Chapter 45: You could’ve insulted anyone else ex-dude…
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Heyo~

Considering how much adventuring I actually should do for the journey towards Gobberz but I’ll leave my thoughts aside for now. More importantly you guys decided for the best reaction it would be the best to go for the MILF or youngest sister. Personally I think it would be optimal to choose the middle child as you get all the best reactions but it is what it is?

Anyways, enjoy~♥

 

Fuka slowly walked towards the bandits - she wasn’t really afraid of any long ranged attacks or the fact they surrounded her. She didn’t even bother trying to charge down one side to break out and this reason was simple as well as obvious. Their weapons simply couldn’t get past her armour.

Based on the fact they don’t consider running when running into something with Dragon Blood they weren’t experienced in any form of combat so their skill certainly wasn’t a problem. They also wouldn’t be bandits if they could afford equipment that could puncture through her high quality paladin armour - paladin armour tending to be even heavier than regular knight armour due to abandoning the idea of mounts…

Though getting a mount wasn’t impossible for a mount it needed to be one that could lift such heavy armour which a horse certainly couldn’t during combat. The main duty of a paladin was of protection, not extermination after all. They had no need to be as mobile as a knight.

Their counterpart, Templars, were another matter.

Her paladin armour was made from the person who could easily claim to be the best smith in Orrid without her being surprised; Emily. Although small and young Emily Fuka knew she was practicing at a level far higher than any smiths in the shithole country for one very specific reason. She was learning from notes left by Chaos himself!

She wasn’t exactly an expert on the geography of the world nor on how the economy worked - she wouldn’t even claim she was aware of what made for a great armour or weapon crafter. She wasn’t a tank but a Paladin. Although she wasn’t subscribed to any god as there was no way she was going to go to pray to the shit head of Light Orrid has as their national religion. They probably treated female orphans worse than the place Eel came from; they really deserved their title as ‘teachers’ in a country that taught women they were slightly better than cattle to put it mildly.

She was {Frugal Fuck Fuka} not {Pios Abuse Victim Fuka}.

She did however know a thing or two about the gods; one thing for sure was if you wanted to talk about a legendary Smith it would be {Chaos J Faust}. Although he was mostly known for his {Faustian Artefacts} which had dangerously misleading affects it was true that each was top tier in their affects. A note she even heard from the little cow was that he was actually the one responsible for the creation of {Dharma Artefacts} which meant Eel’s sword was likely his creation!

Result of union between greatest Artisan to live (claiming partial responsibility for the creation of the System) and the epitome of ‘thin line between Genius and Madness’. Although the latter is more of a household name, both are infamous in many ways; {Warlord - Kaiser Mantis} & {Faux God of Space, Time & Fate/Chance - Munzumira Stratos}. In other words he should’ve learnt from the best of the best yet for some fucking reason the little cow was able to get his notes despite it certainly not being something one can buy!

The material on the other hand was obtained by the Hunting Heroine herself - the equipment was a shared birthday gift from the twin tinnies.

If these cheap farm tools could puncture her armour she may as well quit being an adventuring paladin as stopping a dragon would be simple as putting up a wooden fence. Considering farmers were doomed if a D-rank monster came around, she highly doubted these idiots could deal with a dragon like Eel. Regardless she didn’t mine some free exp and these fools likely killed quite a few people so should be reasonably levelled.

“Hmpf, you’re in over your head if you think we’ll let you get away bitch. Everyone knows a knight is weak without their steed - surround her and attack the back of her joints just like the other knights.” <’Decent’ Man>

“Heh this dumb bitch doesn’t even have a mount. You’re probably some rich bitch with some pointlessly flashy armour bought with daddy's money - you’ll make a better brothel whore than a knight. Maybe your rich daddy will even give your bimbo pussy a few rounds after he finds you as a broken cum slut~!” <Bandit>

It was clear they weren’t well organized as even those who should be making sure the other girls didn’t just run away ran towards Fuka - the clearly overconfident man just grinned smugly and watched them himself. As if he actually thought he had any chance of even getting past Lyada with his little hatchet let alone the defensive powerhouses which were the rest of the party… Not including Tom who was constantly looking back and forth from the girls playing poker, Eel who looked nervous beyond belief as she looked off towards the forest and Fuka.

The first to run at her was a rather plump man with a large beer belly and a blood cleaver in his right hand that was held over his head. A receding hairline, not shirt as well as a bloody apron made it clear he was a butcher. He was also the idiot shouting at a brothel whore that she would make a good brothel whore as an idiot - unlike Eel though Fuka wasn’t the type to smack talk and certainly wasn’t like Lyada who was sadistic.

With zero hesitation she drew out her new Bastard sword and thrust it forth into the man's throat. He didn’t even stand a chance as she stepped back with her left arm raised - even her shield had its size improved in size as a towering heater shield (elongated to be a full body shield that was more akin to a wall than equipment) - turning on the spot so her shield cover what was he back. The sound of multiple ‘weapons’ clashing against her shield played out. With the impact against the shield some mock-weapons broke apart and even though that didn’t numbed the arms of the wielders; Fuka merely followed up with a simple crowd control sword art.

