We stepped into the final arena cautiously. Killing the crab-centaur-dinner-plates had been tough, but with me running around punching holes in their shells like a glorified nail gun, we got through it. Turns out once there was a hole, the boys could put magic and arrows through it pretty well.

I was beyond frustrated now, though, because holy shit was it a gruelling task to keep pulling off that combo. Ethan, on the other hand, was calm and enjoying himself. His job was relatively easy—keep his high level cleanse spell on cooldown and make sure Draz didn’t die.

A bubbling roar cut the silence like a butcher’s cleaver, and we all flinched. Using the word bubbling might make it sound less scary, but remember that bubbles come out when people choke on their own blood.

Over the top of the boulders that created the arena walls, something massive came flying down at us. Fifteen metres tall, the centaur-crab boss impacted the ground and caused an earthquake, sending chunks of stone and a spray of brine out to pelt and coat us. Well, everyone except me. I leapt way up into the air and flipped over the debris, wings whirring to keep my trajectory on point.

Draz did not appreciate the exfoliating shower and picked up a rock the size of my head, then with a cry of wordless challenge, yote it right into the still gaping, roaring mouth of the boss. “Get fucked, cunt!”

I don’t think that was a proper taunt. It seemed to work, though, because the boss zeroed in on him with a fury to match its impact crater.

It charged him, and the fight was very much on. One massive claw came down like a blacksmith’s hammer, but Draz might as well have been an anvil, because he dropped to one knee, raised his shield and braced. Damn, but it was impressive to see a traditional tank work. There was something absolutely awesome about seeing someone encased in obscene amounts of metal take a hit like it was nothing.

Stepping forward to engage, Roth the warlock drew his dagger and scored a cut across the back of his arm. Rather than blood, a black ichor flowed out of the wound to coat his hand, and in a moment he had some sort of crystalline cannon forming. He pointed the still forming weapon at the boss’ head and fired. A blast of molten crystal hit the boss with a crack and coated one of its eye stalks at the base, holding it in place like glue. A moment later and the second one was also stuck. Huh. I wonder what that was—

Lasers blasted out of the eyes, sizzling and boiling the inch deep water of the arena wherever they hit, but without the ability to articulate the appendages, the attack went wide of us.

“Damn, dude,” I said, watching with fascination.

He shrugged and shot me a wry smile. “We might not have beaten the boss, but damn have we got the start of the fight dialled in.”

“Hell yeah,” I said, and rushed forward. These guys might not be the type of person I typically hung out with, but I found myself liking them anyway. Goes to show that all sorts of people can form friendships just fine, so long as everyone is chill.

The way he managed the laser attack gave me an idea, though, and I buffed my next Pinprick Strike with all the penetration I could muster. With a burst of speed, I lunged right at one of the weaker leg joints, ramming my katana straight through it. Rather than pull it back and let the others try to hit an awkward shot, I flipped upside down, hands touching down into the shallow water. With all my strength, I pushed off and kicked at the hilt of my sword with both feet

A meaty crunch sounded through the arena and chunks of carapace went flying, while the leg dropped to the ground. I continued up through the air for a few feet, catching my katana mid-flight. The boss reeled, and a nice meaty chunk of its health bar was missing.

“Nice!” One of the guys called, and I threw them an almost feral grin. God, but this body was incredible! I could do the craziest, most acrobatic shit ever, and it felt easy. How had I gone my whole life without being attuned to myself the way I was now?

“Here it comes!” Draz shouted, throwing an extra non-verbal taunt on the boss. “Keiko, you’re up!”

A moment after he called for me, the boss raised its arms above its head and began to chant in some awful, guttural language. A shield of brackish water flowed up from the battlefield to surround him in a dome, and an arrow from Roy sank into the shield, stopping dead in its tracks.

On its back, the carapace had opened to reveal a tight knot of water hovering and twisting in place. Aha! A weak point!

I rushed up to the water shield and poshed a hand up to it experimentally. When it got through without any trouble, I plunged headfirst into the shield and flew up to the boss’ back. It tried to swat me off, but I was much too quick for it. My sword flashed in the liquid light of the sun, then sank deep into the dark knot of water.

The shield of water collapsed, almost drenching me. Lucky for me, I had my Ribbon Roll on a hair-trigger. I exploded up out of the shower in a tornado of magical ribbons, cherry blossoms, and water droplets, then came down to attack the boss with my katana. The others were right behind me with their spells, arrows, and taunts. This boss was ours.

It tried to do the wipe mechanic again when it got down to one third of its health bar, but I was ready again to put a stop to that. Less than five minutes later, Draz was proudly standing atop the corpse, shaking a new healer’s staff over his head in triumph.

“Nice work guys!” Roy crowed, so happy he didn’t know what to do with his arms. He started with a fist pump, but it ended up as a sort of clapping cheering movement. His eyes fell on me a full four or so seconds after he spoke, and he added, “Oh, and girl!”

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes and just smiled. “We did well. I had fun.”

“That staff should help your healer out a ton, too. Did you get any of the armour pieces?” Ethan asked.

Roth raised a hand, “I got the robes.”

“Gloves here,” Roy said, summoning them out of his inventory so he could wave them around.

“Great,” Ethan said, while Draz retrieved the drops from the boys.

“Oh, fudge!” I exclaimed, and trotted over to the body. I’d forgotten to get my damn loot!

A gently glowing ball hovered above the corpse, and when I touched it, an inventory window opened.

I passed the boots to the tank, then held the ring up for everyone to inspect. It looked like a strand of seaweed that’d been turned into silver. It was kinda pretty, actually.

“The stat bonuses aren’t the best, but the effect looks cool,” Draz commented. “Thanks for the boots, too. You can keep the ring, obviously.”

“Thanks.”

I slipped the ring on and basked in the feeling that came with a sudden influx of stats. The stamina was nice, but the sharpening of my senses that came with the boost in focus was wonderful.

“Here, Ethan,” Draz continued, walking over to my friend. “The rest of the payment, as promised. It was a pleasure to run the dungeon with you.”

“Same here,” Ethan replied. “Feel free to add me so we can keep in touch.”

“Oh, yes, definitely!” Roy said quickly. “Can I add you too, Keiko?”

A voice in my head was telling me to definitely, one hundred percent, not accept his request. However, that voice was overpowered by a general desire to be nice. I mean, he was a cool dude, even if he was a little weird. I’m sure it’d be fine.

“Yeah, go ahead,” I said.

After we’d all exchanged friend requests, our time in the dungeon was over and we headed back out. Ethan and I bid them goodbye, then returned home to the still in construction tree inn.

Almost as soon as we stepped out of the forest and into the work area, mum made a beeline for us. Well, not us. Me.

“Sprite, my dearest,” she said, pulling me into a hug whether I wanted it or not. “We’ve decided on a name. The Howling Willow Inn.”

“Is that a reference to a certain moving castle, mum?” I asked, pushing her away so I could regain my freedom.

“Yes, it most definitely is!” she grinned, and I rolled my eyes at her. God, my mum was a lot to handle sometimes. “Come, little sprite, let’s get back to building! Very soon we’ll have a proper home in this game. I can’t wait to live with my baby again.”

Oh no.