It was weird looking at the true form skill being used from the outside. Yes, sure, I’d seen it be used by other players, but this was different. This was my friend we were talking about here, not an interdimensional remote-controlled doll.
I’d been a bit nervous when the transformation started. What if something went wrong somehow? I hadn’t transformed into my true form, so what if Frank turned into something completely different than intended?
My worries were unfounded, though. Just like in the dream, what came out on the other side of the transformation was a guy a bit taller than before. His skin had also darkened, and as expected, he’d grown some bull horns.
Bull-Frank stumbled backward, opened his eyes, and blinked three times before looking around, and then down at himself.
“Oooh, shit. I feel… weird. But also great. But also weird. I love it.”
Yup, still Frank.
“Everything alright?” I asked.
He glanced at me. “Are you kidding me? I mean, sure, not used to this yet, but it feels awesome! No wonder you like being in your true form too!”
“It’s not her actual true form, like I said,” Elyssa started, looking over Frank. “You, on the other hand… This is definitely your true form.”
“Wait, what?” I spoke my thoughts out loud.
She turned to me with a grin.
I frowned. “You’re messing with me, aren’t you?”
I expected her to start laughing, but instead, she shook her head. “No, I’m serious. I don’t know why, but this young man can take on his true form without any problems. You are still the only person who I couldn’t help with that.”
My frown deepened. What was up with that? Why me?
“Wait! I have horns! Like… are these bull horns? Ha! I was right about the cow thing!”
I sighed and looked over to Casey. She… actually wasn’t staring at Frank like I thought she would. Instead, she was frowning and staring at the floor, probably in deep thought.
“Well, I’m happy with the surgery, doc,” Frank said. “Next one on the chopping block?” He glanced over to Casey. She didn’t react. “Heeey, girl are you with us?” He walked over to her and waved a hand in front of her.
“Huh? What?” She startled. “Oh, yeah. Sorry. Was just… thinking about something,” she said while standing up.
“What, are you getting cold feet now?” He gently poked her with his elbow. “C’mon. Come over to the dark side. We have cookies! And also bull horns and fox ears, apparently.” He smirked in my direction.
Both me and Casey rolled our eyes as she came to stop in front of the still-smiling Elyssa.
“She’s not gonna have bull horns or fox ears…” I whispered to myself whilst shaking my head.
“Hmm? Then what do you think your friend’s true form is going to be?” Elyssa raised an eyebrow at me.
“Yeah, you’re acting as if you’ve seen the future or something!” Frank accused me.
Once again, I looked into his eyes, wondering how his off-hand jokes kept hitting the mark and then sighed.
A moment of silence followed.
“Seriously?! You can see the future too?! How many superpowers do you have?! Or rather, why didn’t you tell us?! We need to quickly go and buy all the lottery tickets!”
“That’s not how lottery tickets work…” Casey added.
“No… Look. It was a one-time thing.” I tried to deflect. “You see, I… I had a dream two days ago. We were fighting the new boss monster from the underwater place together. You were… what you are right now. A guy with bull horns, an axe, and a shield.” I looked at Casey. “And Casey stood in the back, using magic. She had silver hair and bunny ears. That’s all I know, okay? I woke up shortly after. And anyway, I don’t even know whether that’s supposed to be the future.”
Another moment of silence.
“Future sight… Incredible,” Elyssa murmured. “I didn’t think such a thing was possible…”
“Wait, slow down,” Casey spoke up. “So I’m gonna be a bunny girl. Alright, I can… deal with that. That actually sounds pretty cool. But why would we actually fight a dangerous boss monster with our real selves?! We can’t actually respawn, can we?!”
“Oh shit. You’re right. I didn’t even think about that!” Frank exclaimed.
And truth be told, I’d never thought about that either. In the game, sure, there were penalties for dying, but you could still keep playing after respawning.
But this wasn’t just a game. We were directly exposing ourselves to potentially deadly danger. A Phoenix Amulet could only prevent death once. And if we were too slow to escape after that…?
“What kind of… precognition is it?” Casey asked.
“What?” Frank frowned.
“I mean. Is it possible to avoid that future? Or is it set in stone? Will everything we do only push us toward the future you have seen?”
Now that was the question, wasn’t it? I had no clue. There was no precedent.
I could only awkwardly shrug, which didn’t assure anyone.
“Okay, let’s all calm down here,” Frank said. “How about we first try to confirm what your true form is, Casey?” He looked at her. “Maybe then we can work on the whole ‘averting a disaster in the future’ thing.”
Her lips formed a line as she frowned before she replied. “Sure.”
With that, Frank walked over to me and Elyssa began her little ritual again.
“Just like with the young man, close your eyes and focus…”
“You’re just full of surprises today, aren’t you…?” Frank whispered as Casey began glowing and morphing.
“Well… I was surprised too. It’s been one thing after another, you know?” I blew air through my nose. “I still don’t know what to think of all this.”
“Well –” Frank put an arm around my shoulders. “– lucky you have us to help you figure all this out then! Although it will probably take me a bit to get used to… uh, some things.” He eyed my fox ears.
“Yeah… I mean. Understandable.”
As our little background chat ended, Casey’s transformation finished.
And she came out of it exactly as everyone had expected. Silvery white hair, bunny ears, but still the same face our friend had always had.
