Our walk to Ardgour, the capital of Porin, was fairly uneventful. A few goblins, some angry giant rats, and a brief scare with a dragon flying overhead were all we had to deal with. I managed to gain another level from the fighting, and we all got a training point in stamina from the trip.

Training points were the game’s way of letting you work out to gain stats in the game. You could get strength from lifting, or stamina from running. All that stuff. They were essentially a very long term buff that you had to keep refreshing or it would fade. I think it was like three months of disuse and it would begin to fade, but I couldn’t remember. I’d never had it happen.

During our last night in an inn before we reached the city, I went out the back of the place to spend my first ability point. I’d spent the stat points already, placing two into Athleticism again. Now I just had to figure out which ability I wanted to get first.

I had three to choose from. The first was a lunging strike, fairly simple and straightforward, but it had the promise of some pretty interesting upgrades later on. The second was a spell, a hand gesture that caused a flickering illusory attack in my target’s vision to distract them. The third and final one was a flickering dash that caused afterimages of me to scatter for a brief microsecond before I arrived at my destination.

It was a tough decision, even the first one giving me some trouble. Something like a simple lunging strike wasn’t particularly interesting on the surface, but mastering it would give a considerable damage boost if I used it.

Still, I think I needed maneuverability more than a hard hitting damage ability right then. All three would be finding their ways into my kit at some point, though. I picked the third ability, named Scatter Dash, and began to familiarise myself with the mental commands to cast it.

The ability was designed to confuse my opponents for a moment, giving me an opening to slip my blade. When I first tested it, I was delighted to feel the rush of the wind around me, my braid momentarily trailing in the air behind me. From the point where I had left, three perfect images of my character had flickered, appearing to dash in different directions. What I hadn’t expected were the pretty pink sakura petals that danced at my old position for a brief moment.

“Oh, that is so cool,” I grinned, watching them fade. Until, like a blow to the gut, I realised how girly I was being. I’d been fine with it before, but suddenly doubt crawled up my spine and seated itself in the back of my mind.

What in the hell was I doing? I wasn’t a girl. I was a fucking fraud, and I was just running around pretending to be one, even going as far as to drink the feminine coolaid.

“God, that looked so pretty!” A voice behind me said, and I turned to find Elena leaning against the wall.

I blinked, watching her for a moment before my gaze dove to the ground. She probably thought I was a fraud too. She could probably see right through me.

“I’m not pretty,” I said to the dying shrubs at my feet.

Elena scoffed and stepped closer to me. “Girl, you’re adorable, and mysterious, and so fucking beautiful it makes me ache.”

Looking up in surprise, I gaped at her. “I’m a boy,” I blurted.

Absolute, full body fear gripped me. What the fuck. Why did I say that? What the hell? Why? I was such a fucking moron! A fuckup! This is what got me kicked out of my guild. This is why I should never make— 

Elena interrupted the spiral of self hate inside me by stepping close to me, and… and kissing me. She was so much taller than me, so much bigger in every dimension. Her hands gripped my hips keeping me in place as she gently, carefully, moved her lips against mine. My thoughts were fried and broken, but a small part of me pressed forward into her embrace.

The affection, even from someone who was basically a stranger, was so welcome it caused a tear to roll down my cheek. She must have felt it merge into the kiss, because she stepped back and gave me a smile. “Are you so sure about that?”

“Sure about what?” I asked, almost dizzy from the thorough purging of my nasty thoughts.

Her smile was so damned coy. “That you’re a boy. You’re willingly playing as this character, after all. Plus, you mentioned you were in medical storage. This is literally your reality, which means that… well, fuck everything outside of this game. You’re very obviously a girl, and you’ve been fine with feminine pronouns.”

“I… I…” My brain was a mess, gears grinding all over the place, confusion rampant. All I could do was stammer and stare up at her, trying to think past the words she’d said and the feeling of her hands on my hips.

Gently, she let me go, stepping back with a wink. “I’ll leave you to those thoughts. Come find me if you need me. Sorry about the kiss, too. I wanted to knock you out of that spiral of yours, so… yeah. Anyway…”

She walked backwards in the direction of the door back to the inn, but halted for a moment to say, “I won’t tell a soul, either. Okay?”

I nodded dumbly, still completely out of it.

“Good. Catch you at dinner,” she said, giving me a little finger-wiggling wave before she was gone.

She was just going to kiss me, then explode my brain, and just… leave?

God, I felt like someone had just shoved a whisk into my head and gone to town. The craziest part was that she made sense. My reality was this virtual one, so… why bother getting hung up on what my mutilated body had once possessed. Shit, I didn’t even have a dick anymore.

Taking a long, uncertain breath, I went back to practicing my forms and abilities. It let my brain wander through all the thoughts I needed to parse, all while creating new muscle memory for this body.

****

Ardgour wasn’t your typical medieval fantasy city. It was ringed by two sets of low, thick walls, almost like something that might have been constructed back in the age of black powder. Except, these walls were ones that had been created in a world where magic existed. Siege magic wasn’t something that players explored much, but it existed both in the game and in the lore.

It had been built on a massive, low hill that was shaped like a wave, with one side ending in a cliff that had been carved by the river that slaked the thirst of the city. The docks were built into that cliff face, while the rest of the city sprawled out down the hillside.

The buildings were low, their flat roofs topped with grass, while chimneys and stone towers jutted up out of them. Flowers and trees grew atop the various buildings, making the whole city seem like it was half-woodland. The wide roads had been cut into the earth, many of them split by winding rivers and streams.

Ardgour had been built around the hill because of the small magical pond at its peak, which held great religious significance to the Kingdom of Porin. The founding of Porin had come about when a small clan of humans had been driven out of their ancestral home. On their last legs, and harried by the nameless enemy that had hounded them at every turn, they’d sought to make a last stand atop the hill.

Their god, who took the form of a kindly old man at the very precipice of death, had taken pity on his followers. He blessed the spring at the top of the hill, causing it to poison any who formed ranks to attack those who huddled under his protection.

Nowadays, the water was slightly magical and made for good potions, but otherwise didn’t do a whole lot. Still, the whole city flowed with it, making the air smell clean and the mages very happy.

We got into the city with relative ease, players came and went all the time, and from there we headed out to find an inn. Unfortunately for me, the one that Doug coerced us into staying at was way too close to my old guildhouse. I didn’t think I would run into my old friends, but you never knew.

The inn was very similar to most of the architecture of the city. It only had two floors above the street height, while the rest were below the ground. It had two large, round stone towers sticking out of the roof, along with a few chimneys, and a little copse of trees.

I’d actually been to this place before, although only to drink and party with my friends. The rooms were nice enough, but I’d be out looking to rent a place as soon as the next morning rolled around. I just really wanted a space to call my own and settle down. Hopefully it would let me sort through all the shit in my head. Assuming I was brave enough to face that whole mess.