Several days had passed since their encounter with the Jötūn and Lucy and Nikki were cuddling on the couch on the main floor, the taller girl had the small cat girl wrapped in her arms, they were both smiling watching a cute romantic comedy on the floating television that circled in the air around the couch, much to Lucy’s amusement.
Suddenly the doorbell rang, which startled Lucy slightly. “Who could that be?” Nikki murmured to herself before getting up, Lucy followed suit as they quickly walked down the stairs.
Nikki opened the front door and standing there smiling was Jess. “NIKKI HEY I MISSED YOU!!” She exclaimed rather loudly. “Listen I hate to be in a hurry but I need my sister back, i heard through the grapevine she’s obtained some pretty interesting abilities? I need to experiment on her for my research.”
She held up her head in a snobbish sort of way before waving her hand. “And yes I know before you say anything I’ll get you another one I promise girl, plus remember you owe me.”
Nikki glared down at the slightly shorter girl in front of her before saying in an ice cold voice. “No I don’t think you’ll be taking her anywhere. You’ve done enough as it is, you’re lucky she ended up liking the changes. You could’ve completely destroyed her life. I think you should go and don’t come back.”
Jess chuckled “cmon quit fucking around, I see her hiding behind you, just give her too me.” Nikki glared at her more. “No. I said you aren’t taking her. Now leave!! Before I make you.” Jess started laughing even more now. “Oh and what the fuck are you gonna do? Come out here little bitch come to big sis.”
Suddenly Nikki snapped her fingers and a large ethereal war hammer appeared in her hands. “Leave. Don’t make me do this.” She said with venom practically oozing from her voice. Jess glared and narrowed her eyes before stepping back and summoning two ethereal daggers in both hands. “So it’s like that is it?” She snarled at Nikki. “Cmon then bitch do your worst.” Lucy stared in horror as the two women charged at each other, clashing , sparks flying off their weapons as they blocked each other’s blows, they seemed to be pretty evenly matched until Jess slowly begin to overpower Nikki, one of her daggers cut deep into Nikkis’ wrist , she let out a fierce scream, blood falling onto the stone pavement beneath her.
Just as Jess was about to cut her throat, Lucy felt a surge of panic and anger rush through her. She screamed as loud as she could “NOOOOOOO!!!” And when she did, time seemed to stop, dark clouds, black as the night sky formed above them, a sickening roar crackled as bolts of burning hot, blue lightning shot from the sky, striking Jess head on.
Time suddenly unfroze as Jess flew backwards striking a concrete building, chunks of stone fell around her as she let out the most terrifying bloodcurdling scream Lucy had ever heard. The entire right Half of her body was completely charred , burnt to a crisp, her oozing bloody flesh on full display.
Jess quickly began casting a healing spell but it was no use, her skin tried and tried to stitch itself up but the burns were too deep. “LOOK WHAT YOU DID TO ME YOU FUCKING BITCH!!” She screamed, slowly getting up and staggering towards Lucy.
Lucy begin to tremble in fear as Jess’s eyes started to glow a sickening green, eerie green flames burst from her hands as she slowly moved closer and closer towards Lucy. Just as she was about to fling one of those nasty green flames at her sister, Nikki ran up behind Jess, swinging her hammer with a sickening crack as it went through the evil witches skull, she swung again and again, spraying blood and pieces of brain matter everywhere. Jess collapsed, a pool of blood surrounding her half charred body.
The light slowly faded from her eyes as her face paled. Her mouth hanging open forever in shock as the last bit of life in her faded from existence.
Lucy started sobbing uncontrollably as Nikki rushed over to her also sobbing, they both sat there holding each other in the cold rain crying together. After several hours of crying, both women soaked from the rain, covered in blood and gore they finally begin to calm down.
“W..what happens now?” Lucy quietly asked. “Now we live.. continue our lives together.. we need to report this to your grandmother... she needs to know all the horrible things Jess did..” Lucy softly nodded as they continued sitting there, holding each other, still shaking from the horror they just experienced.
(End of part one. I’m sorry if this seems kind of rushed, but I want to make this into a three part series. Part two will mostly feature Nikki and Lucy going to school together and studying magic as well as much more romantic scenes.)
It does feel a little rushed. The story is good so far if a little fast-paced. I think it could benefit from a slowed pace and extra flesh.
On another note, the end with Jess could use some work. It came too fast, and death wasn't the end I would have wanted to see for her. Still, this isn't beyond salvage. Given you have a world with magic, some kind of resurrection is possible. Jess needs to properly pay for her actions, and death seems too easy for her. Besides many readers enjoy a good redemption arc for a villainous.
Resurrection!
ho, wow. okay I love the story but damn, that feels rushed. You could probably write a 600 page book just from the contents discussed so far as the major story points.
Well if this gets a re-write or if the author publishes a book about this, then this could be rough draft of main story line.
I guess I hate when a good story comes to an end but this would be amazing in a Kuma Kuma Bear length of story. I would be hooked for years.
Definitely doing a rewrite. Spent most of today editing. I’m kind of stuck at the moment as I don’t really know what to do with the last chapter.
Thank you for the chapter, I really enjoyed it and can't wait for the next part tomorrow. And I'm really glad that bit*h got what she deserved. You let her out lightly, if it was me I would have tortured the bit*h.
Anyway thank you here, have a cookie ?
I was going to write about Jess getting her powers taken away at first with maybe a change in personality afterwards but I highly dislike plots like that. I feel like once you have it, good or evil it shouldn’t be taken away. I probably won’t be writing part two just yet and I apologize for that but I think I need to rewrite/edit this story and make it more drawn out before I start working on part two. I’m a bit drained at the moment so I’ll be spending the next couple days brainstorming ideas on what to do next. Glad you enjoyed it c:
ding dong the witch is dead, etc.
Happy ever after time, I hope?
God damn this turned dark really quickly
Well, yea... I have to agree with ya. Didn't expect that hard twist on the sister.
No shit...
moan moan moan mo....i mean more more more
Posting the first couple chapters of part two tomorrow c:
@Unicornpuke97
Damn! That was brutal. Like I understand that his sister got what she deserved, but there was no hesitation from her brother.
They grew up together, and even though she was evil, it would be hard to kill your own blood relative. Which makes this chapter kinda weird to me.
I think that the story should have introduced other evil things that his sister has done. Which makes his brother realize that she needs to be stopped. And even then try to find a way to stop killing her and fixing it in another way. Or if necessary kill her hesitantly.
Of course I don’t mind the gory stuff, and I know that stories shouldn’t always be all sunshine and rainbows. I just find it a little odd, that he was that willing to murder his lil’ sis
This has been a great start so far. I'm really enjoying this. I'm really hoping to learn just what Jess was thinking to do what she did.
Nice