I blinked a few times at the glowing system notice, trying to make sense of the message. As far as I could remember, the God of Ice Blood was part of the original twelve gods. I should have read more of the lore, shouldn’t I? Damn! Meeting a God was always a good thing, right?

An unknown force teleported me from the dim-lit dungeon into a gorgeous valley, but without serious after-effects. Damn, gods are impressive. Maybe I should look for an eternal engagement ring? The mountains loomed over me, their snowy peaks casting long shadows on the valley below. It reminded me of that one time when I met a scientist at the bar.

He told me about Artic icebergs and how he loved them more than whiskey, which resulted in my cold shoulder. I grinned at my perfect joke and shivered from the sudden decrease in temperature. Icy wind raced all around me on the frozen lake, the crystal clear ice glinting in the light.

Now I was thankful for the shoes, despite them being useless for fast running. “O divine one, you summoned me, yet where are you?” I said in a careful voice, and walked with caution towards a frozen waterfall, the only thing that looked different.

I stepped forward. The sound of my feet echoing off the ice walls created an eerie, thunderous clap that sent chills down my spine. Why wouldn’t it, if it sounded like a marching army? The sky glowed a deep, red hue like the setting sun, while the waterfall cascaded in a bloody color that froze before reaching the pure ice lake.

“What a strange location,” I murmured to myself, and the sound of my stride echoed thorough the valley once more. Although the God called me, I hadn’t found a soul. The waterfall was the only feature if I discounted the blood-colored icicles hanging off the edges.

“Thank you for heading my call, Princess. You surprised me with your ferocity, persistence and wits,” a deep voice of god filled the valley. I tried not to tremble, but my weak knees gave way and I kneeled; how fitting. Strangely, the booming voice rumbled as if it came from within me, not from outside.

“I want to offer you an opportunity to be a hero. Your indomitable will and spirit are remarkable.” I involuntarily raised an eyebrow. A Hero? As the Hero of the Flame-God, Dmitry? Yes! My eyes sparkled. As everyone else, I used to watch his videos; the unique hero phase was so flashy, bizarre and incredible!

“Me, a mere mortal priestess? I kneel before you, oh mighty God, and am filled with reverence for your infinite wisdom.” I said the first words that seemed fitting, but I felt cringe. Whatever, nobody’s recording it. Right? To be extra sure, I scanned the valley yet again.

“You have the potential of greatness! You are the only child of destiny that passed my trial,” the voice said. Oh, Boss kill, I killed him solo at level 3. Impossible turned possible by exploiting. At that thought, I grinned like that time when Patrick gave me a taste of his most expensive bottle.

Quickly, I lowered head to hide it, and hoped that my cringe roleplay was sufficient. “I haven’t devoted myself to any God yet; nor have I wanted to. But a chance to be a hero of my era is tempting.”

“I like you! So youth, so full of energy! Very well, so be it!”

“My god!” After I read the skills descriptions, I couldn’t hold myself. “I am a hero now!” The first skill was obviously the flashy skill every hero had possessed. It turned us for ten minutes into monsters. A ranker that was ten times stronger was a force to reckon with. The drawbacks were severe though, I could use it only once in three weeks and what the hell meant the position of hero?

“Oh, mighty God! May I ask when I should use the Hero Call?”

“When I judge that the fight is worthy of a hero. I will not allow it unless you will face a dire situation.” Oh bummer. That meant they used the flashy skills only in the major events, and I was out of the luck to solo bosses.

The Ice Dance was the reason I couldn’t hold myself. If I got decent items with increasing INT to level 20, my added ICE damage would be around 22. Amazing, that was on top of the staff damage! If this wasn’t cheating, then I didn’t know what was.

Well, because of the whole ice-blood, I had to bathe in the enemy’s blood, or only do half of the damage. So no one-shooting armored bosses. Damn, almost every boss was armored. Stupid game.

Although, the biggest drawback was a requirement of melee attacks. As far as I knew, the maximum reach of a melee weapon was around twenty feet. Which weapon was that, though? As a warrior, I knew only about swords; I used to be a kind of sword geek.

“Yes, my child. Use my powers well.” The weird ice place vanished, and I sat back on the dungeon floor.

I checked the skills; it wasn’t a dream. One of the past Heroes won’t be a hero this time. I am sorry, an unknown Dmitry, the Exploiter is better than you!

As I sneaked past the Goolems, the game shown the message to the world. Exiting the dungeon took me longer than I would prefer, because I had to run a few times. Naturally, sneaking wasn’t a straightforward thing for Priests.

Only a handful of players were loitering around the entrance. After all, it was a level 5 dungeon a few hours after the launch, so the masses weren’t ready yet to face the dangers.

