, nurses, and not to forget my royal guard.
WHAT HAPPENED TO "IN A CONTROLLED MANNER"?!!

 

<Oh, I meant this is a matter for only involved parties. And in my opinion, they are very much involved.> (U)

 

My thoughts flash back to what occurred with Honiu’s brood when she displeased the queen.
She wouldn’t do that to mine…
Would she?
No, she said she wasn’t going to punish me.

 

<H-how exactly are literally all of my brood involved in this?> (E)

<The thing I wanted to bring up was that, as your personal nurse relayed, at several times you decided to risk your own safety, body, and even your life to achieve things for the sake of your surrounding drones. No matter how many times you were told not to do so, you continued. While this kind of love for your children is admirable, the execution is nothing short of foolish and shortsighted, forcing the very children you are trying to protect to fall into utter despair if you'd succeed with your self-sacrifice. This cannot continue.> (U)

 

Oh my god!
Is she going to hold a trial in front of my whole brood?!

 

<Erys, I understand that you incurred some risk by trying to escape. This made sense to a degree. But that you were unable to abandon your nurse to escape to a safe location, that you risked a cave-in to help workers, that you almost wouldn't allow your royal guard to fulfill their purpose and protect you with their life from an imminent threat, this cannot be. You need to stop putting yourself at risk. Your harm is far worse for your brood than anything that could possibly happen to them, even death. You are hurting those closest to you.> (U)

 

What's worse than the words and situation are only the pheromones in the air, designed to make me feel guilty.
That they're genuinely reciprocated by my brood doesn't make this any easier.
Nor does the underlying fear that I sense from them.

 

<All of them assembled here because they want you to know that they love you, but they don't want you to act this way. They are scared because of you. For you.> (U)

 

Because of me?

 

<Y-you need to know, I didn't mean to... I mean, I didn't want to lose any of you.> (E)

 

A cacophony of mental "Mother don't", "please not", "we love you", "please live", and who knows how many more variants of this stream into my head.

 

<I-it's just... that you're all important to me! I, I love you, you can't expect me to...> (E)

 

My ideas aren't effective.
It's not that they fall on deaf ears.
They can't.
They're all received, but not a single drone of mine can be convinced.
No, if anything it makes them only more inclined to convince me otherwise.

 

<Mother can't die!>

<You need to live!>

<I give my all for you!>

<Please, be there!>

<We would be meaningless!>

 

This goes on and on and on until I realize that I'm kneeling sobbing on the ground from this onslaught.
It's overwhelming, heartfelt, touching me deep inside.
The pure feelings of thousands that cannot lie.
I became more aware than ever before just how hurt they are at my actions.

 

<Do you realize how loved you are? Don't let this go to waste. Don't make them despair over you.> (U)

 

Even some kind of general agreement forms, similar to Kyska's threat back then in the forest, that they'll, without any hesitation, end their own lives would I ever put them on the spot to risk my own for them.

By the end, I'm reduced to one big crying mess crumbled on the ground.
My drones are in an equal state because they sense my inner turmoil and know they caused it.
It hurts, and at the same time, I know I'm loved.
It's complicated, hard to endure, and warm.
Confusing, terribly overwhelming, hard to accept, and not leaving any room for doing otherwise.

While I'm lying there, not sure how to endure this any longer, I again perceive Uma's pheromones that lay silent until now during this whole ordeal.

 

<I hope you understand now Erys. While intense I hope you learned from this.> (U)

 

I seriously did.
How could I ignore this?

I'm so overwhelmed, I don't know what to feel now.
I guess I can never again look at them and argue that it's better if I put myself at risk than them.
Though, once enough time passes and I am again capable of reason, I can't help having this thought.

Uma orchestrated this perfectly.