5. Doubts & Decisions
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I finally woke up around ten in the morning, but I didn't get out of bed right away. I wound up laying there another half hour or so, just thinking about everything Lexi said.

As crazy and impossible as it all sounded, I was actually starting to believe her. The more I thought about the ten years we'd known each other, the more sense it made that I was best friends with a guy named Alex. And that somehow yesterday morning, Alex had become Alexis.

As far as I could remember she was always a girl, like I couldn't remember her being a guy. But all the stuff we did together, it all made more sense if she'd been a dude. It was so weird though to think that, because I could clearly picture her in my mind as always being Alexis, always being a girl. But acting, doing, saying, typical guy things.

And all that changed yesterday.

Like the clothes, the make-up, that was just part of it. She'd never done that thing where she bit her lower lip before, that started yesterday. And the hugs? The most physical contact we'd ever had before was punching each other in the arm or whatever. Like she looked the same as I remembered, but now she acted differently. She acted like Alexis, not Alex.

I'd actually noticed that yesterday morning in the cafeteria, long before she told me about the crazy stuff. I worried my tomboy friend Alex had been replaced by the hot girl Alexis.

And it's not even like I missed that other guy, whoever he was. I couldn't remember what he looked like, or what his voice sounded like. In my memories it was always Alexis there. She's the one I was best friends with for the past decade. She's the one I came out to last night. But at the same time it was weird to think that maybe she's only been a girl for one day.

It was about half past ten when I finally dragged myself out of bed and emerged from my room. I wasn't sure if Lexi was up yet, I hadn't heard her moving around. The guest-room door was open though and the bed empty, so she must have gotten up while I was still asleep.

Before I went looking for her, I visited the bathroom. It was time for my big daily dose of dysphoria.

After using the toilet I washed my hands then braced myself. One of the few things I hated worse than having to shave was not shaving and dealing with whiskers. Hair caused me so much stress. Not enough on my head, too much everywhere else.

My mom wouldn't let me grow my hair long. She had a lot of unkind things to say about guys with long hair. About the only nice thing I could say about my hair was it was sort of blonde. Like a dirty blonde. And I was kind of lucky that my facial hair never really came in fully. It was kind of patchy and sparse. Still, it was more than enough to trigger my dysphoria so I always shaved.

Once the task was done I made my way downstairs. I found Lexi back in the den, on the sofa.

The sight froze me in my tracks and I stood there staring again. She used to wear the same sort of thing to bed as me. Baggy track pants and an old t-shirt. Or maybe that's what Alex always wore and I was just remembering Alexis did that too? Right now she was wearing a navy blue nightshirt, and possibly nothing else.

She was curled up in the corner of the sofa, holding a glass of cola in her hand. She looked so small, so vulnerable, and so beautiful. Her long brown hair was messy from sleep. Some of it was hanging in front of her face, but instead of being a dopey bed-head like I had, it just made her look cuter.

Once again I was hit with that mix of jealousy and attraction.

She gave me a sleepy smile, "Hey Chloe. Good morning."

I blinked a few times then smiled back "G'morning Alexis. Are you warm enough like that? You want a blanket or something?"

Her long shapely legs were exposed, and I was sure I'd never seen them in the flesh before. They were gorgeous.

"Nah I'm fine." She had a sip of cola then admitted "I didn't sleep so good last night. How about you?"

I sighed as I sat down on the opposite end of the sofa. "Took a while to get to sleep, then I had some weird dreams I guess. Do you know why you didn't sleep? Do you want to talk about it?"

Alexis shrugged, "It's ok. Weird dreams, crazy thoughts."

She bit her lip as she hesitated, then admitted "I just feel more and more positive that I'm right? That I must have been a guy up till when I woke up yesterday morning. I still don't remember being a guy, but like, circumstantial evidence or whatever? It keeps adding up in my head."

"Yeah," I sighed. "I was thinking about that too. And I guess I'm starting to believe it as well. I don't remember you ever being a dude either, but everything else kind of fits."

She drank the last of her soda then set the glass down. She said softly, "I was trying to figure out... I was wondering if maybe I was trans too? Like maybe I wanted this? But I can't remember. And that makes me wonder... If I can't remember what it was like to be him, maybe... Maybe I'm not him. Maybe I'm someone else who replaced him. And if that's true then who really am I? It's like... Like I'm not even a real person. I'm just something fake or artificial..."

