"You agreed to WHAT?"

 

Ryan kept banging his head on the central table while Monique, Aldelmo and Charity were all sitting around in the study room, "I agreed to go to the dance with her." Monique blinked, "I thought you said you would never go to such a... how did you say... 'Time Suck', No?" His voice was a bit muffled as he spoke into the table, "She caught me off guard and if I have one weakness it's crying women." He sighed, "Her boyfriend dumped her for someone else and she needed someone... ANYONE to take to the dance and there was nobody else available." He looked up, "Wait a sec... I find that hard to believe now that I am thinking about it."

 

Charity shrugged, "Maybe you are the best choice."

 

Ryan rolled his head to the side to look at Charity, "Explain?"

 

She looked thoughtful, "You are a freshman. You actually have your own title, unlike most of the students here who are piggy backing off their parents." She leaned back and started to count off on her fingers, "You are a fierce warrior who slays demons, making you one of the strongest mages in the entire school, possibly the country." Monique chimed in, "You are zee personal black Knight to the king!" She put a finger to her chin and tilted her head to the side with pouty lips, "Not that I understand what that means. What is zee black knight any ways? We do not have this in my homeland." Ryan shrugged, "I made it up, I got the oath from a 80's heavy metal hair band song." He finally sat up, "I just didn't like those morons from the peanut gallery badmouthing the king. I figured it'd shut them up."

 

Aldelmo quietly remarked, "I do not understand a word you said."

 

Ryan snapped at him, "I can't be expected to explain everything I say to you!" Aldelmo held up his hands defensively, "Okay! You don't have to bite my head off!" Ryan sighed and rubbed his eyes for a second, "I... sorry to snap. Just... got a lot on my mind right now." He dropped his hand into his lap, "So... she's asking me out because I'm a good catch, huh? Well... I'll do my best to be a pleasant escort." He got a far off look, "Actually, we got about... ten days, right?" He smirked, "I'll do better than alright. I make this the best dance she's ever had."

 

Monique looked puzzled at Ryan, "Huh?"

 

Ryan looked back, "Well, If I'm going to do this, let's go all out. I'll use every trick in the book. I got some new cosmetic products I was working on. I've been meaning to go harvest some spider silk from that dungeon with all the giant spiders. I could make a dress for her. Something sleek, sensual, and able to handle fifty caliber rounds without leaving so much as a bruise!" Charity was looking a little concerned, "I... don't think a girl wants the gift of... armor." Ryan smiled at her, "Ah! But that's the challenge, isn't it? To make it fancy and yet, practical. A true test of my skills. Besides, I need to practice my enchanting and what better way than to try it on real world practical applications?"

 

Charity nodded, "Well... just as long as you don't get carried away." Ryan nodded, "Carried away? Great Idea! I've been meaning to build a zeppelin! I figured out how to separate hydrogen and oxygen out of water, so this is a chance to test that!"

 

Monique started to look increasingly concerned, "A... zeppelin?"

 

Ryan nodded, "Yeah! Imagine how jealous all the other kids will be when you get to fly off into the sky at the end of the night while all of them have to take carriages." He looked off into the distance, "And I could hook up that PA system I was working on... maybe... fireworks?" He leaned back, "Ten days for a pyrotechnic media spectacular... doable."

 

Charity looked at Ryan equally concerned, "Reed, she is just looking for a date not a... I'm not even sure what you are talking about." Ryan waved a hand in a dismissive gesture, "Please. You know how many Disney films I've seen? I know exactly how this has to go. Grand sweeping over the top gestures is the only way to go." He nodded slowly, "And looking hot. So... a dress that is worth as much as a small third world country's entire GDP for a year and..." Then he looked down at his clothes , "And I'll go full James Bond."

 

Aldelmo looked like he wanted to speak, but at the same time it was an unpleasant topic, "Uh... Look. This is a good time to bring something up." Ryan looked over, "What?" Aldelmo pointed at Monique, "I asked her to the dance." He forced a smile and looked hopeful. Ryan stared back then shrugged, "Oooookay. No problems here." He stood up, "Look. I need to get on top of this, so I can't waste time. I'll be over at the workshop until I get all this finished." He turned and started walking off. Aldelmo let out a long sigh of relief.

 

Monique looked at Aldelmo, "See? I told you zee wouldn't care." Aldelmo looked a little embarrassed, "Sorry. I... know you have a thing for Reed." She smiled back, "Life... she is complicated. I have zee thing for you as well." Then winked.

 

---

 

A few days later, Ryan was back in the lunch room when he saw someone approaching his lunch table.  He looked at Charity, "Did you set this up?" Charity just shrugged as Thomas Hargrave stepped up. The dinning hall wasn't that crowded at this time of day, but those present grew quiet. Thomas approaching Ryan was an event worthy of murmuring speculations. Thomas cleared his throat, "May I sit?" Ryan looked up, "I don't own the place. Sit wherever you want." Ryan went back to his food, picking up the lone pickle and giving it a bite.