“Unfortunately for ye - my equipment isn’t needlessly expensive - just expensive. I appreciate ya compliments though; {Mass Slash}!” <Fuka>

Swinging her blade, as a green hue filled it with energy, under her twisted shield she managed to catch a total of five bandits in the stomach - gutting them like fish. Since she had no god to worship the colour of her equipment also wasn’t blessed - the appearance just a white with green accents - but it was still better than regular knight equipment. Regardless it did seem like some over the top armour made would look like due to the bright colours - if the armour looked like it was made for appearance sake surely the rest of the gear was the same?

This very mistake cost a village of around 30 grown men a 5th of their workforce.

“H-how… Wait, I get it now! She must be a professional knight, not some rookie adventurer, not a rich girl, but instead must be here to take care of the cow girl and her pet. They must be nobles from that small empire up north!” <’Decent’ Man>

“Small empire? Wait, ya don’t mean {Indigo Stratos Empire} right? What fucking drugs are ya on that ya think that empire is small!” <’Decent’ Man>

The man made some weird finger movements with the hand holding the hatchet - then acting like he was being all sneaky - he continued to talk to Fuka. The remaining 20+ men just chuckled and made no more moves... They froze after she cut down six of them anyway though so all that changed was the obvious chuckles.

<Obvious sign to their scout was obvious… Oh well.>

With a smug, mocking smile he replied to Fuka as if she was dumb. Though it must be said that she wasn’t an expert in geography she was quite clearly miles ahead of the common villager that had all knowledge from wandering preachers of the church.

“Dumb girl - clearly whichever dumb noble house spent training a woman up in your backwards outdated KINGDOM wasted their money on education. Or maybe they are just so oblivious to how big an empire needs to be they think their size is impressive or something?” <’Decent’ Man>

“Are you not talking about Orrid-” <Fuka>

“Oh, sorry, did I make you angry telling you the truth about your {Indigo Stratos KINGDOM}. It’s an indisputable fact that if that backwards place can call itself an empire any random tribe could do the same. Then again they are just a bunch of beasts that don’t know better I suppose - even have a woman like you fighting instead of giving birth to some actual knight. A City Guard could probably overpower you.” <’Decent’ Man>

“Yea… Ya are aware that it can’t be a kingdom right?” <Fuka>

“Why - is it now the largest civilization in existence?” <’Decent’ Man>

This got some chuckled from the men around but her next words brought them into hysterics.

“I mean… That but also it’s run by a queen not a king so it wouldn’ be a kingdom. Wouldn’ it be called a Queendom?” <Fuka>

“You think a woman can actually rule anything - obviously name a woman who has achieved anything in history!” <’Decent’ Man>

“Violet Indigo who made an entire Realm after purging the old gods, Sovereign of Storms who is recognised as the knight who has Photon’s back, Munzumira Stratos who created spirits to maintain reality, Mother who is the leader of the new gods and her previous iteration Venus the person who made all life itself... ” <Emily>

Although she wasn’t very snooty as a succubus (a race who despite stereotypes is a race linked to knowledge itself) she couldn’t forgive such dumb comments. Over Half the major figures in history were women - that may be because many men were lost in or before {The First Great War} so few legends lived on - but pretending they didn’t exist? How could she not be annoyed!

Of course the bandits just laughed at her.

“Hahahaha~! You actually believe all that propaganda, I’ve lived all my life in a forest but never once seen a spirit so either she’s some dumb girl making shit up or she’s as fake as Venus. Also Violet Indigo? I’ve never even heard of her so how impressive could she be - hell I bet she couldn’t even lift a hoe but she might make a good one!” <’Decent’ Man>

The sky began to darken and the rumbling of thunder could be heard in the distance as the sky quickly darkened. It was clear a storm was about to come and as if signalling this the bandits finally made a move.

Before ‘anyone else could act’ a man suddenly ran out behind her with far higher speed than the other bandits. He was fully cloaked in brown and dark green clothing - if Eel was paying attention she would easily tell that this man was the scout who she had pointed out earlier. Even without her, though, one could easily tell this man was a scout. Holding his dagger he aimed straight at the back of her knee with a ‘fast’ stab.

“Heh, now that she’s disabled get the swordswoman Luke.” <’Decent’ Man>

However, before the man could finish what he said ‘luke’ dropped his dagger and clutched his hand with the other while jumping back. It was short lived though as Fuka just swung her blade behind her to catch his neck. With his cloth armour and no dagger how could he survive a bastard sword slashing through his neck?

