I'll start off by saying that this is an interesting concept, having a person from a futuristic setting crash-land in some fantasy medieval setting.    

That said however, I do find that this is a bit too heavy on the exposition side for my tastes. From reading both the synopsis and the notes on the individual chapters, I know that this is the rewritten version of the story, with added material. However, longer is not necessarily better.    

Including background information is good. However, for optimal effect, it might be better to scatter it over larger portions of the narrative. Too much of it all at once leads to cluttering, disrupting the flow and taking away much of the suspense.  

Splitting up some of the longer paragraphs into shorter ones would also increase readability and improve the story from a narrative standpoint.   

Also, I was not a huge fan of the whole sound effects bit.  

*Bam**Bam**Bam*   

It's a fine art, knowing when to give and when to withhold information. Because as much as readers might want to know and understand the backgrounds of characters and events, it is not necessarily to the benefit of the story itself to give them this information right away. I would have much preferred to have known less about Lloyd's circumstances, and to learn about them more gradually after he had been stranded over in that other world. That would have had a far greater impact over what I got here, being fed that information paragraph after paragraph in the prologue.    

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When a person reads a civilization or upgrading book such as this, nobody has the right to complain about the length of the book, or how much of the info dump there is because when you read this book, you knew that was gonna be an info dump about technological progression is old one had more chapters, but most likely was what is the word a little bit less correct on the whole progression of technology and stuff the biggest problem I have here is this person barely updated their page and even the old version has more pages than the current version and that’s the problem that I have

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