A tentative voice sounded outside the door. My eyelashes trembled, and finding it troublesome, I kept my eyes shut.  

They called again, just as cautiously, “Mister Fang…are you awake?”

Without waiting for a reply, the door began to open. Shen Jiu stepped in with a concerned look on his brow, approaching the bedside quietly.  

“…what is it?” I asked. My back felt raw and swollen.

Shen Jiu apologized softly when he saw me with eyes half opened. He held a bowl of soft porridge.

“…I wanted to see how you’re doing…I thought you could have developed a fever, s-so I…”

I blinked slowly. He tried to get me to eat the porridge, but I had no confidence to hold anything down. I shook my head and refused until he set it aside. Then he stood there a long while, contemplating with a face that looked like he had a knot in his heart. In the end he asked with a straightforward gaze,

“…please tell me, why did you frame me? Why did you anger officer Li? Just what…”

I smiled earnestly. “Don’t blame only me…Steward Tang had those servants lend a hand, and they even neglected to inform Li Jishen that the general had arrived. Besides, didn’t Li Jishen always mistreat you? It’s only because he is drunk with himself¹Idiom that just means to be overly confident/impressed in oneself that he thought you were at fault for something.”

“That’s…” Shen Jiu had a mixed expression on his face, as though he couldn’t quite believe it. “But what if General Zhou didn’t arrive?”

“If he arrived later in the day, the results would be near the same. I’d get twelve more strikes, that’s all.”

Shen Jiu grimaced. “That’s not good! And, Officer Li wasn’t bullying me…”

I had been lying on my stomach, so to talk properly I put a hand under myself to sit up. I didn’t expect a jarring pain. It felt like the cuts on my back were splitting open. 

“Please lie back down!”

I just said, “I’m wrong? That time you showed me Snow White, Li Jishen acted like he was used to beating you. Moreover, if it was just a regular guard, you aren’t so weak to let them have their way. But in this case, even if you informed General Zhou, Li Jishen’s standing is a little higher, it would be a brief matter of punishing him.”

Shen Jiu fidgeted, transparent as a thin gauze veil, but in his next words, some anger was summoned up in him, “S-since you get along with General Zhou, why didn’t you just explain to him? You didn’t have to…didn’t have to go this far!”

“The General and I get along?” I couldn’t hold back a laugh. “He’s the eastern division’s general, so he can’t trust whatever I say and act on it. Even if he did, I won’t go ask him.”

Shen Jiu kneaded his hands. He grumbled, “I…I thought you and General Zhou were friends. But…please don’t do anything like this again.” 

Who knows what I wouldn’t do in the future, even I don’t know. I can function on impulsiveness alone—and it feels pretty good. It is a matter of fact, however, that no two schemes could be identical.

“Of course I won’t. At least your situation should be a little better this way. Li Jishen falsely accused you and he punished me in a fit of rage, I don’t see how he’d keep his job.”

“…” Shen Jiu put his eyes on the floor, then squeezed out the words, “The truth is…I’ve wronged Officer Li in the past.”

Shen Jiu’s has too little self-confidence. If what he did was really that bad, but there was no refusing a story.

“When I first started working here, Officer Li’s horse was one of the ones I was in charge of. It was a middle-aged mare and had been Officer Li’s since he was five and ten years, apparently. It got sick during the winter, so I was giving some supplements, but I mixed it up. I gave too strong of a dose, and his horse went stomach-up…”

The rims of his eyes were turning red and wet.

“It’s really all my fault.”

His sad expression was somehow adorable and clumsy, I wanted to lick at the tears. Huh, it’s been months since I last had intercourse.  Hmm...

“Nonsense. There’s no need to feel bad about something I decided to do all on my own, and Li Jishen’s also an idiot to hold a grudge over an honest mistake. But…if you’re truly so bothered, you can just grant me a small favor or something.”

“Of course!” he said, standing up. “What favor?”

“You know…I don't really want to stay here. I mean, in the general's mansion.”

Shen Jiu’s expression turned more serious, he wiped at his eyes and gave a nod.

