“Fuck! Fuck!”
I anxiously paced around my room listening to the sounds of everyone waking up.
I was battling the intrusive thoughts of last night. I wanted to desperately forget it. To pretend it never happened. I knew it was wrong on so many levels, but a small part of me couldn’t stop rejoicing.
I felt sick to my stomach and started biting my nails down to the skin of my fingers. A terrible habit of mine that resurfaced once again.
“Shit!”
What am I going to do? I can’t go downstairs.
I was startled by the smell of breakfast wafting into my room.
But if I don’t, then it’s going to seem weird. Then Miyuki and Saya will get suspicious… especially Saya!
That is.. unless..
God no! No! No! No! No! I’m already in a precarious situation with Saya as it is. I know what she said before about helping me and blah blah blah. but... she’s not exactly rational. I don’t need anything blowing her top.
“Fuck!”
I begrudgingly got dressed for school before heading to my door.
My hand lingered on the door knob as I inhaled a deep breath.
This is going to suck.
After a self deprecating laugh, I slowly opened my door and proceeded to head down stairs.
It’s kind of quiet? This just makes it feel so much worse.
Once I walked into the kitchen, I was greeted by the sight of Kenzie running around like a chicken with her head cut off. Frantically flipping pancakes while struggling to properly fold her omelets. But, once I walked into the kitchen she turned into a deer in headlights.
Out of the corner of my eye Saya and Miyuki were giving me very unsettling looks.
Miyuki looked.. dead. That’s the best way I can describe it. Her eyes were like that of a lifeless fish as she silently stared at me.
Saya on the other hand…
She had those same empty eyes very reminiscent of a yandere. But, she looked perfectly calm. Not angry, upset, happy, nothing. Just a blank slate.
They.. know..
THEY KNOW! THEY KNOW!!!! OH!!! FUCK! THEY KNOW!!!
ARRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!
The world twisted and warped in strange ways and time came to a grinding halt.
My heart pounded as I observed the three women in front of me. My palms were sweaty and my stomach churned horribly. I could feel my eye twitching uncontrollably and it was becoming steadily more difficult to breathe.
I… I can’t do this. I can’t do this. I can’t do this.
I fucked up! I fucked up! I’m fucked up! I can’t do this!
Suddenly, It felt like something inside of me snapped.
“I…I'll be right back. I have to use the bathroom.”
No one said anything as I turned heel and walked towards the front door, before quietly slipping out of the house.
With no real idea of what I wanted to do, or where to go, I let my body make the decision as I began to walk. There was only one thought in my head.
I can’t go back.
Okay. Moment of honesty. I've been depressed for awhile. I promise, I promise, I have been trying so hard to write. But, its just been so f*cking difficult as of late. Either I have a bunch of ideas, write them down, and then think they're all shit. Or I have no ideas, and stare at my computer and phone for hours. I'm still kind of blank for how I want this next arc to go. At this point, I'm open to suggestions lol. But, I have a few ideas right now. So we'll see. I'm going to do my best to produce another chapter, a proper chapter today. I feel like I at least owe that everyone. Til next time.
I like this deadbeat direction. Time to abandon his family and conquer some new women. The story can end with his girls murdering him.
Thanks for the chapter! I know how sh*t depression can be, and you don’t have to stress yourself to write chapters for us. Focus on your mental health, that’s what’s really important. You got this and I hope you feel better
Hey dude don't worry about it I personally love your story but I would rather you take care of yourself then have more chapters
honest sujestion here... i know well this felling of lack of motivation to do everything try to focus on others things do exercise, go read others novels and put it on hiatus oficially... i bet u will eventualy find the motivation and inspiration to end this
@forIAMrebOrn Best wishes for you first and a story suggestion is a change of tone to something more upbeat the drama load has reached a good point now it's time to get things back on track for our MC
@Lukeclock happiness I talk about is about you having more joy in your life
Honestly, this man needs some massive character development and a mad glow up. Also, screw his family, idk have this man run away from home, skip school, and just live life on the edge until he hits rock bottom. Then we move from there, I think that could be a good direction.
@DiscoDream Lol W commentator.
@PolitcalINK Thanks bro. That means a lot.
@Theirl Yeah I've been trying different stuff. I even bought a keyboard lol. Thanks bro.
@Arroganzz Hmm.. That could be a thing. Thanks for the suggestion bro.
@Lukeclock Thanks bro. I really appreciate that. It;s good to hear from you again.
@Cocolarge That's really kind of you. Thank you so much.