I’m still having trouble wrapping my head around it. It’s a bit surreal, sure, but isn’t this going to be a problem...?

I made a very fast dinner for all three of us, less for Sam, obviously, but as the tiny girl eats her meal she’s able to fully converse with me and answer any questions I might have.

We talk briefly about the days Sam and I have spent together already and Zutiria takes them in, registering all the little details. We explain that we’ve been testing the magical effects of my semen, a weird dinner conversation for sure but if the little lady minds she doesn’t tell us, and we also talk a bit about myself and my goals for the guild.

She remains silent the entire time, verbally at least. Zutiria continues to respond via what I assume to be a low level illusion spell, creating the words she wants me to read as her response conveniently in my field of vision. Curiously, even if Sam shouldn’t be able to read the words from her position she is able to respond just as well. This is why I believe it’s an illusion spell. I’m assuming that the mage is broadcasting the words to both of us and we don’t see the overlapping words because, again, they’re transmitted twice individually.

This is a very odd method of communication and I finally bring myself to ask the burning question despite how aware I am of its potential rudeness. “So, Zutiria. You can’t speak? Or you won’t?”

‘I am unaware. I haven’t spoken a word in a very long time and if I tried now I have no idea whether I would even be able to or not.’ Zutiria says while eating her baked potato in the most delicate, dainty manner possible.

Sam takes on the appearance of a concerned older sister and gives me a worried look. “Don’t ask her too much about this kinda stuff, Boss. It’s really personal for her...”

‘He’s fine, little one. If I’m to remain by your side and stay here, the Master will need to know more about me. Ask, and I will answer.’ Her cold blue gaze stares right at me, letting me know it’s ok to proceed.

“Do you mind a very blunt question, then?” I put my glasses away into my pocket, taking in the clarity of the adorable mage in full.

‘No need, I have read the letter. I am well aware that we will be sharing a bed and that it will end in necessary sexual intercourse. I came prepared for that eventuality and humbly ask that you treat me gently as I am entirely inexperienced. Allow me to apologize in advance if you find my body or my skill lacking.’ Even as she says this Zutiria’s expression doesn’t change a single time, remaining as unblemished by emotion as ever.

I blush heavily, unpacking that all at once. “N-NO! That wasn’t where I was going with that...!” 

Sam laughs hard and hits the table with her fist, making all the mugs, plates and cutlery jump with a loud clatter. “What’d I tell ya, Boss! Another virgin for your collection!”

I think I see Zutiria smile, but I’m too embarrassed to tell for sure or not. “Damn it, Sam...” I sigh and watch as she sticks her tongue out at me.

Sam’s hearty attitude dies down just a bit and she puts her elbow on the table to learn closer to Zutiria. For a moment she’s dead serious. “About that, though. You sure it’s not gonna be weird... doing stuff to each other? You and me, Zuzu? I mean, you practically...”

It occurs to me now, a lot later than it probably should have, that Zutiria is much younger looking than Sam. A nervous sweat pours from my brow.

‘I have always loved you, Sammy. If you had asked me, I would have done anything to please you, after you came of age of course.’ Sam tears up at her ‘words’ and hugs the petite mage, who responds by petting her golden, tousled hair once more. 

Wait a second, that didn’t sound quite right. None of this sounds fucking right now that I’m thinking about it- this entire time the little girl’s been mature, collected and had Sam wrapped around her tiny finger. Sam respected Zuzu, and clearly saw her as something other than a little sister which is what I initially assumed. Not only that, but if she was as young as she looked would Sam REALLY be inviting her into our bed?!

“Zutiria. How old are you?” My eye twitches from stress.

‘35.’

I blink. 

“35?”

35. The petite girl hands me a bronze ranked hero-ing license identical to Sam’s, and indeed, the year listed as her birthday would make her 35 as of now.

I blink again, harder.

Sam blurts out laughing. “You... Boss, were you thinking I would actually invite some little kid to come have sex with us?!”

‘Ha.’ Zutiria laughs as well, though her cold face sure as hell doesn’t look it.

I let out a deep sigh of relief and brush off Sam’s jab. “So when you said you haven’t talked in a long time...”

