Chapter 172
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Gioras...

Honestly, I tried my best to ignore him during the journey.
Didn't want to engage with him or even be reminded of what I went through.
Of what Kyska went through!

I don't like the feelings I get when I indulge in these thoughts.
Still, while not outright mistreated, he clearly wasn't handled with the greatest care.
Might be the way the drones live out their anger for what he did.

 

"Urgh. Huh, I need to admit this is an impressive sight." (G)

 

He probably means the queen looming over him.
I can't believe that he isn't more disturbed in this very situation.
But more pressing is what the queen is thinking with doing this.
I have a bad feeling about this.

 

<Why did you bring him here?> (E)

<If I was informed correctly, this human was responsible for your capture. One of the worst attacks on my swarm since the swarm wars. Is this true?> (U)

"You're talking about me, huh? Mind putting in a good word for me?" (G)

 

"Wham"

 

I threw him a glare, yet the queen's reaction is even more menacing.
Even without pheromones, she can convey very well that she doesn't appreciate her talk being interrupted.

 

<Well, yes. Quite obviously.> (E)

<While I appreciate that you weren't harmed, it's still an undeniable fact that this human tried to exploit you in a harmful way to the swarm. So tell me please, Erys, how do you think this creature should be dealt with?> (U)

 

She wants me to decide his punishment?
No, not just punishment.
Formicea don't have much of a concept for corrective measures since their society just works.
This is about his life.

Is this a test?
To see if I can make hard decisions?
I mean, I hate this man.
After everything he subjected me to this is only understandable.

But still, can I really order him to be killed?
I'm not at risk because of him anymore.
This wouldn't be about self-defense, it's merely to put him down because of his past actions.
But maybe I can compromise?

 

<Can we imprison him? Then he won't be a threat anymore.> (E)

 

That might be a step down from directly killing him.
Yet the queen doesn't seem to be convinced.

 

<Imprison? Taking away his freedom? So he won't be able to act in any way anymore? This is the idea you are trying to convey here, isn't it?> (U)

<Y-yes?> (E)

<Cruel. To keep a being in this kind of pointless state. This sounds like an overly complicated measure that bears no apparent advantage to justify it. Do you even think this will suffice? Would this kind of treatment completely ensure that this creature could never again find an opportunity to cause further harm? Your fellow princesses, your brood, the entire swarm? Would showing leniency prevent further incidents of this kind?> (U)

 

I know what she's getting at. Gioras is the head of intelligence.
Confining him might barely do anything to contain his influence.
He'd all too quickly rebuild his network if given the chance and has shown quite clearly that he's willing to go to extremes.

Worse, if I show here that someone who abducts a Formicean princess can just do so and receive no consequences...
That would open the door for everyone else to do the same.
And this while there's nothing more grave one could do to the swarm.
Well, aside from directly killing the princesses.
Just as I'm about to do now to him.

 

<What do you want from me?! If you have already decided his fate then why ask me about my opinion?> (E)

 

The queen doesn't answer directly.
Instead, she grows silent, then she slowly lowers herself to me.
So far that, at one point, her face is just in front of me, covering all my vision.

 

<Erys, listen well. I won't decide anything. You were further harmed than I was. You experienced yourself what this being is capable of. Its way of thinking. Its reasoning. You know better than anyone what the consequences would be with any action that could be imposed on him. Be it mercy, death, or imprisonment, or any other alternative that could be applied.> (U)

<I-I don't understand.> (E)

<Oh, you do. I'm sure you do. It is not I who will decide this creature's fate. Not I who will order my drones to deal with this threat as I would wish them to do. This decision is entirely on you. You will bear full responsibility. For all of your brood, present and future. For your fellow princesses. For the swarm! For the future that lies ahead! You alone bear the responsibility for the remainder of this creature's life! Whether it lives or not, all its future actions and involvements will be on you or cut short at this very moment. So, choose wisely.> (U)

<A-are you serious?> (E)

<Why wouldn't I be? I trust in you.> (U)

 

This is a test.
It must be a test!
But... but Formicea don't lie.
Formicea don't deceive.
If Uma says that his fate is mine to decide, then she won't rebuke my decision.
So rather than a test, this is a lesson.
A lesson on hard decisions as she just said before.
But this also means this will be, truly, just on me.
I now must decide if I want Gioras to die or not.
Whether I believe the world will be a better place without him.

Do I think so?
Truly, I can understand why he did it.
He saw a chance to win a war he thought they were going to lose and save his people.
This might even be true to some degree.
Fielding an insect army against his enemies might have done wonders.
However, it would've been at our loss.
Though, didn't I as well think often enough that helping Tarsona to prevail might be a better outcome than a win for Koreso and having to deal with them as our new direct neighbors?

But that's beside the point.
The issue here isn't about what he wanted to achieve, but what he actually did.
And what he did was nothing else but a hostile action against the swarm.
Given the chance, he would definitely do the same again.
He would do anything for his country.

If I understood Uma right, she plans on somehow seizing control over the humans in Tarsona.
Maybe not in a cruel manner, but certainly not completely free.
It can be more than expected that Gioras would eventually conspire against such a thing if we would be the oppressors.
This will eventually cause another conflict that might be to our loss.
He's intelligent after all and willing to seize any opportunity.
He'll never just accept us without thinking about how he may take advantage through his scheming.

