underFlorence

Sorry for the delay! I had a bunch of stuff to do and started a few new ideas in the meantime. Oops! That said, I wanna focus on this for the time being.

Phoebe

Walking down to the kitchen to see Kara, I kept thinking about my new clothes. While the hospital gowns I used to wear had always felt incredibly loose on my body, these new clothes that Kara had picked out for me were a lot tighter. They made me innately aware of each and every part of my body. I didn’t dislike it, I was glad to look like this, but it was a weird feeling. Even before my wardrobe had been reduced to just sterile hospital clothes, I had always preferred loose hoodies and the like. Anything to not attract any attention.

Now, though? The combination of my ears and tail with the cat-themed top practically screamed “Look at me!” and made me feel incredibly self-aware. Heck, the same would probably be true without the top. Having cat ears tended to do that. That made me realize that I’d never seen another familiar before. Truth be told, even before being trapped in my bed, I had never been one to go outside more than necessary. But still, people would surely react weirdly if they saw me? I had to ask Kara about that soon, I was lacking in basically any knowledge on anything related to our current situation.

My eyes kept darting towards Cadence – they’d been doing that ever since she first stepped into our room in her incredibly cute clothes. I felt an instinctual need to hold her close to me. I could tell she smelled amazing, likely thanks to some improved sense of smell I’d been noticing since waking up. I did my best to keep a respectable distance, trying not to disrupt her personal space.

After what felt like an eternity for what was just a walk down to the kitchen, we finally arrived and I had something to focus on other than my friend. Kara was sitting at the table, drinking something out of a mug. I instinctively knew from the intense smell that it was coffee.

I could tell from the bags under her eyes that she must not have gotten too much sleep last night, but she still greeted us with a smile, albeit a drowsy one. “G’morning!” she muttered under her breath. “Have a seat, I…” She interrupted herself with a long yawn. “Sorry, been up far too long trying to find some info. Anyway, I found out a lot of relevant stuff that I bet would be interesting for you two.”

So we each sat down at the table, turning to look at Kara. “Alright, so, truth be told, a lot of what happened is stuff I really should’ve been able to explain right away yesterday, but I, uh…” She nervously looked away from us. “Well, I kinda didn’t take the familiar class before graduation despite everyone else telling me it’d be vital. I knew some basics, like how to cast the spell in question, but I really didn’t learn much about familiars aside from how this all would help support me.” She kept averting her gaze from us, looking around the room for anything else to look at, but then one of us would move a little or my ears would twitch and she would look right back at us, only to immediately find something else to focus on again. That went on for a while, but she finally continued. “So I’m super sorry for that! As soon as I saw you, I knew you deserved better, someone who actually cared enough to study what all this would do to you. I’ve been selfish, I’m sorry!” She bit down on her lip, anxiously awaiting our judgment. Cadence and I exchanged quick glances, and her eyes were full of forgiveness.

I tried calming her. “Listen, Kara, it’s okay. You’ve done a lot to support us already. For instance, just having these clothes and a roof over our head have been super great.” I got up, approached her, and put a steady hand on her shoulder. Sure, I was pissed at her back when I’d thought I’d lost Cadence, back when I first came to, but since then she’d proven herself to be a caring individual.

I could see her holding back tears, sniffling under her breath, and I hoped that my words of encouragement would help her. “Believe me, it’s okay. Don’t beat yourself up over this. It’s all okay.”

After a few more minutes of us holding Kara and being there for her – Cadence quickly joined me in that – the budding witch calmed down enough to talk about what she’d found out. “So consider what happens when the spell hits you. It finds a valid animal target, and deconstructs the bodies. Then, from that base, your souls, your identities, they automatically seek out a form. As such, the two bodies get shaped into one – into the form that’s most comfortable for you, since you are the ones doing that molding. Well, not consciously, but still.” We quietly listened to her explanation, trying our best to wrap our heads around all this.

