![](https://cdn.scribblehub.com/seriesimg/mid/20/mid_413997.jpg)
Windy could only hug her knees as she sat in despair. She still remembers the night her village was attacked by that evil gang. They killed her parents and everyone else in cold blood.
They found her hiding inside a closet.
She still remembers that man’s delicate voice as he told his men to take her to the city to sell her.
She had never been to the city before. Her clan forbade any interaction with the outside world, but as a curious young lady, she always knew when to ask, as the elders who sometimes left to get supplies would have looser tongues when they were drunk.
It was her fault. All of it was her fault. She remembered as tears dripped from her eyes.
She found him almost dead by the river bank and decided to help him. She kept him a secret from her tribe, or they would have killed him. But…Who knew that he was a wolf, who after getting better got some men together he attacked the Village to plunder all its treasures.
They never expected the Villagers to resist, so they killed them all after raping the women.
They called themselves the Dark chamber.
She only survived because of that man. He said that she saved his life so he would save hers and now they were equal.
What kind of twisted logic is that?
In the end, she ended up here after changing hands a dozen times, until that evil woman bought her, after making that mouse bite her. She said something about a noble bloodline.
Did she need to whip her like that, just because she refused to obey?
She could only sigh as she looked at the two poor girls who were with her sleeping. Those two were orphans who had bad luck too. They seemed to have been given some sleeping pills but strangely they didn’t affect her. She just pretended to be asleep waiting for a chance to escape, but even after chaining her, they still closed the Vault’s doors locking her in. Why is that woman so careful, it was as if she had been robbed before.
Looking at the room around her full of treasures she felt her heart bleed. Many of those things belonged to her family. She had never understood how precious they were. “Are they really precious?” she asked herself. At first, that was what she thought, but after seeing that stupid Penguin painting that the old man brought a few hours ago, she began to doubt her judgment and aesthetics. The man said that he didn’t know what this was but that he felt it was worth something. He asked that nasty woman to try auctioning it for him.
She realized that this thing was probably garbage, yet somehow she liked it.
Suddenly, her eyes fell on an ugly vase in the corner. Did it just move? No, Impossible,
It moved again.
Could it be haunted? The girl wanted to retreat to a corner but couldn’t because of the chains that tied her to the wall.
The vase moved a third time, and this time a boy came out of it. How did he fit in?
He was wearing black stockings on his head, so she couldn’t clearly make out his face. But maybe, just maybe, this guy might be her prince charming who would save her from this nightmare.
…
Tom slowly sneaked out of the Vase artifact to be faced with the beautiful eyes of a girl that was looking at him. She was not very pretty but had a noble air around her.
At first, he panicked, but after seeing the chain around her beautiful ankle he knew that she was part of the merchandise. Two other girls were sleeping beside her.
He slowly put his hand on his mouth indicating that she should stay silent. She nodded in response. What a good girl.
Looking around, he couldn’t easily appraise the treasures here. So he asked the system for help, but it didn’t respond. So he called again…. Still nothing.
What the F*ck? Didn’t it say that it would give him further instructions later? This stupid system was truly whimsical. What to do now?
Well, he had come prepared, the Greedy Vase that hid him had a huge storage space so he would only need to get all that stuff and then run away.
“Do you want help?” He asked the girl who was looking at him with expecting eyes.
She nodded with a smile.
“Then get to work.” He said as he began to store the treasures of the vault in the vase under the shocked eyes of the girl. The process was a little slow as he had to sacrifice a drop of blood to the vase, then keep holding the treasure for a few minutes for the vase to swallow it.
“Some help here?” Tom asked the girl.
She quickly nodded and stood up then began to hand him the treasures. She also contributed a few drops of blood after seeing that Tom was losing too much. That is until her hands touched the penguin painting, smearing its edge with her blood.
A light shone from the painting as it was lit with a blue flame. Then sparks of light began to leave it and hit the girl who moaned in pain.
Tom, who didn’t know what to do, stood in shock as he watched how the cheap tribal cloth pouch that the girl was wearing reacted to the light and swallowed a part of it as the girl collapsed on the ground as the painting turned into ashes that scattered on the ground.
“What the F*ck?” He wondered. He quickly checked on the girl.
She was still alive, just unconscious.
He frowned, and after making sure no other strange things happened, he continued to pack the things here making sure that his blood touched nothing besides the Vase. Then after he finished, he took the girl inside the Vase. He can’t leave her after all. Then after looking at the two other girls he did the same. They were pretty.
This Vase was an S-ranked treasure that could store and restore all things at the cost of a drop of blood. The most amazing thing is the fact that it can change its appearance and its information.
After giving it to that merchant, under the instructions of the system. He sneaked into the store and went inside of it then waited.
Too bad he could not see what was going on outside, so he had to wait until after midnight to make sure that there were no enemies.
