"Get out."

Impressive how quickly a room can empty when you say that.  Though a dozen living shadows manifesting around me at the same time?  May have helped, 'motivate' them.

A smidge.

Can smell the trap.  Offer me a school.  Then offer me a wife.  Hey.  Have you ever thought about castle ownership?  In the long run its a lot cheaper than renting.

Of course, the wife will get pregnant.  Of course, the castle will get besieged.  And of course the school will have hot coeds.  Give the kid so much sexing and fighting that he turns into a happy little murder puppy.  Well this old mangy mutt, ain't falling for it!

Seriously.  How much would replacing this dump's sump pump cost?  How much to replace the septic tank?  Where is the septic tank?  Maybe I could flip it?  Is there a shady contractor's guild?

Slap on some new molding, fresh paint, change the curtains, and BAM!  Some sucker will pay twice what its worth.  ...Nah.  Dealing with those primadona interior decorators is too much of a pain.

Okay.  Plan B then.  First stop?  Where's the post office?

---

Poor kid.  I'm sort of his boss now and no one likes to be yelled at by their boss.  At least they said their fastest bird will get my message to count monocle.  Is there a fastest bird?  They all looked like pigeons to me.

Would they lie to their new boss?  ...  Yep.  Totally.  New bosses are the easiest ones to lie too after all.  Did it plenty of times myself.

"Find someone else to run this castle... Stop.  Or I'll turn it into rubble before House Gilend does...  Stop."  Hmm...  Was I too subtle?  Nuanced?

He's smart.  Can probably read between the lines.

Next stop?  Red's, family.  All morning knight-wife has been holding back.  Wanting to beg me to heal the leper lady and forgive her siscon brother.  However, she also feels super guilty over how much trouble she's brought me.

So Edel's holding it in.  Hoping for an opportunity but also afraid I'll say no.  Meekly following as I walk out of the keep, across the drawbridge, and down the fancy western stairs.

Two black and green knights run up and fall in behind me as I walk across the inner courtyard.  Maybe their pride is keeping my two shadow paladin escorts from scaring them off?  Maybe its patchy's orders?  I don't know.

Lions Keep is buzzing with all the activity a castle preparing for war should have.  Food being stockpiled.  Soldiers training.  Blacksmiths... blacksmithing.  Etc...

Red's confused.  She assumed we would be going back to our rooms.  Getting something to eat.  Or even going to the school.  Her eyes bulge cutely when she finally realizes where we are going.  As instructions are passed to open the prison.  She leans over, playfully licks then nibbles my ear, and whispers.

"Thank you husband.  I love you."

Is this it?  The moment I finally get to use the line I've wanted to use since middle school?

"I know."

It is!  Yeah!  Woohoo!  Baby?  You've been Solo'd.

Ouch.  Double eye roll.  Red and Frankie are both shaking their heads and smirking.  Their [See Thru Husbands Antics] cheat strikes back.  Imperially.  Don't get how two words could be so cool?  One day I'll show you girls the real movies.  Not the travesties that came later.

My wives say prisons are rare in this world.  Crimes are quickly punished by getting beat up, publicly humiliated, paying a fine, or slavery.  Prisoners in Tourin are all 'political.'  Enemies that are too valuable to kill or enslave.  So you imprison, and maybe torture, until their release is negotiated.

Or they die from torture.

Lions Keep has two prisons.  The 'you stay here until we decide what to do with you' one.  Its own building in the inner courtyard.  And the 'you gonna die and its going to hurt the whole time dying' one.  Which is in the second floor below the keep.

As the door finally opens, we step into the one story stone bunker like building.  Entering a long hallway.  On each side are six doors.  First two I know are guard quarters and the locks for the only door in and out of this place.  The remaining ten are cells.

Last one on the right is now the humble abode of the elf bitch.

Each room is walled and roofed in stone with a heavy solid door and no windows on the inside.  So prisoners cannot see who is in the hallway.  At least with their eyes.

My paladins enter Ushi and Edel's shadows as the guard opens the outer door. The three of us walk in while the knights remain in the hallway.

Inside is a small area separated from a larger living space by vertical bars.  Backless benches are in the smaller area.  The larger is furnished with a bed, table, chairs, and even a screen providing privacy for the toilet.  A barred closable window is in the outside wall.

So there is some natural lighting.

Sitting at the table, listlessly eating her lunch, is a very dejected looking elf.

"Aezi?"  Red whispers.

The elf stops in the middle of eating her food.  She puts the fork down and starts twirling her hair.

"Edely?"  The royal sentinel of Granya keeps her head down, looking at her plate.

Red looks at me with big pleading eyes.  I sigh, use the key the guard gave me.  And open the door in the bars.

Knight-wife walks into the room.  Gets on her knees next to the elf's chair.  Takes off her helmet.  And lays her head on the prisoner's lap.