 

Thomas sat down and Ryan started to stand up. Thomas held up a hand, "Wait! I... Can We talk?" Ryan looked back at him and sighed, "If I say no, will you leave me alone?" Thomas appeared to not have a reply. Ryan sat back down, "I suppose we'll need to get this done sooner or later." He gestured to Thomas in a 'go ahead' sort of fashion. Thomas reached into his pockets and pulled out a small pouch that he put on the table, "Here." Ryan looked at it but didn't touch it, "What is it?" Thomas waggled his head back and forth a bit, "I figure that I must have gotten you to cough up at least a silver a day three days a week for five weeks, so if you round it up and add interest, that'd be about three gold."

 

Ryan eyed the pouch, then looked back at Thomas, "Yup. That sounds about right." He picked up his sandwich and took a bite. With a full mouth he asked, "Anything else?"

 

Thomas sat there for a few moments then pushed the pouch across the table, "Here. I'm paying you in advance. I'm still going to work for what I owe you." He started to stand up. Ryan pushed the money right back, "It's not mine." Thomas paused, then sat back down, "Yes. It is." Ryan shook his head, "Are you dense? You didn't take any money from me. That money isn't mine. If you feel guilty, give it to his next of kin."

 

Ryan looked at Charity, "Actually, where is Redcliff anyways? I should go visit sometime. It's on the sea, right? I like boats. I remember renting a sunfish when I was a boy scout. That was a fun afternoon..." he paused, "Then I got massive sunburns all over my back and I couldn't move because of the pain for the rest of the week." He picked up his glass, "Eventually an entire sheet of skin just peeled off me all at once. Felt like I was being flayed alive." He sipped his drink, "Ah..." He put the cup down, "good times... good times."

 

Charity looked back at Ryan, "Do you have a single, happy memory?" Ryan looked back, "I remember you." Charity blushed and looked away. Thomas huffed, "Look. After the whole... thing." He paused, "I was in the hallway the day Grobe was trying to kill you." Ryan raised an eyebrow, "So?" Thomas started, "You are a BARON. An actual baron." He gestured around, "Not like the people here. Most are riding their parent's coattails." Ryan looked from side to side then relaxed a bit, "I'm actually curious now. What's your point?"

 

Thomas narrowed his eyes, "You don't have to lower yourself, yet, you do. The whole... fang... thing." Ryan glanced at his crotch, then up at Thomas, "You mean my tiny dick." Thomas gaped then coughed as he composed himself, "Yes... THAT... And you call yourself an... h-word." Ryan interjected, "The word is halfling." Both Thomas and Charity winced as Ryan continued, "I say it because I am a bastard and I am a halfling and I have no reason to be ashamed of who I am."

 

He pointed at both Charity and Thomas, "You guys have the problem. I don't."

 

Thomas looked away, "I noticed. I thought..." He trailed off. Ryan raised an eyebrow, "Thought... what?"

 

Thomas let out a long breath and looked at Ryan, "I figured you'd turn into the biggest bully in school. You have all this power and authority. You really can do whatever you want because the king and the headmaster are protecting you and yet..." He paused, "You only fought back against people who came at you. You could have kept that Burnelli sphere equation to yourself but you donated it to the school. You tear yourself down rather than fight back and I expected you to be more... like..." He trailed off. 

 

Ryan suggested, "More like you?"

 

Thomas winced, but nodded in agreement.

 

Ryan shrugged, "Guess what? I'm supposed to be the hero. Helping people who hate me is part of the job. So forget about it." He pushed the pouch closer to Thomas, "Keep it."

 

Thomas huffed, "Look. I'm trying to make amends." Ryan slammed his hand down on the table, "And I'm trying to eat in peace! It looks like neither of us is going to get what we want!"

 

Thomas sneered then stood up, snatching the pouch. He took two steps away, stopped, then turned back, "What do I have to do?"

 

Ryan looked up. He looked down at the food, then pushed his tray away, "You really want to know?" Thomas nodded, "Yes!" Ryan narrowed his eyes, "Then I want you to do the following."

 

Ryan slowly stood up, "You will join an army, be trained, work hard, go through boot camp, make friends, then be shipped off to some hell where you will fight. You will kill men, women, children. You will work your way up through the ranks. You will lead men into battle and you will forge the bonds that can only be made in the fire of war."

 

Ryan placed both hands on the table, "You will fall in love. Get married. Have a kid. The wars will start again and you will leave your wife and child behind. You will make promises that you will break because of the duty you have sworn to uphold."

 

He leaned in closer, "Then you will make a mistake and everyone under your command will DIE. You will see their bodies blown apart. You will try to save them but you will fail." Ryan slowly twisted his head to the side, "You will do your best to support the TWO WIDOWS you created by failing to protect your men. You will destroy yourself out of guilt, fail to protect your own family, and eventually your family will DIE due to you being a failure of a man!"

