The scent was familiar.
Ryan sniffed again. The cool sensation of something moist and cold on his forehead had roused him from his slumber. He was lying somewhere soft. The smell was what he was trying to mentally grasp. It was familiar. He knew it from somewhere. His mind was moving at a glacial pace. He should know this.
"Charity."
Ryan tilted his head to one side and opened his eyes to see her sitting next to him, wiping him down with a cloth. Charity paused and looked startled for a moment, but her expression returned to her normal calm appearance. She slowly shook her head, "Why, oh why do you insist on pushing yourself to the brink of death?"
Ryan closed his eyes and let he head roll back to resting position, "So I can have the joy of your company. I like it when you baby me."
Charity was about to respond when Ryan's eyes flared open, "Wait. You are here. That means the king is here." He snapped his head to look at her, "How long have I been out?"
Charity dunked her cloth into a nearby bowl and rung it out. She went back to wiping him down, "About a day and a half. You did recover enough to eat something about twelve hours ago, but you were incoherent."
Ryan frowned, "How bad?"
Charity booped Ryan on the nose, "I won't hold you to the marriage proposal, but I'm glad you love my nose so much."
Ryan blinked, "Nose?"
Charity nodded, "As I spoon fed you, you went on and on about how much you love my nose. How it was a great nose. A noble nose. Apparently there is an entire empire called the romans who would have worshiped my nose."
Ryan winced, "Anything else?"
Charity thought for a bit, "I assume your claims to be something called, the Burrito King were in jest and not an attempt at insurrection."
"I guess I had food on my mind." He looked a little embarrassed.
Charity folded her hands, "When the king came to visit, you rolled yourself up in a blanket, screamed, 'I am the burrito king. I come with many delightful sauces, Eat me!' and then proceeded to scream at the king to eat you for several minutes until he left."
Ryan blinked, "What? That... doesn't make..." He scratched his head, "I guess I really did a number on my-" Suddenly something snapped into place in his head, "Hold it." He sat bolt up in bed, "Did everyone make it out?"
Charity looked away, seemingly unable, or unwilling to answer him.
Ryan threw off his blanket to reveal he was wearing boxers, "Crap." He looked around the windowless room of the dwarven infirmary, "Where's my clothes? My equipment?" He started to get out of bed, "Maybe there's an air pocket or-"
A voice came from the doorway, "Eleven died."
Ryan turned to face the figure in the door. It was the Chancellor.
"I dug all eleven out myself."
---
Charity refused to let Ryan leave the room and forced him back to bed.
While he was there, Kyle and Charity caught him up on events. The King himself brought Kyle and a whole squad of knights to rush out to Ferramwyn. They took almost a full day to arrive, even through it was a squad the king had put together specifically for rapid response. The weather was against them. However, they had contacted the closest outpost and those soldiers arrived after only a twelve hour delay.
It still would have been too long to save anyone.
Frankly, it was a damn miracle Ryan saved as many as he did. Alas, the goal of the attack was to cripple production and in that regards, the attack succeeded. Out of the dwarves who were killed, one was the forge master, and ten were master smiths. The one survivor was the youngest master smith, who technically was only a journeyman. However, the clan leader and high priest both agreed that he would be, for the sake of the community, immediately promoted to being the new forge master.
There were a few other master smiths that were scattered around the empire, but this was a crippling blow to the nation's industrial capacity. Kyle gave the impression that Ryan should have protected the smith masters and the former forge master over the rest of the dwarves, but was never quite so callous as to come right out and say Ryan made the wrong choice.
The village would disagree. The death toll was a mere fifteen dead out of the potential lost of hundreds. Eleven in the collapse, one killed before Ryan arrived as an example to the others, three others who fought back and refused to surrender.
Of the two who had run off and escaped, one would eventually be tracked down, but he would not be taken alive. They apparently split up after escaping, so it is unknown what the last bandit's fate was. He did flee on foot through a particularly dangerous area. It is quite possible he died in the wilds to ferocious animals. It is just as likely he escape to make a full report to his masters.
Otherwise, the village was, for the most part, intact. The death toll was heart breaking, but not devastating. While Ryan remained incoherent and slipped in and out of consciousness, the Priest had already held a mass wake for the dead. Kyle was rather vague on the specifics, most likely because he was the kingdom's premier earth elementalist and would have been the one who exhumed the bodies.
