Chapter 11: Journey 2
"That's a lot of zombies." To others, it may seem like he was worried about the number of zombies but in reality, all he was seeing was wasted money.
'If they weren't here, me and Ye Lian would easily kill them and I could get profit from this!" He separated himself from the crowd and checked on his phone. He currently had to get OriginalLoli 5 zombie corpses and 10 zombie gels before two days.
'I'll do that later, I guess.' Tatsuya came back after 2 seconds and spoke with Shana.
"I'll go and distract them with Ye Lian. You all run after the zombies are out the way. Understood?"
"What?!" Shana was shocked at Tatsuya's basic yet absurd plan.
"Alright, see you later for a bit! Ye Lian, let's go!"
Before she can voice her disagreement, they were already gone.
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In some random smart phone shop near the others' hiding spot.
"And I set this thing around me..." With mana strings (which were not that hard to make or even learn how to make), Tatsuya tied a lot of phones around his and Ye Lian's neck.
"So Ye Lian, I want you eliminate those zombies chasing me one by one and collect 10 zombie gels for me." Ye Lian nodded.
Tatsuya let out a sigh and and prepared himself mentally.
"It's time, wish me luck, Ye Lian. And make sure you don't let yourself be seen by others killing and collecting those gels."
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"~We're no strangers to love~"
It was time, Tatsuya started running and the sound attracted the zombies.
"Get rick rolled, you fucks! Woohoo!" Tatsuya seemed to be having fun playing tag with the undeads. Ye Lian began with her mission of killing and getting normal zombie gels. She doesn't like it, but she knew Tatsuya needed it.
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Meanwhile, Shana was shocked at the sight of Tatsuya running away from a horde of zombies with a smile in his face.
'Has he gone crazy?'
However, she remembered his instructions. They went their own way while Tatsuya distracted the horde.
=-=-=-=-=-=
Tatsuya grabbed removed the strings of phones around his neck (he had three strings, 9 phones each). As for how he was able to set it up, it would just be a waste of word count to write that in.
Anyway...
He threw them out at another direction after he made sure he was out of the others' sight. Ye Lian arrived next to him with 10 zombie gels. He patted her.
"Good job, Ye Lian. Let's catch up with them, shall we?" Ye Lian felt comfortable when Tatsuya patted her.
'I'll just find another horde somewhere, we can't waste more time.'
=-=-=-=
"Hey, wait up!" Shana looked back and saw the two, Ye Lian and Tatsuya, with the latter carrying the former.
"Y-You two are still alive?!" Shana and the others were flabbergasted. They stopped running so the two can catch up.
"Well, duh, of course we would be. Alright, let's continue running again." As for how they managed to catch up with the others, he simply ran really fast while carrying Ye Lian.
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The plot found its way to mess with Tatsuya. On their way, they managed to get the attention of several zombies. They took shelter at a nearby building. The building, however, had a rotating door.
"Shit! Kill whatever goes inside!" Shana and Liu Yuhao helped with eliminating the zombies coming from the door.
"Ye Lian, take this and defend the others!" He threw a spare knife at Ye Lian.
Ye Lian didn't like to use knives, but from observing Tatsuys, she had an idea of how to use a knife in combat.
While the three were busy on the front, zombies from the building itself appeared. There were two zombies and out of fear and a hint of desperation, Wang Cheng pushed one of the guys over to the zombie.
It lucky for him that none saw it.
"Wang Cheng?" The unfortunate guy muttered as he fell on the floor, in front of the zombie.
One started approaching him and he screamed for help.
However, it was too late...
Meanwhile, another girl was targeted. She was holding her weapon, a knife, with shaky hands.
"Help me!" She shouted as the zombie jumped towards her.
Fortunately, Ye Lian managed to kill it on time.
=-=-=-=-=-=
"Phew, we're alive, thank goodness." Liu Yuhao sat on the floor and heaved a sigh of relief.
"Wait, we are missing three people." Shana's eyes widened.
"AHHHHH-!"
"HELP!"
They were heard from the second floor. Shana was about to rush upstairs but Tatsuya stopped her.
"Zombies appeared behind us and there's probably more there. Don't, you're just risking your life for two corpses. Also, the other one is there." Tatsuya pointed at the third one, who was also dead due to Wang Cheng's doing. Something no one knew.
Shana's legs weakened and she felt down.
"Four of them already died, goddamn it! What if they all-" Shana's mutterings stopped as she felt Tatsuya's hand on her shoulder again.
"It's not your fault, it will never be. The situation was against us and there was nothing we can do. Rise up, Shana, we have people to rescue." Tatsuya was horrible at consoling people but this was best that he could do.
Shana let out a deep breath and stood up, with the sword supporting her.
Tatsuya stood back and looked at the remaining students.
