One of the Stargate Exploration Teams, SG-10, was sent to a planet designated as P3W-451 to investigate the sudden extinction of the indigenous life. To their horror, they found out what had happened and tried to dial home. It didn't work.

Back at Stargate Command, Captain Samantha Carter had been talking to Colonel Jack O'Neill about the nature of wormholes when the buzzer for an incoming signal ran through the base. It was an odd one and the computer didn't recognize it. Thanks to Samantha's recent talk, she knew that the signal wavelength had been stretched out through the wormhole.

The computer technician adjusted the signal to fit into the normal parameters and they realized it was SG-10's recall code to return home. The problem was, the wormhole had only remained open for a few seconds and then shut down. Jack immediately requested a rescue mission and was denied by General Hammond, whom requested a MALP, or Mobile Analytic Laboratory Probe, be sent through instead to assess the threat.

Jack agreed and one was sent through almost immediately. When it reaches there, the images it sends back don't make sense. Everything is displayed in infrared. After some postulation, Samantha realizes it's the same problem with the signal from the team and instructs the computer tech to alter the image's wavelength to match. The SG-10 team could be clearly seen panicking.

“I want you to run the last few minutes through that process and we'll see what's actually going on.” General Hammond ordered the computer tech.

“Sir, I just did. You saw it all.” The computer tech said. “We've only received 11 images in the last six minutes.”

“That's less than half a second!” Samantha exclaimed, her face showing surprise and a little worry.

“Perhaps a malfunction?” Teal'C asked.

“No, that image tells us that team is in trouble. General, I request an immediate EVAC for SG-10.” Jack said.

“Negative, Sir.” Samantha said.

“What do you mean negative, Captain?” Jack asked, almost angrily.

“I'm sorry, Colonel. With all due respect, if I'm right, then there's nothing we can do for them.” Samantha said. “If we're lucky, the MALP's camera might still respond to commands.” She looked at the computer tech. “See if you can get the camera to tilt up and give us a wider angle.”

The man nodded and started typing in the commands.

“Sirs, I think I know what Major Boyd and his team are so afraid of.” Samantha said as the image on the screen resolved itself.

Everyone stared at the dark spot that could be clearly seen in the blue sky above the SG-10 team.

“What am I looking at?” General Hammond asked.

“That is a black hole, sir.” Jack said with awe and a bit of fear in his voice.

“A newly formed one, too.” Samantha said. “It looks like one of the binary stars must have collapsed and became a black hole. Since the planet was orbiting the companion star, the orbit is probably bringing them closer to it.”

“Why don't they gate out?” Hammond asked.

“They're trying sir. According to them, only a few seconds have passed. The closer you are to a black hole...” Samantha paused.

“...the slower time gets. Relatively speaking.” Jack finished for her.

“What's going to happen to them?” General Hammond asked.

“Well, sir. The time dilation is because of the intense gravitational forces, which is directly proportional to their proximity...”

“Captain!” General Hammond said and interrupted her. “In English, please.”

“Spaghettification.” Samantha said. “Their bodies will be pulled apart by the increasing tidal forces.”

The room fell silent at her words and Colonel Jack O'Neill dropped his head in resignation.

“Is there nothing we can do for them?” General Hammond asked.

“They've had it, sir.” Jack said. “The looks on their faces tells us that.”

General Hammond sighs. “Shut it down.”

“Sir, by some fluke of Stargate technology, we're witnessing something that physics itself says can't be witnessed.” Samantha said.

“Captain, we're watching good men die in slow motion.” Jack said, pointedly.

Samantha had the grace to look embarrassed. “You're right, sir. I'm sorry.”

Jack nodded and General Hammond looked at the computer tech again. “Do it.”

The man typed for several moments, then looked concerned. After another try, he looked at the general. “It's not responding, sir. The Stargate won't disengage.”

Jack looked out at the thing that was going to cause them a lot of trouble and cursed in his head.

“Options, people.” General Hammond said.

“Empty the capacitors, cut the breakers, then sever main power. In that order.” Samantha said. “Each has a chance to end this and each is a lot more dangerous than the last.”

“It wasn't meant to be done that way and the safeties aren't designed to work backwards.” The computer tech said.

“Well, that's just great.” Jack said and looked at everyone's faces. “Let's get this done.”

*

Half an hour later, all three dangerous attempts had been completed, with Teal'C and the computer tech being injured. With the main power actually cut off, Samantha postulated that the Stargate was somehow getting power from the other end, because the time was moving so much slower there and they had passed the Stargate's automatic cut-off time.

After a few more discussions and people arriving at the base hours later when they had left minutes ago, they all realized that the time distortion was spreading out farther than the gravity field coming through the gate, which was steadily increasing.

General Hammond, with no other option than to detonate the facility, ordered the evacuation and they all left Cheyenne Mountain and left Colonel O'Neill and a man named Cromwell to set the detonation time to five minutes, not realizing that would be over six hours outside the time dilation. Hammond, the president, and the joint chiefs had already met with the best physicists on the planet and their choice to blow it up was all they could come up with.

Samantha had a similar and a much better idea. She explained that with a high enough energy surge, an explosion, they could duplicate what happened when she and Jack had been sent to Antarctica to the second gate.

“If we use the same theory, the other end of the gate originating from here, will jump from the black hole gate to some other gate along the same path. Then we can just shut it down normally.” Samantha said. “We need to tell Colonel O'Neill to not set the self-destruct and get someone to make that directed explosion bomb.”

*

A short time later, according to Jack and Cromwell, Samantha showed up and filled them in on the revised plan. Just as she finished and he asked when they would be delivering the bomb, she barely glanced at her watch when Teal'C walked into the room with the thing.

For some reason, Cromwell didn't think that Jack could handle it on his own. The two men repelled down on ropes to hover three quarters of the way to the Stargate with the directed bomb on a third rope. The gravity increased and another window shattered in the control center, splattering over the two men and weakening one of their ropes.

“Okay, this is close enough!” Jack shouted, small bloody cuts on his arms. “Set the timer! 20 seconds!”

Cromwell reached for the thing and punched the buttons, then his rope snapped and he started to fall. Jack grabbed him and tried to hold him. Cromwell shook his head slightly and then let go. They both knew that the rope couldn't hold the both of them under the current heavy force of gravity.

Jack watched the man disappear into the swirling vortex of the Stargate and then set the timer himself and turned the key. He started to climb to get far enough away from the blast to hopefully survive it. He climbed about halfway up the rope before the bomb started to explode.

Samantha and Teal'C in the control center could see it all in slow motion and see Jack's worried face, because he didn't think he was far enough away. The bomb's blast expanded and went forward, right to where it was supposed to go. It was still one heck of a blast, so she had to shield her eyes from it. She heard the whine of the computer tracker as it gained new telemetry from the relocated wormhole.

Samantha ignored the sound of the explosion's echo and hit the cancel connection command. The whoosh of the Stargate disengaging was music to her ears, until she heard someone shouting. She also realized that she couldn't see Jack anymore and it was a twenty foot fall to the concrete floor below. She hadn't noticed that something else had come out of the explosion.

*

“John! JOHN! Wake up!” Gloria's voice shouted in my ear.

“Uhhh.” I groaned and opened my eyes. “Hey, my eyes work this time, too.”

“You need to fix your feet before anyone else shows up.” Gloria said.

“Anyone else?” I asked and turned my head to the side. “He looks hurt.” I said and cast several diagnostic spells on myself and on him. “I'm missing my feet from the ankle down and he has a concussion and three broken limbs. Both legs and an arm.”

I formed four needles beside the man and used magic to levitate them and inject him in the right spots. One at each break and one behind his ear for the concussion.

“Helping others shouldn't come before yourself, John.” Gloria whispered.

“I'm sorry, I can't help it.” I said and tried to feel for the Force. It was a lot stronger here and I knew why. We were deep underground and a lot closer to the core of the planet than we would have been on the surface. You wouldn't think that would make a difference; but, it does on worlds where the Force wasn't a fundamental element of nature. I formed six needles and injected three each into my ankles.

