Light Gore, Sexual Themes[Masturbation, Bisexual, & Threesome]
Chapter 3 - A New Source
Elicia
“Stupid.” I cursed myself while struggling to reach into my belt pouch and pull out a healing potion, pinned to a tree with Barnabe’s spear piercing my gut, ‘because we underestimated that ‘demon’, now Barnabe and Blaive are dead,’ I thought. Sounds of Ernaut’s screams echo while struggling a few moments to open the vial, after downing the entire contents and dropping the vial the screaming is replaced with silence. My heart begins racing, fearing she’s going to come back for me, I take my dagger and frantically work to break the wooden shaft protruding from my stomach.
As the wooden shaft nears its breaking point, echoes of the creature screaming something in an incomprehensible language can be heard, causing me to shudder in fear at her voice, “ɀ«¬վ╔≈┐∆ꟺⱠ╞╣ↄ ₰⁄╔⌐□ꝈꝚꬿՍɩ▀▫ⱹⱹ!”
Finally breaking it free, I twist my scarf tightly and bite down on it and begin sliding my body forward off the remaining spear shaft, trying to be as quiet as possible. Suppressing the urge to scream into a low grunt and a hard bite on my scarf. As my body slips free of the spear shaft I fall onto the ground with a thud, the intense pain causing me to curl up on my side for several moments as my jaw begins to ache from biting down so hard on my rolled up scarf.
After what felt like an eternity consumed in pain, it began to subside and I started to sit up, spitting out my scarf, noticing the pool of blood on the ground beside me. Reaching down and grabbing another vial from my pouch, I again down the entire potion in one go, moments later feeling my wounds heal somewhat as the pain subsides.
Confirming the bleeding has stopped, sounds of rummaging can be heard coming from the camp while I stand up, feeling my heart pounding in my chest while listening with baited breath the sounds of bottles clinking echoes from the camp. ‘It’s breaking into our Liquor?’ I ponder in confusion, before concluding ‘This creature seems more intelligent than we first assumed, we were stupid to underestimate and treat her like a common monster. I have to warn the Viscount, we might need to dispatch a Sweep Squad.’
I quickly make my way down the river and towards the nearest road, believing it too dangerous to linger, even if it means abandoning our supplies, gear and horse. Clenching my fist in frustration, I think to myself, ‘Damnit Ernaut, I knew one day your greed would get us killed. We should have settled for killing it. Hopefully there’s still time to make it to the rendezvous with Tristan. Please wait for me.’
Lilith
Dropping the rabbit, I wipe my chin feeling satisfied to know it’s possible to drink more than just human blood. Making my way back to the cabin, having passed by the trees I ‘so gracefully’ landed on, the thought of not really having a plan crosses my mind, to which I retort to myself ‘Well I just got here how the hell am I going to have a plan?’ continuing toward the cabin at a loss of what to do just yet.
‘I’d like to get a bit more settled in first, sheesh—‘ stopping my thought for a moment I open my status page again to look at something specific;
{Age [Chronological | Apparent]: 1 day 5 hours, 17 minutes | 23 years}
“I’m barely a day old and I’ve already murdered 3 people.” muttering to myself in disillusion.
Clenching my fist and raising it toward my chest I spout, “Pull yourself together Taylor—” pausing for a moment as my fist impacts my now more voluptuous chest, “Lilith... Lilith, get it together.” trotting toward the cabin with renewed conviction.
*****
Before long I re-enter the cabin, having decided to rest here for the night before going off to explore - and avoid anyone who might come looking for me - my hope being to find some hint of civilization so I can observe them and try to learn more about this world, and not be bored alone in a cabin, that too.
As I walk back into the bedroom, shock overtakes me as all evidence of my ‘outburst’ is gone and the mirror is perfectly intact at its original location. Perplexed I slowly walk up to the mirror to examine it, but find myself enraptured by my own reflection. The smooth black form fitting ‘clothes’ I’d created accentuated my curves until spilling out into a wonderfully silky flowy skirt.
Noticing the stark contrast of the black as night fabric with my bright as snow hair, along with the bright crimson of my irises, realizing that while my wings had been removed, I had forgotten to change the rest of my appearance. Correcting this immediately I focused on imagining my hair as black, one of the people I fought had black hair so it seemed like a safer bet than white.
