I was able to calm down a little.
Since there is no way to help my situation I at least want to do something to become more comfortable.

 

<Kyska, can you help me with something?> (E)

<Whatever you wish for, my princess.> (K)

<I want to talk like before. You know how I sounded. Can you help me and judge if it sounds human enough?> (E)

<If this is what you wish for.> (K)

<What is this about?> (S)

<The princess is dejected to have lost the ability to perform human communication. As those responsible for her wellbeing it is on us to help to ease her mind.> (K)

<Why is she troubled?> (S)

<Because it was a part of her that is lost. And she told me about the bonds she had before. To be inept to maintain them is troubling her.> (K)

<Crirc!/ I understand.> (S)

 

Kyska is astonishing.
Her ability to perceive and how she concludes is top.
I just wish she wouldn't talk as if I'm not here.

Next, Kyska is settling herself opposite me at the table.
I try to start with an introduction.

 

"HieeEk, HiieEE, Hieeelk!" (E)

 

It seems because I've got accustomed to these creaks my ability decreased.
This will be a hard piece of work.

 

<You did better before, princess.> (K)

 

The one time I would wish for these creatures to lie.

 

"HieElk; hieell; hiell; hieellloo! Myeee; myiie; mye, my! Neeek; neEmk; neEm; neameE; namee! IeeEks, ieEtz; ies; is! EEeeryEEEs; EEerieEs; Eeryies; Eryes; Erys! Heello mye namee ies Erys!" (E)

 

I'm panting now.
This is really hard.
It is so prone to derail if you aren't totally focused.

 

<I think that counts as human words. Yet, it might be a bit high compared to before if the vocal tone is an issue.> (K)

 

Devastating honest this insect.

 

"Ieeet ies ea; a biiet; biit! Buuit; buut; but mooorreee beEcauuseee peeEeopleE; peeoplee mieeeght beeEcomE; beecome sceeea;scaaeerr; scaareed." (E)

 

I won't go away from this.
I made too many concessions.
My voice I want back!

 

<This looks interesting! Maybe I should.> (S)

 

She starts with weird shifting around her mandibles.

 

"Screak, scree, seE; IeeE, Iee, ceeE, ceaen, tuo." (S)

<Suki! What are you doing there?> (K)

<You said that talking to humans might be beneficial for the princess. So developing such an ability might become of use for us.> (S)

 

Her logic has no obvious flaws.
I never said that I don't want to meet people in the future.
It might become difficult, yet if not for the wings and the stinger there are no obvious inhuman traits.
If I can somehow cover those I might be seen as normal.
Also, it would help me when I'm training to recover my ability to talk normally if the other party could talk normally as well.

 

<You might be right. And if our princess wishes for human goods this is inevitable for negotiations.> (K)

<You-you are going to interact with humans? Just because of me?> (E)

<Why not? There is no order to refrain from it. And if it's beneficial to your condition the risks are neglectable. Your life equals twenty-thousand a year. So this is the amount the swarm will put at your disposal, my princess.> (K)

<Wait, why are we talking now about lives?> (E)

<Workers to fulfill the tasks you give them, protectors, service units, and those who die during such requests. For example, in case the humans turn hostile. Those are all lives dedicated to you, my princess. These are the roles they will fulfill.> (K)

 

This... Isn't this too much of a responsibility?
Even a king has no such devotion.
God, I get a stomach ache from this.
Nonetheless, I continue this training of my voice.

 

After a while, I can form most of the words without greater slip-ups, but not quite right yet.
There are small slips and the tone is off.
However, if I keep this up I might only sound like someone with an extremely weird pronunciation.
And not like an insect in disguise.
My two nurses are surprisingly good at this too.
Even though there is no way they ever had access to my language before they are apparently figuring out the meaning of my words.

 

"Hoouw dou youu do thies? Leeaarnieng mye leangueage thies faaest?" (E)

 

They look at each other.

 

<Princess, our kind uses pheromones in addition to vocal communication. We are emitting scents that convey meaning. You should experience this with us as well. Like this, it isn't difficult to know what each vocal combination shall convey.> (K)

 

Pheromone?
A scent?
This is difficult, but I think I understand.
In fact, I do always explain unconsciously half of what I say.
And I felt sometimes something.
They were flustered and worried at my demeanor.
I thought this is because it is so obvious how my emotional state was, yet I conveyed them like this in reality.

Scent!

 

"Youu siaid theere are twenty-thouusand onlye to act for mee?" (E)

 

I get better and better with talking and my speech grows more fluent with fewer mistakes.
However, it is so exhausting that I want to have a short break and again use the creaks.

 

<Is that really alright? I mean so many lives! Can really so many be spent just like this?> (E)

<It seems you are underestimating the swarm, my princess. Our system is vast. The average worker, who poses the majority of our population has a span of life of twelve to sixteen cycles. Guardians more than twenty. And we nurses, as our load is very light even forty cycles. In relation to the frequency with which new drones are added this means our swarm grows continuously. There might be a considerable number of casualties due to fights with other species of our world, yet compared to the entire population these are insignificant. Like this, the system we spread encompasses a vast territory with an exceptionally high number of subjects. Twenty-thousand a year is neglectable my princess, in regards to your contribution to bring this into existence.> (K)

 

This is scary.
I can't even imagine the numbers she talks about and I obviously underestimated them.
They should equal the numbers of all the humans in the known world, if not exceeding them.
If they would decide to invade, there would be no chance with the way they fight.
My stomach pain increases and I feel stress.
This pressure is really too much.
If I make a mistake it could lead to a war between the countries above and them.