Her voice was starting to break and I realized she was fighting back tears. Without thinking what I was doing, I moved closer and pulled her into a hug.

"Hey, Lexi. You're real. You're here and you're real and you're my best friend." I tried to be as gentle and soothing as I could. I didn't have any real answers for her, but it sounded like she was having some kind of existential crisis or something and I really wanted her to be ok. I wanted to help her.

I felt her slender arms wrap around me and she held me tightly. Then I felt her shake slightly and I realized she was crying. She tried to keep quiet but a few seconds later I heard her sobs and it broke my heart. I was sure I'd never heard her cry before. Alex had always been stoic, she always kept her feelings bottled up tight in the past.

I kept my arms around her, I tried to soothe and console her. It took a little while but she finally calmed down. We held each other for another minute or two, till eventually she pulled back.

"Sorry Chloe," she sounded embarrassed as she rubbed her eyes.

I shook my head slightly and gave her a sad smile, "It's ok Alexis. There's nothing to be sorry for. I just wish I could help more, I wish there was something I could do for you."

She blushed and repeated what I'd told her last night. "There is, Chloe. And you're already doing it. Thanks."

We sat together quietly for a few more minutes, then she stood up and stretched. My brain may have broken for a few moments as I was almost overwhelmed by how amazing she looked. She was barefoot, her legs were bare, the only things she had on were the nightshirt and a pair of black panties. Which I saw when she stretched her arms up far enough to lift the hem of her nightshirt to a slightly indecent position.

I blushed and looked away, but once again I felt that mix of jealousy and attraction.

"Do you feel like breakfast?" she asked. "I was thinking about warming up the leftovers from last night."

"Yeah," I nodded. "That sounds good actually."

The microwave would have been quicker but neither of us liked how it made everything mushy, so we spread out the remaining wings and potato wedges on a baking sheet and put them in the oven. Then while it was warming up we both went back upstairs to get dressed.

I dressed like usual of course. Loose dark grey t-shirt, baggy black pants, sneakers. I emerged from my room in time to meet Lexi and yet again it was hard not to stare.

She was wearing a pair of tight leggings with a black and red pattern that may have been abstract flowers or something. And some kind of top that was mid-way between being a large t-shirt and a short dress. It was black, with short sleeves and it came down to her thighs. It looked super comfortable though. She was still barefoot for now.

She hadn't done anything with her hair yet, apart from pulling it back out of her face. It was still messy but it made her look fun, care-free.

We stood there at the top of the stairs for a few moments, just staring at each other. We were both blushing slightly.

Alexis spoke first, "Um... I don't think I'm going to be dressing like I used to. Not anymore. I'm just a lot more comfortable being..."

Her voice trailed off as she searched for the right words. Finally she shrugged "I'm more comfortable being me. This is who I am now."

She sounded embarrassed, almost apologetic. Like she was worried I'd be upset she wasn't going to be a tomboy anymore.

"It's ok Lexi," I gave her a friendly smile. "You look fantastic, but that's besides the point. The main thing is you're comfortable and you're happy. So I'm happy for you."

She pulled me into another hug, before we both finally headed back downstairs to the kitchen.

Breakfast was pretty good, the wings and wedges were ok reheated and we both washed it down with more soda. We ate at the kitchen table rather than going back into the den. And of course we talked more as we ate.

"So what are we going to do next?" I asked.

Alexis frowned as she munched on a wedge. "Ok, well I guess there's a couple things we could focus on. We could finish that game we started yesterday. We could try and figure out how all of reality got changed and I turned into a girl. And we can do some fun stuff for you, like mess around with clothes and make-up and stuff."

I blushed at the third option. It sounded exciting but I wasn't sure I was ready for that yet.

"Um... Ok this might sound stupid but how about we try the game for a while? It might help us both relax and unwind some. Like, shit's been pretty intense since last night."

"Ok Chloe," Lexi smiled. "You're right, it might help for us both to get our minds off the hard stuff for a while."

After breakfast I tidied up and rinsed the dishes then stuffed them in the dishwasher. Then me and Lexi went back to the den. She refilled our glasses and opened another bag of chips incase we felt snacky while I got the old console set up again.

These old games were kind of funky with how they handled saves. The console didn't have any memory, so you had to use a proprietary memory cartridge and they were sometimes flakey. We were in luck though. We'd remembered to save our progress before shutting it off last night, and the cartridge didn't crap out on us so we were able to pick up where we left off.

The two of us settled in on the sofa, and for now we both just focused on the game.

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