Within a few moments a satisfied smirk crossed my face as black coloring began to appear at the roots, flowing outward toward the tip of every strand of hair. It was then that I noticed through the mirror, on the bed behind me, the purple and black dress I was wearing before, laying there in pristine condition. Turning sharply to face the bed I approach, lift it up and examine it before walking back towards the mirror, laying down the dress on the back of a nearby chair.
Looking into the mirror at myself, I contemplate my current circumstances, it seems obvious that this cabin was prepared for me in at least some way, and that it is likely Izanami knows exactly what I’m doing, and possibly that she fixed the house and made me a new dress. Surmising that it’s safe to wear, I decided to try it on, intending to memorize it’s design to some extent so I can replicate it later if- rather, when it gets damaged.
It was at this moment that my face became flushed as I realized that in order to change clothes I was going to have to ‘undress’ myself in my mind to remove the shapeshift clothing. In my former life, admiring myself in the mirror was not an uncommon occurrence, especially as I tried to gauge how well hormones and shapewear were adjusting my curves, but it was not quite the same as imagining yourself naked out from under your own clothing.
Notice: Explicit Scene Begins. Sexual Themes, including Masturbation, Bisexual, and Threesome
Reaching up and grabbing my own breasts, I tried to estimate the size and shape without clothing, twisting my lower body sideways as I did this to get a good look of my rear. Suddenly I felt very aware of how wonderfully my new body was, thoughts of other women I had envied came into my mind, as well as those of the handsome and well sculpted men they were with.
Pulled from my thoughts many moments later to the sound of dripping liquid splashing onto the floor, it was then that I realized, looking upon myself in the mirror, that my clothes were gone, wetness running down my legs, with my breast being squeezed in my hands, that my eyes were shimmering a subtle pink glow whilst I felt as if it had been months since I’d last orgasmed and the tension has swollen up inside me just like my nipples as I continue to caress them with my fingers.
Lost in lust, I slink over to the bed and ease myself onto the surface as one of my hands makes it way down toward my newly acquired womanhood, tense with excitement for my first experience of pleasure as a full woman, having been unable to afford surgery ‘downstairs’ before I died.
My fingers tease the lips of my lower domain while reimagining scenes in my head, A woman caressing the hairless chest of a somewhat muscular guy while his member slowly thrusts into her, his arms wrapping around her as she wraps her arms under his, grabbing onto his broad shoulders while wrapping her legs around his firm butt and squeezing him tightly into her with every thrust.
A moan escapes as I pause to catch my breath for a moment before my mind shifts to another imaginary scene where a beautiful femboy is having his cute member sucked by a woman, as she teases around his base with her fingers. My free hand leaves my breast and enters my mouth as I suck on my fingers pretending to be her, and be the one servicing him.
Pausing yet again to catch my breath, I imagine myself releasing his member from my lips and rising to kiss him, as I make out with him in my mind he becomes another beautiful woman, imagining myself making out with her in a three-way, my fingers move faster in between my lower lips as I imagine riding a man’s hard member while continuing to make out with the other woman. My other hand grabbing my breast, squeezing it as if it belonged to the woman in my imagination.
Moans repeatedly escape along with my increasingly heavy breath as I reach my climax and feel my thighs become even wetter, pulling my now soaked hand up to my face, I suck the juice off my fingers without thought, noticing it tastes sweet, while thinking about how cliché that seems as I lay here, movement seeming impossible, while my body feels heavy and lethargic.
Notice: Explicit Scene Ends
Sometime later
Tristan sits beside the fire as his soup cooks, having parked his ‘Magitech Floating Wagon’ more commonly referred to as a ‘Mana-wagon’ not far from the road to make camp. A look of frustration mixed with worry was crossing his face, as he pondered how much longer to remain. He had expected ‘Death Ratchet’ to have arrived several hours ago, if he didn’t leave soon it would be difficult to return to the city before nightfall.
“I hope those fools haven’t gone on another one of Ernaut’s wild goose chases.” Tristan mutters to himself with annoyance. Walking over toward the mana-wagon he opens a box and pulls out a bowl and small spoon, before serving himself some of the soup. Sitting back down to enjoy his meal he begins to eat.