 

Thomas' face looked increasingly uncomfortable. Ryan straightened up, "And that's when you will die. At that point, have the gods yank you back, inform you that NOW the REAL fun begins, and make you a chosen one before sending you to go off to murder demons." Ryan pointed at Thomas, "If you do all that, I'll forgive you. Otherwise, just forgive yourself and move on because it isn't my place."

 

Thomas just stood there listening until the rant was finished, "Wait wait wait... what are you-" He pointed a finger at Ryan, "Are you saying... that happened to you?"

 

Ryan looked skyward, "Give me strength." He dropped back down to his seat, "YES! I keep telling everyone about it, but nobody seems to get it. They think it's a dream, or a fantasy, or a lie, but nobody gets it. Reed is GONE. Past tense. Gone to join the choir invisible! Kicked the bucket! Bought the farm! He is an EX-Halfling! I am just an after image. I am a ghost. A finely tuned, forged in fire weapon. You wonder why I have no self-respect or pride or even care that I'm a baron? Simple." He stabbed his finger into the table.

 

"There is nothing left except the mission. I only have the mission. I am the mission. Reed Ratliff is dead because he does not serve the mission."

 

Ryan pointed at Thomas, "And. You. Killed. Him." He waved his hand around, "Everyone in this place killed him. Do you think, the gods are so stupid as to take someone who would be THAT bitter and make him into a killing machine? The first thing Reed Ratliff would have done was murder everyone in this school! There is no way you can make a demonslayer and let him hold grudges."

 

Ryan's voice had carried and now almost everyone in the room was staring at Ryan. The atmosphere was way past uncomfortable. Thomas slowly seemed to collapse in on himself as it finally sunk in. Charity sat there, hand over her mouth and looking like she's on the verge of tears. Ryan's face turned white, "Oh god."

 

Ryan reached over to Charity to comfort her, "Hey hey hey HEY! Its fine! It's okay! You never met that guy! You met me!" Ryan tapped his chest, "You actually are the first person I ever met... technically." Charity composed herself and nodded, trying to smile. Ryan continued, "Hey. Look. What happened to Ratliff is tragic. Terrible. Horrible.  It happens. Life sucks. But... waste not, want not, right? Recycle, reduce, reuse! And... Hey. I'm here and I'm happy... -ish?"

 

Charity nodded and seemed to calm down, "It is just... so sad."

 

Ryan nodded, "Injustice usually is." He looked over at Thomas, "Look. I'm sorry, but I can't speak for that guy, but I can say this. Let it go."

 

Thomas stared at Ryan with an utter lack of comprehension, "How can you say that?"

 

Ryan looked down, paused, then up at Thomas, "Serious time, okay?" Ryan let out a long breath, "I have killed a lot of people. I have also seen quite a number of my men killed. I have... so many regrets. However, my biggest mistake was never forgiving myself. There was no way I could ever make up for the sins I had committed, but the worst thing I ever did was try."

 

Thomas blinked, "What?"

 

"I was so hell bent on making up for the injustices of my own failures, I punished myself to the point I destroyed everything around me. Like you are making yourself suffer right now. You are hurting yourself to try and make up for your past failures. You think if you give me money or persuade me to say I forgive you, you can be redeemed. Well. I can't do that for you." Ryan glanced at Charity, "A good friend told me that life isn't fair. Trying to make it fair is pointless. Just try and make the world better."

 

Thomas looked confused. 

 

"What I mean is, you will never get it EXACTLY right, so stop trying. Make it unfair... in everyone's favor. Try to make the world a better place for people, even if they don't deserve it." Ryan lowered his voice, "I could have had you put to death. I could have had you kicked out of here. I could have had 'justice' but I don't want justice. I want a world where everyone is happy." He shrugged, "Even you."

 

Thomas looked at Ryan like his head fell off.

 

He winked at Thomas, "Instead of punishing yourself which will accomplish nothing, just... try and be happy, and more importantly, be happy without making other people's lives worse in the process."

 

Thomas just stood there as he tried to figure out what Ryan meant.

 

Ryan stood up and walked over to touch the pouch in Thomas' hands, "Use this money to help someone else who needs it. Find someone who is still alive with a life even more horrible than mine and commit a random act of kindness for them." Ryan gave Thomas a pat on the back, "You might find it habit forming. It's amazing being the hero... saving the day... and the cool thing is, you just need the will to try." Ryan raised a finger, "Just remember to ask first. Never help someone against their will. It usually only makes things worse."

 

Thomas just nodded and looked at the bag in his hands

 

Ryan let out a short sigh then gave Thomas a light punch in the arm, "We're all terrible. We're also all noble. We're both. We have a great capacity for both good and evil. You can't fix what happened, you can only fix now. Be good now." Thomas looked up with an expression of those who found the very underpinnings of their world had broken loose, "How?" Ryan thought for a bit then said, "A wise old turtle once said, 'The past is history. The future, a mystery, but this moment is a gift.'" He patted Thomas on the arm, "That's why we call it, the present." Ryan went back to sit down and finish eating.

 

Thomas stood there, silently, then turned and walked away.