By acaswell
Alice is a girl who loves science and lives on Earth. Then, suddenly, she was punted into another dimension. A dimension where magic and monsters roam the land, and, for some reason, a System keeps dinging at her and telling her that her stats and
Summary: Meet a guy named Charles who soul get taken by one of the “old gods” and is chosen act as their champion to fight the influence of the “new gods”. Unfortunately he gets knocked off course a bit and ends up as a chicken?! “Wait? Wheres the guide I was promised” follow Charles as he lives his birdy life to the fullest, yearning to grow stronger to fulfill his purpose while also having to constantly battle these pesky things known as instincts, even if hes mostly just ‘winging’ it.
Ok lets be honest here, this story isn't perfect, I cant pinpoint exactly why I dont like it. But the best way I can describe it, is that it doesn’t really flow as nicely as it should.
Sometimes the MC is motivated and determined, while other times he just has no idea what hes doing. MC knows theres this entire world out there with beasts just as smart as he is and just has no motivation to explore it. He seems content just to let his instincts run the show. Heck he doesn’t even really attempt to check out humanity until his siblings get involved. Its not a bad way to approach your story, its just not one that im super into.
Another thing is that this kingdom, MC lives next to, is apparently like a pokemon kingdom or something. They take taming animals more seriously then other kingdoms, and actually have laws in places for specific taming methods and taming particularly rare creatures. So knowing all that, where the heck are all the other tamed animals?! Shouldn’t there be more examples in the story itself?
Maybe my main problem here is a lack of good world building? Idk there’s something missing about this story.
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I agree with Poison Ice Blade, the story is great, though it's (personally) missing a little something. I would give it a 4.5, if that was possible with the current rating system.
The main character is so cute, other characters are also cute. The author uses good grammar, much better than mine, and the plot is good.
Now, I also tried to pinpoint what has been bothering me about this story. I mean, it is great, but also empty, somehow.
1. the main character's growth. It doesn't feel like he's striving to improve himself. He trains with the others, sure, but nothing more than that. He doesn't ponder battle strategy and the way to best improve efficiency. He doesn't search up on his enemies' information beforehand. He doesn't train himself. He calls himself a battle junkie bird but I can't feel it. He feels like a peaceful old man. No enemies, not ones that hurt him. The peace gets boring after a while.
2. Goals. What is the giant bird's goals? It feels like he is just going with the flow all the time. He doesn't make plans and doesn't do things actively on his own. He just follows the humans around. He's the main character, it doesn't feel right.
3. Lack of details. It feels to me like this world is a mushy pile of cotton candy: nothing definite, or eye-catching. No unique theme. No unique... something. Details that exist are boring. The fights and training scenes could do for more explanations. What is essence, anyway? The story feels like it will fall into the taste of people who enjoy reading about character bonding. But monster evolution stories typically place more emphasis on action and adventure, so I think it would be better to make that clear in the summary.
4. Please don't be hurt by all the nonsense I have been saying. I still love your story, and I think you have created an awesome story. I especially love the spendid relationships between characters. And since this review is based on my personal opinions and taste, I trust you won't believe in it entirely. No, please take this in as a grain of salt.
kkkk Cheering you on!!
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I loved everything in book 1 and then everything after became boring with stupid bird puns. I feel like this a burger commercial with a hot girl on the cover then when you buy the burger you realize you it didn't come with the hot girl and the burger is overrated.
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Good story, nice magic system, and interesting goal. No major grammar or spelling issues.
My one issue is that the characters feel a little too made up as we go alongish. There are times when it feels more like a character is doing something because plot rather than it making sense, and other times when I think the character should be acting differently but am not sure enough of the character type to know.
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