Trying to calm herself, Darren wiped a tear from her Cerulean eyes, and spoke with a somewhat more serious tone.

 

"All jokes aside Kyle, it looks like I will have to take you up on that offer for a Burhka. Unlike Miss. Barren here, I'd rather not be kidnapped by some collector looking for these stats."

 

She waved her left hand at Chris, then using her right, followed the contours of her body to emphasize her alluring figure. She continued with her now completely serious talk.

 

"With the fact that each of our race descriptions mention sex to some degree, I fear that our Isekai isn't just some Pen-And-Paper-rip-off Isekai, but a Pen-And-Paper-rip-off-HAREM Isekai. And IF, I can't stress this enough, IF we are the main cast, then that means YOU, Kyle, are the Harem lord and us 'a part of your Harem'."

 

She pointed an accusing finger at me as if it was somehow my fault we were in this mess. Chris clutched her mouth as if she was going to hurl, her face going pale. With wide eyes, she gave us her revelation on our situation.

 

"Th-That explains why YOU stayed as Tah'Styr, My gender bending, And Kyle getting turned into a semen-demon of an elf. What kind of sick fuck would do this to us? And why us?"

 

"Hold on there Chris. We don't have enough information to go off just yet to confirm whether we are the MCs, just side mobs, or capture targets for the real MC. What's making things very uncomfortable is, I don't know which one I'd rather want to be the answer.

 

If it's the first it means at some point we're going to fall in love with Kyle, and he gets to fuck us. We get to have plot armor preventing anything TOO egregious from happening, and we most likely get a happy ending with all of our sister-wives. Unnnless~ this is some hentai where some Ugly Bastard gets to NTR us at some point. *uhkg*.

If it's the second, then we are most likely going to be screwed unless we can get to a capital city where we can live as just some simple background characters walking in the streets going about our daily lives. Fuck trying to complete the end goal being mobs who have zero plot armor.

Lastly, IF we are capture targets for the real MC then Kyle is most likely going to have some tragic ending. Whether he starts to turn corrupt where he abuses us, then the MC saves us from him; or he ends up being merked; and you, and I, Chris, ride off into the sunset on an adventure with some short-cropped-black-haired-trench-coat-wearing-Beta-boy. We get plot armor, and have a happy ending.

 

Again, I have NO IDEA, which is preferred, but even with these options there are still so many different ways our story can go south real fast. Add to the fact that I don't see any real 'Cheat' abilities on any of us, things aren't looking too peachy."

 

Having things spelled out for you is a rather uncomfortable feeling. Darren wasn't speaking from lack of knowledge either. On Earth He was a huge weeb that consumed more light-novels than a gamer does with Doritos. If he was saying things weren't looking good I could 100% believe him. The options were all quite shit as well. Sure Darren and Chris' avatar looks hot, but I KNOW they are/were men, and I have known them for several years now. So eventually, either I was going to "get merked" as Darren put it, or I was going to loosen my morals and fock them both.

-Get killed, or fock my best friends. Tough call, tough call-

 

I swear Chris could read my mind as she summed up all of our options.

 

"You're saying either fuck Kyle willingly; or keep our new found maidenhood, and end up playing a twisted version of Russian roulette where most results end up with either Kyle or all of us dying horrible deaths... fuck man, this is more fucked up than I thought an Isekai would be."

 

"Well I don't know about you two, but I think it would be best if we were to at least find the nearest civilization. I know I'd rather talk about getting focked, or not focked, if we were at least safe-ish from the local wildlife. And as you said Darren, We don't have nearly enough information about this world to base any fears or hopes in our hypothesis.

Now, I may not know much about anime or manga like you do Darren, But what I do know is MMOs. And with the fact that our [Menu] gestures work, I'm guessing that other GUI options work. Such aass...[Party up]."

 

I finger gunned both friends, and then in the same motion of "Firing" the "guns" used the thumbs to point to me.

 

 

 

Chris, and Darren's avatar names, health, and a portrait, appeared in the top left corner of my vision.

 

"Really? Couldn't actually think of a clever joke, so you decided to name it 'a clever joke'? Also, seeing as the menus seem to keep on referring to us as our IGNs, I think it is in best interest to start to do so ourselves, at least while in public. To add more merit to our personas, and such. You may call me, Tah'Styr of Sheol, and I hope to god there isn't an actual place here named 'Sheol'."

 

"Well miss fancy pants, trying to find a clever joke about an elf, a dwarf, and a tiefling, isn't easy unless they're walking into a bar. Well if we're going to be adding surnames then I guess, Onimous of the Hidden-Leaf Village' will be sufficient. It even has a somewhat 'elven mystique' about it. Also why the Hebrew version of hell?"

 

"Hey Ky-Onimous, I thought you said you don't watch anime? And taking names from Judeo-Christian Mythology makes sense. Myth-land used themes from almost every other mythos besides Judeo-Christianity, so chances of Sheol being a place is far less than let's say, Hades, for example."

 

"Chris, or should I say Fahkir, I never said that I DON'T watch anime, only that I am NOT a weeb. Biiig difference. Tah'Styr over here dedicates almost her whole existence on consuming Jap-culture, while I, on the other hand, only partake in Jap-culture on occasion. No, you see my diminutive friend; Games are where my dedication lies."

 

"And that dedication is also why you two are still virgins. For I, Fahkir of T-The... Misty-Mountain, have already laid bear with one of the opposite sex!"

 

"Hey I resemble that remark! I'll have you know the only reason why women wouldn't get with me was that they couldn't handle my chocolatey D-"

 

*Rustle* Rustle* *Plonk*

 

Just across the small meadow that we were arguing in, a bush rustled, and from it a blue semi-translucent sphere hopped out, interrupting Tah'Styr's rebuttal. It looked roughly the size of a soccer ball with a darker sphere in the middle that was the size of a baseball. Essentially, it was a slime. And this slime just so happens to be on a collision course with us.

The sound of dice being tossed could be heard. From where, I could not tell you.