They say the best foundation on which to build your home is that of a solid rock, unmoved by the strongest of storms. But when your house is built on sand, it sinks and will fade with the passage of time. At least, I think that’s what they were talking about? I never really paid much attention during the time I was forced to attend church. My parents tried to keep up the appearance that we were a functional family. I was too busy daydreaming, inserting myself as a girl character in my favorite TV shows in my head. 

I was face to face with myself for the first time in a long time. I didn’t have the actual words to express how I was feeling. But my eyes sure did. I saw the girl in the mirror looking back at me, crying. She was so fucking cute. I wanted to reach out and give her a hug. But the girl in the mirror was me. There was no way she could be me. Or, more accurately, no way I could be her. Could I? Could I actually be her? At least for tonight. I could try to be. Kenzie could be fun, and cute, and make stupid jokes without feeling self-conscious about them. She could be everything I wanted to be. I hadn't really ever felt comfortable enough to let go. I just kept building myself as fast as I could to adapt and adjust to what others expected. Maybe my foundation wasn't strong after all?

Fuck, my foundation! I quickly panicked and grabbed a towel to dab my eyes and face as gently as I could. The last thing I wanted to do was ruin all the work Lana had done on my makeup. I blinked furiously while trying to dry my face. I checked back in the mirror and to my shock my makeup was still mostly intact. My liner was barely changed, it was only slightly smudged. But it gave a nice smokey eye effect. I could still totally work with it. I took a deep breath. “You can do this, Kenzie,” I said to myself. 

Steeled in my resolution to be Kenzie, I marched out of the bathroom and into the living room, where Lana was lacing up her black combat boots. She was so put together. Her skirt and top mixed with the white and black striped arm warmers and thigh highs gave a clear contrast to my own red and black outfit.

“So--what do you think?” She finished tying the knot then looked up at me. Her brow furrowed. “Oh gosh, Kenz, what happened?” She jumped up and rushed over to me. 

“I’m okay. I promise. I’m just--not used to seeing myself.” I gave her a small smile.

Lana wrapped me in a hug. “You look beautiful, hon,” she whispered in my ear. 

After a long embrace, we let go; I straightened my dress and in my best attempt at confidence stated, “Let’s go be cute girls.” 

We decided that taking a rideshare was the best option; neither of us drank all that much, but it was nice to have the option so Lana didn’t have to be the designated driver. The ride to the Night Hollow was quiet. The low hum of smooth jazz permeated the silver subcompact. It was the only thing keeping the pounding in my chest muffled. Luckily the driver’s only words were “Hey there, ladies,” which made me blush harder than I was expecting it to. It also partially made up for the smell of stale pretzels that had soaked into the car. 

The pounding in my chest was nothing compared to the screeching in my brain as we approached the front door to Night Hollow. The chilly air surrounded us as a gust of wind blew by. I turned to Lana; she was staring at the door and trembling. The cold must’ve been getting to her. I decided to take her hand and pull her closer to me. It was the least I could do to warm her up, since neither of us had thought to bring jackets. 

“Why don’t we head inside where it’ll be warm?” I smiled at her. 

She stood still for a moment. Then tightened her grip on my hand with a gentle determination and opened the door, leading me inside. 

The club’s interior was like nothing I had ever seen. We had been inside two weeks prior, but they had gone all out for this event. Bats adorned the walls, booths were made to look like coffins, and there was even a fake “blood fountain” behind the bar. At least, I hoped it wasn’t real blood. From the way people were dressed, there could be actual vampires hanging around. 

“Velcome in!” The mass of muscle standing by a podium near the front door announced in the cheesiest Dracula voice I had ever heard. “I vant to see your ID’s!” He flapped a nearby curtain like a cape for dramatic effect. 

Fuck, that’s right. We needed to show our ID’s to get in. How were we supposed to explain the fact that neither of us looked remotely like the shitty pictures that were taken the better part of a decade ago. Still really regretting that flat top my Dad had talked me into. 

Lana took the lead and handed the overly dramatic bouncer her license and my ID from her purse. He looked at the cards, then to us, then back to the cards. 

“Vat are your pronouns?” he asked, still in character.

“She, her.” Lana replied flatly.

“Ahh, such a fine choice. Our humble castle velcomes two vixens into the night!” He handed Lana our ID’s back. Then, in what I’m assuming was his normal voice, he said, “If anyone gives you shit, let me know. Just ask any of the staff for Terry. I’ll kindly escort them out.” He raised his arm and flexed. “This is es,” he then raised his other arm, “and this is cort.”

I couldn’t help but stifle a giggle. He looked so proud of himself. Then something caught my eye. There was a small section of the wall with pictures of various people posted under a crudely written sign labeled “Not allowed on premises per Terry”. Each photo had a name written on them, but two in particular stood out to me. One was clearly a photo of our ex-friend Connor, with his name written in all red. But beside his photo was a picture with the name George under it. 

