Andrew caught the exchange between the two out of the corner of his eye and peered at them, "What?"

 

 

 

 

Miriam bit her lower lip and turned to the unicorn. The unicorn looked back as if to say, 'Not my problem. Good luck!' Then proceeded to vanish as the duration of her summons ended. Miriam took a deep breath then turned back to Andrew with a patronizing smile, "Let's talk about this later."

 

Andrew frowned deeply, "Uh, NO. How about we talk about this, right gosh darn NOW." He stabbed a finger at the ground, "What was that look for?"

 

The elves remained silent and just stared at the pair as an apparent argument looked like it was about to begin. Miriam sighed and let her head fall forward in exasperation, "You want to talk about this now in front of strangers? FINE." She looked up through her hair that had fallen in front of her face, "What good deeds ?"

 

Andrew pointed at the elves, "Uh, Rescuing Slaves? Good Deed!" He looked at Miriam with wide-eyed exasperation.

 

Miriam's expression went flat, "You know I KNOW what spells you cast, RIGHT?"

 

Andrew looked around and quirked an eyebrow, "Uh... SO?"

 

She flew over to the tent flap and fluttered out. A few seconds later, she came back inside, "I just wanted to double-check." She hooked a thumb over her shoulder, "Why are there piles of clothes out there with no BODIES?"

 

Andrew squinted with one eye and looked dumbfounded, "I wanted to get rid of the bodies so the kids didn't have to see them while putting them to good use."

 

"Put them to good use? 'GOOD' YOU SAY?" To say Miriam looked boggled would be an understatement, "You cast Distill PAIN!" She stabbed a finger at the tent flap, "You converted their corpses into liquid experience points!"

 

Andrew's eyes darted from side to side, "Uhh... So What? I got a lot of crafting to do!" He threw his hands towards the tent flap, "RECYCLE REDUCE REUSE! I'm protecting the environment and putting them to productive use in the process! Much cleaner than leaving their bodies to rot!"

 

Miriam blinked HARD in disbelief, "Distill Pain is an EVIL spell! It's NECROMANCY!"

 

Andrew went quiet, "Uhh... I think technically it falls under transformation."

 

"IT HAS THE WORD 'PAIN' IN THE NAME! HOW COULD EVEN THINK TO CAST IT?" Miriam's face turned red as she berated her partner, "Maybe if you are trying to pass yourself off as a druid, your logic might fly, but I thought you were aspiring to be GOOD! You know, a hero?" She got right in his face, her fists balled up and arms straight at her side as she leaned into his personal space, "Like you CLAIM To be!"

 

Andrew backed up and hooked a thumb at his chest, "HEY! I'm as LAWFUL GOOD as they come! I may have stumbled but I'm more than happy to cast a consecration spell and pay a tithe!"

 

"Lawful good???" She smacked her forehead, "Paladins are lawful good. Did you know that?" She pointed toward the exit, "Explain to me how distilling the death energy of your enemies into a magical fluid for crafting magic is something a PALADIN would do!"

 

Andrew opened his mouth.

 

Nothing came out.

 

He held up a finger.

 

Still, nothing came out.

 

He closed his mouth and looked away, scrunching up his lips as he stared off into the distance. Eventually, he looked at Miriam, "It gets rid of the corpses without a trace, thus helping to cover our tracks, which will protect the children and this woman!" He nodded slowly as if he thought he had won the argument.

 

"Uh... huh." Miriam put her hands on her hips, "Well, if THAT was your goal, then you clearly don't need the byproduct. That's just an unwanted side effect of your intended purpose." She held out a hand, "Fork it over. I'm going to go pour it out."

 

"Are you insane?" Andrew looked shocked, "Do you know how long it took to get what little materials I've gathered so far? That vial is over four months of grinding! The wall of salt trick didn't work, so I need this!"

 

Miriam withdrew her hand and instead crossed her arms as she glared at Andrew.

 

 "I mean... it... already exists, right?" Andrew looked increasingly unsure of himself, "It'd be a real shame to let it go to waste. Think about how much good could be done with it." He sounded less and less convinced the more he talked, "I mean, at the very least I should..." He paused, then snapped his fingers and pointed at the woman, "Give it to her so she can sell it for cash!" He started nodding as if he had reached a good compromise, "They're going to need money, after all." He reached over his shoulder to summon forth a flask of malevolent liquid, "Those men were her captors, so it only seems reasonable they get it as compensation." He held it out towards Elyin, offering it to her.

 

Upon seeking the flask, the woman let out a shriek and interposed herself between Andrew and the children. Her eyes were wide with terror, her whole body trembling at the mere presence of the abhorrent fluid.

 

Miriam's eyes bugged out of her head, "What Are You THINKING?!" She fluttered over towards the woman and grimaced apologetically, "Sorry about this! His heart's in the right place. He's trying. He's really a nice guy when you get to know him."

 

Andrew shuddered all over from frustration, "Oh COURSE I'm a nice guy! I killed the bad guys! I removed their curses and wizard sigils! I even arranged to summon a Unicorn to make sure they were healthy!" He pointed at his face, "That's ME! The Good Guy!" He flicked the container, "It's just a bottle of experience points! Why's everyone getting so worked up?"

 

Upon being flicked, the flask let out a soft moan, like a dozen souls wailing in anguish. Andrew paused to quirk an eyebrow at it.

 

Miriam closed her eyes and fluttered over to Andrew, gesturing towards the item in a fashion that he should be careful with it, "Just... Listen to me. Please?"

 

Andrew wiggled the flask a little as he held it up to the light. Again, he heard the tortured cries of the damned, "Okay..." His eyes slowly shifted to look at Miriam, "I'm listening."