A few minutes later, as he is almost finished with his current bowl, he can hear screaming that sounds like Elicia. Quickly putting down his bowl he runs toward the road, and the screaming.
“Tristan!! Tristan Please!!” plead the shouting woman as he quickened his pace towards the figure in the distance.
“Elicia!” Tristan shouts back as he closes in enough to make out her facial details. “Are you alright?! Where is the rest of the crew? Did you walk here?”
At his barrage of questions Elicia raised her hand signalling him to wait with this questioning, as she slowed, trying to catch her breath. “I— hah, we— hah, I’m alri— huff, alright.” Gasping for breath for a moment, she continued “We ran into a monster—” she huffed, “something new,”
Tristan interrupted her, “New monster? Where are the other—”
Elicia held up her hand to silence Tristan before continuing, “All dead. They’re all dead. This is important,” she said as she looked Tristan in the eyes with a seriousness he’s only seen a handful of times in the years he’s known her.
Elicia continued, “This thing is something more than just a monster. It looked like a human woman, with black feathered wings,” seeing the question in Tristan’s eyes she held her first two fingers toward his lips as he began to speak, “It wasn’t a harpy. It drank blood, like a Vampire. It walked out in the sunlight completely fine.” her eyes’ serious demeanor drilled into his sharply with that last line.
Before allowing him to speak again she stepped closer, lowering her hand while staring into Tristan’s eyes with seriousness and fear. “There’s more.” she said, “It spoke in some strange tongue.” pausing for a moment before finishing, “She’s intelligent.”
Tristan’s eyes went wide, “Not an infected?” pausing for a moment for Elicia to reply, she simply nodded in agreement as his mouth gaped open then closed, he looked at her seriously and spoke, “You realize what you’re saying?”
Elicia looked at him before looking into the sky for a moment then returning to his gaze. “A new Source.” she replied.
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Yes Votes: 84 92.3%
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No Votes: 2 2.2%
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Not sure Votes: 5 5.5%
MOAR! (keep writing plz. :* thx. luv u.)
Thank you, I'm so happy to hear people are enjoying my story!
I got the biggest grin on my face reading this comment
I'm working on chapter 4 now, I've got some ideas I'm quite happy about, I just need to figure a couple things out and then I can start writing and editing. Hoping to get it done by the weekend. If I'm lucky I'll have enough to make two chapters.
<3 /hug (MOAR GRINS!)
It is hard to read. Try to be more succinct. And shorter setences.
Oof. Maybe when I get to re-editing & rewriting it.
I fear what you may think of the later chapters. I 'feel' like I can write somewhat better, however, brevity is my greatest weakness, nay, I dare say, it is my one true nemesis, henceforth I hath battled my entire life, drained of energy and desire to continue, I, at some point, simply accepted things as there were.
Alas, I seem forever cursed, with the weight of verbosity.
@Freesia.Cutepearl Well, many readers seem to enjoy your novel nevertheless. But I dare say your style is heavy and ponderous. It makes it hard to follow. If I edited your chapters I would push them below 1.5k words. Just saying.
@Assurbanipal_II Hah! I guess we have opposite tastes, really. I enjoyed Schwarz but I did find it.. not really hard to read, but, most of it felt like it sped past like a blur, only a few scenes conjured my imagination into creating a backdrop, the rest it felt no different to the start, a void, devoid of anything.
Liked the characters though, Aurora, the two elves, and the human they bantered with. Also thought it was a super cute scene with the cookies.
I do have to admit, that, right now, for sure, Lilith's stuff is VERY heavy with the pondering, she is stuck completely in her hear and can't talk to anyone yet. Hopefully, things can improve after that.
Also, I am not opposed to going back to further refine things later. Really, it's been bugging me a bit, I know the first few chapters are messy, but I feel like I want more experience before I tackle them, but they're also the first thing people see.. so.. AHH?!?!?! Brain meltdown...
@Freesia.Cutepearl I never claimed that my story is hard to follow, quite the contrary.
