Mara chomped down on another toaster pastry, absolutely plowing through the reserve of snacks I packed. I would have tried to sneak one, but with how long she’d apparently been waiting for real food, I was afraid I might get my hand bitten off. My demon lazily kicked her legs behind her, eyeing me down as she finished addressing the treat in her mouth before she spoke to me.

“So, you haven’t told anybody other than me?”

“Are you kidding?” I let loose a half-hearted laugh and pushed my hair out of my face. “Absolutely not. There’s no way I’d risk that.” Mara shoved the last bit of her current snack into her mouth and swallowed hard. She licked her fingers free of the sticky filling, maintaining eye contact with me the whole time. Why was she like this?

“Holly, I’m gonna be honest: I don’t know if it’s a secret.” Another pastry came out of the box. Another wrapper landed on the floor. “You look like a chick already.”

“You don’t have to do that,” I replied flatly. Her words were sweet, but they were impossible. Ever since I’d summoned her, Mara had treated me in ways that bent my emotions into pretzels. Early on, I thought she’d managed to figure something out, though I hadn’t been able to piece together quite how or why. Now, having had to turn myself inside out for her to get the picture, I was more inclined to believe that there was something else at play that must’ve messed with the way she saw me. “The last thing I want is to be pitied. I know it’s bad.”

“Jesus, okay- so let me get this straight: you expect me to believe that you’ve been walking around with that hair-”

“It’s still not really where I want it.”

“- and those clothes -”

“This is actually the first time I’ve ever gone out dressed like this.”

“- and that voice -” Okay, that one was a shock. I felt my fingers touch my throat without really thinking about it.

“W-what about my voice?”

“Oh come on. You have to have worked at that.” Mara polished off the last bite of her pastry and licked the jam slowly off her thumb. “Your voice is lighter than mine, summoner.”

“Alright, but like- it being higher isn’t really the important part. There’s a lot of different aspects of voice that each affect different-”

“So you have worked on it, then.” My demon shook the box her confections came in and was met with only crumbs. “Damn, party's over.” She lobbed the box over her shoulder and it bounced past the railing and all the way down to the gymnasium floor.

“I just- I did a lot of choir practice, okay?” She couldn’t be right. If Mara was right, that meant Marcus and Constance knew. If Marcus and Constance knew… Fuck, I did not have the capacity to think about that right now. I reached into my bag and pulled out a box of gummi fish and tossed them to Mara, and she proceeded to catch the whole box in her mouth. “When you make it about worship, people start to encourage you. It really doesn’t matter what it is as long as you can sell that you’re doing it for God.”

“Wow, pulling one over on God? Didn’t know you had it in you, nerd.” Mara winked at me and sent my brain spinning. She tore open the box of candy with wild eyes, biting the top of the plastic packaging open and scattering a few fish on the ground. “I love these things.”

“THANK you! I’m glad somebody has taste.” I grabbed one of the scattered fish and popped it in my mouth. “They’re so chewy!”

“Oh definitely, they have that good texture, and they taste like that ambiguous red flavoring that’s present but not too fucking intense, you know?”

“I think it’s fruit punch!” I bounced up and down a little as I reached for another fish.

“Yeah, that’s it! Like ‘We promise you there is fruit involved, but you do not need to know the specifics.’” Mara threw a fish into the air and caught it in her mouth with ease, and something about the picture set the little hamster wheel in my brain turning.

“You remember when Ms. Cliff used to do her weekly quizzes in class?” I waited for her to chew through a mouthful of red dye and corn syrup. She swallowed with a delighted sigh and cocked one eyebrow.

“It was the only thing that made social studies worth going to, honestly. Tossing candy to kids for right answers was very her.” Mara’s tail flicked back and forth rhythmically again, making little noises against the platform floor. “She was always a sweet old lady.” She stared into me with a smirk and slowly bit the head off one of her fish. She was back in huntress mode; but for once, I kind of felt like playing along.

“Penny for your thoughts?” I leaned to the side to rest my face in my palm

“No no, I knew Penny Hawley. She was in my class. You’re definitely not her.” Mara dramatically bit the head off another fish and leaned forward. “That means you’re the shrimp.” There it was.