I shrugged and continued, “There probably aren’t many guards posted now, instead they’re getting questioned. Help me get a disguise and a horse so I can leave here?”

His jaw dropped open. Stuttering a few times, Shen Jiu didn’t end up getting any response out. I scrunched my brow wondering what his problem was. It was as though I asked him to help me usurp the throne or something utterly unreasonable. Wasn’t he so eager just a moment ago?

“The general is only forcing me to be here because he wants to try and make me work for him. He is persistent about it, but I don’t want to…I have other places to go and things I want to do. And…he even has an interest in me! I don’t understand it, but the more I refuse the more he insists²Yes FS is just bullshitting again..”

Shen Jiu’s face was indescribably horrified.

I finished, “The general won’t punish you too harshly, so you can tell him I deceived you-”

“I can’t help you, I can’t!” he shouted. “I’m s-sorry!”

“…huh?” I was dumbfounded, my eardrums throbbing from his shout. I should have expected as much and rolled my eyes. “If you’re too scared, never mind…okay, don’t worry about it.”  

Now he gave me a strange, complicated look. “Mister Fang…you have been resting here for a day. Master Zhou knew we talked a lot recently and took the time to explain why you cannot be allowed to leave…so, s-sorry. I don’t want to help you with that.”

Oh, so that was why. 

“Damn General.” I went ahead and cursed Zhou Liang a few more times. 

Shen Jiu gave me a sympathetic glance, muttering, “I also would like to s…s-ay, Master Zhou is not the sort of person who would do something without consent. Uh…I mean to say that he definitely won’t force you. It must be Mister Fang’s misunderstanding!”

My anger soared. 

Shen Jiu began to ask, “Do you…want to talk about-”

“Since my words are good as dog scraps, go ask your Master instead!”

Shen Jiu realized that I did not want to talk about it.

I sighed, then got angry again…all so pointless.

I had talked with many servants here as well, but sounding out the situation, everyone at this damned place is too loyal towards Zhou Liang. It will take a long time before I can get anyone on my side. I got up and began to pace.

“Your wounds will reopen…” said Shen Jiu, he helplessly went to support under my arm. “I can’t help with the first thing but if you have s-something else. If it’s within my abilities, I’ll definitely do it.”

Bored, frustrated, and pained from my back, I nearly wanted to shake him off. Then again, I recalled that he is young and a male and suddenly had an inappropriate idea. If Shen Jiu agreed, I’d be happy. If he didn’t agree, oh well. 

First, I went back to the bedside and sat down.

I said, “Maybe there’s something else.”

“Yes?”

The two of us were already close together. I motioned with my finger for him to lean even closer and he leaned down at the bedside. Our noses were almost touching. 

I lifted his chin up with one hand and kissed him.

“Mn…!”

Shen Jiu at first put his hand on my chest as though to shove me away, but in the end held back, probably concerned he’d worsen my injury. I don’t know what he was thinking exactly, but a mix of confusion and hesitance passed over him, making his thick lips easy to pry open. My tongue went inside, slowly licking along the roof of his mouth.

I was very practiced. Many people had said I was good at both giving it and taking it. 

There was a soft sound between us, Shen Jiu trembled slightly. I pulled away, licking up that spilled over strand between us.

Then I chuckled bitterly. “Did the general also tell you I like men?”

Shen Jiu shook his head fiercely without a word. 

I gently patted his shoulder. “It seems that you adore your horses the most. Even marriage is difficult, because then you’d have to devote your time away from them. But what do you think of me?”

“I…” 

I continued, “Say, want to do more with me? I won’t force you if you hate it, but it will feel good…what if we just help each other out once?”

Shen Jiu thought about it a while, his face red. It was already a good sign for me that he didn't punch me in the face!

He sucked in a breath, "I-if Mister Fang is all right with me...we could try it."

Then he squeezed his eyes shut, waiting.

Well perfect. I slowly reached my hand down his chest, creeping towards a place between Shen Jiu’s legs. Rubbing slowly, I couldn’t help but be surprised.

“Already hard?”