Someone wrote even in a review
"The only real issues I have with the novel is the execution. Your first handful of chapters suffer from some redundancy in your sentences and word choice, making the reading experience a bit clunky from the beginning. Some of the sentence structure doesn't quite flow properly and makes me, as a reader, second guess the intent behind what's being said.
Mainly in your first few chapters, you get a bit too verbose and heavy handed with your descriptions. I appreciate that you want to lay out a proper setting for the reader, but it gets really close to purple prose and comes off like you're trying to overwhelm the reader with your vocabulary. There's nothing wrong with having a robust vocabulary but you can show your command of the language without being too wordy. "
@Freesia.Cutepearl
But the point is, your writing suffers from information overload. So much fluff, all feels just like a void. I can't imagine anything because there is so much glacial action. No movement as the characters seem to freeze in time.
@Assurbanipal_II Eek I never meant.. AAH No I was.. err.. fjdfgu
I only meant, it seems we like different things? I really don't know. I like it fine, though I don't mean.. eeek.
Huh.. purple prose? I didn't see what you have previously, so I can't say. Was that a common thing?
I know I have many issues I'm working on. (Like one of my first comments was really good advice n show don't tell, which I'm trying to be more mindful of, but mixing some, as someone outline in a post on the forums, "Show and Tell" being a good middleground? idk)
I hope I'm not... purple, I already ramble enough. I don't need to be changing color now too. Sheesh.
@Assurbanipal_II Ok Speedracer. You go zoom noom noomy vroom vroom
Meanwhile I'll be over here like, Haha ice go freeze
hahaha. Really though, fair enough. You're the first person to, unless I'm, blind, which, I totally am, blind as bat, hell blinderererer even. Anywhosit, I think you're the first person to really tell me that. Not had that feedback before, not, as you laid it out, that I can recall?
I even had someone saying they couldn't really think of much to remove from my description of a room, that it would make it worse? Idk.. mixed feedback is fun~! Yay~! Excuse me while I explode my head. BRB
@Freesia.Cutepearl If I am purple, you surely are. But my advice to support your show don't tell, avoid using dialogue tags like say, reply, think, etc.
Just state how things are.
You can deduce much from the context.
‘I’d like to get a bit more settled in first, sheesh—‘ stopping my thought for a moment I open my status page again to look at something specific;
=
‘I’d like to get a bit more settled in first, sheesh ...‘ I open my status page to look again.
An ellipsis ... already expresses a sudden action while the simple verb look already implies that you look for something. Stating that you look for something specific is redundant information.
=
‘I’d like to get settled first, sheesh ...‘ I open my status page to look again.
If you eliminate even more. 50% reduced word count, but you still say the same.
@Freesia.Cutepearl Are you okay? You seem to break down.
@Assurbanipal_II That makes some sense, though, I included 'specific' because she was looking for that one item, her current "age" in the world, and ignoring the rest of her sheet, before finishing her thought, though she finished a bit differently than she first planned.
It's really hard, honestly, I've had times where I tried to make shorter phrases, leave more to guesswork, as you suggest, and had complaints about things being too ambiguous and hard to understand. So I really don't know. Uggghhhhhhhhh
In cases like these, I'm afraid if I don't say something specific, it might be taken wrong, like that she looked at more of her sheet. I made assumptions before, only to find out that's not what people perceived. Lately, I've even re-written lines with extra words to be more specific because of it. I'm sure I still miss things, though.
@Assurbanipal_II
Are you okay? You seem to break down.
I'm fine, it's only the illusion that I was actually doing halfway decent that's breaking down, everything else is perfectly fine. We're fine. It's all fine. People still enjoy things right? I can't be perfect. I try so hard sometimes.
I suppose it's to be expected of the first ever thing you write, that it's going to have so many issues your head shall spin. Spin spin spin weeeeeeee spin. ahhh.... well. I have lots of plot ideas to explore, plenty of time to slowly improve my writing I guess.
I've been so focused on plot, I thought my writing only needed tweaks an polishing. one thing a time, I suppose. Thank you for telling me though, how long, would I have languished in ignorance otherwise?
(!) Notice: New Objective > Reduce wordcount while maintaining meaning.
(!) Notice: Total Objectives now exceeds the available memory, please download more RAM.
