The Polaia was smaller than the ships that Theonis was used to. According to Captain Markis, it was a unique variant on a standard design that allowed it to travel a little faster without sacrificing cargo space. Pirate ships, by contrast, were standardized; the idea of being on a ship that was completely unique was exciting for Theonis.

They’d been traveling for a couple of days on their way to the capital. Theonis spent a lot of time on deck, staring out at the vast ocean surface and shaking in anticipation. Sometimes they’d pass by an island where Theonis could see buildings along the coast, but the capital would be the first real city he’d ever been in.

While Theonis watched the horizon getting closer, Kateni arrived on deck and approached him.

“You ready?” she asked. “I thought today we’d learn a bit of unarmed combat.”

Theonis nodded and the two walked over to an empty area of the deck. Since Kateni was bigger than him, she spent a while teaching him how to take advantage of his position and use her weight against her. She demonstrated what would happen if he tried to block her attacks or got into a grapple with her, and how poorly it would end for him; if Theonis ever got into a physical fight, he should focus on dodging and using the element of surprise when throwing punches. If things got dire, he could always go for a punch to the throat to stun his opponent, if he wasn’t afraid of doing serious damage.

When they finished, both Theonis and Kateni were sweaty. Kateni took off her shirt and threw it over her shoulder, leaving her chest bare except for the breast-band she wore. Theonis left his sweaty shirt on. The idea of exposing his chest just made him uncomfortable.

The two headed down below deck and to the canteen. Satiria, Kosgoris, and Lias were already having lunch together. Theonis and Kateni each grabbed a plate and sat down with them.

“By the way, Kosgoris,” Theonis started, “I never thanked you for all the survival training you gave me.”

“It was nothing. Besides, it was good for me to go over the material again.”

“All the same, thank you.”

Kosgoris shrugged, saying, “I hope that you hold onto what you learned from the experience.”

“At least you know a few things about maps, now,” Lias said. “Perhaps you can get a job as a cartographer yourself for one of those pirate ships.”

Theonis grunted in reply, then glanced away. Lias frowned. He looked a little hurt. Theonis had been avoiding him for a few days now.

Satiria sighed.

“I’m a little disappointed,” she admitted. “I thought after everything… never mind.”

“Never mind what?” Theonis asked.

“I thought you’d really decide to stay. But I guess you really can’t detach yourself from the culture you grew up in.”

Theonis sank down in his seat a little. He hadn’t expected that to hurt so much. It really felt like he’d let Satiria down, like he let them all down somehow. That was wrong, though: he didn’t owe them anything. Just because they were friends now didn’t mean he owed it to them to stay.

He didn’t look over at Kateni. She wasn’t saying anything, but he knew that she was also unhappy he’d be leaving. Kateni had really enjoyed having a sparring partner. And Theonis wasn’t sure, but he thought that Kateni talked to him more than she talked to anyone else.

Theonis ate the rest of his meal quickly and quietly. When he was done, he gave everyone else a quiet goodbye and took his plate back to the galley. He couldn’t dwell on the fact that people wanted him to stay. He was busy at the moment.

Theonis hadn’t ever been to Myrova’s room before. He eventually had to ask for directions. His palms were sweaty as he raised his hand to knock. Instead of him getting a response, though, the door simply opened of its own accord. Myrova was sitting at a plain wooden desk covered in books and papers, her hand glowing with an orange aura.

“Come in,” she said, not looking up from her work.

Theonis pulled the pendant out of his shirt and took it off.

“You said you wanted to look at this some more?”

“I did.” Myrova pushed a bunch of papers to the side and opened up a small journal. “Let me see it.”

Theonis handed it over and she placed it gently down on the table. Myrova placed one hand over the pendant and her hand started to glow with a blue light. With her free hand, she began taking notes on a fresh page of the journal.

While Theonis waited, he examined the room. There was a small bed in one corner, next to a low bookshelf. Three small chests were lined up against the opposite wall, one of which was open and filled with papers. Theonis walked up to the bookshelf and began reading the titles.