“I’m taller than I used to be.” I rolled my eyes and huffed and faked being pissy.

“Not by much.” Mara floated upwards with little effort and stretched, letting out a tiny squeal. “You have come a long way from getting shoved in lockers, though. Congrats.” My demon backed up to the railing and bent slightly, gesturing towards the machine. “Pretty sure it’s your turn.”

I stuck my tongue out at her and hopped up from my spot. Somewhere along the way, amongst the accusations, the fear and the secrets, the tension between Mara and I had broken. Our turns started to go quicker from that point on, the two of us falling into a rhythm. Questions that would have been events before flew by like we were having a normal conversation. In a lot of ways it just felt like spending time with a friend, albeit a friend who very much liked to watch me squirm.

Hours went on with us back and forthing like this, with questions ranging from the stupid to the emotionally taxing. I was tired and I had no real sense of the passage of time, but I honestly didn’t care. Being around Mara was easier than being around almost anybody I had ever known. The playing field was level with both our hearts on the table, and I no longer had to guard my every interaction to make sure I didn’t let my grasp on my little bag of secrets slip.

The stockpile of toys in the machine had nearly run dry, and I was ahead by three points. With only four prizes left in the mammoth cabinet, I could feel the tone of the game shift ever so slightly. Barring some major catastrophe, it sure looked like I had the thing in the bag. If Mara was anything like me, I was willing to bet she had a few questions she had been saving for last. I pulled one of the final plush toys from the machine and made my way over to what we had been using as home base since about two hours ago: an ever growing pile of stuffed animals. I flopped hard into our shared hoard, holding tight to my newly acquired and very cute plush bat.

“Oh, it’s precious. Look at the little wings!” Mara reached her hand out and ruffled the fluff on my bat friend’s head.

“His name’s Garbanzo! His nose looks like a bean!” I was a naming genius. I booped Garbanzo on his clearly bean-shaped snoot.

“Okay Holly, that’s super cute, but you are not going to be able to remember all these names. There’s like fifty of these things now.”

“You named yours!” I leaned over and flopped the flipper on the dolphin Mara had been carrying around off and on since her first turn at the game.

“You leave Coral out of this. Just ask your question already, dweeb.” Mara pulled her dolphin back and scowled, but couldn’t keep the hint of a smile off her face. I was glad she was having fun, because I was pretty sure the next question I was about to ask was a deep cut.

“I guess I’m just going to say it.” I paused for a moment, running my fingers along the fluff of the makeshift stuffed animal bed. “How did all of this happen to you?”

“Wow, you gave me something so general I can wiggle right out of it! Thanks, summoner.” Mara let me sweat it out for a second, and I sat there wondering if I had actually thrown away one of my last turns. These things worked like genie wishes, and you’d think by now I’d remember to watch my wording. “I’m just fucking with you, Holly.” Oh thank god. The demoness snaked her index finger around mine and interlocked them. “If you’re going to be my familiar, you might as well know.”

“Your familiar?” That was a new one. My eyebrow raised on its own. 

“Of course, Holly dearest. I was a summoner first, after all.” She patted my cheek and tugged me closer to her. “Now, quiet nerd. You’re about to get your answer.” Mara closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “Okay, so- when I came out as gay as a kid, nobody really gave a shit. My family barely reacted, and I only lost like one or two friends that weren’t worth keeping” Mara ran her thumb back and forth along my index finger. “That all changed when I started dating Jess.”

“She was your girlfriend?”

“If you could call it that. Jess was a church kid, too, and she was hard in the closet to almost everybody. Any time we wanted to do anything really, she was a nervous fucking wreck. The short time we spent together was all sneaking around and watching our backs, and it hurt to feel like she didn’t want to be seen with me. The push and pull of being told I was loved and then completely ignored was… really hard to deal with.” Mara’s eyes drifted off to the side and her voice got softer with the last couple of words.

“That sounds really difficult. Depending on your denomination, Criers can be- no, fuck, they’re all terrifying.” There was a reason I’d kept my feelings to myself.

