WinterFairy

This might come as a bit abrupt, but I have decided to 'end' my sharing of the first draft here. Why? Because there are already many things I'd like to rewrite in the story as it is. I know that most of you who read the draft will probably take it as it is. As the final cut of the story. Because of this, I feel bad for changing up elements mid-way, and it's hard to go back and rewrite scenes without leaving people confused.

Don't get me wrong. It has been a great experience to share my story, and I have learned a lot! But I want the freedom to change it as it is. Or just scrap it, if I can't make it work. There are many stories to read out there, but in case you were wondering how I had planned for this one to end. You can read about it below. Also, please consider leaving me some feedback on the things you liked or disliked about the story till now. Thanks and sorry for the inconvenience. (ノ^∇^)

SPOILER:

After the incident involving the Silver fortress, Caspian becomes a miserable peasant before dying from his severe stomach wound (The one that he got melted into his body by Julian). Seeing his friend and replacement for god end like this, Charkel thirsts for revenge. To have his revenge, he starts a campaign of even harsher strictness against bonded females. In hopes of making the campaign strike his real enemy. Charkel takes over the position of lord as it is written in Caspian’s will. William feels the need to rectify this growing violence, but doesn't know how to yet...

The team finally reaches south and down there they stumble upon two events. Julian and the water ruins. I don't know in which order yet.

Julian the protagonist is down south because he cannot build and expand his base right under the Fake King’s nose. So he wanders further south to another culture. There he makes an arrangement with some of its most promising merchants that have been shunned by the Fake King. Julian promises them that if they lend him enough manpower to build a defense line and a castle, he will, in turn, make them a speedway/silk-road that will be guarded by his lover’s family. They will not only build and maintain the peace and stability of the road but also give those merchants, who helped, a favorable discount when they traverse and lodge at their castle.

The only reason why this agreement can take place is that the merchants believe in Julian’s strength. That no one can topple him and that he will be able to defend them against the siege and angry comeback of the fake king’s army. However, things don’t go as planned because out of the blue, Thalgar and Mirabelle/William appear. Thalgar being the strong person he is, makes the merchant doubt the deal, especially when they witness that there is tension between him and the protagonist. In the original story, Thalgar never appeared among humans as they found him repulsive and scary. But after his transformation and calmer demeanor, he finds he actually enjoys witnessing the advancements of humankind.

The merchants were shunned by the FK because they wanted terms met and they wouldn’t bow to him. They are not weak tradesmen but warriors with an appetite for gold. In their culture, only those with power and authority may wield the power of a dinosaur. Women, however, are the exception.

As for the underwater ruin? It is the place where William accepts that he is Mirabelle.

Somehow William and Julian come across each other in the once holy place. The first thing William notices is that Julian is not nearly as strong as described in the novel and he is lacking a dinosaur or two on his team. This phenomenon is caused by Julian's lack of knowledge, that someone out there could easily beat him lifeless: Namely Thalgar. The protagonist had unintentionally become a big fish in a small pond. Seeing this alarming state of Julian, William decides to further stall his visit to Halbal. Because he wants there to be 'peace'. He wants Julian to unite the land as king. Especially after he has witnessed the cruelty of the FK and the harshness of a lawless country.

Julian is down in the ruins because he and his team are on a hunt for spirit energy stones. (The things mentioned by Joss for being something that started a feud between the Blaises and Talcans). This is all according to the original book. Which makes William feel even worse for coming down there to hunt the same prey. The stones act as funding/currency for the upcoming war against the FK. I also had thoughts of them being used as fuel for primitive weapons or shields?

The ruins are the place that humanity spawned from, but also the place the current religion was birthed. And legend told that Solvi was born there. However, something went awry in the translation, from holy carvings to books. This flaw, William discovers when he comes upon some crumbling carvings, depicting both genders being bonded to dinosaurs. This moment is important as he uses the old carvings to sway people to change the old religion...

Oh, and we also get this little scene:
They head down into the ruin and find pockets that seem to be missing something. William notes, “How strange… It looks like eggs were planted in the wall, then hatched…”. Thalgar investigates the veins and finds a spirit energy stone? He explains, “Spirit stones… There must have been quite a few but-”. William quirked an eyebrow, “How do you know this? Have you seen them before?”. Thalgar nodded once, “Although they are uncommon, I once found a huge vein filled with them. Somewhere near blabla, I believe”. William was impressed but then it dawned on him, “Holy!!! It was you who raided the spirit stone mine, right under the Talcans and Blaises noses!?”. Thalgar crossed his arms confused, “Who?”...........................