“How does magic work, exactly?”

“There are seven colors. Red generates energy, orange moves objects, yellow heals, green creates barriers, blue is divination and telepathy, indigo allows me to control the shape and movement of substances, and violet creates illusions. There’s a lot of freedom within each color for you to get creative with how you apply magic, though.”

“How do you remember all of that?”

“Practice. Years of practice.”

“I wish I could use magic,” Theonis mused.

“No, you do not,” Myrova told him. “It was not worth what I had to go through. I wouldn’t trade this life for anything, given the chance, but I wish I had become a baker like my father instead.”

“Why did you go to the Academy, then?”

“I’m not talking about it.”

Theonis pulled a book off the shelf and opened it up to the beginning. There were a lot of words that he didn’t recognize. He sat down on the bed and tried to get through the first few pages.

After a while, Theonis noticed that Myrova was staring at him.

“What?” he asked.

“Nothing,” she muttered, turning her attention back to her notes.

Theonis picked up another book. This one was much more accessible. The words weren’t as long and it actually had pictures and diagrams to explain what was going on. Occasionally, though, he’d glance up and Myrova would be looking at him again.

“Is something wrong?” he asked.

Myrova bit her lip and shook her head.

“I… um… I’m not entirely sure how this artifact works,” she said, closing the journal and looking away from Theonis. “It’s a mystery to me. I’d love to have more time to study it.”

“There’s not much time left,” Theonis said, taking the pendant back. “I’m going to be gone soon.”

“Well, I’ll be sad to lose that artifact. I never get to study them in detail and it’s a fascinating experience.”

“Everybody wants me to stay.”

“Yes. I know.” Myrova shrugged. “They just don’t understand. Deep down, you know that you don’t belong with the team.”

“You’re right,” Theonis said, sitting back down on the bed. “I just wish that I didn’t have to go back.”

“Then don’t,” Myrova replied. “Some of us end up in places that aren’t right for us, and they end up shaping a large part of who we are. But you can leave and find somewhere that is right for you.”

“I don’t know what else I’d do…”

“You should at least try.”

“I’ll think about it.”

When Theonis left, Myrova let him borrow the book he’d picked out to keep reading. He considered leaving the pendant with her to study further, but really didn’t want to be parted from it for too long. Thoenis returned to his room, laid down on the bed, and opened the book.

As the sun began to hang low on the horizon and the world was bathed in orange light, Theonis heard a knock on his door. He sat the book aside and got up to answer. Dimileios was standing just outside the room.

“Hello, Theonis,” he said. “I’d like you to have dinner with me and Captain Markis at least once before you end up leaving. We’ll be eating in the captain’s quarters tonight if you want to join us.”

“I… sure, I’ll do that.”

“Very good.”

The captain’s quarters were significantly larger and nicer than the other cabins on the ship, but it wasn’t as extravagant as Theonis had been expecting. A small iron chandelier hung in the middle of the room, casting long shadows everywhere. A small table sat off to one side of the room, a large but simple desk against the other wall next to a four-poster bed. Large windows let in a lot of evening light, casting everything in an orange glow.

Theonis said hello to the captain, but was otherwise mostly quiet. The food was a little better than what he’d gotten used to in the canteen. The quiet conversation was a refreshing change of pace.

“How long have you been doing this, Captain?” Theonis asked.

“Four years, now,” he replied, locking his piercing gaze on Theonis. “I was Dimileios’ third choice, if I remember correctly.”

Dimileios used his napkin to wipe food out of his beard and replied, “You’ve performed wonderfully, Markis.”

Captain Markis continued, “I had already spent five years operating a cargo ship and it was a little banal. My options were limited despite having a fairly good reputation. When Dimileios offered to finance the construction of a new ship to my own specifications, I jumped at the chance.”

“Was it hard to find a crew?”

“No, I was known as a fair commander.” He chuckled, adding, “Although I have been accused of being needlessly stubborn from time to time.”

