Chapter 15: Just let me be myself

 What we found in the net was indeed a bunny. Now, you might think that a rabbit is cleaner than a rat, but no. They can't clean themselves. Unless they get rained on, they stink to high heaven. Not that I care. Ferenc is sitting by me, as I finish the rabbit. It sounds like a waste, to throw away the meat. So, I decide to get him out of his musings. 

"Can we eat meat? And I am not asking about dick," I ask, and he looks at me as if he doesn't believe he is seeing me. 

 "How can you speak like that?" He asks me, and I just shrug. 

"When you are your own personal best friend, and no one else's, you tend not to care about what goes out of your mouth," I tell him with a shrug.

Chew on that, blonde vision. I hope your brains burns out from the inside. Your single brain cell, that thought that it was ok to try and buy a hetero guy for all eternity, gives up the last hopes for a long live, and becomes a senior citizen. 

"You are doing it again," he tells me, and I tilt my head to the side. 

"Doing what?" I ask innocently. 

"Saying profound things, and cursing me out in your brain," he looks like a kicked puppy. Funny way to express oneself, no? How many of us have even kicked a puppy? Yet, we seem to magically know what a kicked one looks like? Such bullshit. 

"Just because I am fat, I can't sound intelligent?" I ask him, waiting for him to either say something mean, or...

"You are more than your weight," he retorts, and I quirk an eyebrow. 

"Oh, I forgot. Now my worth is measured by my blood as well. Would it be ok for you, if I just let you get it all out of my system? If you keep it in the fridge, then you can turn some hot Hungarian twink into a vampire with it, no problem," I scrunch up my nose at him, and point at the rabbit again. "Can we eat meat?" 

"We can't," he says, and then opens his mouth to say something else, but I snap my own mouth shut and glare at him. 

After a couple of minutes of silence, he stands up, and begins to pace. 

 "What do you want me to be, prince charming?" He yells, and a couple of birds fly out of the canopy, and into the wide world and hopefully out of this forest. Must be nice, not to be restrained. If I try to leave Ferenc, I will probably end up back in the dungeons. "You are the first vampire I see that is not taken by another of our kind, and you are..." 

He bites his lower lip, and stares at me with a confused look in his eyes.

"Fat?" I decide to help him collect his thoughts because I am a nice guy. "And instead of behaving like a pig, I have the audacity of being a normal human being? If I oink, would it make you feel better?" 

I prepare to do just that, and he gives out a yell so shrill, my eardrums hurt because of that. I hear the panicked calls of animals in the distance.

 Good job, Beast, now the Bambies of this forest won't go anywhere near my net and I will starve to death. Wait, if Ferenc is the beast, does that make me Belle? I giggle at the thought. Goodness no, yellow is not my color. Besides, I will look silly in a dress. 

"It would be easy to hate you," he all but roars at me. I just shrug. 

"Then do it. Find yourself a nice piece of ass, and bring him to the hut. I will wait for you to come back," I lie. He waves his finger at me. 

"As soon as I go find that hot piece of ass, you cynic, you would be halfway across the country!" He accuses me, and I shrug. 

"So, because you don't want to end up empty-handed, you want to keep me here. Even though you are not attracted to me in the slightest?" I ask, and he begins to tug at his hair.  

"I find your body disgusting. Just how lazy were you, to end up like this?" The words cut through me. I have heard them before, but not by someone who says them with regret. Of what could have been. If only I wasn't... "But the rest of you? Your playfulness, your quirks? You chased the loneliness away. Darn you, why did I not just leave you in the dungeon?" 

I might be crazy for thinking this, but this sounds as if Ferenc has a crush on me, despite the fat deposits. Could it be the truth? Do I have a chance with someone who is so hot, that it is almost unnatural? 

  Hot, yes. But with more than one screw loose.

That thought makes me shiver. Just the thought that this man must have been alone for centuries, makes me realize that he is as broken as it gets. As much as I don't like to admit it, we are the same. Damaged, but for different reasons. My damages won't be forgotten, but they can be fixed. His, on the other hand...

All he wants is a friend with benefits. Until he finds someone to turn his head, and I end up as ash. 

"Let us go back to the house," I offer, but he doesn't move. Instead, he moves to me, and forces me to stand up. He takes me through the forest, and growls every time I try to start a conversation.

We reach a clearing, and I see it. Gravestones litter the place. They are not like those fancy ones you see in graveyards nowadays. Instead, they look like stones cut from a rock, and then stuck in the ground. 

"Take a good look. This is what will become of you, in a couple of centuries," he growls, and I know he is not speaking about the graves, but of himself.