The man turns around and…ah. That explains the lack of reaction. A pair of very sharp ears stick out of his shaggy dark hair. So, he’s an elf. Or maybe not? His ears kind of droop at the end and I’ve never seen another elf like that. That pale skin with a green undertone is very suggestive though.

For Howie’s part, he isn’t thrilled to see us. Especially Kierra. He looks scared of her, which I wouldn’t be surprised by if we hadn’t just met.

“You—”

His exclamation is cut off as Kierra reaches over the bar, wrapping her hand in his shirt and dragging him forward.

“Hey!?” The barmaid jumps to her feet, eyes blazing. Oh ho, she’s a caster. One confident enough to start casting in this kind of scenario. Security disguised as the help?

Not that it matters. Geneva steps in front of her, all smiles. She won’t make the first move, since I’ve ordered her not to start unnecessary trouble or to attack people without provocation, but if that girl lets out even a spark of a spell, she won’t know when she dies.

“Miss Kierra,” Maxine says quickly, trying to hide the panic in her voice. “I don’t know how he has offended you but—”

“Relax, Max. I’m not angry at him. You can calm down as well. I’m from the Violet Dusk province.”

Howie, who had been struggling in her grip, stops trying to pry off her hand but scowls. “Damn battle junkie animals!” Hey, I’m not the only one who thinks she’s nuts. But you don’t get to say that. Lucky man. I still want that drink. If it’s not good enough to meet my expectations, he’s going to pay for that comment. “I’ve got no problem with you so let me go!”

“You’re right. We don’t have any problems. I’ll let you go in a moment.” She raises her other hand and places her fingertips on Howie’s cheek. They start to glow with her magic, though the usual green is replaced by a sunny yellow.

“Let me go now!”

“I would, but your kind is known for scurrying off at the slightest opportunity. And no one sits still while I look at them for some reason.” After a few moments, the glow on her fingers dissipates and she releases him. Howie stumbles, just barely keeping himself from hitting his shelves. “Underhill. How rare to see one of you out and about.”

“What’s it to you?” he bit out, straightening his wrinkle-free apron. Seeing her employer unharmed, the barmaid relaxes. Interestingly, the lone customer at the end of the bar doesn’t even flinch at the commotion, the large hood of a cloak obscuring their face as they lean over a large clay mug.

Now should be a good time to ask questions, right? Right. “Kii.”

“Ah, yes. Remember when I told you that the elves of the Twilight Province seek strength through the mixture of bloodlines? Clan Underhill is one of such. They focus on interbreeding with goblinoids.”

An elf and a goblin? I give the barkeep a searching look. Just, ugh. Having a hard time imagining that. And isn’t he too tall? Goblins are basically little green children with the wrinkly features of old men. Saints bless him, it’s a good thing he took more after his elven parent…

“You just thought something rude didn’t you, little brat.”

“Little brat? You’ve got an inch on me at best.” Looks like he got his manners from the goblin side. Really, is this how you treat paying customers? I should throw Bell at him. From the way the little imp is snarling, she’d make him eat those words.

“Hurry up and serve us something to drink,” I say, taking a seat. “That is why we came here, if people have forgotten.”

“Indeed. I am looking forward to it. The Twilight Province is known for their alchemists and poison masters. This should be quite interesting.”

Eh? Poison?

It’s okay, me. There are three powerful physical affinity users around with a vested interest in keeping me alive. And who knows if poison will affect me.

“No way. I’m not serving you. Get out!”

“Howie—” Maxine starts in a soft tone, ready to bargain, but I cut her off but slamming my fist down on the bar.

That was a bit louder than I thought it would be. All eyes are on me now as I stare down the barkeep. “Listen to me, droopy ears. I understand we might have made you a little uncomfortable but friends forgive and forget a few minor transgressions.”

“We’re not friends!” he scoffs.

“Really? We’re not? That’d be very bad for you. Because I remember you insulting me and my wife. Now, I can handle a few jabs between friends but if some whiny, weasel of man who isn’t my friend said something like that about two people I care about, he’d probably get his jaw broken.”

He looks nervous. He should be. The only thing sparing him is the quality of the drink he serves us. If it’s subpar, I’ll be annoyed but that’s nothing compared to what I’ll do if he outright doesn’t serve us. I was looking forward to this all day and I won’t be denied because the little man had his feelings hurt.

What? I’m acting like an over-privileged noble?

Damn right! I am an over-privileged noble now, not one in name only, so I’m going to throw my weight around.

“Tch.” Howie seems to understand his position and doesn’t look at all happy about it. “Louise! Go get some crunchy bread from the back for the guests.”

The barmaid disappeared with a roll of her eyes, the glow in them disappearing as she lets go of her mana. Reaching beneath the bar, Howie pulls out a metal tray full of mugs, placing it to the side. “What’ll you be having?”

“Max, you can recommend something, right?”

“Herbernacle,” the merchant responds immediately.

“I keep telling you to quit calling it that,” Howie grumps as he sets four mugs out. I slap the table gently and point to Bell. The barkeeper reluctantly puts a mug in front of her, yanking his hand back as her tail swipes at him. “It’s called Shroom Sludge.”

“Shroom…Sludge?”

I give Maxine a look and she holds up her hands. “He has strange naming sense but his skills are top-notch, I guarantee it.”

“My naming sense isn’t weird, it’s accurate.” Howie grabs a large glass container from the shelves. An earthy scent mixed with something spicy tickles my nose as he pours bright pink liquid into each of our cups. “The stuff is made from toxic mushrooms from the Twilight Province.”

“The poison is neutralized in the brewing process. The Guiness Company markets it as Herbernacle, the main ingredient. It is completely safe.”

“If you can take your poison.”

The smile he shows us is mocking. You think a little poison is enough to scare us off?

Almost as if we plan it, my group all raise their mugs and chug down the drink. Oh, yeah. It doesn’t have the same impact as the elven brew. The taste is pleasantly bitter and leaves my tongue a little numb, but it feels like liquid fire is poured into my gut, flushing my body from head to toe.

“Whew!” I slam the mug down, feeling refreshed. “Not bad. Not bad at all!”

“…tolerable, though a little on the weak side.” Kierra makes sure to slam her mug down with the same intensity as me, making Howie wince. “What else is on those shelves?”

The succubi are more graceful putting down their cups but they also look expectant.

Howie sighs, shaking his head. “All of you Dusk elves are monsters.” He looks over at me. “And I expected as much from mind stealers but who are you? The hotel waters that stuff down but you drank it straight.”

Ha! Don’t underestimate me. “I’m married to her,” I say point a thumb at Kierra, “and the boss of those two. Take more than a few mushrooms to take me out.”

Coughing at the end of the bar ruins the moment. I look down at Maxine, face flush and holding a hand over her mouth. “Perhaps some water…”

With a snort, Howie grabs a bottle from the lowest shelf and mixes its contents into Maxine’s cup. “As for the rest of you monsters…” With a quick leap, he grabs a handle on the ceiling I didn’t notice until this moment and grabs a bottle from the top shelf, landing smoothly afterwards. “I’ll make sure you all pass out.”

I scoff. “Challenge accepted.”

Azazel_E

Underhill refers to the Twilight Province clan that breeds with goblinoids. All of their members take the Underhill name so our bartender is Howard Underhill. Howie to his friends.

And that concludes our chapter dump! (It was a lot)