Despite that, one thief had formed a party with a warrior and asked me, “Are you a priest? Wanna do dung?”

His words surprised me, and I scanned them; they were your usual noobs camping the entrances of every dungeon. “Thank you guys, but not now. Besides, you are only level two. If I were you, I would get back to farm the wolves. That would be more efficient.”

“Shut up, bitch. Dung is the place to level up. What do you know?” he said, his voice spitting anger.

Why, I only wanted to give them advice. What an idiot. “Suit yourself,” I said, shrugged, and walked away.

Besides, I got a new staff back in the dungeon, so I was giddy with the new loot. I had to go to the Main Village Number four for an identification scroll. Or maybe wake up Lucas? I grinned at the idea of him sleeping and me waking him up. Wait, why was I grinning? This stupid game!

To get some easy XP, I would love to exploit the rare Goolems more, but I was afraid of the wrath of AI. The anti-exploit system was in place, so if I used one exploit more than a few times, I would get punished. I didn’t want a heaven knight to find and kill me only because I got greedy. That thought sent chills down my spine, because heaven knights were level five hundred powerhouses.

There was actually a trail from the dungeon, diverging to the many villages, so I had to only choose one. I picked the Main Village Number Four; I knew about a few famous people who started there. Besides, Lisa was close, so she might have gone there.

With a grin, I walking with the confidence of an exploiter. Even my shoes weren’t that bad on an even ground, and the clap sound was pleasing; it filled me with an unknown confidence.

During my walk, I called the report window and wrote a message about the hole we dug and how I got into the dungeon. My report turned to be very detailed, perhaps more than it should for a regular person, but that was a relict of my professional test-reports. My bug reports are always perfect!

That urge was almost like encoded in my DNA. I found an input in the corner where I could fill an ID of an employee who would get the report. With a little of thought, I filled Ian’s number. He used to hang at the bar, so we'll eventually meet, and I’ll explain.

As I walked back, my path had cut across the gray wolves’ area. Their name sounded so noble, but in fact they were smaller than labradors and dirty as they rolled all day in a mud. Stupid wolfs. Although, they were the ideal enemy to test my new skills. If things got scary, I could always use the protection of rangers.

When I looked at the activation runes, my jaw dropped in disbelief at the absurdity of it all. You stupid, damnable god! I said in my mind and punched a tree slump. I had to cast a series of runes to activate the Dance skill. Three runes, to be exact. Their lines intertwined over six times and curled, so I stared at them with curses on my tongue, and tried to mimic the patterns.

Why can’t it be like warriors chants? That was easy! No, the stupid Nathan had to create it this way. If you wanted to play as an intelligent character; you had to do intelligent things! If you wanted to play as a warrior; you had to do the brute things! While focusing, I felt a wave of tiredness, but I shrugged it off. I would not rest until I tested all of my skills!

I grabbed a random stick and tapped into my mana. Imagining the runes was actually the easier part. The problem was my hand that declined to move in the way I intended. Again. And yet again. When my spell fizzled, a nearby tree felt my anger when I broke my stick over it.

It took five more sticks, and I succeeded with the spell only after an hour of tries. The three runes glittered with a blue light and waited for my activation.

“Ice Dance!” I said, and at that instant a cold crawled on my skin. With a pleasant sound of gently cracking ice, the area a few steps around me formed a slight layer of hoarfrost, plus a mist formed around my body and my super-stick. What now?

Well, I took a sip of wine until I got intoxicated to ease the pain and then I ran towards an area where the stupid wolves were rolling in a mud. I found one bouncing around a sticky, muddy ground, probably enjoying the feeling. Whatever.

“Come here, Wolfie, let auntie Princess crush your bones!” I mocked the monster and flailed with my ice-covered stick. It noticed me and roared, sending vibrations through the earth as it charged with mud flying in its wake.

As the wolfie neared, his pace slowed a bit and I could read his movements with ease; what a noob creature. So, when we clashed, I avoided his predictable claw attack despite my shoes hindering me, and the smell of splintered wood filled the air as my glorious stick connected with wolfie’s head.

My enemy yelped, and I grinned even though a mud dirtied my dress. “Now we are talking! You are, my dear wolfie, the pitiful stepping stone in my brilliant career!” The fight hadn’t lasted long and netted me only 2XP. That wasn’t the point, and I was beaming happily. For the first time since I logged in, I had things under my control.

I resumed my walk to the Main Village Number Four, but the drowsiness weighted on my steps and I knew I wouldn’t make it in time, so I logged out.

A weird screeching sound accompanied the sliding capsule, and I grabbed my shirt hanging on the side. With a grunt, I pulled it down over my head, but it somehow grew bigger while I was playing, but despite that it wasn’t easy, because my boobs were in its way. Wait, what?