“Can I ask why there’s a pic of a goose on the wall?” I was oddly curious. I had to know.

Terry’s eyes narrowed. “He knows what he did.” There was a long pause for what I assumed was him reliving some kind of war flashback. “Anyways, you girls have fun!” 

With that, our night could really start. We made our way further into the club, the industrial techno filling the building as I admired all the outfits, decorations and everything about the place. We had been to Night Hollow once before, but I hadn’t really allowed myself to take it all in and appreciate it. My gaze finally made its way back to Lana, who was holding my hand. She was looking at me weird.

“What?” I asked.

“You’re smiling so hard right now. It’s adorable.” She bit her lip.

My heart tried to escape my ribcage as my cheeks attempted to melt my face off. Damn her! She couldn't just spring those kinds of things on me. It was unfair, uncalled for, and--okay, maybe kind of accurate given how I looked. But how was I supposed to react to the cutest girl in existence calling me adorable? 

Lana giggled and pulled me closer, “Oh my gosh! You’re even cuter when you blush!” 

My mind was doing it’s best to keep from shutting down. I had to think fast, or she was gonna have to deal with a fully melted Kenzie. “Only cause a pretty girl did my makeup.” I stuck my tongue out at her. 

Lana just laughed even harder. “You nerd. C’mon, let's get a drink.”

We made our way through the small crowd towards the bar. I was still getting used to walking in the heeled boots. Luckily, Lana never let go of my hand and took extra care when trying to walk in between people. Once at the bar she grabbed a menu as we read over the options listed. They’d already had themed drinks. But there were some specials for the event that sounded…interesting. 

They had their classic Draculatte, then the Nosferatini, Tequila Sundown, StakeDriver, Piña Count Lada, and a Bloody Gary. 

“Hey there! What are y’all drinking tonight?” The bartender came up to us. 

Lana took the lead, “Hi! We’re just looking over the specials right now.”

“Do you have any questions?”

I cleared my throat and tried to raise my voice as high as I could. “Um, what’s a bloody Gary?” I asked in my best attempt at a girl's voice. 

I hadn't practiced. It was on my to-do list, but I’d gotten so caught up with commissions and researching trans stuff that I forgot. 

I was expecting the bartender to have a confused look or something on her face because of my voice. But she just answered the question plainly. “Well, we didn’t think it was appropriate to keep the old name once Gary transitioned. So we renamed the drink.” 

That was surprisingly less complex than I was expecting. But it didn’t matter. I was making conversation, as a girl!

Lana giggled. “I’ll have a Tequila Sundown, and whatever she wants.” Lana gestured at me while handing the bartender her card. “Go ahead and start a tab.”

I frowned, “I can cover drinks tonight.” Lana had already bought clothes, done my makeup and so much more. The least I could do was get the drinks. 

She turned to me, “This night is about us letting loose and having fun. Don’t stress about this, okay? You’ve been working really hard lately. Just relax, Kenz.” She smiled. 

Damn it, how could she just smile and be so effortlessly beautiful? I couldn’t help but imagine how soft her lips were. How they would feel pressed against mine. How long I could be entranced by her eyes, the piercing looks she could give. The longing to simply lean in and whisper in her ear how much she meant to me. How long I’d wanted her, and how my heart and body ached for hers. 

Fucking hell, where did that come from? I’d blame it on the alcohol, but I hadn't even ordered anything yet. My face was on fire as I realized I’d just been staring at Lana this whole time. Fuck, do something, say something. 

“Uhhhh, I’ll have a, uh, Piña Count Lada. thanks,” I nervously told the bartender and tried to look at anything other than my best friend. 

“Right…well, if you girls need anything else, just ask for Tabitha.” She shook her head and went off to start making our drinks. 

Lana squeezed my hand. It was at that moment I realized we were still holding hands. I took a deep breath and looked back at her. She had this smirk on her face. The kind of smirk someone has when they think they know something but aren’t gonna come out and say what they know. But they know that you know, or at least suspect what’s going on. The issue was that I was in the coolest place I’d ever been, but I couldn't keep my eyes off Lana. The night had barely started, but time was already lost to me. 

Lana placed her hand on my leg. Right on the bare skin above my thigh highs. “You look beautiful, Kenzie.” 

Could you die from compliments? Because I'm pretty sure I was on the verge of an ill-timed death. 

“Not to mention your voice! You’ve been practicing, haven't you?” She shot me a look. 

“I--what? No I swear I haven't been. There hasn't been enough time to. I was gonna, but I started falling down research holes and meme pits of all the trans stuff.” Shit, I actually admitted it. “Some of it kinda hit’s home, you know? Like, I can relate a bit to what some people talk about and go through.” 

“Really? What kind of stuff do you relate to?” Lana inched a bit closer to me on her barstool. Our legs practically intertwined with each other. 