“So for most people, their ideal form is rather close to how they usually look. After all, that’s all they know. However, when the person was experiencing body dysmorphia – or, in your cases, dysphoria – the changes can get more expansive. The bodies don’t have to adhere to some strict binary, either. The soul doesn’t care about that, it simply expands into its natural form, so to speak.” At that last part, Cadence’s face seemed to light up, as if she’d connected the dots on… something.

“And what about those?” I intervened, pointing at my cat ears.

“Well, in this case, the chosen animal’s aspects get included in the most comfortable form. Some people don’t carry those aspects at all and are happy looking completely human most of the time, a lot of them carry small aspects, such as the two of you, and some are the most comfortable with an even more animal-esque appearance. Even you,” she turned to look at me, “seem to have some further changes, if the fangs and claws were anything to go by.”

I felt a pang of guilt at how I’d threatened Kara yesterday. I’d been so scared in the moment, and that fear had turned to anger.

“Plus, don’t forget about the purring,” Cadence added, smiling directly at me. That memory made me blush immediately. I’d forgotten all about that. How good it had felt, how I’d given in to the bliss and subconsciously produced those noises. Even extending the claws had come instinctively, back when I had been feeling angry. Same with the tail; once I’d become aware of its existence, I could move it around with no issues. It was like all these things had always been a part of me, considering how neatly they clicked into place.

“But won’t all this make it hard to… fit into society?” Cadence asked. ”I’d be pretty freaked out if I saw someone like me out in the wild. Well, would have been, before all this.”

I flinched at that question. Yeah, it would be tough to go out like this. I couldn’t very well hide those ears under a hat.

Kara simply chuckled at that. “Magic exists, silly. Most familiars just illusion magic themselves up for situations like those.”

We both stared at her, then simultaneously asked the same question: “How?”

Kara moved her hand to her face in thought. “Well, guess it’s time to introduce that. So, hope you’re ready for another lesson!”

With that, she taught us all about how magic works. “Normal animals naturally give off mana; that’s what powers magic. But since they’re… more simple-minded, it’s a simple type of mana, one that’s limited in its use and quite inefficient.”

We both paid close attention, eyes glued on her. Well, I did sneak out some glances at Cadence. Seeing her laser-focused on Kara was really cute, and I could take in every detail of her pretty face. Oh, how much I wished my hands were ruffling through her hair right now.

“Now, are you aware of Magic: The Gathering?” We both nodded. It used to be a big part of our lives, but as my condition had gotten worse, we’d played it less and less. “Alright, so, its creator, Richard Garfield, was pretty dang close in some parts. Biggest mistake was that the land doesn’t produce any mana. Some people are certain he’s a magic user, but apparently there’s no records of that, so who knows.” Cadence and I stared at each other. Magic, the game, was made by an actual wizard?

“So basically, the five colors of mana – white, blue, black, red, green – were spot-on. Just look at this!” She mumbled an incantation, then snapped her fingers. Immediately, I could see an aura build up around me, forming an outline around my arms. Upon further inspection, it seemed to be all around my body. It was a faint glow, a white light intermingling with some blue. Looking at Cadence, her aura was primarily red with some green mixed in. All around our glows, there were faint glimpses of other colors, too, but they weren’t nearly as prominent. Looking at Kara, she gave off a faint black and blue glow.

Kara continued. “What you’re seeing right now is the mana you produce. While animals can’t make any specific colors – they’re too simple for that – when you take an animal’s ability to make mana and combine that with a human mind, they can produce any color of mana.”

She pointed at herself. “What you’re seeing with me is merely my natural aura, based off of who I am as a person. Black means I tend to focus a lot on my own progress, in my case, whereas blue shows I do it by applying research. The exact colors can change as you grow as a person, but the way the aura looks – the little patterns in the glow – is unique to each person, like a magical fingerprint.”

I was still looking at my own aura. It was way stronger than Kara’s. The same applied to Cadence, the red and green glow was incredibly vibrant and it gave me a good excuse to look at her without feeling weird, eyes tracing over her outline.