Kyle went over the events to get the full picture from Ryan. When Ryan got to the part where he murdered the majority of the bandits, Charity left the room, looking ill. Kyle explained that there still was a massive blood smear in the middle of the area, even after the soldiers scooped up their remains.
They talked for another half hour, before the King finally arrived.
----
The King sat down next to Ryan's bed, "This is getting to be a habit."
Ryan shrugged, "Occupational hazard. How's the village holding up?"
The King blinked, "Reed. You stripped naked at a royal party, dressed up as a giant black beetle, flew off into the sky on a plume of smoke, flew to a village in my kingdom and singlehandedly defeated Albaba, the most wanted criminal in my kingdom, along with his band of forty thieves. You saved not only a village of dwarves, but the very dwarves that banished and excommunicated your mother." He looked at Ryan with a look of sheer disbelief, "Shouldn't I be the one asking how YOU are doing?"
Ryan shrugged, "That was the old Reed." He pointed at himself, "New Reed... mostly. I honestly don't really remember much." He paused, "I know I should be angry with them, but honestly, I feel nothing. I don't feel bad or good. I don't feel... anything." Ryan shrugged, "Besides. I work for the All-Father. My personal feelings have nothing to do with the job. I'm a solider first and a solider follows orders."
The King nodded, "I... see." He nodded, "Well, if you feel that way, I order you to attend the awards ceremony tomorrow."
Ryan blinked, "Uh... I don't think that's a good idea." He pointed at himself, "Halfling bastard, remember?" He gestured at the door, "Why don't we just slip-"
The king held up his hand to cut Ryan off, "I said, it is an order, my black knight." Ryan winced at that last part. The King continued, "I know this is most uncomfortable for you, even if you don't have any feelings about it, but the truth is, the fact that this attack happened is a huge blight on my reputation, and right now, I need to help mend things. As it turns out, the small garrison I had stationed here accepted a bribe and was 'away on patrol' when this all happened. I'd have them all hung for treason, if they weren't betrayed by Albaba."
Ryan paused, "Wait... Albaba and his forty thieves?" He smacked his forehead, "I'm an idiot."
The king looked puzzled, "Why?"
Ryan shook his head, "Never mind. Do you happen to know where Albaba's base is?"
The King shook his head, "No. We know the general area, but we could never find it."
"Pick a squad of very loyal men who won't get grabby with the goods. Have them go to that area and walk up to every stone wall, cliffside, or large boulder big enough to hide a cave and have then say, 'Open Sesame.' That's the magic password to get inside."
The king looked incredulously at Ryan, "And how do you know that?"
Ryan made a dismissive gesture, "All-Father Blessing. Just trust me on this. Hopefully the treasures you find can help repair the damage done to this village as well as refill the kingdom's coffers."
The King nodded slowly, "Very well." He stood up, "Get some rest, the ceremony is going to be LONG. Dwarves love their ceremonies." He started to leave, then stopped and turned back, "Reed..." He cleared his throat, "Good job. Thank you for protecting my subjects. I appreciate that your oath wasn't just empty words."
Ryan closed his eyes as he tilted his head towards the king, "Just doing my job."
The king snorted, "No. This... was a bit above and beyond just... doing your job." He reached out to ruffle Ryan's hair, "I'm glad you survived. Please stop almost getting killed." He turned to start walking out, but paused in the doorway, "I've grown quite fond of you."
Ryan leaned back and closed his eyes, "The feeling is mutual, old man."
The king stared back for a few moment before he replied.
"Get some sleep, Young hero."
Man what a day
I'm going to reply to your previous comment here, because I think this spot in the story would be okay to discuss what would be, in effect spoilers. Your comment about how I need to let the reader know what Ryan is thinking more in the beginning chapters is spot on. I have been thinking about it for several hours and I'd like to explain it to you, then hopefully you can tell me if you think I make any sense.
Something I was always interested in, that nobody else has truly explored was the part of Transmigration where the MC gets put in someone's body. Normally you have three versions:
1) Complete swap - The previous occupant is yeeted completely.
2) Merger - The Isekai MC winds up in the body and gets a "download" of the previous occupant.
3) Co-habitation - The previous owner is around. Either all the time, or in some capacity to explain what is going on, give advice, or somehow direct the MC with demands or ultimatums.