Theonis grinned a little. Captain Markis was nothing like the pirate captains Theonis had met when he was younger. Something told him that working on board this ship would have been much better than life on a pirate ship.

“Are you still determined to return to your hometown?” Dimileios asked.

“I am.”

“That’s unfortunate,” he said. “Very well. When we reach the capital, you and Lias can start charting a course there. Until then, just try to relax. We’ll get there soon enough.”

“Yes, sir,” Theonis replied, a little annoyed that he’d have to work with Lias at all.

“Whatever happens,” Dimileios continued, “I wish you luck finding what makes you happy.”

“Thank you.”

It was dark by the time dinner was over. Theonis made his way back to his own cabin and laid down in bed. He opened the book back up to do some light reading until he started to feel tired.

Turning the page, Theonis frowned. One of the pictures in the book was of a familiar bird, a homecoming swift in flight. A pang of envy jolted through Theonis’ heart. The swift got to live its entire life leaving the island to explore the world. Theonis had to go back to a mundane life, and one that he didn’t particularly want to begin with. With a groan, Theonis closed the book and set it down on the bedside table.

In the morning, Theonis returned above deck to watch the horizon. He kept his eyes peered for the large island where they’d find the capital. According to everyone, it would be bigger than anything Theonis had ever seen before.

“Theonis.”

He turned around to see Kateni holding a wooden sword. Theonis took it and cracked his neck. They returned to the middle of the deck and readied themselves. Neither made a move while they studied each other.

Theonis came up with a plan first, rushing forward. Kateni blocked his first strike, but his second nicked her on the shoulder. Despite his lack of muscle and the hair in his eyes, Theonis was getting better. It was a shame he’d never get to use these skills in the real world.

When they were done, Theonis and Kateni sat down. A crew member brought them a water skin and the two shared a drink. Myrova’s words echoed in Theonis’ head. He didn’t have to go back to the island if he didn’t want to.

“Kateni,” he began, “you were a mercenary once, right? Do you think I could do that?”

Kateni frowned.

“It’s possible,” she said. “You’d need more training, but you have the potential. The real issue is that the capital doesn’t like mercenaries. It’s hard for them to thrive. You’d do much better as part of a private guard. And based on what I’ve heard from former soldiers, you’ll want to avoid joining the navy or the army. Both of them can be cruel to newcomers.”

“Myrova thinks that I need to find the place where I belong,” Theonis admitted. “I don’t want to go back to the life I used to have, but I don’t have any idea where else I’d go.”

“Why not stay, then?”

“I don’t belong here.”

“Nobody belongs anywhere,” Kateni said. “You simply make a place for yourself out of hard work and forming relationships. I’ve spent my entire life doing that.”

Theonis shook his head, explaining, “I don’t think it’s that simple. The feeling you get of belonging somewhere is really powerful, and I feel that about my old home that I don’t feel here.”

“Why not?”

“I can’t offer anything meaningful; everyone has an important job except for me. Not everyone even wants me to stay. And I owe something to my home for raising me and making me the person I am now.”

“That all sounds like excuses.”

Theonis didn’t respond. Kateni didn’t press him for a further explanation. Deep down, he knew that she was right: Theonis was just making excuses. He wanted to be here, even if he didn’t fit in perfectly. At the very least, he fit in here better than he ever did at home. Could he do it? Could Theonis turn his back on the place he was from and start over somewhere new?

“Alright,” he said quietly. “I’ll stay.”

“Hmm? What was that?”

“I’m going to stay. I want to stay, and there’s no good reason for me to go back. I’ll be happier if I stay with the group even if I never end up feeling like I belong here. And maybe it’s selfish of me to turn my back on my home like that, but it’s what I want.”

There it was. He’d said it out loud. It felt like a weight had been lifted off of his chest. Theonis never had to go back to the island.

“I’m glad to hear that,” Kateni said. “Perhaps you should tell the others. They’ll want to know you’ve changed your mind.”

Theonis nodded and stood up. He took a deep breath and clenched his fists. This was really happening. He’d made his choice.