+=+=+=+
"This was all your fault! People died because of your stupid suggestion, Wang Cheng! Go to hell!" One of the angry survivor tried to murder Wang Cheng with their knife but Shana quickly disarmed him using her sword.
Liu Yuhao then punched the attacker.
"Have you gone mad?! These weapons are for protection, not for killing fellow humans!" Tatsuya looked at Wang Cheng and he had this look of anger and disgust. It only lasted for a second and this solidified Tatsuya's thoughts about Wang Cheng.
'A scheming coward.'
"It's alright, brother Hao. He's probably just stressed and scared, let him go." Liu Yuhao did and Shana sheathed her sword.
"Let's go."
Tatsuya continued looking at Wang Cheng, simply observing his every movement.
"Eh, bro Tatsuya, is something wrong?" Wang Cheng felt nervous under his observing gaze.
"... Its nothing, let's follow Shana."
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2/2
Aight, I will rewrite this tomorrow.
ok, after reading this first batch of chapters, here's my opinion.
First, while your chapters are rather rough, your take on the whole reincarnated business is a very good concept. it can be a rather fun endeavor to see some sort of debugger fixing an anime/fantasy world that went off the rails due to outside interference.
Hell, more than the protagonist, playing on the strength of an outsider who knows the plot, make him take various roles, not always replacing the protagonists.
Make him work as the old sage that gives tips to protagonists, a pseudo villain who trashes the heroes without killing them (the "if you can't defeat me, how can you hope to defeat [insert name]!" type). Hell, make him play a merchant or even a negotiator with the enemies if needed.
It's possible for him to merely play the warrior, fixing a problem by eliminating a problem, but please understand that's really done a lot and you'll have to pull out all the stops to make it interesting.
Especially with a story such as this one, haven't read the manhwa, but I'll assume the web novel shares the same plot points, where the whole concept of evolution of zombies used the protagonist as a zombie controller, the "Restoration" Skill seemed a bit cheap in that regard. I mean, the whole plot revolved around the idea of this controlling guy with the power to control zombies, "insert ecchi" and as his zombies become closer to humans, he becomes more and more like a zombie.
Finally, your power choices were almost all around increasing power and survivability, which is fine, hell it's interesting to base them around characters that come with sets of abilities that combine and mutate each other. But understand that it doesn't leave out a lot of growth. Hell, if someone beats his combination of powers, probably nothing could be done in the first place.
The smartphone concept is a common one but, I'll be honest, considering how important it is due to the shop, I'm surprised it isn't given at the start and needed a wish. I assumed the most logical flow would have been the shop would have been unlocked regardless through a system to gain new skills and the smartphone gained through the wish served as "the source material checker", combining both into one makes it seem like an essential, not a bonus wish that helped him.
Bonus points for the gatcha skills though, while they're completely OP, they're funny and original. So props for that
Wow, thanks for the suggestions and opinion about the whole story so far. The first six chapters are actually made months ago and my whole writing style changed. While yes, I could've changed everything, I just got a little lazy and just decided to rewrite it in a way that would keep the original story but would change several thing such as dialogues and the way the events are described.
The manhwa does feature an mc with zombie controlling abilities, but clearly, the mc doesn't have anything like that. So I tried to do with a skill that might benefit the mc in the long run, whole controlling would be nice, being able to restore anything, as long as the owner owned it once, would be useful in a lot of ways.
I am not good with too much ecchi so I will not put a lot of lewds in this one.
As for the whole zombie becoming humans and him becoming more like a zombie.... hmm, I don't know, the manhwa is not finished and I kinda stopped reading it for quite sometimes. While I do remember some things, none of it includes the mc slowly being a zombie. I am sure that the mc won't take that path though since his whole mission is to fight evil gods and such. While I still don't know who, I have an idea of when that would happen.
As for the abilities he got from the wishes, I simply took suggestions and learned about them. About those being all around increasing power and survivability, I intended to take those kind of abilities since the whole thing about the mc is that he hates fighting (cause its tiring) and he doesn't want to die for a second time. Yes, I know that it wouldn't leave that much room for growth and I have a few ideas for that already (all focusing on the growth of the mc and not just the skills).
I always wanted to try and write a story without any sort of systems. To replace this, I got a phone. While I would agree when I say that the shop is indeed the important bit for the phone but I also plan on making more important usage for the phone (something I do not plan to spoil). As for why that isn't a given, I do not know how past thought of all this. I have barely explored all the usage of the phone so I'll try to make the phone reasonably OP.
I also have to admit, I had fun with creating those skills. All it took was one session of washing the dishes for me to think of that.
Again, thanks for the 423 words worth of review. I appreciate it. This actually gave me a few ideas and it really helped pinpointing some of the future things I need to think of later on, so again, thank you so f*cking much.