Both teams wander about at first until they meet the dreadful monster. The creature that ended the first humans and absorbed them only so that it could rest like a fat dragon in a mountain filled with gold. The beast is a challenge to defeat, and the fight ends with only one standing: William. He is hit by a dilemma at this point because he wants Julian to have the energy and fulfill his destiny. For hesitating, he gets scolded severely by Thalgar.

William had always been afraid to alter the story and to make a presence, since he was from the start, given such a meager role to play. He wasn't born powerful, skillful nor important. He wasn't even born a man. But that didn't mean that he was useless. And that was what he learned. He learned that he had the right to change things. He had the right to be there. And now, with his own merit, he had the power to finally make a presence in the world and a reason for it as well. He wanted to change the religion that harmed half of the population. To make bonding accessible for both men and women. And to make better positions for dinosaurs in a new society. For Lucifer's sake.

William wants to change the religion rather than completely remove it as people need faith to survive. Although William didn't believe in Solvi as his savior, he had unintentionally turned the original book: The First King, into his personal religion. He had respected the original plot as if it was a holy script and more than once, put his faith and hope in the book's narrative... Religion gives hope. Its sole evil lies in those who dare wield it as a weapon.

William accepts his role in the story. He picks up the mantle and becomes Mirabelle.

Because Mirabelle and Thalgar helped Julian and his team stay alive against the monster, they are invited to their camp. There, a bit of drama ensues. Julian's lover is pregnant with their child, to the dismay of Julian's loyal knight: Dain.

Dain and J's lover are actually the real pairing. They couldn't be together because of JL's father, who wouldn't allow for a former slave to marry his wealthy and important daughter. Thus JL and Dain made an elaborate plan to both get the ultimate power and love. However, this love was not all trusting. Once the child was born, Dain couldn't take it anymore. He told JL to choose either between him or it. If she couldn't get rid of the child, he would leave her. JL becomes distraught. She doesn't hate Julian or the baby, but in the end, she wants Dain to be king and him to be her husband. So she gets rid of their child in a useful way... Something that made William/Mirabelle hate the ending of the original book.

Because of how the world was. An industry emerged: The dino-feed/meat market. Which was actually a pretty dark place where unwanted humans would be sold for a few pennies, only to be ground up into dinosaur food. Food determined how many dinosaurs you could keep. And especially in times of war, the industry was needed to keep the armies moving.

Julian would need control over such a place to win the war, but he was stubborn. He despised it above all else. For as a child he often had nightmares of being repurposed there. Like hell, would he want assistance or own that kind of establishment. His lover knew well of this. So she decided to give him a proper reason to attack and conquer the market. It happened one time when Julian was busy taking over another territory. His lover called for the meat market's services. A wagon came. And it left with their young daughter, never to be seen again.

A little clip from the scene:
Through the turmoil of a dark storm, a little girl asked: “Mother where are we going?”. JL dragged her daughter onto a stranger's wagon. The man that owned the wagon was about to give her a measly pouch of money, but she haughtily refused it. Instead, she quickly left the place with the cold words: “She’s all yours”. The blistering wind tore at her clothes with every step she took. A small shriek escaped from the wagon but that was also it. JL knew perfectly well what she had done… That little forbidden love she had left on the wagon was going to be turned into red fodder for dinosaurs... The moment Julian came back, he was met by his sad lover, who used her genuine emotions of sorrow and despair to rally him into a fit. She screamed at him, “They took her! The men from that market in Urthyl stole her away!... Quickly! You must go safe her, even if it means tearing down that awful place!”. Julian believed her every word. Not doubting her for a second that she had done only what the poorest and desperate people would do: Sell their children.

This is all something that would have happened if Mirabelle didn't step in...

She also knew of the market's importance and that this stunt might be the only sure-fire way to move Julian forward on his path as future king. Besides the importance of the victory, Mirabelle doubted that their daughter would be safe in the lover's hands. And since Mirabelle wouldn't be able to convince Julian of the treachery, she does what she can and takes the child from the wagon once it's out of sight. To someday return her to Julian, when things are safe again.