“Wa-” <’Decent’ Man>

“FUCKING RUN TO THE WAGON - TOM GET GOING TO THE NEXT VILLAGE!” <Eel>

This shout caught everyone off guard and although Fuka was shocked she instantly bolted for the wagon without question. NEVER has Eel been that serious before so whatever caught her attention must be enough. Also, no matter what, you listen to the person you designated as party leader.

The rest were the exact same - only Tom who was actually just here by chance and not a party member took awhile before he began to move.

“Hahaha! We must have used a costly ability to stop luke so they’re now afraid with her being open to attack qu-” <’Decent’ Man>

Before he could even react Fuka looked over her shoulder to look at the man as did everyone else other than Eel who stared at the forest behind and what she saw filled them with dread. A knight's heavy armour that they had all heard the description to filled their vision - a blue suit of armour akin to Photon’s design except for it being feminine, more slender than Photon’s bulky design and in the style of a dragon instead of a lion.

Sparks of purple lightning poured out from her armoured body while those blue eyes looked down with the cruelty of a storm at sea. The man didn’t stop because nothing in particular happened but just feeling her gaze on the back of his neck filled him with utmost dread.

“First I have the foolish old kin-. Apologies; the foolish old ex-king of Orrid endeavour to drug me so he can lay claim to my lands. Then I encounter the {Scaleless Bitch} after retrieving my armaments who laments I should not kill mortal rulers with her usual pointless preaching; meanwhile she’s hanging tens of thousands of their military from the trees like ornaments in December and then, to make this week even better, a foolish boy dares cuss out my sister while I’m chasing that mass murder down? Nay, you needn’t be a boy because, oh, I’m going to have some fun with you child.” <Sovereign of Storms>

After saying that, the infamous sword-spear pierced right through his rear and out the front of his pelvis. This resulted in him screaming in pain as she indeed made it so he wasn’t a man before the other bandits could even react to her voice. When they did they began to scream at her as they charged at her (some choosing charge but in the opposite direction) while some did a mixture of the two but threw their ‘weapons’ at her… Of course, if they couldn’t breach Fuka’s armour they stood no chance against the Sovereign's. They didn’t even reach the armour though as they were hit by little lightning bolts that shot out her body to hit them down - following these petty attempts she lifted her spear up to point the man towards the air.

“[Crucifix of Judgement].” <Sovereign>

The entire village was filled with a purple glow of light - blinding all the villages as the vague shape of a crucifix could be seen made out of the lightning that fell down the sky before-
*ROATHABUM!*
-the thunder swept through the surroundings down all the houses around. The bandits were sent flying with the ones closest to her turning into ash. Even Tom’s carriage flew in the air for a second despite having already taken quite the distance outside the village at this point, The rush of heat even causing his skin to blister. Despite that Eel paid no attention to the others but summoned her sword and looked in the distance with clenched teeth - her draconic eyes in full swing as she glared at the forest. She showed no anger or confidence however; just a nervousness as she climbed up onto the back of the vehicle as if waiting for something. She couldn’t help but yell… Yet who she yelled at made everyone else on the vehicle almost want to tackle her.

“Are you not going to stop him?!” <Eel>

“*Snort* You are a hero are you not? I am not your Mother - she’s too busy raising another princess’ castle as if it would not cause just as much trouble as what I did. Additionally if you cannot even block a hit from {The Bastard} with your abilities you are just another waste like those reincarnated humans.” <Sovereign>

With that said the the Sovereign dashed towards another man to grip his head with her right gauntlet - lift him up into the air before slamming him down on her raised knee. Treating the man like a ragdoll only to make him into a brainless one; his greymatter now plastered across her knee from the man’s caved in skull. She just threw him to the side while casually glancing towards the forest though it seemed like she hardly cared.

Sleep, sleep my little sheeps~♪ It’s time for bed so rest your heads~♪ I come from dark to stop your talk - so end the begging and start the screaming~♪

Just on queue screams rang out in the other direction and soon turned gargled but they never stopped after they started but instead more joined in. Like some sick choir of agony and Eel felt she knew the conductor. As the light calmed down the reason for the screams was viewed and it was quite… Shocking. Those that ran towards the forest were entangled in thick barbs that punctured through their skin; even burrowing into their veins or pours to continue growing inside them to enhance the graphic scene. One of the men was even gripped by a gigantic charcoal black skeleton hand with blood red, volcanic cracks along the hand that fully covered the man. Straps of muscle and flesh still hung off parts of the boney figure showing it didn’t have a peaceful death. Even worse was that out of the cracks came a blood red flame that looked very similar to a certain creature's horrific bloodlust and consumed the man it grabbed. Worse still was that before any of the party could follow the hand to it’s source the creature seemingly escaped from their view. Unable to recognise the monster if it came from but still feeling unsettled.

You chose the first so now the seconds! (Required to fuck upon first choice obvs)
  • MILF Votes: 37 33.3%
  • Older Sister Votes: 29 26.1%
  • Younger Sister Votes: 36 32.4%
  • Brother Votes: 9 8.1%
Total voters: 111
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