"This has to be some kind of joke," I said as I shifted nervously in the cheap plastic chair.

The very attractive brunette seated across from me smirked, "It certainly made me laugh."

I frowned, "That's not exactly reassuring."

She suppressed another giggle, but she wasn't even looking at me. Her attention was on the thick file folder she had laying atop the big wooden desk which sat between us. She'd been looking through the file for the past five minutes, and that smirk had been on her lips the whole time. She wasn't shy about the giggles and laughter either.

"Seriously," I stated, "This is bullshit. Where am I, how'd I get here?"

The last thing I remembered was trying to get to work. Not that flipping burgers was a fulfilling career but if I was late once more I'd get fired and I needed the paycheque to cover rent. Unfortunately I'd made the mistake of staying up late last night binge-reading another gender-bender isekai web novel. And that meant I slept through my alarm this morning.

Hence the mad dash to get from my basement apartment to the bus stop on time.

Otherwise it'd be fifteen minutes before the next bus came, then I'd miss the connecting bus and I wouldn't get to work till ten minutes after my shift started.

I glanced nervously around the small office once more, hoping maybe I'd overlooked something the first time I checked. It looked the same as before though. Four walls painted that industrial off-white colour that's somewhere between light grey and beige. Drop-tile ceiling, complete with mysterious brown stains and a buzzing florescent light fixture. Generic demotivational posters on the walls. Dusty artificial plant in the corner. And a sagging threadbare couch against one wall.

What was missing, what had me anxious, was the complete lack of any kind of door. There was no way in, no way out. Which left me wondering how I got there.

The only other furniture was the cheap grey plastic chair I was sitting on, the big wood desk in front of me, and the large luxurious-looking leather manager's chair behind that. Which was currently occupied by a smoking hot brunette. She was dressed in a bright cherry-red dress, which matched the cherry-red lipstick on her full, pouting lips.

Well, her lips looked like they could pull off an amazing pout. For now they were still locked in that amused smirk.

I took a deep breath, then tried to hide my nervousness as I asked "This is for real, huh? I'm really dead?"

"You really are," she replied, in a voice that was full of mock sadness.

"How?" I frowned. "I don't remember dying. Did I get hit by the bus or something?"

The mystery hottie looked like she was trying to hold back more laughter as she shook her head, "It was truck-kun."

"Bullshit," I stated. "That doesn't happen outside of stories."

She pulled open one of the drawers of her desk and took something from it, then placed it in front of me. I found myself looking at a toy truck. It was red with blue accents and lots of chrome. And I recognized it, along with the very distinctive logo on the side.

"Ok now I know you're just messing with me," I stated. "I couldn't have been killed by Optimus Prime because he's not real."

The woman suppressed another giggle as she shook her head, "You weren't killed by an anthropomorphic alien robot truck. You were killed by this exact toy. Your landlord's son left it at the top of the basement stairs. You didn't see it in your haste, stepped on it as you ran up the stairs, and back down the stairs you went."

She put on a fake sad expression as she added, "Falling backwards down a flight of cement stairs wasn't pretty, but at least it was fairly quick. Probably going to lose your security deposit though, what with the clean-up costs. Then again, it's a cement stairwell so maybe they can just hose it down."

For another couple seconds I just stared at her, and the toy truck. Then I slowly slumped back in the cheap plastic chair and let out a deep sigh.

The landlord's kid was seven or eight and he was always leaving his toys everywhere. I'd lost count of how many times I'd nearly broken a toe or twisted an ankle tripping over the damn things. His folks usually apologized and made a fuss about tidying things up after the fact, but they never actually lifted a finger to get him to stop doing it. And they'd always rush to replace anything that got broken because he left it out and it got stepped on.

Finding out that's what killed me left me stunned, and a little ticked off. Mostly though I was embarrassed. Like depending on how you looked at it, I was either killed by a cheap plastic Transformer toy, or I was killed by an eight year old kid.

I couldn't help thinking it was an incredibly ignominious end for a short, boring, pointless life.

"All right," the woman announced as she finally finished looking through the big file. "So it looks like your life was incredibly useless and you achieved nothing of value. No great deeds, no noteworthy acts. You weren't especially good, but you weren't particularly evil either. On the other hand, your death was incredibly funny and I'll probably be laughing about it for the next week or two, so I'm prepared to cut you some slack."

I glared at her for a few seconds, then sighed "How so? I mean, um... What happens now?"

"My job is to send you on to what comes next," she replied. "You know, afterlife stuff. Reincarnation, that kind of thing."

My heart skipped a beat and I felt some nervous butterflies in my stomach. I'd read more than enough web novels about this sort of thing, and my eyes flicked to the toy truck then back to the hot brunette. "So um, I was killed by truck-kun and now I'm going to get isekaied?"

The smirk was back on her lips but she nodded, "You know what, yeah. Like I said, your death was hilarious and I'll be enjoying that for a while. So hit me up. What's your wish list? I can't promise you'll get everything you ask for, but lay it on me and I'll see what I can do."

Now it was my turn to try and hold back the grins and laughter. She was right, my life was bland and boring and pointless. Now I had a chance to actually do something fun and exciting.

