'I'm hungry! But... this life sucks! Ah!!!'

I felt really weak now as the spider I thought I could take down easily become a terrible fighter I fight with.

As I was trying to get too close to the spider earlier to suck its blood, the spider has been woken up by the noise of my wings which lead to this current situation.

'I really hate these wings, damn it!'

When I was about to land on the spider, the spider unexpectedly move faster and evade my proboscis and then face its back to me before shooting out its web.

I was almost caught by that web and become his food, fortunately, I have wings and could fly faster.

The spider looks at me with its eyes, looking scary, and starts to get vigilant.

The spider may look fat and have small legs, but it was actually quick and can move efficiently on his web which makes it hard for me to defeat it.

As I try to fly closer to it, it will then move sideways before shooting me with his web and always almost catching me.

'This battle... sure is scary! I hate this form! I can't even defeat that spider! And I was even the one to be almost defeated! This is just unacceptable! I hate this!'

While I was fighting with the spider, as time went by, I was filled with fear and anxiety because I can't move closer to it and my strength was slowly leaving my body, making my focus unstable, thus unfortunately unable to evade the web, and was stuck in spider's web.

I become panicked as the web weakly bounce since the spider was looking at me intently.

I tried to force myself to break free from its bind, but if I tried to do that, my body would be halved which then become pointless again.

The spider was only an inch away from me and was already about to swallow my body, which make me feel restless and afraid.

It make me lose all the hope I once tried to revive over and over again, as my form was truly weak, so I just stop resisting and relax my body from the last time.

'You know what I like about you, Grey, although you may be a bad person, you never give up. You keep trying and trying to change yourself to become better, and it looks cool.' a sweet voice suddenly comes to my mind which makes me feel as if there's still God who's watching me.

'The fight is still not over! I can't give up! Just like what.. what she said, I never give up!'

I become overwhelmed with determination to survive after just that phrase and steel my resolve.

I gain control over my body and lift the head with great difficulty, before using my proboscis to pierce the eyes of the upcoming spider.

I'm not too sure if it will break my proboscis, but I have no choice.

The spider was momentarily surprised by my sudden attack and was unable to react, as the sharp edge of my proboscis successfully pierced the large eye in the left-center.

The spider must have been hurt as it backed away from me, and blue-green fluid ooze out from the hole.

The spider spin around the web, and then I use the opportunity to break free using my proboscis since I confirmed it to be a bit tough.

I move faster and trembling, and before the spider could attack me due to anger since I can feel it emanating from its body, I'm able to break free and fly faster towards its back.

The spider was caught off guard and I didn't hesitate to poke my proboscis on its back which was then able to poke as if poking tofu, making the spider don't know what to do.

I tried to suck all the blue-green fluid in its body, as fast as I could, but its taste was too horrible! 

I can't endure such disgusting taste, but my life depends on this, so no matter how much disgusting it is, I have no choice but to continue sucking.

The spider must have been weakened due to the loss of its hemolymph as its eight legs finally give up and prostrate on its web.

I suck and suck with so much difficulty, and even if I was full already, I didn't stop just to be sure that the spider won't kill me again.

'Ah, finally I can have a rest.' a hoarse voice resounded in my head which filled with sadness.

I was confused and scared but I just ignore it and continue to dry the spider.

'Hahaha.. finally, I can...have.. peace. Brother, Sister, you... you can't threaten.. me anymore. Mother... Father... although.. I hate both of you.. to make me born like this... I still.. want to thank you. You let... me.. live in this beautiful... world.' a hoarse voice with overflowing sadness resounded in my head which halt me from what I'm doing.

The sadness I felt was too heavy which make me feel like the world has been too unfair to me.

The spider must have been surprised to sense me halting, but continuing to suck its hemolymph make me feel bad. I.. I feel too guilty to do that.

I know.. and I'm sure that it was probably the voice of that spider because although that was a bit strange and was hard to believe, being reincarnated into this world was already strange, isn't it?

My plan.. which I thought I could carry on with ease.. seems to be a bit difficult.

The spider didn't resist me and was completely given up on living, so I tried to finish what I start, although with sadness and guilt brewing inside of me.

It took a while for me to completely suck all of its hemolymph, and as I finally finished it already, a vague memory suddenly come into my mind.

Darkness covered my eyes, and I felt that I was in a different body.

I seem to have eight feet and I tried to break what prisoning me in the dark, and light slowly greet my eight eyes.

I used all my strength to break the eggs and was surprised to see numerous eggs cracking just like mine.

The memory becomes white before turning back into another part of the memory.

I think my body seems to grow already, so do my brothers and sisters, and I'm witnessing such a cruel scene.

The large spider, which is our mother, was actually... killing and eating its own child, and treated as if its own food!

I felt scared just seeing that, so I flee from our nest, with my countless siblings.

The memory turned white again before turning back to a different scenario.

I was with my brothers and sisters, but due to our bodies, we can't seem to have our food, so my sisters and brothers start a spree of killing and eating.

It really disgusted me, and even my brother was about to eat me, so I have no choice but to fight back and eat my brother as well.

It pains me to think and act like this, but this is how we're born. Even if we don't want to act and think the thing we don't want, we have no choice but to follow fate.

Fate declares the lives of many life forms, so I have no choice but to kill several of my brother and sister, then begin to hunt for other food.

The memory seems to have stopped in that, but that was enough for me to know how cruel and heavy that spider must have been through.

Guilt and pity overwhelmed me, but it was already too late. I also need to live on, so just like him, I have no choice but to.. kill as well!

It.. it was just like me in my past life.

I was born poor, my mother died early, my father was irresponsible, leaving me to take care of my seven younger siblings and we have no relatives to get help with.

It put me in desperation, so I commit crimes, kill several people, and more, and it.. it.. feels terrible!

I don't want to be like that, yes, that was true, but... I have no choice. I can't let my siblings die of hunger.

Maybe, God still wants to punish me, so he keeps reminding me of what I have done in my original world.

Well, I'm not running away from my sin, and I was even tried to change myself, but unfortunately, before I could, I already died.

'Congratulations to the host for killing an ordinary spider. The host was able to obtain the part of the spider that can be mimicked: Back. Host level increase by 0.5' the cold voice resounded in my head which make me turn back into reality.

Note: Updates will change to (M), (T), and (F). If you want more.. You can visit webnovel for more chapters. Thank you for supporting this book and please continue to support it. Thanks again.