On the last episode of SPARKLE SPARKLE PRECIOUS ELEMENTS ✨, our heroines Precious Silver and Precious Gold confronted their greatest challenge yet, saving their school from a rampaging MidKnight that had stolen the form of a bulldozer from a nearby construction site! But in the aftermath, the villainous Xelus took advantage of the confusion to capture Precious Silver, spiriting her away to Castle Tenebrae in the Darkness Dimension. What could the evil Twilight Apostles have in store for Precious Silver? Will Precious Gold be able to rescue her in time?? Find out on this episode of:

SPARKLE SPARKLE PRECIOUS ELEMENTS ✨

 

 

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“Ohohohoho~!”

Lady Yume arched her back, raising her hand to mouth in a practiced motion, laughing once again. It was perfect form, excellently executed, and unquestionably villainous. At her side, her chief servant and right-hand-man Xelus stood ramrod-straight, arms crossed crisply behind his back as he tried not to let his satisfaction show too much.

The laughter rang throughout the dark, cavernous halls of the Castle Tenebrae. With how empty and echoing the castle was, you could probably hear it all the way down in the deepest, darkest dungeon cells.

Xelus hoped that was the case, at least. He counted on that accursed Precious Silver hearing every bit of his Lady’s ultimate triumph, and he hoped that she was trembling in her chains as she awaited her coming fate.

Though in his opinion, Lady Yume’s laughter wasn’t really threatening as much as it was… adorable. Sometimes in the evenings, she’d retire to her room just to practice her laugh, and he’d find an excuse to hang out in the corridor, simply for the chance to hear more of it. Not that he’d ever let her know that, of course. 

And to be fair, it wasn’t like she looked particularly threatening either, even if she was the leader of the Twilight Apostles. She was only five feet tall if you generously rounded up, and it was hard to be properly imposing with such voluminous, fluffy blonde hair. All in all, she was about as scary as a Pomeranian. But, like, an evil Pomeranian. You could tell because her black dress had little bat wings on the back.

In contrast, Xelus wore a butler’s uniform, an affectation that he always insisted upon, even though Lady Yume had told him multiple times that he could dress more comfortably if he wanted. But he wasn’t dressing for himself... he had to look sharp for her sake. There were appearances to uphold! Plus, he had to admit there were benefits to having a uniform. Like you never had to bother with thinking about what you were going to wear in the morning, and didn’t have to waste time having to consider how you might look in it. You just put the same thing on as always, and moved on with your life.

And right now Xelus was feeling unusually chipper, smiling to himself as he straightened his bowtie and made sure every bit of his outfit was in place. Today, everything had to be perfect. For once—once—he had actually succeeded in his mission, after probably a dozen different confrontations that had proven less fortunate. It seemed like every time he journeyed to the human world, the Precious Elements would inevitably swoop in to defeat his MidKnights and foil his schemes. 

But this was it. Today was the day. The future was bright for Xelus.

Except that seemed a bit wrong…? Dark was more of their thing. 

Metaphorically, the future was bright. Literally, the future was dark, at least if his Lady had her way, and ushered in a new age of neverending night.

But about that! It was time to proceed with step two of the plan to conquer the human world. And substep A of step two was to inquire of Lady Yume as to what the rest of step two consisted of. He cleared his throat, and waited for Lady Yume to finish her laughter. 

She got in a few last choice “Ohoho~”s, and then turned to him, a sinister smile on her pale face. 

Xelus once again very deliberately refrained from thinking about how that grin made her eyes crinkle up at the corners in a way that was also oh-so-adorable. He didn’t get a fizzy feeling in his stomach at all. Instead, he saluted crisply. 

“My Lady,” he said. “Now that we have captured Precious Silver, we are closer than ever to victory. What is our next step? Shall we lay a trap for Precious Gold, and crush her when she inevitably comes to rescue her comrade?”

“No,” Lady Yume said, smirking. “I have an even better idea.”

Xelus perked up. “Shall we drain her of her magical energy, twisting that power to serve our own dark ends?”

“Also no,” Lady Yume said. “Think bigger, Xel! Even. Better.”

“Shall we…” Xelus hesitated. “Shall we… My Lady, I fear that I am running out of ideas.”

Yume drew herself up, straining for every one of her fifty-nine-and-a-half inches in height. “You see, Xel, I have been studying… the Tome!”