The heavy security door across the room started to open, so I cast an illusion over Gloria to make her look like a really big backpack.

“Stay quiet, sweetie.” I whispered and she kissed my ear.

“Colonel! Colonel!” A pretty woman with short blonde hair said as she ran into the room with a tall and bald black man behind her. She dropped to the floor beside the man and checked for a pulse. “He's still alive.”

“General Hammond will be pleased.” The black man said in an almost robotic voice.

The woman chuckled. “We all are, Teal'C.”

I sucked in a sharp breath at the name. No! No no no! This is the very worst place for Gloria! The absolute worst! I thought in a panic and then realized my gasp had gotten their attention. Oh, Damn!

Teal'C straightened up and marched over to me. He kind of took a stance as if he had a weapon and he didn't have one, so it looked a little foolish. “Who are you and how did you get in here?”

“I request immediate sanctuary and political asylum. I want an ambassador to be assigned and I require being sequestered in a sealed room that no one else can enter. Preferably with an anti-room for meetings. If not, I'll make one in whatever room I'm given.” I said.

Samantha Carter looked over at me with surprise on her face.

“Your feet appear to be damaged.” Teal'C said.

“I was lucky this time. It usually happens over a lot more of my body when I travel.” I said and Samantha's eyes widened.

“I will notify a medic as soon as...” Teal'C started to say.

“That won't be necessary. They'll be grown back in another twelve minutes.” I said and Samantha gasped. I was tempted to say something else to shock her, just to hear that sound again. “Please fulfill my request. I can wait here.”

Teal'C gave me a raised eyebrow and I smiled.

“It's not like I'll be getting up and going anywhere before my feet are back to normal.”

“This is true.” Teal'C said and glanced over me. “I do not see any weapons.”

“I don't wear any when travelling.” I said. “I also don't have anything in my backpack.”

“What do you have in such a large pack?” Samantha asked.

“Something that's more precious to me than money, gold, or other people.” I said and I felt Gloria's lips on the back of my neck. “It's covered under asylum rules and you will not search it.”

Teal'C looked slightly affronted.

“Teal'C, he's right. Even if he was carrying a bomb, we can't legally search him until an ambassador is assigned and asks politely.”

“I can honestly tell you that I am not hiding anything in my socks.” I admitted.

Gloria's muffled giggle came from behind me and Samantha smiled before she caught herself and gave me a stern look.

“Your Colonel is going to be fine, so you can stop worrying about him.” I said and both Teal'C and Samantha stiffened slightly. “I can't say what happened until I'm sequestered and get oaths of secrecy.”

Samantha sighed. “All right. It might be a while. The base has been evacuated and...”

“I told you that I wasn't going anywhere.” I said. “You can have the big guy guard me the entire time if you want. Or you can leave and lock the only exit. It's not like I have the key for it or anything.”

“Teal'C, let's get the Colonel to the infirmary and let the others know we're all clear down here.” Samantha said and Teal'C went back over to her and hefted Colonel O'Neill up and carried him out.

The door shut behind them and I concentrated on the Force to locate the cameras and microphones to crush them in the same pattern as the explosion should have.

“John, what are you doing?” Gloria asked.

“Taking out the cameras and microphones in here.” I said.

“That's not what I meant.” Gloria said. “Have you been here before?”

“No, this is my first time visiting. Unfortunately, I've seen records of this universe, or a similar one.” I said and held a hand up to pet the backpack. “This is one of the worst places for you to be.”

“Explain.” Gloria said and I nodded. I cast a silence spell around us, so no one coming in would hear us talking. I also discreetly created a security device and it beeped happily as it worked. Two guards entered the room, with automatic weapons, and stood beside the door as it closed again.

For the next hour and a half or so, I told her what I knew about the Stargate Program and SG-1. Not only was Gloria not impressed with the SG teams stumbling all over the galaxy and causing more mayhem than they helped, she fully agreed with my opinion of the danger for both her and humanity as a whole.

Someone that had a problem touching things and gaining anywhere from ten to a hundred images from them, should not be near archaeological artifacts that were hundreds or even thousands of years old. That was just an aneurysm waiting to happen and Gloria was as anxious as I was for a secluded room.

General Hammond walked into the room with Dr. Fraiser and Samantha Carter beside him. “I believe you've submitted a formal request to Captain Carter for sanctuary and political asylum.”

“I have, General Hammond.” I said and the three of them slightly reacted and then kept their composure. “Will you be granting it with my conditions?”

“Will you willingly answer the questions we have?” General Hammond asked.

“Who are you selecting as an ambassador?” I asked and looked at the two women with him.

“I was going to send for one from the pentagon.” General Hammond said.

“No, you weren't.” I said and he looked surprised. “If you were, you would have done that already and not made me wait here under guard for nearly two hours to tell me you didn't already have someone.”

General Hammond had a brief look of frustration on his face before he spoke. “I want to assign Captain Carter to you and have Dr. Fraiser examine you.”

I wiggled my toes and kicked my feet up, because I was laying on my belly. “I assume you're going to want blood samples and other things to try and verify what I am.”

“That would be beneficial to our investigation as to how you happen to arrive here.” General Hammond said.

“I'll agree, on the provision that the samples are destroyed right after being tested.” I said. “I don't want anyone making a clone of me or trying to engineer my blood and split it into plasma or something to make tons of it.”

“Is your blood that special?” Dr. Fraiser asked.

“It's not special at all. You won't believe that and will want to try and duplicate what you know happened, even if having my blood won't do it.” I said and wiggled my toes, then looked at the guards. “I haven't stayed here on the floor without socks and shoes for no reason, either.”

General Hammond and Samantha Carter nodded slightly. They knew I was intentionally not looking like a threat.

Dr. Fraiser had a skeptical look on her face. “I will have to do extensive testing to confirm that.”

“Yes, and you will do it within sight of me and not try to sneak any of my blood or samples away. If you try, you will remain frustrated about the absolute miracle right in front of you.”

Dr. Fraiser sighed. “Fine. I won't try to manipulate the samples.”

“Good.” I said and very slowly stood up. I reached into my pocket and pulled out a pair of socks. To their surprise, I carefully balanced on one foot and slipped one sock on, then balanced on that foot and put on the other sock.

“How did you do that?” Samantha asked.

“With my hands.” I said and wiggled my fingers at her. “Amazing things, fingers are.”

No one laughed except for the whispered one from my backpack.

“Tough crowd.” I said and pretended to pull a pair of sneakers from my backpack and slipped them on. “Since you have my ambassador selected already, you should have a nice secluded room for me to use that no one else can get into.” I said and Samantha glanced at General Hammond. “That was my biggest stipulation. If you refuse that, I have no reason to bother trying to be nice to you people and I'll just leave.”

“You cannot leave this base.” General Hammond said in his command voice.

“I believe you mean, please do not leave and prove me wrong, kind sir.” I responded.

General Hammond frowned at me. “You are an unknown entity that is trespassing on American soil. You won't be leaving here to potentially contaminate our world.”

“I already did that by saving Colonel O'Neill. He had three broken limbs and a concussion from the fall he suffered after saving the planet. I fixed them like I fixed my feet.” I said and Dr. Fraiser sucked in a sharp breath. “If anything, you owe me for lying about having my room ready.”

“Sir, I think storage area six would work well.” Samantha said, quite pointedly.

General Hammond looked thoughtful for a moment, then nodded. “Permission granted, Captain.”

Samantha looked at me. “Sir, if you would follow me. I'll take you to an appropriate room.”

“I'll ignore the armed escort, shall I?” I asked as I walked over to Samantha and the two guards stepped forward, almost threateningly. “Can I warn them that if they try anything, touch me or my backpack, or come within five feet of me, I'll take it as a personal insult and hurt them severely?”

The two guards looked angry, as did General Hammond.

“No? All right. I won't warn them.” I said and smiled. “You accepted my bid for asylum and sanctuary. Treat me appropriately, and we won't have a problem. Break your own rules, and I will make you all regret it.”

“You can't threaten us right after we offered you asylum.” Samantha said.