Other than safe-keeping his daughter, Mirabelle also decides to help Julian, by weakening the FK's military power. She knows that a big chunk of the FK's forces are kept loyal by poison. A poison that can be cured with the help of the Rubspit's owner. So she travels up north again with the team. There they meet the maker. And it's Joss.

Yes, Joss survived the river...

There will often form caves behind waterfalls. He got pushed by the water up into one, with the help of Vash, and there he was nursed back to health by its' many licks. From this experience, Joss learned that their saliva had the property of healing. Together they got back to the island but found that the little sister hadn't returned. Believing that Mirabelle was dead, Joss became heart-broken and so he sought to fulfill his revenge against the Ravaging Shades. He infiltrated their ranks and with the help of the Blaises and Talcans, he pulverized them. Those who became his friends and proved useful were spared and used to help create his new empire. Build on the sales he got from his wonderdrug.

The two siblings reunite in bliss... During the time they were apart, Joss did some thinking. And so, he not only helps free the people bound to the FK, but he also helps Mirabelle establish the new variation of their religion. Mirabelle also receives help from Brice, who is easily convinced by his strong superstition, and the Talcan's heir, who got to know the truth about his old training partner: William.

Harvick, however, was not to be swayed. At least not easily.

After Mirabelle's 'death', he lost his strength to keep moving on. At Halbal, Harvick wasn't just battling a knight commander anymore, but that bastard's whole family... At first, he killed the father, thinking his troubles would end there, but then his sons and daughters came for revenge. Cousins and greedy friends, they all came to avenge the commander's death. But, Harvick's headache didn't end there. Rebels, belonging to the former lord of the castle, still remained and took any chance they could get at taking it back. He was at the end of his rope. So he made a deal with an inquisitor office. That they could nest at his place if they, in turn, burned all of his enemies as heretics. The old religion had become his safety and master. And so it was a task for Mirabelle to try and take it away from him.

Mirabelle became very strong after absorbing the energy from the ruin monster. She found followers in her old friends and they each became her knights after/during the war between FK and Julian. Lucifer also gets bestowed the title of Knight.

After the war, Mirabelle prevents Julian's death.

Julian's original death:
Julian was lulled by his lover to show her where he kept his dinosaurs. It was in a dead volcano some kilometers away from their home-base. When she finds out this information, she hires a hitman. Someone who has the ability to make creatures go insane, or more specifically: Bonded dinosaurs. This hitman has beef with the protagonist. So they willingly sacrifice themselves to see Julian die, by having his five dinosaurs rip him, and afterward, each other apart in a bloody massacre. Their deaths were brutal and ugly. Everything went as planned on JL and Dain's part. No one found out about the murder of Julian, since they after the crime, claimed the site as unholy grounds... The couple killed anyone who should object to their rule and proclaimed that the king had set sail to conquer lands in places the eye couldn’t see. In Julian's absence, Dain would be his substitute... At first, people were confused and it took them some time, but eventually Julian passed on as another legend. A tool of fear, wielded by those who had betrayed him. Who used the words; “If you don’t behave, the first king will return and punish you!”. And that’s how the first true king came to be… And how he became undone…

With help from Mirabelle, Julian finally sees his friend and lover for who they really were. They are exiled or something? I don't know yet.

Ever since Julian's daughter 'died', he was never the same. He kept pushing forward. Taking down his father as he had been told was the thing he wanted all along when in reality he just wanted to be happy and at peace with his family. Leading up to the coronation of Julian as the first king, the poor soul was depressed. He didn't desire the title at all...

During a party, just a week before his ascension, Mirabelle took him out of the crowd and toward a deserted area. What awaited Julian behind some soft curtains, was a gentle child, who had missed him just as much as he had missed her...

Mirabelle tells Julian the truth. That she took the girl in fear that his former allies would do her harm. Julian understands that he wasn't ready at the time to accept their betrayal. He takes the girl and humble asks to serve Mirabelle as a knight, along with all the others. He has seen their potential and will only be at ease if they take his place. Thalgar and Mirabelle accept this responsibility together. And they become the first official king and queen of the land...

WinterFairy

That was my idea of how I wanted the story to go. Should I finish writing the story? Or would I be better off starting something new? You're more than welcome to share your thoughts on the matter. Either way, it was some good practice, haha. (*^▽^*)