Now, he stood with the vase in his hand looking around the empty Vault. Mission accomplished. Too bad the system was still ignoring him.
He took out an escape talisman from his pocket and activated it. Hopefully, he would not end up somewhere dangerous.
….
When Victor woke up he was in a hospital bed, he could clearly smell the distinct disinfectant smell in the air and feel the tube going from his nose to his throat.
He tried to sit up but couldn’t, it was as if his body was not responding correctly.
“Ah…” he grimaced in pain.
“Oh, Young master, you’re awake!” a hot nurse yelped and ran to his side. Victor who was lying in bed could clearly appreciate her bust as she leaned over him to take out the medical tube in his throat.
“A….” He tried to speak but his mouth was a little dry, but after a few tries he could speak
“You want to ask how you got here? It was some maid…” She said,
“No,...... Can….. Can you give me a kiss?’ He asked lecherously as he licked his lips.
The nurse was startled but after she pondered for a second, she smiled. Then after looking to the back making sure nobody was watching she shyly got near and pecked him on the cheek then retreated briskly.
“Ahh. one more, one more, on the other side, For the symmetry.” He said bashfully, making the nurse freeze a second and then with a shy look on her face. She leaned over him so that her lips could reach his other cheek expecting him to use the chance to steal a kiss from her lips, She was not that naive.
But to her surprise, the moment her lips touched his cheek he used his teeth to bite her throat that was right across his mouth.
The nurse tried hard to let go but couldn’t, she tried again but Victor’s jaws were as if they were made of steel. He was mumbling something.
In the end, she was able to retreat leaving a chunk of meat in Victor’s mouth as the world distorted around them.
Victor was now standing while chewing in front of a demoness that was holding her throat in pain.
“Trying to play those stupid soul games with me, are you an idiot? Did you really think I would surrender my soul to you with only a nurse cosplay?” Victor asked casually as he inspected his ethereal body, this was his soul and he was now inside his soul realm. After that, he looked at the demoness facing him.
She had the appearance of a woman with a cat head. And no, She was not cute at all, not of the sexy type you read about in novels. But the nightmare fuel breed you might encounter in a horror story or a Lovecraftian novel. She had red glowing eyes and wild fangs that protruded randomly from her wide mouth. Her body was long and slender, too slender. He could see her bones through her gray skin. Her claws were boney, long and sharp, ready to pounce on her prey.
“How could you move? Why did you know?” The demoness asked in a hoarse voice as she frowned. She was not speaking using a language, in the world of the souls there are no languages. But they could strangely understand each other.
“Why would I tell you? Now, how should I eat you?” He asked as chains began to rise from the void and constrict the demon.
“Ahh… How do you know these soul defense techniques? Who are you? ” The demon shouted, touching her aching throat again, to feel a hot crest was burned in it. it must be when he bit her.
“Damn you, you cursed me you piece of sh*t. How can you?” She screamed as the chains constricting her got tighter.
“This is my domain, although you used some of your energy to fool me, it is still my home.” He answered as he floated there inspecting her.
“You are crazy, you can’t kill me. I already have your body. If I die your body would die too. You better surrender.” The demon said.
“Ah…. You guys are really good at lying. I almost believed you. As long as this body has a soul it would not die. Where are you from, Volan or Lisvor? No…., I heard there are dirty cats in Turval. Are you one of Kivar’s minions?” Victor asked lazily not expecting an answer as those demons were usually very tight-lipped. He didn’t need one anyway. He would have all her memories when he devours her soul.
“How do you know about this? Who are you.” The demoness asked,
“I? I am just a friendly young master.” He said arrogantly.
“Then let this lady go. I will not bother you.” The demoness said as she felt the chains getting hotter.
“Would you think I would let you escape after entering this dragon’s den? I want to eat you. It is very rare to get a higher demon soul readily served.” He said,
“Damn you.” The demoness screamed as the chain around her body began to glow red hot making her realize that he was going to burn her. How does he know this? The unconnected world didn’t have extensive knowledge in the arts of the souls.
“Do you think I would let you win this easily? I just have to reveal myself to the world and now that I have your body you would be sent into a dungeon for eternity or get destroyed with me.” She said with anger,
“You can’t do that. You will just be eaten obediently. Now be a good demoness and get fried quietly.” He said dismissively as a chair materialized out of thin air and he sat on it with his legs crossed as if he was waiting for the barbecue to finish.
“You will pay for this. Do you know who I am? The demoness shouted.
“Just another pussy. Why would I want to know your name?” he asked with a smirk.
“Damn you…” The demoness shouted as she sent a burst of energy into the depth of the darkness.
THE SYSTEM DETECTED AN ANOMALY. FOREIGN OBJECT FOUND. ID WAS COMPROMISED. ELIMINATION INITIATED. CONSTRUCTING DUNGEON…. ELIMINATING ID HOLDER… TARGET ELIMINATED… |
“Now you’re dead………. Now ….. Any second…… Why are you not dead? ……..ahhhh………” The demoness screamed as the chains around her burst into flames.