But the other point Uma brought up weighs even heavier.
What this man did was by all accounts a crime.
Worse, it was treason.
To us and even high treason to the crown.
It's not just a question of how I feel about it.
Justice shouldn't be based on personal feelings.
If he'd abducted Honiu or Liseti this wouldn't have been any less bad for the swarm.
Would I really argue that the death warrant wouldn't be justified if it had been them?
Heck, even Gioras said that he doesn't expect to get out of this alive.
It's not just about him, but about setting an example.
The whole upper caste of Tarsona knows how important princesses are to the swarm.
If we'd now show leniency after the most important part of our society, essentially our royalty, was threatened, it would set a bad example.
Still, can I really give out such a verdict?
Am I truly capable of deciding that someone else shouldn't live anymore?

Suddenly, I become aware that my royal guard is next to me.
Given that all of them signal burning hatred for that man, it seems like I found my executioners.

 

"Ahem. While it seems like you have something on your mind, I'd like to say something. I can identify a public execution when I'm being subjected to one and therefore think I got the gist of the situation." (G)

 

Shit!
What now?
This is not gonna get any easier with him talking me out of this.
Not like I hold much sympathy for him, but one can't dismiss that he's a good talker, and I'm already conflicted about this.

 

"No need to give me that look. All I wanted to say was: Please, just make it quick." (G)

 

What is this now?
Some kind of mind trick?
Catching me off guard so I'm getting engaged, or some such?

 

"Shut up! I'm not letting you sway me!" (E)

 

At my outburst, my royal guards step closer to him, threatening to take the still-pending decision away from me.
I kinda wish they would.

 

"Nothing like this. I can see how pressured you are. It doesn't take much imagination to conclude what this giant would expect you to do. Not after preparing for this kind of stage. So do it. However, I would suggest in a properly human manner so as to not appear too repulsive to the assembled nobles. So, better make it quick." (G)

"Are you seriously giving me tips right now regarding how to kill you?" (E)

"I wouldn't say I do so with a light heart, but the advantages outweigh my feelings. From the start, I knew how this would end for me. The question is now what to make out of this. If you executing me properly is going to appease the big one, that's good enough. I know you still feel a connection to the people of this country. You don't want their demise. So it's better if you don't lose too much favor. At the same time, you should balance any thirst for vengeance with the image you're trying to convey to these people. Another war is the last thing that this country needs now." (G)

 

Damn, I'm so pathetic.
Now even the guy I have to kill needs to convince me to do so.

 

<Erys. I'm not sure if musing this much over your decisions is going to solve the problem. Apathy is just another decision. Yet seldom a good one.> (U)

 

 Basically her way of saying "Hurry up".

 

"I'll do it." (E)

"Would you mind if I get to speak some last words?" (G)

 

I almost reflexively say yes, before realizing I'm being tested.

 

"Only if you don't say anything wrong." (E)

 

Can't have him screaming "revolution".

 

"Don't worry. I'm sure you won't find any fault in my words." (G)

 

Sigh.
I nod and at the same time turn to my royal guards.

 

<Get ready, please. But don't mutilate the body more than necessary... Make it quick.> (E)

 

Emitting only confirming pheromones, they move towards him, brandishing spears and swords.
Gioras, meanwhile, starts his speech, as I raise my hand to let it fall along with him.

 

"To everyone who listens! Hear my last words! I brought this upon myself! I deceived my king! Attacked and kidnapped foreign ambassadors willing to aid our cause! I lied, betrayed, and tortured! And I would do so again! Everything I did was for the people! No matter how deep I would have to lower myself, it wouldn't matter if just another man, woman, or child of this nation could live another day! For this reason, I only regret that I couldn't succeed, but not that I tried! I face my end without regret, knowing that it's the one I laid out for myself." (G)

 

Basically, this was for us.
He put all the blame on himself, so his death wouldn't inspire any hatred.
He never intended to fight the swarm.
The swarm isn't inclined to fight humans in the first place.
He knows that and that a war would be pointless and stupid.
No reason to give anyone ammunition who would want to cause such a thing.
Even in his end, he thinks about the people.
Then I feel breath hitting me from behind and notice Uma's almost whispered message contained within.

 

<Shuuuh!/Don't look away. This is your decision. Inaction can kill just the same as action. In both cases, our victims deserve to be acknowledged.> (U)

 

I guess I can't deny this logic.
Someone I kill should at least see that I recognize them.
Less out of determination than with weakness to hold it up any longer, my hand falls.

Promptly, two spears pierce the man in front of me as two blades simultaneously slit his throat.
Different from me, my royal guards doesn't know any qualms.
At least they catch up on a stray thought of mine and support him before his lifeless body hits the ground.
I wouldn't want to see him in the dirt.
It's just a question of respect.

No one gasps or says a word.
Everyone just stares silently at this outcome that was in some way expected.
Eery silence spreads over the courtyard.

I fight back the tears at what I just did.
However, I can't afford to look weak now.
It would ruin everything.

 

<So this was your choice. May the future show if it was a good one. Yet it's good that you could make it.> (U)

 

So Uma isn't even assuring me now that I was right.
Would I even have had to kill him?
Yet I realize that it doesn't matter now.
There are no second chances regarding such a decision.
He's dead after all.

<I'm just as sorry as I am glad that I could subject you to this. Such decisions are never easy, but are all too common in our position. Finding the best possible outcome is a challenge greater than any other. So come, little Erys. As many more await you.> (U)

 

I suppress the urge to scream all of my frustration out.
Though, my pheromones might still spike through.
I'm not sure how much more I can handle.
Just what did I get myself into here?

 

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