“Um, well you know. How some people feel…” 

“Here’s your drinks, ladies,” Tabitha interrupted and set our drinks down in front of us. 

 I turned to grab my drink and gave a “Thank you” nod to Tabitha. 

Lana picked hers up and took a long sip. “Why is it you always get your order mid-sentence? Do food service workers have some secret power they use to know exactly when to come by?” she said jokingly.

I thought for a moment. “Actually they do. It’s this super neat thing called looking with their eyes.”

“Oh my god.” Lana gave me the fakest angry look she had ever made. “You think you’re so funny, don’t  you?” 

I stuck out my tongue at her as we both started to giggle. We sat for a while in silence, taking our time with our drinks and soaking in everything about the club. It was really nice just to be in a space where I didn’t have to overthink every single thing about what I was doing. I could just enjoy my drink, which was amazing. I don’t think I could ever go back to beer after this. I could enjoy the company of my best friend without feeling like I had to hide. 

We took our drinks and started to walk around, exploring and figuring out what all we wanted to do. The dance floor was separated from the main lounge area. It was illuminated by a multitude of lights, a DJ in the corner, and there were even cages people were dancing in. My heart skipped at the thought of being out on display like that for everyone to see. 

Past the main bar and lounge there was an outdoor heated patio. There were booths set up with vendors advertising tarot readings, homemade jewelry and even leather crafting. 

The best thing about it all though, was the compliments we had gotten from random people. As we passed by, people commented how they loved my outfit, or asked us where we got our boots, and not a single person assumed I wasn’t a girl. My cheeks started to hurt after a bit. I realized it was because I had been smiling so much. I couldn’t even remember the last time I had felt so happy. My hand was locked with Lana’s no matter where we were; I was holding hands with my best friend, and we were both girls. I knew it wouldn’t last forever, but part of me wanted it to. 

Lana turned to me and wrapped her arms around my waist. “Hey, why don’t you head to the bar and order us some more drinks, I need to run to the bathroom really quick.” 

I felt my face heating up again. I simply nodded. I didn't trust myself to be able to form words that weren’t a mess of random noises. I slowly made my way back to the bar and took a seat, looking over the menu again. My eyes started to glaze over at all the options. The Piña Count Lada was good, but honestly I was never a huge booze drinker. Plus, I just wanted to experience everything tonight. I’d rather not get so drunk I either broke down crying, or did things I regretted the next morning. I had seen enough of that happen as a kid.

“Heya, hon. What can I get you?” Tabitha appeared in front of me. I was either lost in my own thoughts again, or maybe she was an actual vampire. I wasn’t ruling either scenario out.

“Um, can I get a virgin rum and Coke?” I gave a slight smile. 

“So, just a Coke?”

I nodded. There was a long pause before she burst out laughing. 

“Damn, that’s a new one. I’ll have to remember that. Here…” She took the menu and flipped it over. “This is our mocktail menu. If you want something non-alcoholic but still fun and fruity, I’d recommend the Jolly Slime Rancher, or the Blåhaj Blast.”

This was the moment all my research had led up to. I was going to surprise Lana with the most trans girl meme drink ever. “I’ll get two Blåhaj Blasts.” I set the menu down and giggled to myself.

I had seen a surge of memes and posts about the shark plushie being a huge thing for trans people. In all honesty it looked cute and soft, so I couldn't really blame them. Maybe I should get one for Lana for her birthday…and one for me too cause it was so cute. 

“Well, hello there.” A voice came from the spot next to me.

I turned to face a tall girl with short, pink dyed hair whose entire asthetic screamed “Butch goth.” 

Don't say it, don't say it, don't say it. “General Kenobi.” Fuck.

“I…” She paused. “Geez, I guess I need a new opening line.”

“A what?” I asked. I was utterly baffled. No one besides Lana had ever come up to me and started a random conversation before. Though she looked familiar.

She shook her head. “Don’t worry about it. Hi, I’m Kim, she/her pronouns.”

“Uh, hi. I’m Kenzie, she/her as well.” At least for tonight I was.

Kim leaned on the bar and relaxed. “Ooh I love that name! Way more original than most girls I know. Is this your first time here, Kenzie? I don’t think I’ve seen you around before.”

Okay, I’d definitely seen her before. But damn it, where? “Uhh, kind of? It’s not my first time. I’ve been here once before, but this is my first time here as--well, me. If that makes sense in any kind of way.” There was no way I was making sense.

“Nice! I totally get that, don’t worry.” She tapped a pink, blue and white pin on her jacket that I now recognized as the trans pride flag. “My friend Luna is actually doing the same thing tonight. She was supposed to be here by now though. But you know how it is early on, taking extra time to get ready, am I right?” She chuckled. “So how long have you been out? If that’s okay for me to ask.” 