‘The last words I spoke were on the day of my 8th birthday, 27 years ago. As for my appearance, many magic users age at a much slower pace. This is what I looked like when I was 18, and nothing has changed since. I hope it’s to your liking Guild Master, Sir.’

I don’t know what I’m having a harder time believing, her age or her not having talked for 27 fucking years. Does she even have vocal cords anymore, or are they vestigial by this point? I need to steer this conversation back to what I was trying to ask earlier.

Just as the little lady finished up the last of her dinner, I get on with it and asked directly. “Do you rely on non-verbal magic, then?”

‘Yes. I can do a few tricks with runes as well, but they’re incredibly situational and not suited for combat.’

“Forgive me. I’m just concerned because, well... I’m an avid reader of anything I can get my hands on, especially if it’s about the many types of adventurers or magic. I’m only worried because by all accounts in my readings, non verbal magic doesn’t bring out even 1/100th of a mage’s power.”

‘That is correct. Zutiria nods her head. I expect to be a complete and total liability able to contribute almost nothing on any given quest. Thank you for taking care of me.’ The little mage bows her head politely towards me and I shoot a sudden, threatening glance at Sam.

“I thought you said your friend was a super powerful black mage, Sam.”

The Princess begins to panic, “She IS, Boss! She’s like... one of the strongest mages the Kingdom has ever seen! I wouldn’t lie to you, would I...?!” 

I sigh, knowing that the ‘not a Princess’ Princess was nothing but one huge lie, but not feeling up to calling her out on it.

‘She is correct, for what it’s worth. I don’t think there’s another magic user alive who’s more powerful than me.’ As I read her floating words, a chill runs down my spine. That cold glare of hers is dead serious, she’s not joking. Whether or not she’s telling the truth, Zutiria certainly believes it to be.

“If you’re so strong then why don’t you... you know.” It gets awkward as I desperately want to ask her about the reason for her silence, but can’t bring myself to just up and do it.

Zutiria, at least, takes it on herself to answer me. ‘Speech is a very scary thing, Guild Master. Words don’t always mean what you think they mean, and once spoken they can never be unspoken. You have to live the rest of your life with the reality of your words... knowing you chose them and could have at any time chosen better ones, or better yet, chosen to have never said a single thing at all.’

Even though I cannot hear her voice, I feel the pain behind the words she so delicately chose. “Shit. You really are older than me, huh...?” I nervously laugh out of embarrassment. “That was really well ‘spoken’.”

Sam takes on a defensive, angry look and glares at me for the first time in our relationship. She pulls the emotionless doll into her bouncing titties and cradles her like one would a frightened animal. “STOP BEING MEAN TO ZUZU, BOSS! You’re making her sad!”

‘I am fine.’ Zutiria confirms and looks up at Sam, face turning blue from lack of air thanks to Sam’s deathly tit squeeze. The Princess releases her and Zuzu gasps for air, giving me the first tiny hint of her soft, breathy voice.

“I promise I’m not normally this rude, Miss. You see, my Guild is in ruins and I was told we’d have a powerful new recruit coming to stay with us... I was hoping that... well, you’d be able to help bring in more income here.” I sigh, and catch Sam looking a bit upset, too. She clearly feels bad about bringing someone ‘useless’ to my attention but I’ve already found myself taken with the little mage. She’s charming, elegant, incredibly knowledgeable and cute as a button to boot.

I’m not about to go kicking her out over something stupid like how useful she is or not.

Then, to my surprise, Zutiria manifests a new set of words for me to read. ‘Would you like a demonstration of my powers?’

“Sure, I- yeah. Yeah that would be nice.” I nod my head and place my glasses back on in the event that either girl leaves my line of sight. “Follow me, please.”

To my surprise, as I turn to lead them away the petite girl grabs ahold of my hand, clutching at it with her tiny fingers. She smiles up at me- an actual smile- and the words ‘Thank you for dinner, Sir. You are a wonderful chef.’ appear for me to read. With her free hand she summons her staff and begins to walk forward with me in tow as she does so.

I blush. Hard. She’s something completely different to Sam, I don’t think the brash tomboy could elicit this kind of reaction from me whatsoever, but Zutiria is infectiously cute and it’s hard for my bitter, cynical heart not to melt when she looks at me that way.

