Synopsis -
This is the story of an unfortunate person thrown into the world of MCU(AU Obviously) before Canon events and is given the power of Technomancy.
The man chooses to become a good samaritan and starts to prepare to protect the world he calls home now.
A/N :- First time author here so please have mercy.Constructive Criticism is always appreaciated.
Thank you :)
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I will be posting the same story on royalroad as well so stay tuned for that!
tldr: If you are an MC centric reader (like a specific MC, follow his story, his POV, prefer him take action, not be invalid for most of the story) this is not for you.
It is well written in terms of grammar and entertaining to read.
I tried, don't much like it. Other than it feels like a mostly done story, , we get the end part when things are winding down and everything is set, the easy part to write (not the build up with all the details), there is no MC, I just prefer stories with an MC. It claims to have an MC, sure, but he is less than 1/4 of the chapters POV (if not less).
Not to mention that, for me, the entire novel feels like each chapter is an attempt at a filler: How can we delay giving the POV of the MC? How can we delay healing the MC so he can use his powers, since they are, allegedly, too OP... and it never comes. How can we drag this a bit longer?
The answer: POV over POV of the same situation, endless rewriting of the same scene from different characters. It's basically a movie, light on the details, and mostly action, little else. Relationships? Already in place. Personality? Set in stone. Enemies? Pop out of nowhere and no explanation (good one at least, one satisfying enough to feel like we actually got information).
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The premise of the story comes about a bit suddenly with little-to-no background on our MC, but as the story progresses you get little tantalizing snippets of his history that have you wondering who and what he was before the current story. I'm rather invested in finding out the past of the MC and his AI because it doesn't feel like his AI is just an AI.
The characters are, thankfully, not just some dumbed-down parodies of the iconic figures from the MCU and resemble their counterparts in canon works to a degree. Writing believable content in regards to already canonically established characters is a daunting effort requiring the author to either get into the canon author's headspace or to be devoted to the original works' characters to a nearly obsessive degree, so the writing of this story should be commended for not taking the characters and exaggerating certain aspects of the characters and making them cardboard cutouts of them (though I would recommend taking at least Fury up a notch as I hadn't read a single curse from him in this story so far and it feels like Samuel Jackson is biting his lips and trying to keep things PG-13).
I appreciate that the grammar is fairly good with only the occasional colloquialism missing a word or having a misspelling indicative of either editing having accidentally removed it or 'Author Blindness' (as in the writer of a piece knows what they meant to be there and their eyes skip over the fact that words or letters are missing from their works because their mind fills it in for them which is one of the major reasons proofreaders are an author's second best friend next to a good editor).
The writing keeps up a nice brisk pace for almost the entire time. The flow of the writing is a bit stiff at times though this is already really good and the improvement over the chapters is quite noticeable in my opinion. I would recommend that the use of onomatopoeia be removed from writing if possible and replaced with better descriptive structures that describe the sound /effect taking place as the use of them usually breaks the reader away from the writing itself (*BANG!* *BOOM!* or things like that coming out in the middle of epic descriptions usually pull a reader away from whatever their imagination is pulling up and just sort of slaps the sound effect in a jarring fashion. Instead of doing that you could do something like, '-the sudden pop and crack of a bullet split the air' or 'a flash of light, intense heat, and the sudden pressure followed by a belated thundering roar as the air itself became a wall of force' is much more immersive than a culturally appointed onomatopoeia).
Overall, I'm loving this story. I hope to read more and am delighted with the improvement I'm seeing in the writing quality of each new chapter. Please keep doing your best in improving your writing, it brings me joy to see writers getting better at their craft.
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If you are a person who likes an MC-centric point of view, and doesn't like multiple points of view so much, don't even try reading because you will find it stressful and repetitive.
the grammar, the construction of the characters and the way the author portrays the events is VERY well written, that was something that I really admired about this story, BUT the story is VERY repetitive, because it sometimes shows 3 to 4 POV's about the same event, I feel that sometimes these POV's can last 2 chapters, making the story VERY repetitive in relation to the events of the plot, so that the development is so slow that you read 3 chapters but it seems like it didn't even leave the place in the history
besides, the MC APPEARS IN 1 CAP WITH THE POV CENTERED ON HIM, FOR 3 TO 4 CHAPTERS WITHOUT APPEARING, SO FAR OF THE 36 CHAPTERS THAT I HAVE READ, the MC ONLY APPEARED 6 TIMES AS THE CHAPTER'S CENTRAL POV
In short, the author has VERY GOOD writing qualities but the way he/she decided to construct the plot devalues these qualities so that the small defects become more apparent than the positive points, of course holes in the plot like: "How long Is the MC already in this universe?", "What paths did he take to be in the position of power he is in today?", "How long has he been sick because he didn't use an enhancement serum on himself, or why is he sick? Haven't you tried to find out why he has this condition?"...... of course this could be explained through flashbacks, BUT THAT DOESN'T HAPPEN, and ends up turning the MC into a secondary character in the story itself, honestly I'm just not going to give it 2 stars because of the author's writing elements, they are really very good, otherwise it would be 2 stars due to the extremely slow development, the repetitiveness, the main fact that the MC will be secondary in the story itself because others have more screen time than him
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Occasionally a "good guy to be good" kinda character is fun
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the synopsis made me believe the MC would be a pushover whiteknight, thankfully I was mistaken, it's not that bad, also Alfred the AI is a very good supporting character, my favorite one on this novel.
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