“I’ll go with you.”

“You know you can’t.”

“But I want to go with you anyway! I’m an adult already, our parents can’t say no!” Clara pouts and makes puppy eyes.

Hah! I’m immune to puppy eyes! I’m immune because I can’t make this decision by myself, so you won’t be able to sway me like that!

I wish it were always this easy…

Please, don’t be so stubborn, Clara. I had enough with Ricard.

“You know our parents aren’t the issue here.” I massage my temples. How long is she going to argue? “Everyone will be from our class, the only ones you’ll know will be me, Laura, and Ricard. You won’t enjoy it anyway, so why are you so stubborn?”

And Ricard comes only because I forcefully dragged him with us…

“Muu…. fine! But I won’t talk to you anymore!” She pouts one last time and slams the door of her bedroom. “I hate you now!” I can hear her shouting from inside.

Yeah, sure. If you say so… How long did the last time last for? Was it half an hour?

I’m sure you’re curious about what we’re talking about. The answer is easy. We’re talking about a mountain trip with my college companions.

At first, they wanted to go for another barbeque party, to celebrate the end of the exams. But then a few members said we were always doing that, and that we should do something else. Then, somebody said something about sitting in front of the computer for too long and not having enough exercise…

It ended with a mountain trek. We leave on Saturday morning and spend the day climbing the mountain. We will sleep in tents and then go back home on Sunday.

The typical full weekend trip, I suppose…? I don’t know. I’ve never done this before.

So evidently, I, as a proper gamer, was against it at the beginning. I’m against a full weekend without playing DMA! Who cares about exercise? I only care about playing my game and enjoying the cries of the invaders!

But then, Laura insisted she wanted to go with me and almost threatened me into going.

…I had no choice but to agree.

So, since I had no other choice, I did the only thing any proper adult would do in this case: drag something who was against going with me, so I wasn’t the only one to suffer.

Ricard had the honor to be my sacrificial lamb.

I asked him, and he said no. I tried to persuade him without success. I pressured him to never play with him ever again, and he ignored me. So I resorted to violence – aka saying I’ll drag him with me if it was necessary. He then cried and begged, threatening to chain himself to his computer and that we’d have to drag him all the way like that.

But then I reminded him he wouldn’t get the chance to play anyway because he had to study for the exam he failed, and…

…not a second later, he was asking when were we leaving.

Though he first demanded the next time we played together we had to go into a human dungeon. To which I had no choice but to agree…

Humans, yaaay…! I’m looking forward to it. I’m sure it’ll be the best Dungeon Invasion ever.

Please, note the sarcasm.

“Anyway!” I clap my hands, having solved the problem called ‘Clara’. “Let’s prepare the bag.”

 

---

 

“Ugh, ah…” Ricard pants as if he were going to die. “A-andreu… how long, till we stop…?”

I turn around and observe him for a while, surprised. While sweating buckets, he’s slowly dragging himself to the rest of our group, leaning all his weight on a branch he found who knows where. He’s using the branch like a walking stick, but it’s trembling so much that I wouldn’t be surprised if it snapped soon.

Ricard… how pathetic are you? I mean, I’m starting to get tired too, but your state is truly unique.

“Tsk. How weak are you? Why are you like this when it isn’t fifteen minutes yet since we started climbing?”

“But, huff… But you have, huh, to count the time, hah, since we left, huff, the cars… huff…”

I watch him spout bullshit with a trembling eyebrow. “What do you mean left the cars? It wasn’t that far away, and it was flat terrain!”

“But, it still, counts as, walking… huff, huff…”

“Yeah, sure. If you say so…” I roll my eyes.

How pathetic, Ricard. I’m sure the only time you exercise your body is when you have to raise your arms to put the helmet on your head so you can play DMA. This is why you’re huffing and puffing as if you were going to die!

I can still see the cars from here! They aren’t that far. How pathetic are you?

“A-and, I’m not, the only one, huff, that’s struggling. You’re, sweating, buckets too, Andreu… huff, hah…”

This damn gamer physique…

I quickly turn around and swipe my sweat away before the others can notice. “W-what are you talking about? Don’t be foolish. It’s my skin, that naturally glows under the sun.”

“Huff, huh…” Luckily, he’s too tired to retort.

Ahaha, it’s all going according to my plan! If you lack muscle, you better use your brain!

Learn from my example, ladies and gentlemen! If you’re afraid to make a fool of yourself, make sure to bring somebody who’ll do it before you do!

This way, I have the perfect excuse to walk slowly and take extra pauses. It isn’t that I’m tired, but that Ricard is tired. I, as the good friend I am, am walking slowly and taking breaks so that Ricard isn’t left alone.

When the other guys realize we’re lagging behind, they turn around and start making fun at Ricard, who, by now, has almost fallen to the ground even with the support of his stick.

“How can you be so tired already? We haven’t started yet!”

“Hahaha! Your legs shake more than a newborn foal, Ricard! Smile for the camera!”

“Come on, Ricard! Aren’t you ashamed of yourself? The ladies are stronger than you!”

“Hah, huff… leave me, alone…”

Ricard sits on the first rock he finds that’s big enough for his ass and starts drinking from his water bottle. At this rate, he will finish it before we’re half an hour in.

“This is why I didn’t want to come…” He glares at me. “I’m too old for this…”

“Too old my ass! You’re nineteen!” I retort.

“Too old is too old, regardless of age.”