Sam follows us and giggles, sporting a shiteating grin. “I think Daddy likes you, Zuzu.”

“Sam-” I fight the urge to call her a little brat but I’m interrupted by Zutiria once more.

‘That’s ok. I think I like him, too.’ As she says this her face goes back to its typical neutral expression making her as hard to read as ever. What an adorable mystery.

I lead the girls out back where we used to have a small training ground set up for when the Guild was more active. Like the rest of this place, I stopped giving a shit a few years back and most of the equipment was strewn all around haphazardly. Now, only a single training dummy stood a vigilant watch over the perimeter.

I bow and point towards the dummy, offering it to Zutiria. “Feel free to have at it, use a low level spell if it’s easier for you.”

Sam apparently does not save her love taps exclusively for me, and playfully punches the little mage in the shoulder. “You got this, Zuzu!” She cheers her on, despite the poor target wincing in tremendous pain as the punch connects. Zutiria clearly is much, much more delicate than I am and Sam’s cluelessness baffles me to the point of a deep sigh.

‘Alright, thank you, Sir. I’ll use an entry level fire spell, then.’ Burnhit. Zutiria raises her heart staff and I can feel the distinct, powerful sensation of mana pulsing through the air. What happens next is thoroughly underwhelming.

The little mage closes her eyes and I assume recites the incantation mentally. She points her magic staff at the training dummy and a tiny little ember of fire no larger than a lemon bursts into existence at the tippy top.

Instead of shooting, it lazily glides over to its target and poofs up into a very, very tiny explosion. No damage was done to the dummy besides the tiniest of scorch marks, and it lives to take damage another day.

Zutiria, for whatever reason, makes a determined face and pumps her fist into the air as if congratulating herself. A proud little blush appears on her cheeks and Sam rushes to celebrate her enormous accomplishment.

“Great job, Zuzu! You did really good for not using the incantation or whatever!” Her highness hoists the little mage up into the air and hugs her. Zutiria shows no reaction.

“That... was not good. I’m sorry, Zutiria.” I’m trying my best not to sound disappointed or rude. Maybe her non verbal magic will get stronger after she’s had my semen? Yes, I have to focus on the positives here. I’m a smart man. Zutiria, like Sam, is a new weapon for me to utilize. I can work with this, neither of them are perfect but if I can work on Sam’s faults then why not this girl’s?

Then, Zutiria says something that surprises both myself and the young Princess. She struggles and holds on tightly to her staff with both of her tiny hands, and a small bead of sweat forms on her forehead. Her eyes stare down to the dirty earth of the training grounds below, and her lips tremble as if trying to open them but failing very hard.

‘Sir. I’m sorry to have failed you- especially after everything you’ve already done for me. Giving me a place in your home and a job, making me a delicious dinner, and most importantly, taking care of my dear Sammy. It’s more than someone like me deserves. So I would like you to witness as I... attempt... to speak... out loud.’

Sam’s eyes shoot open wide as can be and she looks to the mage. “WHOA whoa whoa- Zuzu you don’t have to do this! I-I’ve never seen you try to talk a single time in all the years I’ve known you... you don’t need to start now!”

“Zutiria, please don’t go out of your way just for my sake!” I rush to her and place my large hands on her tiny shoulders and look her in the eyes. “I’m not going to pretend to know why you stopped talking, but... I’m not worth you hurting yourself over. Don’t stress so much about this. It’s fine- YOU’RE fine. You’re welcome to stay with us regardless of your ability.”

Zutiria looks up at me with her tranquil, distant gaze and a tiny smile manifests. ‘Saying that just makes me want to try even harder, Sir. Move aside.’

Sam and I share a concerned look with each other before nodding.

I move out of the way and feel the air run thick with mana once more as the little one raises her magical staff into the air. I’ve... never felt such raw, untapped magical power before.

The overwhelming pressure of it causes me to break out in sweat and gasp for breath as the energy washes over me in waves. Zutiria’s mouth opens fully, and she takes a deep breath of air herself to match mine, and the tiniest little spark appears at the tip of her magical weapon.

I brace myself for what’s about to happen, my eyes pick up all the signs that this is not going to be a tiny little campfire when ignited, it’ll be a wicked flame that consumes the world. I almost break down and beg her to stop before she dooms us all, but before I can Zutiria begins to ‘speak’.