She looked at Cadence, thinking for a moment. “So red and green probably mean you’re usually a pretty impulsive person that acts on instinct a lot of the time. Of course, this doesn’t have to be the exact case, the colors can manifest different attributes.”

The girl in question nodded happily. “Yup, that makes sense.” I thought back to what I knew about Cadence, which was quite a lot. She had always been quick to stand up for me, whereas I didn’t want to bother anyone. Plus, she tended to directly say what was on her mind quite often, which sometimes came back to bite her. I smiled at how on-point Kara was with her analysis. Cadence smirked at Kara. “So what about her?”

“Now, about you…” She turned to me, and I immediately felt very much self-conscious. Having someone look into who you are like that, without actually looking into you… I trusted Kara, but it still felt like my whole being was laid bare. “You, being blue and white… you’re pretty reserved, as far as I’ve seen, but you do still care about people close to you.” I could only nod at that; she was pretty much spot-on. As much as I wished I could open up more sometimes… Wait wasn’t this kinda bad?

“So does that mean I’m destined to never really come out of my shell? If this is like, my aura or whatever.” I started panicking. Wasn’t this supposed to be a fresh start?

“Woah there, slow down, kitty.” K-kitty? I could practically hear Cadence holding back a giggle. I was about to dispute that, but she continued before I could. “Your aura doesn’t define you. For starters, even if you stay blue-white, that doesn’t mean you have to stay reserved. Plus, your colors can change. It’s the pattern that identifies you, and that hasn’t been proven to have any impact on who you are.”

I sighed. I wasn’t sure if I was ready to let that “kitty” comment slide just yet, but it was reassuring to hear that things could change for me, beyond what had already changed. My body was more comfortable now, but now there were so many things I could do. So many things I wanted to do. It was just… scary. Not withholding so many parts of myself. Heck, I was still keeping myself from gushing over Cadence at this very moment. Now that this whole “she has to protect me” business was done with, it felt like there was so much to her I’d never really acknowledged. Or maybe she hadn’t been comfortable showing these things before. She just felt so much more alive now, and she’d been pretty outgoing even before all this. It was inspiring, in a way.

With a flick of Kara’s wrist, the aura was gone as suddenly as it appeared. “Alright, so, yeah, that’s the basics. If you wanna go out today, I could cast the spell for the time being, but,” she yawned, holding her hand to her mouth, “I’m tired as all heck and could really go for a nap right now.” She stretched and got up from her chair. “If you’re gonna eat breakfast, the fridge is yours. And bread’s in there.” She pointed at a breadbox on the counter. “Well then, I’m gonna go catch some Z’s now. Wake me up if anything happens.” With that, she left the room, stretching her arms as she went.

Cadence

Breakfast was… weird. To start with, it was like 1 PM which put this way past an acceptable breakfast timespan. So really, it was more like lunch. More importantly, after what had happened to us, part of me really really wanted to get closer to her, but another part was scared we might lose the friendship we’d had. Phoebe had been the one true friend I had, and reconnecting with old acquaintances was going to be… awkward, if nothing else. So really, she was all I had right now. Well, also Kara, and she seemed nice, but I’d literally known her for less than a day.

Either way, our breakfast-adjacent lunchtime meal largely went by in silence. We both cut ourselves some slices of bread and some stuff to put on the bread and began eating our respective meals. This made me consider; had this changed our dietary habits? I was pretty sure mice were omnivores, so I should be fine, aside from probably needing smaller portions now that I’d lost a bunch of weight in an instant. I didn’t really feel any particular cravings, but I’d been partial to cheese even before all this so maybe that was why.