Just like Frank, Casey looked around for a moment, blinking her eyes a few times, before she reached up, grabbed one of her ears, and pulled it in front of her.
“This is… actually quite nice,” she said.
“Welp, that confirms one thing…” Frank said.
“Also your true form.” Elyssa nodded.
“Aaand, that confirms another. Now we just have to deal with the prophecy of us going to fight a bigass tentacle monster.”
Joy.
heh
"everyone gets a true form but me..." maybe, just maybe, that's because you have no idea what you want to be (and also that you actually want to be a girl)
introspection is useful!
If that's the case it implies the others had a desire to become a bull and a bunny... Sounds like something else might be afoot!
@heliolea yes, a paw 🐾 is a foot.
also the true form question: how many people even realize that there is such a problem with their form. For those who feel there is a problem, but don't realize what it is..
And even when they do know. It's socially acceptable to want to be more fit, or thinner, or taller et cetera. But for those who want to be another orientation, gender, or a bunny.. Does the dismorphia cause them to suffer depression, social anxiety and suicide? Or is it the public ridicule/shaming that's to blame.
🦊
📦
@foxinabox The true form thing is basically a fantasy-like explanation for transness among other things. The real life explanation would be something along the lines of, the human brain is wired to function with a specific body. So if the physical body is too different from the "map of the body" in the brain, there are problems.
I really have no idea just how many people feel dysphoria/dysmorphia but never do anything about it since that's all they've always felt, and don't know it could be different.
@BottledChaos what about people that don’t want to have a singular defined form, that want a bit more fluidity/freedom than that? What about people who wouldn’t be able to stand being just one thing? A person whose idealized/desired form could fluctuate anywhere between the socially acceptable biped and an incomprehensible writhing mass of eyes and tendrils? Someone who simply cannot stand this immutable lump of flesh they’re in and would eventually grow bored and pained of any other configuration if it too was unchangeable? If the inner soul is so formless and ever changing, could they ever truly have a single insular “truest” form to match?
@Tonykins2000 That's actually something I was thinking about for myself. I have no idea what my true form would be because it would have to wildly change all the time.
@BottledChaos perhaps there could be no restriction on the number of times the spell can be cast, so that when the internal image becomes different from the 'true form', recasting the spell will update the form.
@heliolea I thought it's more like the true form constantly shifts without needing any outside input
@BottledChaos is Casey a girl or boy, I don't know if my minds playing tricks on me or not.
@DragonGodOphis Casey is a girl
@BottledChaos ok good, I got a little confused. Because I missed the she part in the beginning when they were mentioned. For some reason I assumed Casey was a boy.
@BottledChaos slime girl
can change form, since slimes are usually amorphous
@chaos-in-theory42 Hmm, maybe. I just can't really think of myself as some gooey creature but you might be onto something.
@BottledChaos what about some variety of elemental?
@EnergyIpad Even for elementals that don’t have static/rigidly defined forms, they’d still be aesthetically tied to their specific element. A rigid theme, even if it isn’t a rigid form.
@BottledChaos can’t believe I forgot to say this when it was relevant, but I should’ve realized that someone that took the name “bottled chaos” would be able to get my perspective here lol 😅. Idk if that emoji sent well, their depictions between systems aren’t always analogous in the emotion they convey.
@Tonykins2000 The same could be said about slimes. Without just shrugging and saying shapeshifter, that was the best I could come up with.
@EnergyIpad Slimes can have a bit more versatility if you think about it, if you consider that nanite swarms and shoggoths are types of slimes. Also, think about stem-cell type/inspired slimes.
@Tonykins2000 Yeah, it's a metaphor. The bottle is my body, the chaos is my sense of self. Doesn't help that I've realized that I'm also kinda genderfluid since making these comments. (And I guess you might be too, if you can relate to that? )
@BottledChaos I mean it’s a bit more flexible than I admit to myself, my gender that is, but that’s only because my sense of self and sense of identity aren’t all that firm right now. Clinging onto the few pieces of driftwood I got, you know? I might have a form of D.I.D. or am at least prone to developing it, so that’s another malleable aspect of me. Back on topic, the admittance part is the thing that I’d allow to ease out once I get myself in a better state. Cuz as I am, I’m not in a place to try and discern what’s gender dysphoria / imposter syndrome, and what’s actual gender fluidity.
@Tonykins2000 That's fair. Good luck on your self-discovery journey! <3
@Tonykins2000 speaking as a layperson, my guess would be whatever aspect that makes you uncomfortable / unhappy is from dysphoria. Wheras being comfortable with "mixing it up" would instead be gender fluidity. The hard part is distinguishing what comes from within, against what comes from "societal expectations". Especially with rage fueled a-holes taking the proverbial (or all too often literal) podium.
Not my own experience, but from the comic El Goonish Shive: Tedd sometimes TG's to do some baking. Skirt and everything, with gf's approval. Because in his own words, "I bake better with tits."
My own experience: I was told to train a new guy on how to use our inventory system one day. I think his name was Richard? Anyways, I got out all the important info nuggets. We went our separate ways. Almost a month later, I noticed Richard working in a skirt. I got close enough to read his nametag: Shannon. I think "whatever" and get back to work.
Anyway, I hope you have a wonderful life.