@Freesia.Cutepearl
Fair enough. As you might have noticed, I am someone who leaves lots of interpretation to my statements and prefers a short communication style. I write like I talk basically.
@Freesia.Cutepearl Maybe I should take more from your wordiness as you said my writing is void. Indeed, I can see why you say so. I indeed use little descriptions.
@Assurbanipal_II I talk like I write like I talk while I write as I talk when writing with talking but while also writing and... huh?
@Freesia.Cutepearl You are super cute, but also super confusing.
@Assurbanipal_II I didn't mean it in a bad way, btw, just to, ugh, try and be brief but explain? (Ok, having written this now, it is not all what I expected but my brain did this and I wanna keep it.)
I see Aurora in the void. I see Aurora in the Carriage. I see Aurora in the void, with distant trees surrounded by rain. On and on she runs, void all around, only fog and rain.
Caught, frightened, the field exists, wet, dreary, dark, stabbed through the heart.
The void retreats, the forest exists, the assassins exist, the purple glow of mana lights up the night, the forest shudders, as to do the men. Words echo. Tensions Flare. Blood flies through the air. Fire, Fire, and more Fire, and Inferno engulfs the forest.
I see Aurora, queen of the void, surrounded only by ash and smoke.
More void with distant trees. On and On. A Carriage, overturned, eventually, she sees.
Clean Clothes she dons, in this quiet, rainy forest, strewn with bodies, along the road.
Dolls in hand, flee does she, till down yonder road, a new carriage does she see.
Elves bicker, soldiers march, dirt and mud cover her, a blanket from the truth.
Rescue, chatter, cookies devoured. No void exists, a forest, a road, a carriage, four foreground characters, and some unknown background escorts.
A cookie returned, to warm the elven heart, as the end we reach.
@Freesia.Cutepearl
Do you know there are two Auroras? I guess so. But you are right.
My summary of your work.
Transgirl beaten to death by police.
Izanami.
Ends up as a loli succubus vampire.
Flies around and kills random adventures.
Return to her room and dedicates her to self satisfaction.
More advice, dispense of all the warnings. They ruin the immersion brutally by ripping you out of the story and reminding you read a novel.
Same with POW changes. The names make it clearer, but it also weakens the immersion.
@Assurbanipal_II I might change the warnings, I commented on it in notes and comments before.
I kind of prefer being explicitly clear. I absolutely dislike when things are ambiguous.
Like several stories just have lines of dialog back to back with no indication of who is talking. Or they make POV changes with no real notice. It's one thing I cannot stand, personally. I want to be my absolute best to make sure no one is ever confused about who is talking.
I make a point of trying to continually reference things during dialog or descriptions to make sure people know who is talking or part of a description. I think this is one thing I just, feel like I have to do it.
Really, I didn't intend to summarize your whole story, it just kinda happened. My brain be weird.
The whole bit with her caretaker/teacher talking about her and the backstory was nice. I feel like the pace of my story is glacial compared to yours, then again I'm also really trying to focus on the details of people and the characters, and all the messy thoughts, confused musing, etc, that goes on.
I've not been too concerned with trying to advance the plot as it should do that itself naturally. I've only tried to make sure Lilith doesn't have much of a reason to just hole up by herself along for a long time.
I'm really curious what you'll think of my wordiness when I get to more interesting things. I'm quite happy with many of my descriptions of the building/room/etc in the last several chapters. And yes... like.. six or seven 3k to 5k word chapters do take place in just one building. and at least 3 of them in just one room. eek. *hides*
P.S. NOT LOLI VAMPIRE! 23!!!! SHE'S 23!!! Damnit... nooo Halp!
@Assurbanipal_II P.S. Thank you for slogging through my icky. I guess I need to go read your "Para Bellum" now
@Freesia.Cutepearl
We are just different types then.
@Assurbanipal_II Yis. Tis Likely.
Also. I've not watched Naruto. Your other Story is in that world? I have no clue about it.
Still, I will peek in.
@Freesia.Cutepearl It is construct so that only minimal knowledge is required. You only need to know a few characters and then you are ready to go.
The character has no knowledge of the plot as well. So you know as much as her.