“I'm not threatening you. I'm warning you. I'm asking for asylum and protection. That includes any abuse from you and your people as well.” I said and they looked surprised. “Didn't you ever realize that was how it works?” I asked and they didn't respond. “I'm glad I'm the one to point that out. You could have made a huge mistake later with some alien species if you ignored your own laws.”

Samantha didn't say anything else and led us all from the room. She went first and Hammond and Fraiser went next. As soon as I entered the hallway, the two guards stepped right up behind me in flanking positions and had their guns poised to strike if I moved anywhere except forward.

I cast Strength on myself and formed metal elbow pads that the athletes on Naboo wore as I stopped walking and slammed my elbows backwards into the two men's faces. They let out screams of pain and dropped their weapons before they covered their faces with their hands to stop the bleeding from their partially crushed faces.

“I warned you.” I said and dissolved the elbow pads to remove the evidence as Samantha turned and pulled a pistol out from somewhere and pointed it at me.

“Oh, my god!” Dr. Fraiser exclaimed as she whirled around and dove for the closest man to check him. “His nose is broken and his cheek is cracked. I suspect his eye socket is as well.” She said in a calm voice, then she checked the other man. “Both cheeks and his nose is pulped.”

“You have assaulted soldiers under my command.” General Hammond said, angrily.

“They are idiots that didn't listen to me or respected my personal space.” I said with a firm voice. “Perhaps you will take my words seriously from now on, George.”

Samantha caught her breath.

“How do you know my name?” General Hammond asked.

“That's on a need to know basis.” I said, using one of the military's excuses against him. “So, shall we continue on, or will you let your ambassador shoot the man she's supposed to liaise with?”

General Hammond looked down at his two injured soldiers. “Heal them like you healed yourself.”

“No. If they had just stayed where I asked them to, they wouldn't have to suffer the consequences of their choices.”

“Captain, escort this man to the brig until I decide what to do with him.” General Hammond said.

I gave him a significant look and then smiled. “I'm glad I'm recording all of this, just so I have proof at the inquiry. That's assuming you have the balls to report this to your superiors, which I doubt.”

“For Pete's sake, stop making it worse.” Samantha whispered.

“You were leading me to a holding cell anyway.” I said and she looked surprised. “I'm not an idiot. There's no such thing as storage area six at the SGC.”

“How do you know that?”

“The same way I know your first name is Samantha, Colonel O'Neill's is Jack, Dr. Jackson's is Daniel, and Dr. Fraiser's is Janet.” I said and everyone stared at me, even the injured soldiers. I looked at General Hammond and then back at Samantha. “Well? Lead on. I doubt the general likes it when people don't follow his orders.”

Samantha sighed and lowered the gun.

“Captain.” General Hammond said.

“Sir, I doubt a gun would do much to him if he knows about us.” Samantha said and holstered it at the small of her back.

“You don't know that.” General Hammond said.

“I know your policy of asking questions first and shooting later. Or never.” I said and Samantha sighed.

“We need to stop at my lab to take samples.” Dr. Fraiser said and managed to glare at me while she also tended to the men I had injured.

“No, you can bring any equipment you need to my secured room. I won't do anything without being put in there first.”

“How are you going to monitor the tests if you stay in the room?” Dr. Fraiser asked.

“Why would I need to leave? You agreed to do them within my sight.” I said with a smile.

Dr. Fraiser opened her mouth to respond, then she muttered a curse under her breath.

“Such language from a lady! It's scandalous!” I gasped and Gloria laughed softly from my back.

“The holding cells are this way.” Samantha said and I followed her.

I wasn't surprised that General Hammond didn't follow.

“They are not very big.” Samantha warned me.

“I don't care. I want a secured room that no one but me can enter. Asylum rules state that you, as my ambassador to the SGC, have to provide it.” I said and she sighed again. “If you're worried about it, then find me somewhere else.”

“I can't. The general ordered you taken to the brig.” Samantha said and hit the elevator button. We stepped inside and she tried her best to not stare at me.

“I'm sorry, Samantha. I'm not looking for someone to date right now.” I said.

Samantha made a slight choking sound and then gave me a glare. “I was not thinking that!”

“You were trying to not check me out. I just assumed you don't have a lot of dating prospects while looting ancient civilizations and pissing off human colonies.”

Samantha continued to glare at me. “We are not looting!”

“Are you, or are you not, scouring the worlds that the Stargate connects to, looking for technology to benefit Earth and humanity?” I asked and she lost the glare. “I've had fun looting old things from wrecks and making a fortune from it.”

“We aren't looters.” Samantha whispered.

I chuckled. “Just so you know, I didn't keep any of it. I gave it back to the various governments that owned it.”

Samantha looked back at me then. “You gave it all away?”

“Sure. I didn't really need it. It sure was fun teasing foreign countries with donations of their own property and then asking what they could show me if I returned it.”

“But, you were returning it anyway.” Samantha said as the elevator doors opened.

“They didn't know that.” I said and she gave me an odd look, then led me down the hall of barred cells and stopped at the last one. “You're kidding, right? It has an entire full length wall of metal bars that anything can pass through! How the hell is this a secured room like I wanted?”

Samantha sighed. “Please don't escape or make a scene. I'll try to speak to General Hammond to get you moved.”

“Don't try.” I said and stepped into the cell. “Do it and do it immediately. You can also tell Dr. Fraiser to delay my tests until I am in the actual secured room that I asked for.” I looked around at the dark and dingy cell. “The room had better be clean and well maintained or I will walk right out of the SGC and no one will stop me.”

“I'll go talk to him.” Samantha said.

“You have ten minutes before I take matters into my own hands. I will not stand here and risk what's precious to me any longer. I've let it go this long and I won't allow it to go on any longer.”

“The bed is actually comfortable and the chairs...”

“I am standing right here in this spot until you return or the ten minutes is up. Either way, I am leaving this open area and finding somewhere that I can make secure for my essential needs.” I said. “I suggest you hurry, because I have almost no patience left.”

“Your attitude isn't helping you.” Samantha said.

“Your responses to my simple requests are frustrating me to no end. Making me wait almost two hours to talk to the general? Lying about my ambassador, leading me here and not to the room I asked for? How in the world is MY attitude hindering YOUR efforts to not give me what I NEED?”

Samantha winced at each of my yelled words.

“You have nine minutes.” I said and she turned and jogged for the elevator. “Also, no cameras! I'll destroy any that are present! You are violating my privacy!”

Samantha let out a curse as the elevator doors closed.

I felt out with the Force and waved my hand as I crushed every camera and microphone in the area.

“You really busted their balls, John.” Gloria said.

“I wanted to go easy on them, considering what just happened and us just showing up. The general's posturing after making us wait so long and then trying to lead me on? That just pissed me off.”

Gloria kissed my ear. “Thank you for trying to keep me out of the dangerous areas.”

“It's not quite working, is it?” I asked and looked around. “Why wouldn't they at least put up some decent paint or something? Dark concrete in an underground structure is not a good choice, even for a cell. It would be much easier to have a bright cell to observe.”

“Yeah, the shadows in the corners are thick enough to hide in.” Gloria commented and then laughed softly. “Please tell me you're going to transfigure the cell bars into foil wrapped chocolate!”

“I was thinking licorice or gummy worms, actually.”

“Ooo, gummy worms! Do those! I love the multiple colors!”

I chuckled and created a big bag of them for her.

“I love you!” Gloria said and grabbed them, then started to shove a huge handful into her mouth. “Show goosh!”

I laughed, because if I had left the cameras intact, the monitors would be showing my backpack chomping down on a bag of gummy worms. I wouldn't try to explain it, because that would be funny.

The time hit the ten minute mark and I permanently transfigured the bars into gummy worms before I pushed the stretchy things apart. I walked down the hallway and at Gloria's prompting, changed all of the cell bars. I didn't bother with the elevator, because they could lock it down with me inside. I checked the stairwell door and it was locked.

I broke it and entered the stairwell, felt out with the Force, and decided to not crush all of the cameras. I slowly walked up the stairs, not in any rush, because I wanted to make a point. I said I would walk right out and I was going to. I reached out with the Force again and checked each door on the floor above me and locked it and snapped the handle mechanisms.

