I glared at the monkey. It noticed my look and hopped toward the river, staring at me smugly as it retreated. Narrowing my eyes, I put my hands on my hips and stared. The monkey stood up on its back legs and put its hands on its hips, too, chuffing as it mimicked me.

"Are you mocking me?" I demanded, inclining my head.

It chittered incoherently, raising its chin as I had. I stepped forward, it stepped forward. I put one hand on the opposite shoulder, it did, too. I put the other hand on the other shoulder, it followed me. I raised my left hand on the left side of my head, then the right one on the right side. It copied me once more. We stared each other down as we both wiggled up and down.

I couldn't hold back the laugh building up in my throat so I let it out, cackling loudly into the quiet forest. The monkey started, confused, but it looked proud that it had 'won' our little standoff and started beating on its chest. It hadn't, but I let it have its moment; it was cute watching it jump around on the riverbank.

"Alright, buddy," I said, walking toward it. I bent down into a crouch in front of it, sticking out my hand to shake. It stared at it for a second before cautiously reaching out to take it. We shook. "You've got yourself a deal."

⌈Error. DNA required of both parties to sign the contract.⌋

Sighing, I plucked out a piece of my hair - glad I'd been taken before I did the summer shave - and held it out in my palm. The monkey looked at me strangely, hopping back a few steps.

"Come on," I urged it. "I just need a piece of your hair and then we can complete the contract."

Its furry face dropped into a suspicious frown and it crossed its arms defiantly. I groaned. Why couldn't this thing be easy to trick like children? I just wanted to get this over with!

"Look, you want that home, don't you?" It shrugged, looking away from me. "You wanna be carried when you're not at work?" It dragged its foot through the dirt, still not facing me. "How about the qi? There's lots of it around here."

It glanced up at me, obviously tempted but still unwilling to give in. Good gosh, this thing was stubborn. Why was giving up a piece of hair so much of a burden to it? It had a whole bunch covering its entire body! It's not like I was asking to tear out one of the stones growing out of it; that would be painful.

"The name, then." Its eyes snapped up to my face and my own, scrutinizing them with surprising intelligence. Bingo. "Yeah...the name's really what you want, isn't it?" The monkey nodded.

"So just one hair - just one! And you'll get the name. The best name ever, I swear it."

The creature hesitated, mulling over its options. But the alluring fantasy of getting a name convinced it. It yanked out a hair on its arms and dropped it in my palm. Grinning, I closed my hand into a fist and accepted the contract once more.

⌈Contract between Austin Wu and Unnamed Stone-Shaper Monkey accepted and bound.⌋

"You won't regret this...ugh..." What did I call it? Her? Was it a girl monkey? It kinda looked like a girl monkey. I couldn't see any boy parts through the fur and its chest was kinda lumpy. "Nun? Yeah, Nun."

It was a terrible name. An absolutely awful one. But Nun didn't know that. Instead, she came hopping over to me and hugged my leg...

...And then I learned that Nun was decidedly not a she.