He clenched his lips shut, trembling with embarrassment. I just chuckled, then slid down onto his lap from the bed, my back leaned against bedside. I couldn’t do any vigorous activity with my injury like this right now.

I whispered, “Don’t move, or else I’ll get rammed into the bedside.”

He nodded sheepishly. My hand was patiently removing his clothes, the outer robe, sliding it down his shoulders, and peeling away the lapel so that his chest was exposed. I could practically hear how fast his heart was beating, it urged me glide my hand from his heart, over the pectoral and stomach.

Compact and firm. I kept rubbing, Shen Jiu making small gasps.

I swallowed in anticipation as my lower body began to react. Heat radiated through our trousers.

Half hard, I slowly began to grind against him.

Shen Jiu let out a quiet groan with a glazed look. He whispered, “Careful of your injury…”

The door opened with a bang. Zhou Liang stormed over and peeled us apart by shoving a boot against Shen Jiu’s chest. 

“What are you doing?!”

Shen Jiu paled immensely, and as reality caught up his posture shriveled like a raisin. He hunched over, trying to hide his erection, and hastened to put his robes back on. He fumbled at tying his sash once, twice…repeatedly.

My clothes were already back on without a single wrinkle.

“Nothing, now that you’ve arrived,” I replied in short. “Do you have a problem?”

Zhou Liang folded his arms, “I do.”

He tossed me back on the bed stomach-down.

…I was admittedly pissed. If one enters into a scene of two people neck to neck on top of each other, panting and staring into each other’s eyes, what do you think they’re doing?! Zhou Liang was probably only trying to anger me³Technically, last chapter ZL promised to visit FS later once he was done with work....

At long last Shen Jiu finished putting his clothes back on. He kept to the floor, shuddering like a leaf with his head bowed. He reminded me of a rabbit—when they try and hide by blending into their surroundings, believing that as long as they stay curled up, motionless, nothing will see them.

“Shen Jiu,” Zhou Liang was merciless even towards rabbits, “I expected more from you.”

Shen Jiu’s kowtowed to Zhou Liang. “About Mister Fang, I-”

“Fang Shuren already led you around by the nose. Isn’t it enough?!”

With a red face, Shen Jiu continued to kowtow without answering. Huh, I expected he’d apologize. That was usually Shen Jiu’s default response, not hearing it made me feel uneasy.

Zhou Liang curtly gestured to the door with his chin.  

“Go on.”

“Yes…” Shen Jiu mumbled. Stumbling, he half tripped over the door frame, although he managed to close it shut without another sound.

“Physician Chen prescribed medicine,” said Zhou Liang, “but you put it to waste, moving about! Are you confident you won’t get sick?”

“We were just playing—I can’t get sick from it. You have to prevent this, too?”

Flat on my stomach, I crawled upright with some difficulty. Sitting while another person stood and spoke down to you was a clear loss in power dynamics. Any good conversation comes with higher ground.

Zhou Liang scoffed. “You have the ability to get sick from anything. And 'playing'? Really? Do you know for certain what thoughts Shen Jiu holds?”

“I…” I thought about it.

It seems that Shen Jiu…probably…was genuinely interested in me. He was a serious person, he wouldn't get involved with me on a whim. 

I chuckled aloud a few times. I only had intentions for a tryst. I just couldn’t help but take advantage of him because I knew it was possible, because I was so used to casual affairs like any city aristocrat. My current existence is selfish, hinged upon hedonistic ways, I know…

Upon hearing my laughter, Zhou Liang was angrier.

“Now that Shen Jiu found a person to call a friend, afford him some respect!”

I narrowed my eyes. “Maybe we don’t want to be friends.”

“You’re toying with him.”

“Yeah, the inexperienced ones are fun. But you know, it's not like I'd be overly cruel to him. Afterwards, he can be more experienced in his future decisions and not trust others too easily.”

Zhou Liang took in a deep breath. “You need to stop.”

I stood, facing him with a sneer. Zhou Liang is taller than me by a head, but height isn’t everything.