I did that until I reached the main floor that led to the exit of the mountain. I was tempted to go right up the stairs to the observation point at the top of the base and fly away, just to shock them, and changed my mind. I said I would walk out and I would walk out. I felt out with the Force and there was a squad of men with automatic rifles waiting for me with General Hammond and Samantha Carter.

“At least she convinced him I was serious about leaving.” I said and used the Force to eject every bullet cartridge from every gun, then opened the door. “Greetings, sheeple.”

“Please, stop!” Samantha pleaded.

The men scrambled to rearm their weapons, not realizing that I had already transfigured them slightly.

“I almost had him convinced to move you.” Samantha said.

“You didn't. It wasn't until someone reported that I was in the stairwell that he decided what to do.” I said and she sighed at being caught in the lie. “That's why I left the cameras. It's proof that I'm going to do as I said. I'm leaving.”

“I can't allow that.” General Hammond said and looked at the squad of men in front of him that still hadn't rearmed themselves. “Hurry up and get them loaded.”

“Sir, I don't know how it happened. The clips don't fit anymore.” One of the men said and held up the different shaped clip and showed him the pieces wouldn't fit together.

“That's not possible.” Samantha said.

“Neither is having someone appear inside a locked room after an explosion.” I said. “Any other observations I can debunk for you?”

“You can't be allowed to leave. The diseases you could be carrying could devastate the planet.” Samantha said.

I laughed. “If that was true, wouldn't you all here be carriers already? You will all need to sequester yourselves for the rest of your lives, because you can never find out if the medical technology you have on this planet can even detect what I'm carrying, if I am carrying something! Ha hahaha!”

“Men! Form a line and prepare to fight in hand-to-hand!” General Hammond ordered.

The soldiers dropped their guns and took fighting stances.

“Really?” I asked and pretended to pull a Droid Soldier blaster from my backpack.

Samantha gasped. “That's a particle weapon!”

“How very observant of you, Captain.” I said and changed it to stun. “I still can't date you, though.”

“You can't kill us before we take you down!” One of the soldiers shouted.

“Go ahead and rush me! Let's see who will be the first to fall from my might!” I shouted back.

“General?” The soldier asked.

“Do it.” General Hammond said and all eight soldiers tried to run forward and they all teetered on their feet and didn't move. “What is it?”

“We're stuck!” One of them said and tried to pull his feet from the floor.

“This is just like shooting swamp rats in a trench.” I said and took aim at the first soldier. “Goodnight.”

The man started to yell and then dropped to the floor awkwardly with his feet still stuck with a sticking charm. I shot the next and the next, until the eight of them were on the floor.

“You will spend the rest of your life in jail for that.” General Hammond said.

“For what?” I asked and aimed at him.

“Killing American Soldiers on American soil. The entire country will be looking for you.”

I laughed. “You're an idiot. They aren't dead. I only stunned them.”

General Hammond's eyes widened and looked at the men at his feet. Their heaving chests could be easily seen. “You will still be hunted down as a fugitive.”

“From what? A secret organization that most of the world thinks is a fairy tale? I don't think so.”

“Please, don't shoot.” Samantha said. “We can work this out, I know we can.”

“No, you just see this new weapon as an essential tool to get at all costs. As soon as I hand it over and you figure out how to recreate it, I'm no longer useful to you.”

“That's not true! I'm sure that we can come to an agreement!”

“Really? Go ahead, then.” I said and lowered the weapon. “What possible agreement could you come up with that I would ever trust you to keep?” I waved at the men on the floor. “You granted me asylum and sanctuary and then ignored everything I asked for. So, what deal do you propose now? I go back to a holding cell and hand over any tech I have? Then what?”

Samantha went quiet.

“You said you could work things out between us. You're my ambassador to the SGC. Come on, tell me how you can fix all of the SGC's mistakes. Tell me how I could ever trust anything that came out of your mouth if your boss, who is right there and trying to figure out how to subdue me, continues to refuse to acknowledge anything you promise me?”

Samantha looked into my eyes and sighed. “I... I guess... I can't.”

I pretended to slip the gun into my backpack as I dissolved it. “That's right. You can't.” I said and walked forward. “It's also no surprise that apologizing to me for the mistakes had never crossed your mind, just because I'm not from here. Isn't that funny?”

“No. It's not funny.” Samantha said and seemed to tense, as if to strike at me.

I raised my eyebrows at her and then General Hammond moved to attack. I slammed the back of my fist into his gut, right on his diaphragm, and the older man lost his breath and doubled over.

“I'll fix that in thirty seconds if you don't recover.” I said to him and looked at Samantha. “Nice distraction, by the way. If you hadn't stiffened at the last second, I might not have chosen to be nice about where I punched the old man.”

Samantha looked a little scared at my words.

“So, do you want to walk me out or do you want to call for some help?” I asked.

“It won't matter if I do call, will it?” Samantha asked. “With a weapon like that...”

I chuckled and reached down to tap the general's back. His wheezing evened out as I ended the negative effect and then I stunned him. He started snoring right away.

“Who needs a weapon?” I asked.

“You... you... how...”

“You're going to keep asking yourself that for the rest of your life.” I said and walked down the hallway. “By the way, as soon as I'm outside, I'm sending the videos of this event to the President and the joint chiefs. I sincerely doubt that there won't be repercussions.”

“Oh, no.” Samantha whispered as she looked down at General Hammond.

“I wonder what the next general taking over is going to be like?” I asked and went through the door at the end of the hall.

*

“It's almost exactly the same.” I said from my rocking chair and looked out over the field in front of the replaced farmhouse. The place had been abandoned for nearly a decade and I had bought it from the bank for pennies on the dollar for what it was actually worth. I immediately took out a huge mortgage on it and the bank manager laughed at me, agreed to the ridiculous terms, and we signed all the papers.

I then bought the surrounding farms that were also for sale and the man kept laughing, probably because he was offloading useless properties and making a lot of money for the bank. A thirty year loan at their highest interest rate was just a bonus for him.

I now owned more than I had back in Smallville and I was going to convert every bit of it.

“You're really great for doing this.” Gloria said and hugged me from behind.

“I promised a long time ago to do what I could for you.” I said. “I'll need to wait for a few years before I can make you more colorless lands to control.”

“Who knew that parking lots could be used for that?” Gloria asked and kissed my ear. “I'm going to make some elves. Can you make a forest behind the house? You know they prefer that to open areas.”

“I'll make two and you can get another elf.” I said and she smiled warmly at me. “You're still hoping for that squirrel?”

“I need that cuteness, John! I really, really do!”

I barked a laugh. “All right, let's check the security panel. If it can't get a good signal, I'll put up a few satellites and we can search for what forests that squirrels populate the most.”

“That's a great idea! You can claim one and then create one for me!”

“Just one? How many elves did you have in your army last time?” I asked and she laughed.

“They still give me extra magic, even though I left them behind.”

“That's kind of the point. They are like a reserve pool and you will never be out of magic as long as you own lands somewhere.” I explained. “You're still heavily focused on the green, though.”

Gloria smirked at me. “That's probably because I'm not insane enough to go to one of the world's longest mountain ranges to gather a few mountains.”

I laughed. “I was in a coma for six years!”

Gloria laughed, too.

*

The SGC shut down for six months during the investigation. When a 'visitor' to the planet sends video footage to the president directly, proving his claim of asking for political asylum and sanctuary from an American military facility and doesn't receive it despite those in charge agreeing, it caused a huge incident. Things like that were not done internally. The review committee and the joint chiefs were not happy.

Using copies of the SGC's own camera footage, the visitor's footage was corroborated and validated. Captain Carter's vehement arguing for the visitor's requests to be met immediately or he would leave, gave them all of the proof they needed to step in and adjust things at the SGC like they had wanted from the beginning. They also read over the visitor's report and fully agreed with the man's observations.

More strict training for the SG teams to handle hostile aliens, diplomatic discussions, and human colony contact was to be implemented. An assigned group of actual diplomats for the base, to be trained as a non-combatant team members. Stricter guidelines for acquiring and containing useful technology without just grabbing things and hoping for the best.