Silence stretched out, until Xelus realized she was waiting for a response. 

“Oh,” he said flatly. “Great.”

Lady Yume skipped over to her throne, climbing up on it to perch cross-legged on the velvet surface. She reached underneath the chair to pull out a dog-eared book whose pages were on the verge of falling out. At this point, it was mainly still held together by many colorful sticky notes, marking different pages in some kind of cryptic organizational system. On the front, in Papyrus—the most evil of fonts—it read: Everybody Wants to Rule the World: A Tome of Practical Advice for Terrible Tyrants, Malign Monarchs, and Other Aspiring Evil Overlords.

Xelus did not care for the Tome. 

Sure, it had been a gift from Lady Yume’s father, but Xelus did not care much for him either—yet another opinion he kept to himself. He blamed the book’s unhelpful tactics for many of his prior failures, like the time he transformed a fire hydrant into a goofy MidKnight monster at the local market, only for Precious Gold to show up and defeat it. Or the time he transformed a jungle gym into a goofy MidKnight monster at the local playground, only for Precious Silver to show up and defeat it. Or the time he transformed a goose into a goofy MidKnight monster at the local lake and—look, it was a lake, there wasn’t anything else around to use, and how was he supposed to know the stupid thing would chase him around instead, while Gold and Silver laughed. Eventually they took pity and saved him, and…

The point was, Xelus was quite displeased with Chapter I’s advice about confronting your enemies through incremental challenges of slowly escalating danger. So far all that had accomplished was providing the Precious Elements with plenty of opportunities to learn how to work together better. In his opinion, the Tome was woefully out of date for today’s modern overlord, but he hadn’t quite figured out how to tactfully suggest as much to Lady Yume.

Now didn’t seem to be the time either, because Lady Yume looked positively giddy as she finished flipping through the book. She pointed at a page dramatically. “Aha!” she exclaimed. “Here we go.”

Xelus winced. He bowed low. “Whatever you desire, My Lady, I will fulfill.”

Yume smiled at him in such excitement that she forgot to even pretend to be nefarious, and Xelus had to look away before he started thinking more thoughts that he shouldn’t. “Of course. I know I can always count on you, Xel.”

Ooops. Someone let some butterflies loose inside him. Inconvenient. “Y-yes, My Lady.”

“So…” Yume traced her finger down the page. “Here we go: It is imperative for every successful dark overlord, regardless of his inclinations, to have an evil queen to rule at his side.”

Oh. Oh no.

“Even should your ultimate goals call for the complete annihilation of time, space, spacetime, or timespace, a proper co-monarch reflects your authority and organizational ability. It’s vital in order to ensure that both your subjects and foes recognize you as the successful, ambitious leader that you wish to be.”

“You cannot possibly be suggesting—”

“Yes, Xelus,” Yume slammed the book shut decisively. “I need a queen.”

“But… but you’re too young for that!”

“Hey! I’m seventeen!” She frowned sternly at him. “C’mon, you know this. We’re the same age.”

“Well, okay, yes,” he said. “But that’s too young!”

She rolled her eyes. “I’m not going to have a wedding now, it’s more of a betrothal thing. I think.”

“And like… who would you even… Oh no.”

She pointed at the heavens for emphasis. “I am going to make Precious Silver my bride!”

“But… But…” Xelus grasped for any possible way out of this plan. “Don’t you think the Tome is showing its age in its phrasing, My Lady? It’s written assuming its readers to be an Overlord, not an Overlady. So for you, wouldn’t you be better off with a partner who’s more…” He winced. Something deep inside him rebelled at where this line of thought went too, but at least it would resolve the immediate situation. That was most important: keeping her from making any rash decision. Right? “Shouldn’t you marry a guy?” he finished helplessly.

Yume hesitated, a shadow crossing her face. “I— Uh. Um.” She swallowed, but then rallied. “The book says ‘queen.’ Regardless of inclinations. So I should just follow it exactly, just to be sure.”

“But…” Xelus shook his head. “Precious Silver? The Precious Elements are our mortal enemies!”

“All the better! Think of the opportunity if we can turn her to our side... We’d permanently fracture the Precious Elements’ partnership and ensure their downfall.”

“And how will you get Silver to accept this proposal?” Xelus frowned. “Having encountered her and Precious Gold on numerous occasions, I must report that they seem to view each other with a great deal of… fondness. I hardly think Silver will simply choose to betray her partner.”

