Chapter Six – Definitely Not Extortion
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Stray Cat Strut (A cyberpunk system apocalypse!) - Ongoing
Fluff (A superheroic LitRPG about cute girls doing cute things!) - Ongoing
Love Crafted (Interactive story about an eldritch abomination tentacle-ing things!) - Completed
Dreamer's Ten-Tea-Cle Café (An insane Crossover about cute people and tentacles) - Ongoing
Cinnamon Bun (A wholesome LitRPG!) - Ongoing
The Agartha Loop (A Magical-Girl drama!) - Hiatus
Lever Action (A fantasy western with mecha!) - Volume One Complete!
Heart of Dorkness (A wholesome progression fantasy) - Ongoing
Dead Tired (A comedy about a Lich in a Wuxia world doing Science!) - Hiatus

Chapter Six - Definitely Not Extortion

Azzap’s Pizza place wasn’t what Emily was expecting.

For some reason, she had a mental image of the kind of grungy, dirty pizza place that would give a health inspector literal and metaphorical hives.

Instead, the place was a clean, if modest, little shop. A small area with some chairs and tables out front, a bench next to the doorway, and enough parking space for two and a half cars next to the building.

Emily, Sam, and her gaggle of sisters could see the building across the street from the tight little alley they were in.

“So, you going to go in the front door in-costume and ask to talk to the boss?” Sam asked.

Emily knew that she had failed to plan this well, but it still made her cringe inside to have her terrible planning rubbed into her face. “Yes,” she said.

“With all of the little ones?” Sam asked. She glanced back at the sisters.

Emily shook her head. “No, that would be... frankly, kind of terrible. I don’t even know if we’d all fit. I’ll take... Athena? She’s the most, ah, socially mature.”

“Hey, what’s that mean?” Teddy asked while Athena smugged next to her.

“It means that I’d rather you stay and watch over Trinity and Sam while I’m away,” Emily said.

Teddy crossed her arms, but she didn’t protest.

“You sure you can manage that, Boss?” Sam asked.

Emily stared at the young woman. “What do you mean?”

Sam’s smile didn’t diminish at all. “Emily, you’re kind of like... the most socially awkward girl I’ve ever met. You’re sweet, I think, and mean well, probably, but I have the impression that social stuff’s not your forte. Meeting a stranger and telling them you’re there to extort money out of them while making it seem like you’re telling them that you’re helping them is like, way above your skill level.”

“That’s not what I’m doing,” Emily said.

“Sure it isn’t,” Sam said with the tone of someone who was just humouring someone else.

“Fine then,” Emily said. She gestured to Sam. “You’ll do the talking.”

“Me?” Sam asked.

“You’re my minion, aren’t you?”

Sam shrugged. “Alright.” She casually reached into her purse and pulled out a domino mask. She pushed her curly hair back to hook it onto her ears, then grinned at Emily. “How do I look.”

“Did you have that mask with you this whole time?” Emily asked.

“I don’t normally carry a mask around,” Sam said. “But I figured it might come in handy.”

“And you just had that laying around?” Emily asked.

Sam shook her head. “It’s a blindfold, for sleeping. I cut some holes into it.” She tugged at the edge of the eye mask to demonstrate.

Emily didn’t know if she should be impressed or disturbed. She settled on neither and gestured across the street. “We don’t want to be out in costume too much. Someone might see us. Then they’ll post it on some site, and the next thing you know we’ll be followed all over.” She shuddered at the thought of people asking her for autographs, or worse, asking any sort of probing question to her sisters.

Fortunately, finding a place to change wasn’t as tricky as convincing all of her sisters to look twice before crossing the road.

They took turns getting dressed behind a dumpster in a dead-end alley. That took longer than Emily would have wanted, but it was soon over and she looked onto five costumed-up sisters, proud that they’d all managed to get dressed without lighting a building on fire or mugging someone while her head was turned.

Trinity was dressed as the tiniest little bandit. Black and white striped shirt, and bags with big dollar signs and all. It was the most outright villainous of their costumes, but judging by how Sam couldn’t resist cooing at them, it came out as more... innocently roguish than intimidating.

If Emily planned on appearing like a hero, that would be important.

Athena’s costume was a little less thematic. She had her leather jacket on, and an owl-shaped face-mask. Otherwise, she might have been able to just blend into a crowd as another kid, or a short teenager. That could come in handy too.

Teddy’s costume wasn’t complicated either. A pale-yellow sundress, her slightly oversized boots, and a plastic bear mask. It was simple, but Emily thought it was cute. Besides, Teddy’s power turned her into a bear.