"Ok so I want to be sent to a fantasy world," I stated. My mind was racing and I just sort of talked as I thought of some of my favourite themes and tropes. "Swords and magic, that sort of thing. Fantasy races too, like not just boring humans. So like, elves, dwarves, and definitely beastkin. Gotta have catgirls, foxgirls, monster girls of all kinds really."

"And I want to be powerful," I smiled. "Like I want to be skilled with both sword and spells. Not like, so overpowered there's no challenge, but I don't want to die right out the gate, you know? Oh, that's another thing. I don't want to start off as a baby, that's boring as fuck. No second childhood either, same reason, boring. So I don't know, like transmigrate me into a body that's already old enough to adventure and stuff?"

I thought a few more seconds then continued, "Speaking of, obviously I want to be young and healthy. Like I don't know, eighteen? Like old enough to be an adult, but young enough to have a long full life ahead of me. And I don't need to be like crazy rich, but having money would be good, like I don't want to be begging on the street corners. Or mugging people or whatever."

By that point I was on a roll, "A harem is a must. Give me a couple girlfriends to start with, so I'm not alone right off the bat? But yeah, I want multiple girlfriends, all sexy or cute or attractive in their own ways. And obviously with their own skills and powers and stuff too. Like I'm not sexist, I don't want them all cowering on the sidelines while I do all the fighting and stuff."

"Is that all?" the brunette asked. There was more than a hint of sarcasm in her voice and she had one eyebrow arched slightly as she looked at me. "How do you plan on attracting these 'girlfriends'? Maybe you'd like some special skill that lets you control them? Or force them to do your bidding? Or maybe some generic mind-control or hypnosis powers?"

"Nah," I frowned. "I don't want them to be like dolls or puppets, that's boring. They need to keep their personality and skills and abilities and stuff. And like, I don't want them to be doting on me nonstop. Actually they should be friends with each other too right? Or more than friends? I don't know if there's a word for that? But like instead of a traditional harem where the girls are all just into the guy and ignoring each other, have something where they're all into each other just as much? Like everyone's into everyone else?"

"I believe what you're thinking of is called a polycule," the woman said, but I wasn't paying attention.

My mind was already off on another tangent, "Whatever skill or ability I have to add them to our group should have some extra benefits too? Like maybe we all automatically know where each other are, or it could let us all communicate telepathically or something?"

Another idea hit and I added, "Oh and maybe we could like, share skills with each other or something? Maybe something fun too, like I don't know, they get turned on when they hear my name? Or when I say their name? Or some other kind of magic that I can use to get them all hot and bothered..."

I finally stopped when I noticed the look the woman was giving me. I felt a blush creeping across my cheeks and I cringed into my plastic seat, "Sorry. I uh, got carried away there."

"Uh-huh," she looked like she was trying not to eye-roll at me. "So it's a basic harem-building isekai power fantasy that covers a few of the most common tropes. You've missed a couple obvious ones though? I think you need to include some gender bending, and girl's love is a must."

"I don't know," I shrugged as I did my absolute best to keep a straight face. Maybe if she had access to my browser history I'd be a lot more nervous, but luckily that was impossible. I was careful to use safe mode when I read stuff in that particular genre. "I get those are popular with uh, some people but uh, that sort of thing isn't really for me..."

After a pause I added, "We could still fit it in though I guess? Like I was saying earlier, the girls in my group should all be girlfriends with each other as well, not just with me. So that's the girl's love thing covered."

I smiled as I got another brilliant idea, "Oh! What if the gender bending is like one of my special abilities or something? Like say I defeat a guy in single combat, maybe I have a special power that lets me GB him into a cute girl, then she can join all the other cute girls in the group?"

The sexy brunette stared at me for a few seconds, then this time she did the eye-roll. And apparently she decided to completely ignore that last request. Which was probably for the best, it was definitely way out there.

"All right," she stated. "So that's your wish list. Frankly it's more involved than I was expecting, and some of the details are more than a little cringe. I'm not going to be able to give you everything you asked for, but I think I can get you pretty close."

My heart started racing again and I felt a smile tickling at the corners of my lips. I knew I'd gone overboard with all my requests, and I really hadn't expected her to give me any of that stuff. The idea that she might actually grant me some of my wishes had me eager to dive into my new life.

"How close?" I asked, as I tried to keep my excitement in check.

The hot brunette looked thoughtful for a few moments, then she smiled at me. "About arm's length away. That's pretty close."

"Yeah!" I grinned.

I figured even if I didn't get every little detail I asked for, just being a powerful spell-sword with money and good health and stuff was more than half-way there. It shouldn't be that hard for me to get some girlfriends on my own, if the rest of my new life was as good as I hoped.

"So when do we start?" I asked. "And um, actually what's your name? Will I ever see you again?"

Then like an idiot I flashed her a wide smile and tried to joke, "And what are the odds I can convince you to join my team?"

Fortunately she didn't look offended. She just rolled her eyes again then replied, "My name is Natasha, and I can guarantee we'll see each other again at some point in the near future. Until then, I expect this is going to be at least as much fun to watch as your death."

"Wait what?" I asked as my smile faded.

A split second later everything else faded too when I blacked out.

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