They were all great ideas and were adapted immediately. General Hammond was reassigned and a new general, General Henry 'Hank' Landrey, was put in charge and given the new rules and regulations. He also agreed with them and even insisted on a permanent government liaison for the base and a token ambassador for anyone else that may appear in the base.

He also convinced them that one doctor for the entire base and all those people, was not sufficient, and convinced them to hire an assistant doctor, Carolyn Lam. She refused at first, because she wasn't on good terms with her father and suspected he was trying to buy his way back into her life, until she was read into the program for the SGC and realized that he was right. She was needed and it was also a great opportunity.

She accepted the offer and was brought into the facility as an assistant. Dr. Fraiser was reluctant at first, then the two of them hit it off on their passion for their craft and quickly became close friends. The only real sticking point between them was the visitor. That whole situation hadn't been handled well. After reviewing the declassified footage, Carolyn agreed that tensions had been high and Janet couldn't really do much about it.

There was also one recommendation from the president that the joint chiefs and the oversight committee were in full support of. John Hansen would be brought in as a member of SG-1.

He would also be given a full pardon for any supposed crimes, a spoken and written apology, and provided his requested room that should have been granted after he had arrived. He would also not be questioned in depth or asked to hand over his stun weapon. The SGC had screwed that entire thing up and they would have a lot to make up for, before they could ask to look at the very versatile weapon.

*

I sat on my porch rocking chair in the early afternoon and stared out at the view, after doing my chores to get the farms reseeded after harvesting all those crops. I had hired twenty local people at a very high wage and they were eager to work the fields, especially with the farming equipment that was so easy to use. I could have fully automated it or adapted droids to do it; but, I knew the locals wanted to work.

A rental car drove down my driveway and I stopped rocking when I used the Force to touch the car and discreetly touched the occupants inside. I sighed and decided to wait for them to come to a stop before I did anything. I thought that I wasn't looking forward to this meeting until the driver's side door opened.

A very beautiful woman stepped out of the car and she wore an SGC uniform without rank. I recognized her, too. Dr. Carolyn Lam.

“No one warned me that there would be cake.” I said.

Carolyn blushed, completely getting the implication. “Good afternoon, Mr. Hansen.”

“Please, call me John. Mr. Hansen was my father.” I said and watched Samantha Carter get out of the passenger side of the car. “I never thought I would see you again.”

“Mr. Hansen, I really am sorry for how things turned out that day.” Samantha said.

I didn't say anything for about ten seconds and she started to look a little nervous. “What was it like to wait this long before finding out my name, instead of asking me about it when we met?”

Samantha took a breath and let it out. “That was an oversight that we have corrected.”

“It made me less relatable and easily dismissed, though.” I commented and saw Carolyn's head swivel as she looked around at the cleared fields.

“How did you buy property here when you are not from this planet?” Carolyn asked.

“Who said I wasn't from this planet?” I asked them and they both looked surprised. “We never did get to the debriefing part of my visit to the SGC the last time.”

“But... you were found in...” Samantha stopped herself before she said anything else.

“Rather than how I can own land, I think the better question would be why there's a lush green forest behind the house in the middle of prairie country.” I said.

Both women stiffened slightly, then they walked exactly ten feet to the side of the driveway and stared at the forest that they had completely missed driving in.

“Beautiful, isn't it?” Gloria asked as she came out of the house. “My elves and squirrels love it.”

Both women turned to look at her.

“Who are you?” Samantha asked.

“I'm John's student, his apprentice, and the woman he will eventually accept into his bed and love for all eternity... once he gets over his squeamishness about raising me from when I was a little girl.”

I made a choking sound and then coughed several times.

“You are not my father and I've never seen you that way. You are just the nice man that my mother trusted to help me with my problems and to rescue me from my virtual imprisonment.”

“Gloria, you can't just...” I rubbed my face with a hand. “How am I supposed to respond to that?”

Gloria smiled. “We have all of eternity to make this work. You know that.”

I sighed. “I'm sorry that my own personal feelings on the matter, don't matter to you.”

Gloria knelt by my rocking chair. “John, they do matter to me. You matter to me. It's why I have never done anything to make you feel uncomfortable.”

“I'm uncomfortable right now.” I said.

“No, you aren't.” Gloria said and smiled knowingly. “That's what's bothering you. It's not that I'm telling you this, it's that you believe you should feel a certain way and you can't admit that you don't.”

“That's not...”

“John, you don't see me as a daughter. You never have.” Gloria said. “You're just weirded out that someone that used to be a little girl you took care of, is now a woman. Your brain can't parse the differences.”

I huffed. “You're lecturing me on parsing the mind? Really?”

Gloria smiled warmly. “The student has briefly become the teacher.”

I rolled my eyes to copy her favorite dissing move to make her laugh.

“I'm going back inside to practice.” Gloria said and kissed my cheek as she stood. “You really should ask these women what they really want with you.”

“I was trying to delay that as long as possible.” I said.

“I know.” Gloria said and then ran a hand through my hair as she walked by and went into the house.

“That was a little awkward.” Carolyn said.

“Not really. She's been making her intentions pretty clear since she was sixteen.” I said.

“And you didn't put a stop to it?” Samantha asked.

“Why would I? I've been the only male that's been able to be near her for her whole life, except for her father. He left when she was a baby and I have a sneaking suspicion that was why.”

The two women blinked their eyes at me for several moments.

“Yes, I agree. That would be really awkward.” Carolyn said.

“Not to mention illegal pretty much everywhere the law exists.” I said with a chuckle.

“Why is that funny?” Samantha asked.

“There are many places where there are no laws.” I said and they both looked surprised. “If you're always away from civilization because of necessity, who would ever find out or enforce the law?”

They had no response for that.

“I suppose I better ask you why you're here.” I said and looked at the very pretty woman. “Dr. Lam, why don't you tell me why you're here.”

Both Samantha and Carolyn caught their breaths.

“Yes, I know who you are. I also know who your father is.” I said and their surprised faces didn't change. “I assume with you here, General Landrey now controls the SGC?”

“Yes, he does.” Carolyn said and pulled out a letter from her pocket. “This is from the president himself and not an aide, not the VP, and not the head of the oversight committee.”

Do I show off or not? I asked myself, then decided to get the letter normally. I rocked forward and then stood up to my full six feet of height. I wore form-fitting jeans and a tight t-shirt, which got both women's attention. After working hard on the farm for the last six months to get it to the production stage, my normal muscles had bulked up a little.

I walked to the end of the porch and stepped down to stand in front of Carolyn. I was a little surprised that she was the same height as Padme at five feet six inches, exactly six inches shorter than me. She handed me the letter and I held it for a moment, then I opened it and read it.

“Say yes!” Gloria shouted from the upstairs bedroom.

“Do you really want me out of the house that badly?” I asked and looked up to see her leaning out the window.

“You're only a supervisor now and you're bored as hell!” Gloria shouted back. “Go have fun and you can visit me on the weekends if you're not working!”

“Gloria, this means I'll be travelling to other planets. I might be gone for weeks on a single mission!”

“You left me a comm device and can call whenever you want from the base.” Gloria said.

“You know you can't go anywhere without me.” I reminded her.

“I'm not that stupid, John. I promise you that I won't go anywhere except on the lands you made.”

I looked at the letter again and back at Carolyn. “I'll accept this on two conditions.”

“Name them and they're yours.” Samantha said.

I gave her a look. “Don't promise that which you know you can't deliver without higher approval.”

Samantha sighed at the rebuke and nodded.

“I want to bring a bird as a companion and a squirrel as a scout.” I said and Gloria made a squealing sound.

“A squirrel.” Samantha asked. “You want to bring a squirrel to the base.”

“And a bird. It's a sight-seeing bird.”

Carolyn covered her mouth to cover her bark of laughter, which made me smile.

“It's a sparrow!” Gloria reminded me.

I made a whistling sound and Gloria giggled as she cast the spell and the bird flew out of her room and landed on my shoulder.

“It really is a bird.” Samantha whispered.