He makes a smug expression as if he just told something amazing. But with his red face what he achieves is the opposite and everyone starts laughing.

Then, after a while of waiting and talking between themselves, they turn to me. They know Ricard isn’t in a state to have a proper conversation.

“Hey, Andreu. We came here to do some exercise, so we’re going first. We’ll take the long path to the lakes, okay? Will you come with us, or are you staying with him?”

This is Oscar, the one who provided his house for the last barbeque. I send Ricard a pitying gaze before replying.

“Yes, I’ll wait for him. We’ll come together and wait where we’ll sleep.”

“Fine.” He nods before turning to everyone else. “Hey, guys! Those who want to go to the lake, come with me. The rest of you, wait for Ricard to recover. Let’s go!”

““Let’s go!””

The group starts moving one more time, leaving us behind.

From the start, the plan was to reach the place where we’d sleep first. Then, those who wanted to trek some more would keep climbing until they reached the lakes near the top of the mountain before coming back.

But now, it seems we’re splitting here. The ones with athletic bodies will go directly to the lakes before meeting us in the sleeping place.

Well, we’re in the computer science degree... Except for one or two, most of us aren’t what can be called ‘athletic’ exactly... However, the only one with such a pathetic resilience is Ricard.

Most of the group continues walking, leaving me, Ricard, Laura, Maria (the only other girl in this group), and two more guys with us.

Huhuhu! Hahaha! This is amazing! I have the perfect excuse to skip the extra trip! And it’s all thanks to Ricard!

See? All according to the plan.

 

---

 

“Ugh… Umm, argh…”

I can’t sleep. Shit.

My body is tired. I feel like I should fall asleep immediately, almost as if I suddenly died. But the ground is uneven and there’s this rock that sticks to my back, regardless of how I twist my body.

Never again. I won’t ever go hiking again. And even less, spend the night in a tent. Aaah, I miss my bed so much…

Fucking stupid rock! I want to sleep! Why are you digging your way into my sore body all the time!?

I twist and move. I try moving the sleeping bag, but regardless of what I do, there’s at least one rock driving into my body.

“Uuuh, fuck…”

Finally, tired of turning around, I decide to get out of the sleeping sack and leave the tent. If I can’t sleep, I might as well go breathe some clean air. The tent’s smell isn’t the best after Ricard’s ‘whole day sweating’ session.

He was sweating like a pig, I swear.

I fumble around due to the lack of light. There’s no need to turn on the flashlight to find the zipper. After turning around so much, I know where everything in the tent is. I stumbled upon the zipper a few times and surprised myself with the unexpected texture every single time.

“Aaaah… I can feel the fresh air in my lungs. It feels good.” I can feel my lungs being cleansed of that foul smell.

But now… now what? My whole body hurts, but I can’t sleep… I want to sleep, but I can’t because of the stupid terrain.

I knew I would hate this… Why did I have to agree to come? Can somebody explain it to me?

“I can’t understand how Ricard can snore like that. How can he sleep in this place?”

Dragging my tired body, I walk a few meters until I reach a small patch of grass. I then lay my body on top of it.

This feels great. It prickles my skin, but compared to those rocks, this feels like heaven.

“How good… I want to sleep here…”

Why did we have to set up our tents in that hellish place instead of here, again? They said something about flooding, wasn’t it?

“I don’t care about flooding. I only care for my comfort!” I sprawl on top of the grass and close my eyes. “I shouldn’t sleep here, but…”

“You couldn’t sleep either?”

I open my eyes to a flashlight pointing directly at my face. Blinded, I can’t see the other person, but this voice…

“Laura?” I ask. “Yes, I couldn’t sleep.”

“The ground is too uneven, right? I couldn’t sleep because of it.”

“Yeah… It’s the same for me.”

She sits right next to me. We stay quiet, listening to the bugs. After a while, she too lies on the grass and starts talking.

“Did you know, Andreu? When we’re far from the city, you can see a lot more stars.”

Ah! I suddenly open my eyes. I almost fell asleep!

“Stars, you say…?” I manage to say while cleaning the almost dripping drool. “Yeah, I’ve heard about it…” I was so focused on my beaten body that I forgot it.

“They’re so beautiful! They remind me of when I was a kid and spent the summer holidays at my grandfather’s. He lived in a remote village. This sure brings back memories…”

“Hmm. I didn’t know you liked the stars so much.”

“Yes…” She pauses. I’m sure she’s recalling her past. “I also know a lot about their names and origins. For example, those ones…”

As I listen, she starts explaining everything she knows, until we fall asleep. Somewhere in the middle, she tries to grab my hand. I’m too tired to resist, so I allow her to do as she pleases.

Maybe. Maybe, this excursion wasn’t that bad, after all.

Only maybe.

 

---

 

“A-achoo! Ugh, shit… I hate this…” I throw the tissue into the closest bin before continuing my arduous journey to the university. “All my body is sore and I got a cold on top of it…”

Laura and I fell asleep outside the tent. We were stupid and as the temperature plummeted our bodies got too cold.

Now my nose is raging, and my whole body hurts.

Not only this. There’s also the muscle soreness from all that exercise I’m not used to… And today, Monday, I had to wake up early because we had classes…

“I didn’t think this through... I regret it so much… A, a-achooo!”

Fuck this. The excursion was indeed bad, after all.

 

After that trip, Ricard earned a few new nicknames. He didn’t enjoy them at all, though.