“She felt the same. Jess was a believer, even if she was scared of the church. No matter what I did, it always felt like I was a package deal with shame and regret, like she was washing me out of her mouth after every kiss.” Mara was running her claw up and down my hand now, occupying her hands with mine as she spoke. “I loved her, but I didn’t feel like being the person she begged forgiveness for at night.” She sighed and shifted her weight, her tail flicking in the oscillating glow of the cabinet’s lights. “I was going to break up with her.”

“So then… why didn’t you?” I moved her hand aside and took the lead, running my fingers along her hand. Mara let a slight smile flicker across her face. Her eyes looked soft.

“We got caught.” Her grip on my hand tightened. “Jess’ older brother was a fucking dickhole, and he threatened to out her to her parents. I obviously didn’t give a shit what people knew about me, but Jess?” She shook her head and huffed. “Her life would have been ruined for the foreseeable future. Her parents, her pastor, the church kids at school? They would have eaten her alive.”

“God, that’s… really familiar, unfortunately.” I scooted a little closer to her on the pile, and almost as soon as I did, she laid her head on my arms. “What did you do?”

“Whatever he wanted. He had us both on a tight leash for about a month, with more and more extreme demands to keep his mouth shut. Even if I was upset with Jess, I wasn’t about to be the cause of her getting outed to her folks.” Mara rolled over onto her back, her eyes looking up at me from the bed of stuffed toys below us. “Eventually, I confronted him. I asked him what I had to do if I wanted him to shut his stupid goddamn mouth for good.” She closed her eyes. “Wanna take a wild guess what he wanted?” My heart sunk in my chest.

“You got blackmailed?” She reached her hand up and scratched behind my ear, sending shivers racing down my back.

“Smart girl. The odds of getting your hands on a spur crystal before graduating an academy are pretty fuckin bad, but wouldn’t you know it? That little bastard lifted one the church confiscated just for me. How lucky.” Mara cupped my face in her hands. “Holly, I was 13. I barely even caught a glimpse of the bitch of a demon I managed to summon. The next thing I knew, I was waking up in Hell.”

“Mara, I’m… I don’t know what to say.” I moved her hands away from me and repositioned myself beside her, draping my arm across her torso.

“They call it getting supplanted. It doesn’t happen a lot. There’s several runes on the circle meant to prevent this shit from happening, but I was taking summer courses at a summoner’s academy, and the fact that I managed to summon a demon at all is pretty fucking outrageous to begin with.” She was getting more intense now. I could feel her voice trembling, the energy building as she went. “I blinked and we traded places. That evil bitch got my body, and I got 20 years in Hell.” Her hand was shaking, her grip on mine just on the edge of hurting. “I just think about her out there and I boil. She’s eating my mom’s food, laughing at my dad’s jokes and watching my kid brother grow up, and nobody fucking knows.” Mara’s breath hitched and she pulled away from me, her tail patting my arm as she got up. Her fists clenched, she made her way back to the machine and began to play. Cautiously, I followed her.

“Mara, I’m so sorry. That’s… it's horrible. You didn’t deserve any of that. Once we make our pact, I’ll do everything I can to help you make it right.” I slowly stepped up to her as the claw rose up, one of its fingers hooked around the tag of a plush manatee with my letter on it. When the claw opened, the toy remained stuck where it was, but it still disappeared a few moments later and landed in Mara’s arms. I gently reached out and wrapped my arm around hers. “Neither one of us is going back to the dark place we crawled out of. We can pull each other up.”

Mara moved my arm away and slowly made her way back to the pile, clutching the manatee as she sat down. The fact that she was so quiet was worrying me, so I followed behind her. If I had anything to say about it, this would all be over soon and we could both be better for it. I knelt next to my demon and grabbed her hand trying to comfort her as best I could. I ran my fingertips slowly along her skin, but she put her hand on mine and stopped me.

“Holly, listen to me.” Mara’s eyes were glassy and her voice was cold. “I have no magic of my own. I didn’t make a deal with her, she just took my body.” She held my chin in her hands and moved my eyes to hers. “Everything I’ve done tonight came from the magic you put in the circle. If you knew what you were doing, you could’ve done those things too. So then, let me ask you-”

“Mara wait, I-”

“Would you still want me even if you knew I couldn’t help you?”