 

God, why does this feel like this?
Just breathe!
In and out!
Calm down!
Let the pressure drift away!

Urrgh, it feels really wrong.
As if something is stuck in me.
Forget it!
Relax!

What is this pressure?
My spine is strained and I feel the tension increasing in my stomach.
It cramps up.
Make this stop!
I want that this loosens!
It shall...

 

"Plop"

 

"Iehk?" (E)

 

Both of these insects were worried while I was occupied with this pressure that now got a bit better.
Yet now Kyska is rushing past me.

 

<Suki! Fetch some nurses! And the workers! It started!> (K)

<Started?> (E)

<It is there! Marvelous! It is still small, but I cannot see any irregularity. It appears to be a completely normal worker.> (K)

<Worker? What do you mean?> (E)

<Don't you see? Here, look.> (K)

 

Kyska presents me a round, slimy object.
Milky-white grey.
A bit translucent.
Around a half finger's length.
This...

 

<Your first egg my princess! You are fertile! You started production!> (K)

<Scri, screak, scree!/ Wh-what? No! I mean... No! This...> (E)

 

"Plop"

 

<Another one! You are doing perfect my princess. Suki where are the nurses? We need to act before they pile up!> (K)

 

I start to panic and tremble, grasping my shoulders.
Tears start to flow.

 

"Plop"

 

Another one!!!

Soon Suki but also some other similar insects enter the room.
They take carefully each one egg into their hands and transport them out.

 

"Plop"

 

I cannot stop!
They just keep coming!
My body feels lighter with each and now I know why this thing is shaped like it is.
It is open to let them easier out, as long I don't sting something.
The nurses take one after another each one egg.
They are continuously coming.

 

"Plop, plop"

 

Some are directly taken out of that thing with skilled, subtle moves.
The nurses who left are soon entering again empty-handed and take the new ones.
More and more are popping out and Kyska holds me tight rubbing my back while avoiding the wings.
Yet I guess I shall just not move too much to let the others do their job.

I cry nonstop and at one point it ends.

 

<Twenty-six eggs in your first interval! And that in under half an hour. You are a natural, princess.> (S)

<You did great! They are all healthy and not a single one differed from how they should be. You are perfectly fulfilling your role.> (K)

 

Those two are now attending to my body.
The usual cleaning and massaging.
They are skilled and it feels somehow good.
But I am just too spent to react.

 

<They will hatch in one interval or two and after fifteen or twenty more they will have matured enough. The queen might be superior, yet your originating brood will be foremost devoted to you.> (K)

<And you thought you couldn't fulfill your role, princess.> (S)

 

Suki was right.
I don't have a choice in this.
It happens on its own without me having control over anything.
I can only comply or kill myself.
But killing me is no option.

Also, this treatment feels somewhat nice to my strained body.
And it was straining.
It sipped at me.
It all feels so mechanical, automated.
They emerge are taken away and taken care of until they hatch.
Then they will act in some kind of role.

 

I stay unresponsive for a while, but they don't stop their treatment.
They keep on going, feeling that I'm still in a bad state.
I feel so terrible thinking about my situation and how to cope with it.

However, those two seem nice.
It's not as if they bear any direct fault for my situation.
As frightening their looks where at first, they are devoted.
It feels like affection to me.
However, I'm afraid if this is just a role they play to the convenient thing.

 

<You two. Do you even like me? I mean... am I just an egg-laying machine to you or is there any interest in my person? Are you just assigned to act like this?> (E)

<Crrk, this is difficult to say. There are positive feelings, yet they are part of our role. We are made to feel affection for those we tend to. On the other side, some of your requests are novel, but not displeasing. I think you grew to me and I would grieve to be assigned differently. Maybe even to the queen.> (K)

 

Knowing Kyska this is maybe the greatest concession she could make.
The queen is absolute to her and then I am like this in her view.

 

<I think I like it. You have many problems, but to know that you weren't even part of the swarm and then fare as you do is great. So I want to stay.> (S)

 

Suki was only a short time here but still thinks like this about me.
This is something good, right?
It feels like affection.

I am dead tired after this experience and only want to sleep.
As soon they are done with their program they guide me to the tub.

 

<By the way, who were those other nurses?> (E)

<They are attending to the units close by, but their main purpose is to stay in attendance when a laying interval starts. Then they give a first treatment and hand them over to the workers for transportation. The workers themselves aren't allowed to directly assist a princess as rough they are made.> (S)

 

So they only have this one job.

 

<But to reduce stress, the personal nurses are primarily attending.> (K)

 

Everything so that I am kept ready, huh?

I am put into this tub.
I notice this time consciously how I sink in, below the surface of this weird substance.
First, it is a little frightening, as the other times my mouth stayed free in the beginning, but I note fast that I can still breathe fine in that stuff.
That must have been the case since the first time.
The two make sure that all parts of me are properly drowned and I fast fall into sleep.

This was all too much.

And I really need a break.