As I chewed away on my meal, I shot some glances at Phoebe, who was going wild on her sandwich. While my teeth seemed pretty much unchanged, my friend’s canines had grown in size to give her a more fierce look, especially now that she was putting them to use. Once I opened the Pandora’s Box of looking at her, there was no going back. My eyes were fixated on her. Thankfully, her eyes were fixated on the food in her hands, so I could stare as much as I wanted. At her lean but still muscular arms, at her pretty hair, even her sharp teeth seemed attractive to me. Were those aspects something I would’ve been into a few days ago? I didn’t think I’d ever had a “type” back then, so to speak. Was it just the fact that this was all her? That this was Phoebe looking like this? There was a good chance of that. She was a good friend, and I’d known her for a long time, after all.

I was full earlier than I expected. Meanwhile, Phoebe was still wolfing down what was probably her third sandwich. Catting down? Nah, that sounded weird. I wasn’t sure if her excitement from the food was due to her being some parts cat now, or if it was just because she hadn’t had a proper meal in… a while. She’d always complained about the mediocrity of the hospital food.

She continued eating in silence. I had to do something about this, because I was certain she wouldn’t speak up herself, especially not while she was so invested in her fourth sandwich. “So, Phoebe…” Her eyes twitched and she looked up at me, slowly swallowing the food in her mouth. “Do you think that, like, this whole thing changed your preferences in food? I noticed a lot of meat in your sandwiches.”

She set down her half-eaten sandwich and thought for a second. “I think so? Maybe? Like, I don’t hate vegetables and stuff right now. Though I do think my preference for meat has gone up a bit. Maybe also my appetite? But that might change once I get into a better rhythm as far as eating goes. How about you? Are you only gonna eat cheese from now on?” She smiled at me, and gosh, I could practically feel my heartbeat now.

I took a deep breath, trying to calm down. “I don’t think so, personally. But then again, you know me, I always loved some good cheese.” We both giggled at that. It wasn’t really very funny, if you asked me. It just felt good to be talking to Phoebe after the silent meal we’d had before.

My friend absentmindedly pulled her tail into her lap and gently grabbed it in a hand, slowly moving her thumb up and down it. “Interesting. Remember what Kara said, about me having more cat attributes than you do mouse attributes? Like, my teeth…” She bared her teeth at me, and why the heck did this make me feel weird? Was this some prey instinct from the mouse part of me? But then again, this didn’t feel bad-weird or scary-weird. I hated to admit it, but it was kinda hot. But also, I was super zoning out and I could now tell she was moving her mouth. Also known as, “she’s still talking while I’m just daydreaming about her teeth.”

“…so, yeah, that’s probably why my preferences in food also changed, while yours didn’t.” She smiled at me again, showing her teeth. Did she know how flustered this was making me? She certainly seemed oblivious of it. I contemplated telling her about it, but I wasn’t sure if it was because I wanted her to stop or because I wanted her to do it more often.

Why did I have to be so weird about this? She’d been my lifelong friend, and this had never been an issue before. Then again, we both were kind of constricted in our belief of who we were. Was this actually something that I could pursue? Should I follow these feelings? Or was this just a spur-of-the-moment thing because my best friend’s ideal form just so happened to be extremely attractive to me?
Either way, I couldn’t go on like this. Second-guessing everything I do, us eating in silence like this. I felt so much better about myself, and yet now I had to act like a complete fool.

I breathed in, then breathed out. We had to at least discuss this. It wouldn’t help anyone if we were to just go on like this. “Hey, Phoebe.” She had just finished eating her fifth sandwich. “After this, can we just, like, go to our room and talk for a bit? There’s some stuff I need to get off my chest.”

She looked a little bit worried, but wordlessly nodded in response. “Yeah, I’m done now, so we can go.” We both put our plates on the counter next to where Kara left her mug and returned everything to where we got it from. All the while, an awkward silence accompanied us. I could only hope that this talk would help with that.

We were just about to head up the stairs when someone outside started knocking on the door. We just stood there for a few seconds, unsure of what to do. After some more time of us being frozen, the knocking started to turn into banging and we could hear a rough male voice from the other side of the door. “Miss, please, this is Davenport County P.D. and I’m not gonna let up knocking until either you come or this door gives in.”