“...HhhhhhhrrrrIIIIACK!! ACH- GAHCKK! AHHH... Hhhhaaa...” It felt like she was trying to say something but not only did it come out completely wrong, but it caused the poor girl’s little vocal cords to have a fit and tear themselves up in a coughing episode.

The spark that would have fueled an inferno dissipates and the mage drops her staff, her hands immediately running straight to her throat and holding it cautiously.

“ZUZU!” Sam rushes back to her side and I’m not far behind.

“You little fool!” I’m struck with worry and drop down on one knee to see eye to eye with her. “I told you not to do this for my sake... I-”

Zutiria smiles up at me- a real, genuine full smile. Her eyes are teary and exhausted but she surprises me deeply by giving me a tiny thumbs up. ‘Looks like I still have vocal cords after all, Sir. Just need to keep practicing, I suppose.’

Sam gasps deeply before tearing up herself and bending down, wrapping the three of us together in an intensely savage bear hug from which neither I nor Zutiria can hardly breathe. “I can’t believe it, Zuzu, you... you actually tried! And it was so good!!”

“You really weren’t kidding about how strong you were. For just a minute there, I could feel it. I feel bad for even doubting you.” I laugh and pull out of the hug before it irreparably damaged my rib cage, and reach out to tousle Zutiria’s hair the same way I do for Sam.

Zutiria looks up at me though with a curious face, and for a second I think that I upset her. My fears are unfounded when she spells out, ‘What do you mean you ‘could feel it’...?’

“I could see and feel the mana pressure in the air, and looking at you gave me a pretty good indication that the spell you were preparing was going to be very powerful.” I tilt my head and scratch my pointed beard. “You felt it too, right Sam?”

Sam obviously isn’t following along with Zutiria’s reasoning and doesn’t see the big deal, so she casually blows it off. “All I saw was this little cutie raising her staff up. Didn’t feel anything off or nothin’. What’s the big deal?”

Zutiria studies me once more with fierce determination, almost to the point of unnerving me. Eventually she points to my eyes with her staff and then surprisingly reaches down and grabs my dick as if it were a totally normal thing to do, then asks, ‘Are you sure these are the only magic things about you? You’re not a mage and you haven’t practiced any forms of magic, right? Normal people shouldn’t be able to pick up things like that.’

I blush from her spontaneous non-sexual groping of my dick and shake my head. “No, never.” A nervous sweat bead falls down my temple for what feels like the millionth time tonight. “It’s probably more to do with my eyes, I guess. It’s not like I have a manual about them and I’ve never known the full extent of what I can do, you know.”

Zutiria looks to Sam, and then smiles before tugging the warrior’s shoulder strap downwards. This makes her lean down low enough that Zutiria can give the young Princess an adorable kiss on her cheek. ‘Thank you, Sammy. You’ve given me the single most exciting research subject I could ever dream of undertaking.’

Sam blushes heavily and plays it off, but seeing her react to the little lavender cutie is adorable. “Oh you know me, I saw this magic fuckin’ old dude and was like ‘shit I need to tell Zuzu’! No big deal.” She laughs and leaves out the part where she deliberately invited her closest companion over with the explicit goal of expanding my fledgling harem.

Zutiria turns to face me once more and a slight blush forms on her cheeks making her look stunningly beautiful when coupled with her cold, icy stare and the pink of her lips. ‘I’m sorry, Sir. But now you have my complete attention. I won’t be leaving until I know everything there is to know about you, and you won’t be able to be rid of me even if you tried.’

The little lady grabs me by my collar and delicately glides me down to her face where she then promptly gifts me the pleasure of her first romantic kiss, and my face burns with embarrassment. Sam over on the sideline giggles and cat-calls us but I’m deaf to her teasing as I kiss Zutiria back.

Her lips are soft- delicate, just like her. Nowhere near as full as Sam’s, but they are just as sweet as they meekly tease and play with my own.

Regrettably, our kiss eventually ends and Zutiria looks at me with another of her gentle smiles. Soon afterwards her eyes shine with a quiet, intellectual curiosity. ‘Now then- let’s start the research. I believe there was a mention of magical semen, yes?’