I gained the image in my head for the 'Sparrow of Sight' and then my shoulder tingled. Instead of the thing being solely Gloria's, it was now ours. I looked up at Gloria and she seemed really happy as she mouthed the words 'it worked'.

I nodded and then made some chittering sounds. Gloria laughed and cast a squirrel spell, then the thing jumped out of the window instead of climbing down like normal. I let out a surprised sound and held my arms out to catch it, then the little bastard spread his arms and legs to reveal skin flaps and glided down to me in a slow circle before it landed on my other shoulder.

“Oh, very funny!” I said to Gloria, who laughed and laughed at tricking me.

“A flying squirrel.” Samantha said. “You have an actual flying squirrel.”

“Apparently.” I said as I gained joint control of the squirrel and looked back at Carolyn. “It's just over an hour's flight back to Colorado. Do you want to call me after you ask for permission?”

“We don't have to return for that.” Carolyn said. “As the on-site medical professional, I can grant you special permission to bring both animals.”

“That's handy.” I said.

“What's your second condition?” Carolyn asked.

“I'm not a part of the military and I doubt they would give me an appropriate rank if I actually joined.” I said. “I want my words and recommendations to actually be listened to. If I say it's dangerous somewhere, I don't want to be overruled or ignored.”

“Considering the president himself approved your other recommendations, I don't see that as a problem.” Carolyn said. “Will you follow orders when the situation warrants it?”

“That depends on who gets briefed in on my abilities.” I said and Samantha sighed. “Let me guess. A base-wide meeting?”

“Yes.” Samantha said. “It's so no one will be ignorant of your status.”

I looked back at Carolyn. “What is my status?”

“On paper, you're just like Dr. Jackson. An adjunct to the SG-1 team and a consultant.”

“In reality?” I asked.

“General Landrey will determine that after the debriefing.”

“What about my pay?” I asked.

“You want to get paid, too?” Samantha asked.

I gave her a raised eyebrow and she closed her mouth.

“That will also be determined after the debriefing. You seem to know a lot. If you prove it there, I'm sure a fairly large consultant fee can be arranged.” Carolyn said.

I smiled. “Good. The Disabled Veterans and their Wives Fund needs more donations.”

Both women looked surprised by that.

“Samantha's right. I don't need the money. I turned about thirty square miles of barren land into a self sustaining and prosperous farmland in only six months. The bank laughed when I first started it and I went into dept up to my eyeballs. Now they are begging me to come in and borrow more money to help the other farmers.”

“It's true! He's like a lucky rabbit's foot for growing!” Gloria shouted. “Don't forget to take your lab equipment with you!”

“I am not shipping that on a plane!” I said with a laugh. “Have a truck deliver it.”

“Lab equipment?” Samantha and Carolyn asked at the same time.

“Of course. What kind of scientist do you think I am if I don't have my own lab?”

“You're a scientist?” Samantha asked.

“I'm also a medical physician, mechanic, electrical engineer, fabricator, and a pilot.” I said and they looked shocked.

“His foot massages are legendary, too!” Gloria shouted.

“That's not helping my case!” I said and she giggled.

“You're not lying, are you?” Carolyn asked, almost in a whisper.

“Did you read my file and how I arrived?” I asked and she nodded. “If there's not enough room in the main medical room, I'll need a space near my lab for what I'm going to bring.”

“What's your view on infectious diseases?” Carolyn asked.

“If they can't be adapted to benefit mankind, they need to be eradicated.”

Carolyn smiled and nodded.

“Just so you know, I sometimes joke at inappropriate times. I don't want you to hold that against me.”

“I've been briefed on what happened.” Carolyn said.

“How long did it take for them to replace the bars in the holding cells?” I asked with a smirk.

“You'll be happy to know they are enclosed rooms now. It was easier to put up solid walls with the bars out of the way.” Carolyn said. “They also painted the walls a lighter color and fixed the lighting.”

“I'm glad. That place was depressing and I was only there for about fifteen minutes.”

“Would you mind if I ask how you destroyed the cameras without leaving the cell?” Carolyn asked.

“I used a fundamental element of the universe to enact my will upon my environment.” I said and she looked both thoughtful and confused. “I can't really explain it more than that. I can only show you.”

“Please do!” Carolyn said, excitedly.

I glanced around and saw a palm sized round rock near the road. I held my hand out towards it and both women looked to where it was. I cast Accio and the rock flew from the side of the road and into my hand. Samantha whispered a curse and Carolyn's mouth dropped open from shock.

I floated it up from my hand using the Force. I slowly rotated it to the right, then stopped it and rotated it to the left, just so they would know I was doing it. I turned my hand around to point the rock back to the road and banished it with Depulso. The rock shot like a bullet and hit the road, skipped off, and flew into the field across the road.

“Oops. I can't leave that there. Jacob is driving the tiller tomorrow and that might dent the blades if he's running them too fast.” I said and summoned the rock again. I cancelled the spell when the rock was near the road and it dropped to the far side into the drainage ditch. “So, any questions?”

Both women just stared at me and didn't speak.

“All right. Let me get changed and I'll be right out to go back with you.”

That seemed to shake them out of their shock.

“Wait, you're coming with us right now?” Samantha asked.

“Sure. It's not like I've got any reason to wait until later. Gloria's right. I'm pretty much wasting my time here.” I said and walked onto the porch and opened the front door of the house.

“We didn't book another seat for you.” Samantha said.

“Did you fly commercial or military?” I asked.

“Military.” Samantha said.

“I'll stand during takeoff and tour the cargo area during the flight.” I said and entered the house. I walked up the stairs and Gloria stood there with a sad smile on her face.

“I know that look, John.” Gloria said.

I cupped the sides of her face. “I think she's cute. I can't help it.”

Gloria sighed. “I don't like it; but, until you can get over your hang-ups, I can't be angry at you for it.”

I smiled and gave her a hug. “I just need time and you know what I say about time.”

“It's relative.” Gloria said. “Objects moving at the same speed share the same time. Objects that are apart have their own times.”

“Exactly. It's what I'm basing getting back to your mother on. We're moving at a much faster rate than where we left her all those years ago.”

Gloria hugged me and rested her head on my shoulder. She was five foot eight and a half, which made her just a bit too tall to hug my chest and a bit too short to look me in the eyes without having to look up slightly.

“I miss her a lot.” Gloria whispered.

“I know. She misses you, too.” I said and hugged her as I rubbed her back with a hand. “If we're lucky, we can use her talisman to focus on her the next time we travel.”

Gloria sighed and eased her hold on me to look up into my eyes. “You really believe that we can go back and she's going to accept me like this?”

“She's your mother. She'll accept you, even if it's only been a day since you've been there.”

“What if it's been several decades?” Gloria asked. “What if... what if she isn't alive when we manage to go back?”

I moved my hands back up to cup her cheeks. “Don't think like that. We have her talisman and we know the exact moment we shifted realities. Thanks to your memories, we can focus solely on her for the next jump.”

Gloria sighed. “I'll keep practising while you're off having fun on other worlds.”

“Sweetie, you're forgetting that you can just close your eyes and you can be right there with me.”

Gloria gasped. “You think it can work while you're off on another world?”

I chuckled. “It's connected to us through magic. I wouldn't be taking the sparrow along if I didn't believe that you could keep an eye on me while I'm away from you.”

Gloria looked very pleased. “Thank you, John.”

“It's the easiest way to include you and also keep you safe from them.”

Gloria nodded and gave me a pointed look, then she kissed my cheek. “Go ahead and get changed.”

I chuckled and transfigured my clothing into an SG-1 uniform. I then created a large duffle bag of clothing and hefted it over my shoulder. “I'll see you later.”

Gloria nodded and I went back down the stairs and out the front door. Samantha and Carolyn were surprised that I had an SG uniform on and had a duffle bag packed already.

“Have you been expecting us?” Samantha asked.

“No. I just always like to be prepared.” I said and went to the back door of the car and climbed in.

Samantha and Carolyn exchanged looks, then entered the vehicle themselves and we drove away from my farm. Well, Gloria's farm. She controlled it all and she loved having access to so much magic. I needed to find something that generated extra magic for her for every land she could own, just because the land options were so limited.

