Death and life
My name is Hana, a humble librarian who lived until the age of 33 without family, friends or anyone to miss me.
I was working just like I had done all my life and then... A huge earthquake hit my city, buildings fell, the ground opened up and... Fire, so much fire, it spread burning like dried straw, I couldn't run, everything was blocked, I couldn't scream, my lungs were burning with ashes and embers. No matter how hard I tried, my flesh and will, everything soon as eaten by the fire.
The next thing I remember is being here, floating in a vast space of pure black, I couldn't move, I couldn't see, feel or speak. I didn't know how much time had passed by, any time seemed like an eternity. Had I survived? I was completely debilitated, forever trapped in a broken body locked on a bed, without family, friends or anyone to even cry for me?
I rambled on, thinking about my apparently miserable situation, and eventually I realized that my body felt heavy...
As if a huge pressure was being put on me, like being tied down by tight ropes, I tried to move and I could feel it... feel that I moved! After so much time, a feeling was nothing more than comforting!
I kept moving, but it was more like struggling, I couldn't feel the needles or the soft bed I was supposed to be on? What kind of situation is this? I kept shaking from a side to another, and soon I could feel a crack, clearly a crack! Something had broken!
Soon my whole body began to itch, as if to tell me to continue what I'd been doing until now, it felt like an "instinct?
I couldn't stand the tingling sensation in my body, it was too much, I had to make it stop, I kept swinging, faster and harder!
CRACK, CRACK--- C-
I'm out! I can breathe and move again! but something's wrong...
My arms, since when do I have 4 of them?!? My vision, it's strange, I can see more than before, but differently, it's confusing as hell!!!
I feel weak, all that work to get out of that darkness... From that egg?? And now this?!?! It can only be some kind of dream or nightmare.
I waited for a while, what seems like a long time, and soon I feel hungry... This can't be a dream, I'm too conscious to be one, could this be the famous Isekai that everyone dream about so much?
All right, I think I can handle it... Maybe? If I remember these stories correctly, the reincarnated protagonist should be very powerful or at least have a stolen ability. How do I find out if a have those powers? I need to speak Status?
"Status?"
| [Status] | ||
| Name:N/A | Species: Solitary honeybee | |
| Level: 1 | Class: Queen | Mana: N/D |
| Life: 3 | Str: 0.2 | Def: 0.1 |
| Spr: 1.3 | Int: 15 | Wis: 5 |
| [Skills] |
|
{Wax making} lv 1 Use plant material to create wax that can be used for various purposes. |
|
{Create Honey} lv 1 Create honey from flower nectar. |
|
{Maternal Connection} - locked You can command and impose your own will on your offspring |
|
{Egg laying} Lv 1 Make your offspring with our body nutrients. [Laying options] - Work bee Lv1 - Soldier Bee lv1 |
|
{Memorial Memory} Lv1 |
| [Traits] |
|
{Wise} You have accumulated a lot of knowledge throughout your life Intelligence +20% Wisdom+30% |
|
{Fear of burning} Life -25% Fire Defence -85% |
|
{Conserned player} Wisdom -75% Speed -5 |
Weeeell... that's something to start with, I guess?
Stupid river of souls, unable to extinguish fear of fire.
You'd think the system would help ease trauma instead of branding it on your soul
wveryone
should be "everyone"
it's my first story and English isn't my first language.
Pretty good so far!
I did notice some mistakes here and there, but honestly
(and even without the fact that it's your first time writing and english not being your first language)
it's really great.
Defense
Is spelled as Defence
Nah, it's right
Oh well, that's a new concept, an insect isekai, but seems promising. If I can give some tips : - the start is a little rushed, there is info not needed (age and profession). The "isekai = cheat" is confusing, at least, when she spawn, make it like automatically open for the first time. Also, I know human can adapt extremely fast, but there is to much surprise followed by acceptance after dying in a traumatising manner. More on the practical side, there can be "title" who is a sort of achievement, bu also "trait" and there you can place the fear of fire. Something who ruins a little the world is that she is not expecting anything else than to be a monster, that it is a magical word when there is LITERALLY no info. She should be extremely confused
(buuuuut if she has the system who open automatically, she can start to understand). If someday you woke up in a strange way, did you say "MAGIC IS REAL"?
You can use the T.T.E (trial/test/error)for thé MC.And last, she is a damn young librarian, she should like books and read a lot ! Why is she talking like she is 70 years old about isekai ? (The part with cheat power is ruining a little). Anyway, the story picked my interest, and I will continue to observe how it goes 
. Don't get shy about your writing, it's hard to be fluid at start, but it will come. Best of luck in this work and tftc !
Wow I never wrote this much
Thanks for the tips and criticism too! I also felt that it could be a little too fast at the beginning and that she was too "cool" with the situation, but I intend to explore this more in the next chapters, and the way she speaks like a lady is on purpose! my idea of a character is a girl in her 30s who had no family or friends, someone who saw the world in a negative way and was grumpy
@Baeon Okay ! I'm sure your style will be polished as chapters goes.
Thanks for the chapter
Are you using darker color for negative debuff on titles? Its really dark could barely see it almost didn't see it.
Yes, I used dark letters at the beginning, because I use my hub in dark mode, then I didn't see any defects, because for me the letters just became smaller and in a bold style. But in the next chapters this was fixed, I will fix this in the initial chapters too
@Baeon Okay ty
tftc
I was working just like I had done all my life and then... A huge earthquake hit my city, buildings fell, the ground opened up and... Fire, so much fire, it spread burning like dried straw, I couldn't run, everything was blocked, I couldn't scream, my lungs were burning with ashes and embers. No matter how hard I tried, my flesh and will, everything soon as eaten by the fire.
What a unique way to die.
All right, I think I can handle it... Maybe? If I remember these stories correctly, the reincarnated protagonist should be very powerful or at least have a stolen ability. How do I find out if a have those powers? I need to speak Status?
"Status?"
This is probably already a trope.
{Fear of burning}
You have suffered a great trauma related to fire, so much so that it has engraved itself on your soul, and has become something you cannot tolerate
Life -25% Fire Defense -85%
{Conserned player}
You think too much, and you always think the worst, even the wise become useless in the face of indecision.
Wisdom -75% Speed -5
Interesting.
Thanks for the chapter