Tears from the elf start landing on my wife's face but she doesn't mind.  Soon Aezeti is caressing Edel's face and running her fingers through that short curly ruby hair.

Not moving from that spot, Red starts talking.  Relating everything that's happened since the moment she headed east five years ago.

Ushi and I snuggle up on a bench and wait.

Edel admits she told her family she wanted the Marquis to get away from them.  Talks about her loneliness.  The man she gave her virginity too.  Old enough to be her father, married, with kids.  Who was also her captain.  Their affair.  The horrors of the demon invasion.  How her lover died.

Desperate battles and last stands.  Despair.  Sudden retreat of the monster hordes.  New orders and the wild flight to a remote monastery.  And the first time seeing me.  Walking through camp covered in dirt, blood, and wearing rags.  Looking like the savage northern barbarian marauder everyone was told I was.

Shock at all the blood in my tent.  And the even bigger shock of seeing me heal the girls.  Feeling and smelling vast amounts of mana burning.  More than any mage or demon she had seen use in any siege or battle.  Accepting grizzly's request to become my bodyguard.

When she brings up monocle revealing I'm from another world?  Aezeti's head snaps to me for the first time since we came in.  How I'm a father taken from my family and placed in a child's body.

Even describes grizzly and monocle's sales pitch about marriage.  That she is passed her prime, risks becoming a spinster, and how the world may never see another being as strong as me.  Wow, didn't know they were laying it on thick.

The journey.  Watching my carriage orgy.  Do you really have to tell her every everything?  The guild.  Me being declared a Swordmage.  Baths.  Dungeon crawl.  My shadows.  Church ambush.  Losing everyone.  Healing her and her healing me.  Our marriage.

Our bond, which brings another head snap to me.  Damn Red, you shouldn't be telling people that.  And then our express trip here.  She goes into a lot of detail about the rough love shack.  How she was trying to impress me.  How she disgraced herself and our marriage.

Finally how she doesn't know if she can ever forgive herself.  How she will work for the rest of her life to earn being worthy of me.  Yeah, we are going to have to talk about that last bit.  Girl's gonna give herself grey hairs.

And then Aezeti explained her part in Red's fall.  Gotta give her props.  Didn't think she would fess up.

Edel takes it well.  Counters with how a worthy wife would not have disgraced herself.  Red's too eager to martyr herself.

There it is.  That mother sister lesbo whatever thing.  Elf bitch is on the floor with Red now and they are hugging and sobbing.  Might be some kissing in there too but, whatever.  As long as she, isn't a he, or a trap?  I'll allow it.

After I couldn't tell you how long, think Red even took a nap in elf bitch's arms, Ushi did in mine.  They finally both get up and walk over.  Holding hands?  Is it NTR if your chick is stolen by a chick?

Aezeti comes out and kowtows in front of me.

"Thank you for not killing Tan."  The brother too?  Just what kind of freak is she?  "My stupidity was my own.  My, jealousy was my own."  No shit.  "Please spare Granya your wrath."  Hmm...  I have pondered what kind of living shadows elven royalty would make.

Ow.  Why are you pinching me Frankie?

"Master.  You are the lord of Lions Keep."  Shit, she's giving me the 'you should this' look.  "As the ranking member of House Lianlaf here?  It is your decision."  God dammit.  A murder spree would be so much easier.

Sigh.

I get up and pound on the door, which quickly opens.  Eh?

"Butler?"  What the fuck is he doing here?

"My lord.  You have missed lunch and your wives may be hungry."  Oh yeah, elf bitch was eating when I came in.  "We have brought meals for you.  Please at least let your wives eat so they can keep their strength up."

Four of my maids come in with plates and drinks.  Oh that smells like, ham?  Love me some dead piggy.

"Have you and the maids eaten yet?"

"Yes, my lord."  Of course not-sebastian is on top of things.

"Alright.  Then inform the jailer that I am showing clemency and what's her name here is released."

"What's her na-?  Ah.  I see.  At once my lord."  Butler smartly turns and heads to the guard rooms.

The maids are clumsy but they give an admirable effort to serve a light lunch.  I say pretty much nothing but Frankie, Red, and elf bitch are having a grand old time chatting away.

Once the meal is done, with the food and talk settling, its time for the next stop.

"Red?"

"Yes husband?"  She looks, expectant.

"Its time to speak to your brother."

Elf bitch speaks.  "My lord Barton.  Tan and Ale love each other very much.  He was driven mad with grief when the disease struck her.  If he on-"  That's enough.

"Do I look like the forgiving type?"

She pauses before replying.  "No."  My patience has been getting a bit, thin.

I bore into her eyes with mine.

"I am not here for you.  I am not here for them.  I am not even here for me."  Pause for dramatic effect.  "I am here, for my son.  And if this world must burn to keep him safe?"  Bring it bitch.  "It, will, burn."