“Nice to meet you and goodbye. You will make a good fertilizer for my soul.” Victor said as he watched her unwillingly turn into a cloud of sparkling dust that floated toward him and then integrated with his ethereal body.
The next moment Victor felt a pain going through his entire being… Oops, he seemed to have eaten too much. That demoness was stronger than he thought.
Honestly I don't see a problem with the story. Just write what you want and I'll enjoy it regardless. I only ask you unlock Victor's bloodline already so we can have some lemons
I only ask you unlock Victor's bloodline already so we can have some lemons
Yup, that's what everyone want, or at least two of us 😇
@Zera642942 There are dozens of us. Dozens!
@GavDark we are venom.
I really don't see any issues with the story.
Again, if you feel you HAVE to change things, I voted for seeing a bit more detail about how Victor fell in love with Lily. I also voted to keep the rape of Alpha.
They live in a world that is darker and crueler than our own. Bad things are going to happen to people. Victor is trying to fix things in his own way, and I like the path he has chosen so far to do it.
Keep up the good work!
ya, honestly, who the f*ck has complained about the story? all i see are compliments everywhere, im so confused lol. none of these changes would make things better, they are all minor details, it's the writing style/setting/character interaction that make it entertaining. the only thing id say is it needs s*x lol, having a debauched young master and a giant harem without s*x is pretty lame >.>
Tom’s harem -1
Honestly I like the story as it is. Victor isn't a hero more like an antihero . I would prefer you work on the timeline of the story though because I am confused I mean what happens at what time?
I don't really feel like there's anything in particular that really needs to be changed, personally.
I still don't see these things in the poll that you want to fix as problems. Why do you think those things as problems? Care to explain?
I said it before, some people are very sensitive... And those are the things i am considering. I am really trying to know what is working and what is not. everyone has different preferences.
@Akaichi "Everyone has different preferences." That's right, so don't try to appease everyone. Victor isn't a good person. You made that clear. Don't try to paint him as one. Everything works because he isn't a good person.
@ShadowTheUnknown That's the problem. I am righting Victor as a good person. But he kept apearing as a jerk.....
@Akaichi For me, I don’t wanna to change anything the story is good as it is. Victor’s jerkiness was funny to me, cracking me up a lot.
but if you wanna to address younger audiences, make his young harem members virgin, remove all those hard to stomach things like ntr & rape.
However, your choices up-to-date in the story are what makes it entertaining and addicting. If you change the story like I suggested, it’d make the story more generic and less interesting.
@Akaichi To me, Victor is a morally gray character that is closer to good than evil. In fact, he is a good person if you think about his environment. An environment that is so distant from what society deemed to be good.
If you are trying to make him appear more like a better person, then I think that you should have male characters that he would help. His attitude towards helping females while males should be able to solve their problems can be worked at. I mean you don't have to erase his bias. you can just lessen it to an "If I'm going to help a man, I want to profit" kind of attitude.
This is just a suggestion given by a sleepy reader. You can ignore it if you want.
@Akaichi please let victor like that nobodys love the heros we need a guy who only fight for his people the othe people doesn´t matter if them want a person for him then he have a reason for fight please let victor like he is right now![llanto de gota](https://www.scribblehub.com/wp-content/themes/writeit-child/emojis/clear.png)
@Akaichi We know Victor is a decent person to those around him, we can tell that much, but to everyone else he is an asshole. He acts like, well, how you said he would act when he first landed in the city as an act. Thus he acts like an entitled know it all asshole, which does get old imo. Hes supposed to be a guy who was a father, a husband, and someone with a lot of experience, as he was well into his triple digits, age wise, before he regressed but we havent seen that at all other than his use of knowledge paying off on his gambles.
@Akaichi he's a good person to his friends/subordinates but overall he is evil and that's fine. in your setting everyone is either evil, a slave, a good scion, or dead. dont listen to a few vocal morons, your story is excellent and dosent need a rewrite, just flesh things out in the school arc by addressing all of these open plotlines like his fiancee, business, and character development of his maids if you want them to be important.
@Akaichi the thing is when you try to accommodate to the ppl that is sensitive you forgot the ppl that already like the current story, this is why most author that rewrite stories fails
@Akaichi Okay, so I know that many of us don't want you to reboot the whole story. But, if you think that you can make a good story with what you have in mind. How about trying what you are thinking of while continuing this one.
@ShadowTheUnknown That's what I am doing.
@Akaichi Oh, so I can read a good guy Victor? That is going to be hilarious when we compare both Victors.
@ShadowTheUnknown Not good guy, but a better guy.
@Akaichi I can't find the word to describe that Victor so I went with Good Guy.