“Oh, all three of you are so cute!” Sam said. “Can I take a picture?”

“Uh,” Emily said.

“I won’t post it anywhere, I swear,” Sam said.

“Fine, I guess?” Emily said. “Just watch over them while I get changed too.”

Her own costume was... a little strange. A pinstripe suit, a clean button-up shirt, and a small tie. All that coupled with a domino mask and a black fedora. She looked like a gangster from the late 50s. Maybe it was too much of a hint at her power’s villainous nature, but it looked alright, and it was all she had.

If she ever started making proper money, she’d find a way to get better costumes. Though nothing like spandex. She couldn’t live with herself if someone saw her wearing something skintight.

Maybe some sort of armour? Very thick, very imposing armour that would keep her nice and safe so that she’d never have to meet people face-to-face while doing heroic things.

Emily returned to her sisters and minion while adjusting her hat. Sam looked up up and down, then gave her a thumb’s up. “Not bad. Got to say, your whole group has nailed the discount hero look.”

“Is that good?” Emily said.

“Well, considering that I suspect that you are operating under a tight budget, it’s pretty good, yeah,” Sam said. “It sends a message, you know? ‘We’re a group of masks who put some time and effort into our gear, but we’re still small-scale and probably not super scary yet.’”

“I guess that’s not the worst impression to give people,” Emily said.

Sam shrugged. “A lot of masks go out with normal clothes and like, a balaklava with swimming goggles on. It’s not a great look. Also, if I get a minion uniform, should I go all 50s gangster too? Not like you though, something obviously a rung or two below? Maybe slacks and suspenders?”

“Uh,” Emily said. “Let’s just go to the pizza place, please.”

“Yeah, I want some pizza,” Teddy said. “You guys haven’t had any yet, but it’s the third best thing.”

“What’s the first best thing?” Trinity asked.

“The first best thing is the Boss,” Teddy said with unwavering certainty. “The second best thing is the warmth you get from being with comrades—” Emily felt moved for a moment. “—And kicking the shit out of capitalists.” Just a moment.

They arrived at Azzip’s and Emily glanced at her sisters. “Athena, you’re with me. Teddy, stay in that alley there. Trinity, watch us near the entrance, and have one of you near the back end too.”

Her sisters scampered to obey, and Emily turned towards the shop again. She stared at it.

“So... you going to walk in or are we just going to stand out here all day?” Sam asked. “I didn’t say anything, but I have classes this evening.”

Emily shook her head. “We’re going in, I was just, ah, seeing if there was anything to notice.”

“Right,” Sam said.

Emily felt a hand grabbing hers, and she looked down to meet Athena’s smile. “It’ll be fine, Big Sis.”

She nodded. Failing on her own was one thing, failing after getting such an expectant look from her sister was another. Emily started towards the pizza place, and the others followed.

They stepped in to the jingle of a bell over the doorway. The place was empty save for a girl maybe a year or two Emily’s senior behind the counter. She looked up, saw the three with their masks on, then swore. “Uh, are you here to rob us?”

“No,” Emily said. “We’re, uh, heroes?”

“Oh,” the woman said, her shoulders loosened, tension bleeding out of her. “Then... did you want to try our daily special? It’s two subs for the price of one?”

“Not that either,” Emily said. She was glad she left Teddy outside. “We were hoping to talk to your boss? Or the owner?”

“Oh, right, I can do that,” the cashier said. She half-turned. “Rose! People for you! Heroes!”

Emily winced at the volume, but she didn’t comment. Soon enough an older woman showed up. She reminded Emily a bit of her mom, if her mom wore a hairnet and spent too much time around fatty foods.

She took in the room. “Hey there. Is this going to be one of those conversations best handled in private?” Emily nodded, so the woman flicked a thumb over her shoulder towards the back, past the fryers and all the cooking equipment. “Best follow me then.”

“Gladly,” Emily said.

Maybe things would work out in her favour after all.

***

Are You Entertained?

A few bits of news! 

First! I hit 2 million words on Royal Road! Woo! 

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Second, Selkie's started publishing a new story in the BtDM universe called Valkyrie's Dawn! You should check it out! The name's a link, of course. It's basically all the Iona chapters grouped together as a new story, with some added goodies for fun. Should be pretty fun if you like female protagonists with big muscles and yuri stuff.

Third, the February Discord... sale thing is still on! It's just 1$ to join the Discord this month, which means that for a buck you could argue with me about why Cat can't use Nukes on American soil and why Broccoli should definitely not kidnap yet another princess. 

 

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