“Been out? What do you mean?” I wasn’t trans. So why would she…wait…was she…oh fuck. 

I then realized where I had seen her before. She was the girl that our friend had been literally pushed into talking to. Oh no. How was I going to explain my way out of this?

Kim had a puzzled look on her face at my reply when I felt a pair of arms wrap around my midsection.

“Hey, Kenz!” Lana piped up from behind me. “Sorry I took so long. But I got you something.”

She released me and I turned around to see her holding up a black choker, with a dark red heart pendant on it. “I saw it at one of the vendors outside and thought you might like it.”

My heart leaped. How was she so amazing? I felt the tears well up in my eyes. No one had ever treated me the way Lana did. She saw me, where no one else had. She cared. 

“Here, let me…” I lifted my hair as she fastened it around my neck. “What do you think?”

It was snug, but in the best kind of way. Not to mention it matched my outfit. “I love it.” I started to sniffle but tried my best to regain my composure. 

Lana leaned in, her hands resting on my shoulders. Her face at a teasingly close distance to mine. Her lips within inches of my own. I could almost reach out and…

Kim coughed. “Uh, sorry to interrupt. I think I’m gonna go wait for my friend Luna over there.” She gestured towards the front of the club. “It was nice meeting you, Kenzie.” 

She quickly got up and walked away. 

Lana stopped, turned around and then back to me. “Wait, was that…”

I nodded my head. “Yup, I’m pretty sure.”

We both started to giggle uncontrollably while at that moment Tabitha came up and dropped off our drinks. 

“Thank you!” I said still while laughing.

I handed Lana hers and told her what it was called and received a well-deserved eye roll. We sat for another short while until the music changed tempo and Lana grabbed my hand. 

“Oh I love this song, c’mon, let's go dance!” 

I was whisked away to the dance floor, then led to one of the empty cages. Lana stepped in and held out her hand for me to join her. I had never danced in front of people before. Let alone in a club with a girl. I looked up at her, her smile illuminated by the flashing lights. There was no way I could ever say no to that face.

Lana pulled me into the cage and started swaying her hips. My body was riddled with anxiety, but I forced myself to start moving along with her. I closed my eyes and let everything else wash away. I focused on moving with the music and just letting go. Before I knew it I was shaking my hips and letting my arms fly through the air. I opened my eyes and saw Lana doing the same, except better in every way. Her body moved like she had been doing it for years. I couldn't take my eyes off of her. My heart tried to burst through my chest like an alien when she looked at me and flashed the biggest, brightest smile I had ever seen. 

We danced for what felt like hours, though in reality it was only a few songs. Time slowed as our bodies moved like they never had before. Lana brushed up against me at one point. She leaned in and started grinding her hips on mine. I felt every movement, like scorching sun bursts heating up my body. When she looked at me I felt like I was the only other person in the world. The two of us, alone, lost to the music and the motions. It was transcendent. 

Turns out, dancing takes a lot out of you. We were both panting and in desperate need of water when Lana stopped and motioned for me to follow her out of the cage.

She led me to the bar giggling and laughing so much I couldn't help but join in. My entire body was shaking, I was so excited. We got some water and headed to a booth in the back, away from the dance floor. We sat down next to each other, I could feel the heat of her breath as she turned to me. I was so thankful for makeup because my cheeks must've been as red as my outfit by that point.

“Kenzie! You never told me you were such a good dancer.” 

Hearing that name, no. Hearing that name come out of her mouth, sent sparks throughout my entire being.

“What? No, I was just following you. You looked like you’ve done this a thousand times.” I let out an exasperated breath.

She smiled so shyly. How? How was she so cute? What was her secret? I slid my hand on the table over hers. She tensed up almost as much as I did. I loved being so close with her. She made me feel safe. Lana was...special to me.

She turned to me. “Hey, Kenzie?”

“Yeah?”

“I don't want this night to end.”

I twirled the pendant on my choker, I needed to fixate on something. My chest was floating and my mind was wandering. I should tell her how it had been the greatest night of my life. How much I had loved being with her and how fucking pretty she was. I didn’t want the night to end either. 

“Me either.” It was all I could manage to get out. My mind was going a mile a minute.

I felt a pit deeper than I could fathom form in my stomach. The night had to end, though, as much as neither of us wanted it to. Tonight was the last night I could do this. In the morning, I’d just go back to being…

Lana put her hand on my cheek, turning my head to face hers. Her eyes screamed want and desire. She looked at me like I was the only other person alive. Her lips pressed against mine. Everything dissolved. Anxiety, the next morning, who I would have to continue being. Nothing else mattered in the moment except for Lana’s decadent kiss. 

RavenKane

So many things happening! I hope y'all are enjoying this story as much as I did writing it. I love these disasters so much and I can't wait to share the finale. Only two more chapters to go! Thank you for reading!