“I think I can help there,” a new voice echoed in the throne chamber, as Cupell, the third member of the Twilight Apostles, stepped out of the shadows. They were grinning, showing a worrying amount of teeth.

Both Xelus and Yume let out a yelp of surprise. “I told you not to just appear like that!” Yume said, her voice wavering.

“My apologies.” Cupell bowed, but the grin did not leave their face. 

Xelus shifted in place nervously. The alchemist had always unnerved him a bit. They had simply shown up one day, out of nowhere, with a mysterious elixir and an elaborate plan to defeat the Precious Elements. Xelus had to admit it had been a good plan, too: when the Elements were tricked into drinking the potion, they found their bodies suddenly swapped. The chaos that had caused had completely thrown off their teamwork, at least for a time. But as it turned out, Gold and Silver had been quarreling that day already, and something about spending time in each others’ bodies had allowed them to put aside their differences and come to a much better understanding of each other. After that, they had grown even more close, and more powerful than ever. Plus when they defeated his trash can MidKnight that week, it exploded and he couldn’t get the smell of moldy cheese out of his butler outfit for days.

Regardless, ever since then, Cupell had a tendency to show up at the strangest times to dispense weird advice or even weirder elixirs, both of which never turned out exactly as expected. Despite his best efforts, Xelus hadn’t managed to learn anything else about the alchemist, but since Yume seemingly accepted their presence, he didn’t have any other recourse than to keep an eye on them.

“Very well, then,” Yume said, drawing Xelus back out of his reflections. She waved for Cupell to continue. “What do you have for me?”

Reaching into the folds of their black robes, Cupell produced a vial of some kind of fluid, bubblegum pink and slightly glowing. “A solution to your problem.”

Yume’s eyebrows shot up and she grimaced. “Is this… I mean, Chapter III of the Tome has an entire section on the theory and practice of brainwashing, but I’m not really comfortable with— I mean, it’s just not really my style. So, I’m going to have to say no...”

Oh sure, now she doesn’t trust the book, Xelus thought to himself. But he was equally uncomfortable with the thought of some kind of love potion, so he kept quiet.

“Not at all,” Cupell said. “This is merely a draught of truth.”

Yume blinked. “Truth? What good will that do?”

Cupell’s expression was devious. “Well, if you truly wish to woo your prisoner, what better way than to force her to tell the truth, and then find out all her likes and dislikes? There’s nothing quite as revealing as the truth, after all. Then you are free to surprise her with the perfect gifts and take her on the most enchanting dates, making all of her wildest dreams come to life.”

Xelus frowned. “That seems…”

“Brilliant!” Yume said, her eyes sparkling.

Xelus sighed heavily. “Yes. Brilliant. Precisely what I was about to say.”

Cupell turned their head towards Xelus. He always hated the way their thick goggles hid their eyes entirely. It was impossible to tell what they were thinking. But the way they seemed to be focusing on him was… disconcerting.

Yume didn’t notice. “Okay, so I’ll just take her the potion and...”

“Madame Yume,” Cupell said smoothly. “Wouldn’t it be better to allow someone else to do so? Someone reliable and capable, who can be circumspect in their task, thus making sure Precious Silver is properly surprised when you show up later with a bouquet of her favorite flowers.”

“Oh, excellent idea!” She turned towards Xelus, a hopeful smile on her face. 

It really wasn’t fair. He wanted nothing to do with this particular scheme. He couldn’t even imagine if it actually succeeded, if Silver and Yume actually did get along well, and… and… married. After all, it wasn’t out of the question. Who wouldn’t want to marry Lady Yume?

But yet… He couldn’t say no to that smile.

Xelus bowed again. “My Lady, it would be my honor to assist in this endeavor.”

She clapped her hands happily, bouncing up and down on her throne. She just looked so pleased. Xelus hadn’t seen her be this excited about a plan since the time they decided to interrupt the Precious Elements’ summer vacation, and got so distracted playing on the beach that they forgot to summon a MidKnight that week. That had been such a good time, even if he had gotten sand all in his butler’s uniform, since he couldn’t find a swimsuit that he actually felt okay with wearing.

“Here you go,” Cupell said, handing the vial to Xelus. Their grin was back. “Be careful. You wouldn’t want to drop this, after all.”

“Of course not,” Xelus scoffed. “What kind of amateur do you think I am?” The vial was just the slightest bit warm in his hands, and he carefully slipped it into the inner pocket of his butler’s jacket for safekeeping.