The first one is boring, but the other two, I don't think they get done well. #2 usually is, "You get a bunch of memories, the MC shrugs, and NOTHING CHANGES. I mean, WTF? If I got an entire LIFE shoved into the same set of memories as ME, am I even ME anymore? The concept of Identity, under those circumstances, is one I have never seen explored. It is usually just an excuse so the Author can skip over several narrative issues.
Number 3 has been explored, but usually is just, "I'm still here. Do X for me and get Y reward or Z punishment." I can't think of any story where the two actually shared the same body and basically truly lived life as one body. I'm sure it's out there. I can vaguely remember one or two, but the truth is, it usually only is a factor for about 5 chapters, then gets pushed aside and usually just turns the previous owner into a cheerleader.
HKN is a story about #3.
However, I think in retrospect, I have been FAR TOO SUBTLE about it. Here I am going, "But, I called an NPC Iago. Then I included the phrase 'Iago's seed' in a song. FORESHADOWING! Isn't it OBVIOUS WHAT I'M DOING???"
I think this is a case where I was so impressed with how I am MUCH SMRT that I f*cked the story.
I have been meaning to go back and fix several formatting and descriptions of the story. I'm sure as you read, it's obvious my writing style changed much over the past year and a half. The reason being, originally I used to Ghost Write, many years ago. When you Ghost Write, you leave out descriptions other than what you absolutely need, you group topics and conversations in paragraphs so that it's easier for the buyer to yank certain plot points, or just transplant them to something else.
Side note: Normally the editor would commission several ghostwriters on the same general "book" and then take all 3-4 versions, give them to the final author, and they would Frankenstein the final product.
So, the format of my chapters, in the beginning, is much more 'clunky' than how I've been writing my latest chapters. I mean to go back and fix all that so it's easier to read. However, I had no plans to change any of the plots or add new elements.
Maybe I should.
FTS is a story about someone who is in a new body and dealing with the "residue" of the previous owner. Original Toshi is dead and gone, but there are leftover memories without a will connected to them that will/have been integrated with New Toshi. So, FTS is a type 2 situation.
HKN is a type 3, and maybe I need to make it very clear. Instead of it being a mystery that the reader discovers as he reads, I need to come right out as soon as possible and make it clear, REED IS HANGING AROUND. He is in Ryan's head, and Ryan doesn't know it. So the reader can see how Ryan is being pushed and pulled by what is, as the Japanese would put it, a Ju-on or Grudge.
By doing that, I change it from a mystery as to what is going on (which I already am doing in FTS) to DREAD. You the reader will KNOW Ryan has someone whispering in his head, but Ryan won't know that. He will just think that this dark shadow lurking behind him, whispering in his ear, is actually his own thoughts. In effect, Ryan will have an angel on one shoulder (The Superego/blessing of the all-father), a Devil on the other (The id/Demon Heart he absorbed), and Reed lurking in his shadow (An alternate Ego competing for dominance.)
Yeah, I am not a big fan of psychoanalysis Freudian BS, but it makes for great storytelling.
Anyways, I have to get back to work. I'm really curious if you think that would work better. If in the early chapters and whenever Ryan is influenced by Reed, I just straight up describe how Reed is basically a looming shadow that leans down, whispers in Ryan's ear, and his personality changes. Because That is what has been happening, I just didn't want to tip my hand and let the reader figure it out.
However, instead of wonder/curiosity for you as you try to figure it out, would it not be better to just say, "Here you go. You know what is going on. Ryan doesn't. Squirm as you watch Ryan helpless against the Grudge inside his head manipulating him into doing things against his nature. Watch how his life is damaged by it, and he can do nothing because he doesn't even know it's happening."
What are your thoughts? I'm only up to chapter 8 on my rewrite, so it'd be easy to go back and make an update, adding in Reed's actions, because it wouldn't change any of the story. It's always been there, you just didn't know. I thought knowing would ruin the story, but maybe you knowing will make the story easier to understand and relate to.
@TheEldritchGod honestly, I'm on chapter 105 at the moment, and while Reed still being a thing in Ryan's head was a major shocker, and in retrospect I probably should have had some supicions about that. I think that even with a reread I would have trouble separating the "wow this is a bad parody of a novel world I have been dropped into, look at this guy named Iago Machiavelli " and "there are several voices in my head and they want me to do a murder "
Clearing all that up would help immensely, in my humble opinion. At the current moment it just reads like a paranoid schizophrenic having a bad day half of the time.
All that said, it is your novel to do with as you wish.
I'm just here for the ride.