I sat exactly in the middle of the back seat and buckled in, just so both women could keep me in sight and I wasn't sitting directly behind them. I caught the both of them looking in the rear-view mirror several times, probably to see if I was doing anything except sitting there. I kept my amusement about the situation off of my face.

The drive to the airport wasn't that long and we were loaded into the back of a fairly large cargo plane. I copied it, of course. The army men didn't bat an eye as I stood beside the two available jump seats and held on with a stabilizing strap. They quickly closed up and we were up into the air and on our way.

I let the strap go and walked over to the airman. “Would you mind giving me a tour? I haven't been inside a C-17 before.”

The man glanced at the collar of my uniform.

I chuckled. “No rank for me. I'm too ornery to start from the bottom when I'm this old already.”

The airman smiled.

“It's just a request. I flew a grand old bitch that was the same width but was about 30 meters longer than this thing and it only had a small cargo capacity of 75 tons.”

“Jesus, how did you keep flying by carrying so little?”

“By the seat of my pants and hoping the custom inspectors didn't look under my bunk for the extra cargo! Ha ha!”

The airman laughed as well. “Why not? The captain should enjoy meeting another pilot.”

“Great! Lead the way.” I said and we left the cargo area. “Damn, this thing is as tight for moving space as my old bird.”

“I've lost count of how many times I've whacked my elbow off a door frame on this thing when I forget to keep my elbows tucked in.”

“Me, too! Are the headaches bad when you whack your head against the entryways?”

“My helmet's saved my skull a few times.” The airman said.

“A helmet! That could have saved my noggin' from bruising.” I said. “What's the in-flight meal like?”

The airman laughed. “E-rats and a side of granola bars if you're lucky.”

“Ouch. It wasn't much better for me before I started taking on contraband... I mean, fresh fruit and veggies.” I said and he grinned at me. “Checked of course. No unwanted passengers.”

“Found a spider in a pack of bananas once. Had to fumigate the whole thing.”

“Blech. I bet they tasted horrible afterwards.”

“Like an old gym sock dipped in rubbing alcohol. We just tossed the whole crate out.”

“Damn.” I said as he showed me the small kitchen. “What's your flight schedule like after this little jaunt?”

“We've got two transshipping cargo pallets in Colorado and then we're clearing the deck for a tank.”

“Sweet Merlin.” I said and he grinned at me. “I wish I was still aboard for that part. I love seeing ridiculous things getting shipped.”

“Me, too. The looks on some people's faces when you roll out a hundred K tank from the bay is just priceless.”

I nodded and he kept giving me a tour as we chatted and then we eventually made it to the cockpit. The airman knocked on the cockpit door and waited. The door opened and a pilot trainee gave us a look, shrugged, and went back to his seat. There were four people in the cockpit.

“Excuse me, Captain. Have you got time for a quick visitor?” The airman asked. “He's a pilot, too.”

“Of course. Jim, take over for a bit.”

“Yessir.” Jim said and put his hands on the controls. “Assuming control of the aircraft.” He said and stated the time.

“Relinquishing control.” The pilot said and let go. He stood up and walked over to me. “Name's Craig Dickson.”

“John Hansen.” I said and shook his hand. “It's my first time, so I had to beg the airman for the full tourist run and rubbernecked all the way up here.”

Craig chuckled. “You've got a bit of a southern drawl there. Midwest?”

“Kansas, born and raised. I love farming and feeding thousands of people.” I said. “I kind of picked up piloting while on my travels and then did that for more years than I'm likely to ever admit enjoying.”

“Ha! Same here.” Craig said and noticed my uniform. “New recruit?”

“Presidential draft, actually.” I said and everyone in the cockpit made a low whistling sound. “When the man on top politely asks you to accept a post he specifically wants you in, I couldn't plant my ass in the car to the airport fast enough.”

“Damn straight. The POTUS doesn't make idle requests.” Craig said and everyone nodded, myself included. “Is it pilot related?”

“Not yet.” I said with a smile and he laughed.

I ended up spending the rest of the trip in the cockpit and talking to the crew.

*

“No welcoming party? A cheering crowd? Where's the marching band?” I asked as we drove into the base.

“You weren't supposed to come back with us.” Samantha reminded me.

“Oh, yeah. Drop me off here, Carolyn. I can come back later when you're ready.”

Carolyn gave me a smile in the rear-view mirror. “I already called and he's expecting you.”

I nodded and she parked the car. I grabbed my duffle bag and followed them into the base. Carolyn signed me in and I signed as well as a guest. It would be changed when I was officially accepted into the Stargate Program and received official paperwork and ID for the base. I could easily make it for myself and decided against showing off. That could wait until the briefing.

We were let in after my bag was checked. Samantha gave me an odd look when I didn't protest the check. I didn't tell her they were all copy clothes and not ones I would be actually wearing. I was sure she was thinking that I had one of my weapons on me.

“I'll let the rest of the team know that you're here.” Samantha said in an odd tone of voice and walked away.

“I assume they don't like having me assigned to their team without them having a say in the matter.” I said to Carolyn.

“I expect some tension, especially from Colonel O'Neill. He hasn't vetted you personally and that's going to bother him.”

I smiled. “While I'm meeting with the general, could you subtly suggest to him to do that? A chance meeting on the range or in the training area?”

Carolyn gave me a questioning look and then nodded.

“Thank you.” I said and lightly touched her arm. “Do you want to lead me to the general's office?”

“Don't you already know the way?” Carolyn asked, her voice a little defensive.

“Yes. I just want him in a better mood if he gets to see your face for a minute.”

Carolyn looked conflicted.

“It's all right if you don't want to.”

Carolyn sighed. “I suppose I can at least say hello in person.”

I gave her a warm smile. “Thank you.”

“Don't think that I don't know that you're flirting pretty hard with me.” Carolyn said and led me through the base to the elevator.

“Is it working?” I asked.

“No.” Carolyn said and smiled slightly.

I waited until we were in the elevator. “I find you incredibly attractive.”

“That wasn't a blatant come on at all.” Carolyn responded.

“I have a weak spot for women that have the rare combination of intelligence and beauty.”

“That was both a compliment and an insult.” Carolyn said.

I chuckled. “All those poor beautiful people that will suffer for me not being interested in them.”

Carolyn smiled. “Yes, poor them.”

The elevator opened and she led me down two hallways and paused in front of the door. She took a deep breath and I lightly touched her shoulder for support. She gave me a nod and then knocked on the General's office door. I removed my hand and waited.

“Come.” A man's voice said and Carolyn opened the door.

“General, I've brought Mr. Hansen to you.” Carolyn said, a little formally.

The man smiled and stood. “That's great. Thank you, Carolyn. I mean Dr. Lam.”

“I'll be back in an hour to get the lab work out of the way.” Carolyn said to me.

I nodded and she left. I stepped into the office and shut the door. “That was quite difficult for her.”

“I know.” Hank said and held a hand out for me to shake.

I shook it and we both sat down at his desk. “Are you settled in yet?”

“Just about. The handover of command went fairly smoothly.”

“I knew there would be repercussions to what happened with me. I didn't expect Hammond to get shuffled off somewhere, though.”

“He was officially reprimanded for not following proper protocol. You should have been sequestered immediately, even hurt like you were at the time. If there had been another off-world activation of the Stargate, you would have been right there in the middle of it.”

I blinked my eyes for a moment. “I hadn't even considered that aspect of being left in the gate room for that long.”

“No one else at the time had, either. The control room wasn't manned for half an hour after the black hole incident and everyone returned to the base.”

I winced. “Okay, I don't feel so bad about what happened now.”

Hank chuckled. “It wasn't your fault. You gave warnings, reminded them of protocol, and then clearly stated that you would leave if they didn't fulfill your requests. This isn't supposed to be a prison. It's an airlock.”

I thought about that for a moment and then smiled. “What a great analogy. You let people acclimate to either go off-world or be introduced to Earth's civilization.”

Hank smiled as well. “It's still a military operation because it is the best equipped organization for situations like those that come up.”