He saluted sharply again. “I will return soon with the information you requested, My Lady.”

“Great!” She hesitated, looking a bit worried, and Xelus waited, raising an eyebrow. “Xelus, please be careful. Even captured, Precious Silver may be dangerous.”

“No need to worry,” he said confidently. “I’m certain that she’s no threat to me.”

He bowed one more time, and then backed out of the throne room, making his way through the labyrinthine halls of the castle. At this point it was like second nature—no one else knew the castle as well as he did. Except for maybe Cupell, but Xelus suspected they used magic to sneak around, so effectively it didn’t count.

But then, no one else even lived in the Castle Tenebrae other than the three of them. It wasn’t exactly a place for people. The twisting hallways led through portrait galleries and armories and a thousand other imposing and grand rooms, but only rarely passed by something that would be suitable for daily life. There was only a single kitchen, tucked away in a basement, and a mere handful of bedrooms in some of the tower suites. In fact, embarrassingly, a good part of his familiarity with the castle came from many frustrating attempts in finding the nearest bathroom. The castle was a place out of nightmares, perhaps a good place for an evil overlord to rule from, but not a particularly comfortable place to live in.

Yet it was their place, because they didn’t have any other. It was another gift from Lady Yume’s father, and one couldn’t exactly say no to that—at least not until Lady Yume’s plans came to fruition. They had never talked about it directly, but when they brought eternal night upon the human world, perhaps then things would be different? Maybe they could move out and take residence in their new kingdom. Maybe it’d finally be an opportunity for a new kind of life, even if he was certain that the things he secretly wanted most would still be improper and out of reach.

Because the thing was... the reason Xelus hated the Precious Elements so very much was not because of all the times they had defeated or embarrassed him in the past. No, he hated them because they got to have all of the things that he wished he could have. They got to live in the human world. They got to go to school with each other, and to play around in after-school clubs, and have sleepovers and study dates. They got to wear cute sailor uniforms and their flashy magical girl outfits with the floofy skirts. And they didn’t even appreciate it!

That was the thing that no one seemed to realize... it wasn’t as if Xelus or Lady Yume were any older than Precious Silver or Precious Gold. But when you’re from the Darkness Dimension, things are just different. You’re created with a role to play: Lady Yume had to conquer the human world, and Xelus had to help her make that happen. They had no choice in the matter. They didn’t get to be teenage girls without a care in the world. And besides, even if there was some way for Xelus to escape, he would never leave Lady Yume on her own.

So what if sometimes he took a bit longer on missions than necessary, hanging around to jealously watch Silver and Gold and their friends as they enjoyed sports day, or participated in a school festival, or just studied together in the library? He knew it didn’t matter because nothing would ever change. In the end, he would do his part and interrupt whatever they were doing with some big monster. They would do their part and defeat it. And then he’d come back to the castle again, dejected and despondent, and Lady Yume would cheer him up again, maybe by staying up late together to plan out a new approach for next time.

Yes, that was fine. Xelus didn’t need some kind of normal human school life. He didn’t need to dwell on those gnawing feelings that sometimes rose up inside him, because feeding them would only make them worse.

He had Lady Yume. That was life enough.

...unless the accursed Precious Elements took her away too. He heaved a sigh.

If it was any consolation, it wasn’t as if the complicated plans like this one ever tended to work out. In fact, he thought as he rounded the corner and headed down the dungeon hall where he had left Precious Silver, with his rotten luck she would already be—

He froze, looking through the iron bars into the small stone cell. The empty small stone cell. 

He hurriedly checked the cells on either side, making sure that he hadn’t just gotten turned around. No, this was the right place.

She wasn’t here. Had she escaped? He had been so careful this time, making sure to lock the door securely and reinforce the walls with dark magic that would prevent Precious Silver from using her magical girl powers. He’d even taken all of the spare keys they left lying around the dungeon and moved them out of reach this time. 

Growing frantic, he unlocked the cell, and the door squealed as it swung open. He stepped inside. Where could she have possibly gone? There weren’t even any traces of…

Some dirt fell from above, hitting him in the head. 

As he looked up and caught sight of Precious Silver clinging to the ceiling, he had exactly enough time to think Whew. She didn’t escape, after all!

And then the last thing he saw was a silver boot descending from above directly into his face.