 

"I was, and technically still am, a corruptor class devil. My JOB was to corrupt my master, in this case, YOU, into becoming evil, but now its the other way around." Miriam steepled her fingers, "What was it you said your father told you? The tools of evil cannot be used for good?" She shifted her steepled fingers to point at the substance in Andrew's hand, "I don't care what reason you come up with, that's a tool of evil and exactly the sort of shortcut I'd convince someone to use if I was trying to drag their soul to Hell."

 

"But... " Andrew bit his lip as he contemplated the distilled essence of suffering itself suspended between his fingertips, "I already spent experience buying this spell." His eyes flickered to Miriam, "You're telling me I bought something I can never use?"

 

Miriam looked sympathetic, "Well, I bet you could remain lawful neutral if you worked at it." She slowly shook her head, "But if you are wondering why you aren't lawful good..." She scrunched her nose as if she was smelling something awful, "That's why."

 

The woman finally seemed to find her voice, "The road to evil is the path of least resistance and paved with the best of intentions." She sounded terrified to speak, but she spoke all the same, "If you are unsure what to do, ask yourself, what would be the hardest choice to make? Chances are, that's the right one."

 

Andrew eyed the woman and the children behind her. He could not help but see the fear in their eyes. He took a deep breath, turned to Miriam, and offered her the flask.

 

"You have no idea how much this hurts."

 

"I have a pretty good idea." She took the flask and moved to exit the tent, "More than I'd like to admit." She disappeared outside. A few seconds later, Andrew's whole body cringed as he heard the faint sound of a flask shattering against a tree. Andrew closed his eyes as he shook his head sadly, "Six.... hundred..."

 

A moment later, the tent shuddered as howling wind could be heard outside. It raised to a crescendo and made the walls of the tent tremble. The elves all huddled together as the sounds of some sort of horrific beast seemed to be prowling around outside. Andrew rushed for the exit, but as he reached it, the wind and wailing came to an abrupt stop. Instead, as he pulled back the flap, he was greeted by a smiling Miriam.

 

"All gone!" She entered the tent as if nothing had happened.

 

Andrew poked his head outside and looked around, trying to figure out what just happened. Nothing unusual appeared to be going on. He couldn't even tell what tree the flask had been smashed against. He let the flap fall back into place and looked at Miriam, "Uhhh..." He sighed, "Fine. Fine. FineFineFineFine-FINE." and looked glum.

 

Miriam tilted her head to the side, "You... okay?"

 

"NO!" Andrew sighed, "My build is suboptimal! Nothing is going the way it should and I can't figure out how to fix it!" He gestured outside, "Today I learned I could have used Adventure Magazine articles in my build so I missed so many options I could CRY!" He let his arm fall to slap against his side, "And now? Now I find out that the most useful crafting spell that EVER EXISTED..." He pretended to crumple something up to throw over his shoulder, "POOF! No longer available!" He let his shoulders slump in defeat as he turned to leave, "This has got to be the worst day of my life."

 

He threw open the flap then looked back at the elves, "Okay. Listen up and listen good. With any luck, nobody else will be coming here, but we shouldn't take any chances. I'm low on everything right now. I am as far from ready for a fight as I can be. What we're going to do is loot everything we can. Focus on clothes that will fit you and food, then pick up anything else that's useful. I'm going to go loot the wizard's tent." He pointed off to one side, "I had the creatures pile all the useful stuff over there. Get yourself as well equipped as you can. Whatever you can't carry is going to be burned, then we're heading back to my base camp to sleep until morning when I can refresh my spells."

 

He stepped out.

 

Nobody followed him.

 

A minute later he came back inside, "What's going on? We got to move." He clapped his hands, "Chop-Chop! This place ain't safe."

 

Miriam had been talking to the elves when Andrew came back inside. She turned to look at him, "I'm making friends. Something you might want to try?"

 

Andrew closed his eyes and steepled his fingers. He banged his forehead against the tips a few times, took a deep breath, then opened his eyes as he forced a smile, "I get it. You're trying to teach me how to be a better person. However, what I teach is how to SURVIVE."

 

Andrew looked at the elves, "I have a plan. I can fix everything. If you trust me, I'll make everything right, but to do that, I need you to work WITH me." He turned to Elyin then closed his eyes as he bowed his head, "I know what you have been through. I want to give you time to deal with that, but right now is not the place. We could be in a LOT of danger and the window of opportunity to get to safety is rapidly closing." He opened his eyes and put his hand over his heart, "I ask for nothing in return. I'm doing all of this to help you with nary a thought of compensation. The LEAST you can do is work WITH me to save YOUR LIVES."

 

There was silence, then Miriam turned to the shell-shocked elves, "He's right. I know that it's been rough, but I promise you, if you listen to him, you'll be safe. He's rude, but he's the best at what he does. If he says he has a plan to fix everything, he'll fix everything." She looked at Andrew and gave him a half smile as she continued to speak to the elves, "The man can do the impossible."

 

The woman blinked several times and eventually nodded in agreement. She turned to the children and pulled them into a huddle. She spoke to them in elvish as if she was giving them a pep talk. The children all nodded and proceeded to file out of the tent. Andrew nodded towards Miriam, "Keep an eye on them. I already blew my Holy Recall, so we got a bit of a hike in front of us. At the very least I want to get somewhere we can safely hide in a rope trick." He turned to head to the Wizard's tent, "We bug out in five minutes. Focus on getting them better clothing and footwear. Even if it's too big, have them wear SOMETHING in every item slot you can fill."

 

As Andrew entered the wizard's tent, Elyin turned to Miriam, "Does... he always talk using such strange words?"

 

 

Miriam smiled and nodded, "You get used to it. Most brilliant men are a bit awkward." She turned her gaze to the tent Andrew had entered.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"And he is quite possibly the most brilliant man on the planet."