“I’m already alive, what else do you want from me? Don’t expect that I’ll listen to everything you say like a dog. If you can't stand it, then have the guards throw me out the gates. I will be gone from sight before a stick of incense has burned, and your residence will again be peaceful and quiet as a cicada in winter.”

Zhou Liang looked tired.

“…I won't do that,” he said, his expression softening.

He opened the door a crack, stuck an arm through, and was handed a fur pelt and plate. The plate had six egg dumplings arranged all in a row, my absolute favorite of Auntie Wang’s. Zhou Liang came over and put the fur quilt on my bed. It was soft with short hair strands, probably made of sable or mink fur.

I scowled. Why wasn't he leaving yet? Wasn't he fed up with me?

“Are you hungry?” he asked.

“No. You can leave now.”

Far from leaving, he came closer. My temper hung by a strand of sanity, one that could be broken if Zhou Liang so much as said a single word wrong. He took the chopsticks, neatly cut off a square-shaped bite and held it in front of my mouth with a malicious smile. I could only pretend as if I were not the person he intended to feed and incline my head away.

“When you were sick…” I knew nothing good was coming, “…you were very good at eating. I’d take the food to your mouth, and with a small coax, you’d eat it up. It was sort of endearing, like I was nursing an animal back to health.”

I wanted to strangle him. “I don’t remember that!”

He cocked a brow. “Who else did you think would do it when we hadn't met up with my guards and servants for another few days?”

I was hallucinating at the time, but I thought it was…my jiejie⁴FS's older sister. Why is it her? It felt painful when I thought of it. It’s no wonder I get annoyed by Zhou Liang, when every time I see him, he drags up matters and makes me think about her all over again.

Zhou Liang started again, “So when you were sick…”

I snatched the plate. "Fine, I will eat. Just stop this nonsense!"

The egg dumplings were as good as always, but only issue was that Zhou Liang was leaning against the wall, watching me eat, and wouldn’t get out of the room. It meant I couldn’t quite settle my anger.

I had to find a way to drive him out of my room. “It’s out of pride, right?”

“What?”

“You don’t want to feel like your views on the world are wrong, so how could you possibly let me be? Or, did you think you could redeem your bloodstained hands by helping others?”

Zhou Liang stiffened.

Heh, so he really did have a sore spot there. He’s a general who has murdered, slaughtered, and tortured. I find it a wonder that he feels guilt for anything at all.

“You won’t,” I said. “If you misplace your trust in me, I really can go poison the water and make you regret your decision. Make you understand that even a great General can be wrong.”

The room went silent, Zhou Liang staring at me with a furrowed brow. I only upturned the corners of my lips with viciousness.

“You know how to twist intentions around,” he said. ““Maybe there are times I’m wrong…but this is not one of them. As far as I can see, you don’t want to die too strongly. A person who does finds a way without regard for the people around them. So I believe that you-”

I threw my ceramic pillow at him.

With a grunt of surprise and an angry smile, he caught it before it could crash into his head. 

“…can you be less hostile?” He placed the pillow on the table behind him, not intending to give it back.

There was a reason I idled so many months before climbing Plum Blossom Mountain. That day, my heart was as firm as the rock below my feet. Now I was no longer there. As the seas turn to mulberry, what was underfoot changed, and my heart wavered.

Now I was back to being stuck in a indeterminate state. I put hand over my face. 

Zhou Liang said, “I didn’t come here to argue about this.”

“You should leave.”

“…we can talk about something else?”

“Get out!”

Frowning, he lowered his gaze in consideration, then turned on his heels and left.

…what is wrong with him? Such a good-natured hypocrite.

Amarathia

So I know that FS playing around with Shen Jiu's feelings is scummy, but that's the kind of the character I'm writing? I mean, he has to do something to distract himself from his depression. Although he would never sleep with someone against their will, he would kiss someone out of nowhere. I personally know that consent is important, but FS isn't the type that will ask. He used to be a major playboy (mentioned in earlier chapters). 

Lul. Just wanted to add a disclaimer in case anyone was bothered or confused by that.