“Namely mine.” I said and he nodded. “Can you give me a pre-debriefing debriefing before the official debriefing?”

“Of course. We're welcoming you into the program, not interrogating you.” Hank chuckled. “It's going to feel like one, however.”

I nodded and we spent the rest of the hour talking about what exactly I could show the others and what I shouldn't show. I also told him some of the things I could do and he immediately vetoed me using the same trick I did for Samantha and Carolyn. It was too supernatural for some of the military men to handle properly. A knock on the door ended the discussion and I went to the door to open it.

“Ah, Dr. Lam!” I said and turned back to the general. “If you will excuse me, General. My date with needles and torture devices has arrived.”

Hank laughed for a second and then caught himself. “Do try to be gentle with him, Dr. Lam.”

“He'll get gentle, all right.” Carolyn said in a flat voice.

I chuckled. “I've got something being shipped in with my lab equipment that you're going to love, Doc. Believe me. You're going to love it.”

“Why do I doubt that?” Carolyn asked.

“Your suspicious nature?” I asked and nodded to Hank before I stepped out of the office and closed the door. “It's what I consider the primitive version of the field adaptation I made years ago.”

“That's not cryptic or anything.” Carolyn said as we walked down the hallway.

“I can't really tell you what it is, because you'll be begging me to get it here immediately for testing and experimentation.” I said and she gave me a skeptical look. “I know that because I played with the thing for a week before I used it the first time, then I spent years working with it and experimenting. It's really quite fascinating.”

We rode the elevator to the right floor and entered the medical wing of the base. Dr. Fraiser was there and she gave me a look, then nodded and brought over several things to one of the beds.

“The general has ordered me to be gentle with the patient.” Carolyn said and had me lay down.

“He has, has he?” Dr. Fraiser said.

“Yes. Would you like to do the honors instead?” Carolyn said with a smile and Dr. Fraiser smiled back.

She wasn't gentle.

*

I rubbed my arm two hours later as I sat in the cafeteria.

“Stop being such a baby.” Carolyn said and took a bite of her sandwich.

“You do realize she holds me responsible.”

“Of course I do. Why else would I hand you over to her? She needed her revenge and the closure.”

“Thanks a lot.” I said and rubbed the spot again. It didn't hurt, because I had healed it as soon as the tests were over. I didn't want them knowing that, though. Like Carolyn said, Dr. Fraiser needed me to suffer.

“After we eat, you're heading to the training area for your proficiency tests.” Carolyn said with a little smile.

I nodded and ate my sandwich quickly. I drank the orange juice and I was done. Carolyn led me from the cafeteria to the training room and I wasn't surprised to see Jack, Samantha, Daniel, and Teal'C were there as well. They didn't even try to pretend they weren't there to observe me. Well, Daniel did try and looked quite awkward, so I understood why the other three didn't try.

“I leave him in your hands, Master Sergeant.” Carolyn said to the man in command of the training area. “Please send the results to the general ASAP.”

“Yes, ma'am.” The man said and waited for her to leave before he looked at me. “Decent size. Done some hard work, I see.”

I turned my hands over to show the very old calluses and he nodded.

“Any military experience?”

“Not officially.” I said.

The man huffed. “I hope you're not a couch soldier.”

“I could bench press a couch.” I said with a smile. “I've done some actual skirmish fighting against both criminals and a militant organization.”

The man paused and looked me over again. “All right. We'll do the range first. Any weapons training?”

“Not officially.” I said and followed him.

“Self-taught?” He asked, a little weary.

“Hell, no. I worked with two ex-military for years and they taught me everything I know.”

The man gave an approving nod and prepped a handgun for me. “Show me what you got.”

I looked at the target down the range and it was about twice the distance for a handgun to shoot accurately, if you didn't know how to shoot. I chuckled at the man and he frowned. I checked the weapon over and then took a proper stance, then I aimed high. The bullet had to carry through the air and let momentum alone take it to the target.

I pulled the trigger and then I cleared the gun, put on the safety, and stepped back. The Master Sergeant huffed and stepped into my place and hit the button to retrieve the paper target. It took a minute for it to make the journey and I thought I heard a sound of approval from behind me.

“Not bad.” The Master Sergeant said and saw the bullet hole was only slightly off-center of the bullseye on the target's heart. “What's your choice weapon?”

“Custom-made shotgun called a Haymaker.” I said and he gave me a surprised look. “Whatever you shoot with it, it makes hay.”

There was a chuckle behind me and I smiled.

“I wouldn't mind seeing that.” The man said.

“It's arriving tomorrow with my other equipment.”

“What equipment?” He asked.

“Body armor, other guns, lab equipment, medical equipment, maintenance tools, and a bunch of supplies and things.” I said and he looked surprised. “What's that old saying? When you're in, you're in all the way or it's not worth it, or something?”

“Something like that.” The man said. “How are you with a long rifle?”

“Maybe half a mile on a clear day. I didn't have much call for that where I was and only did one mission. It sure was a great shot, though. The crew threw a party that night for saving them from having to chase the target.”

“What was the target?”

“The driver of a cargo vessel. Their crew stole medical supplies to sell on the black market. They were meant for a settlement that needed it, so we stepped in and took care of it.”

The Master Sergeant gave me an odd look. “You don't mind killing?”

“That depends. Bad guys? Not a lick of remorse. Necessary deaths to save someone? I feel guilty that it couldn't be resolved peacefully. Slaughtering everything because it's there? Not a chance.”

The man nodded and we went over to a sparing mat. “I want you to show me how you fight.”

“What are the rules?” I asked and he looked surprised. “Dirty, clean, disarming, disabling, knockout, pin, or ring out?”

“Clean, subduing, pin.” The man said and took a defensive stance. “Go for it.”

A second later, he was face down on the mat with his arm behind his back.

“I didn't even see him move.” Samantha whispered. It was quiet in the training area, so we all heard her anyway.

“Sorry about that. I haven't had to tussle physically in a long time.” I said and helped him up. “When I get the small medbay set up, come visit me. We can get that old injury looked at.”

“How do you know about that?” The Master Sergeant asked.

“I'm a medical doctor.” I said and he looked surprised. “It'll all be in the briefing tomorrow.”

“Let's move to the heavy bag and the speed bag.” The man said and we did so. He recorded the results, some of which were surprising. They kind of surprised me, too.

I hadn't realized how many little things I had picked up over the years and how much all those little abilities were enhancing me in more ways than I thought they did. My agility, accuracy, coordination, balance, strength, durability, and my awareness, all of them were well above the normal standard. I didn't mention that I had copied quite a few abilities from a Kryptonian.

It still bothered me that I couldn't make a genetic booster and give myself partial Kyptonian DNA. The problem was that the DNA was like them, overpowered. It consumed and overwrote anything introduced to it, especially human DNA. If I ever did manage to combine the DNA with the bacteria of the bacta solution, I would leave the immersion tank looking completely different.

That wasn't as big of a problem as is could be, especially if I transfigured myself afterwards. The problem would be, would I still have my other abilities if I resequenced my DNA? It was too big of a risk to lose everything, just to eventually gain self-propelled flight, near-invulnerability, and heat vision. I melted my eyeballs once when trying to use that power and boy, did that hurt. I immediately discarded the ability as useless.

“Training scenarios.” Jack said when the last test was over.

“That's a great idea, Colonel.” The Master Sergeant said with a grin. “I'll call up a couple of squads that are just dying to squash a newbie.”

Jack smiled and nodded.

I didn't remind them that I had experience with small one man or several man incursions into enemy territory. I just stood there and listened to the explanation of the first scenario and nodded when appropriate, while the three squads of men quickly set up barricades and things in the room.

“Here's a paintball gun.” The Master Sergeant said and handed a pistol to me. “You have thirteen shots. Twelve in the cartridge and one in the chamber. Make them all count.”

I glanced at the three teams of four men I would be going against. “Are head shots okay?”

“Helmet or goggles.” The man said. “Go ahead and get in position. The hostage will be waiting for you to rescue them.”

I wasn't surprised that Samantha had volunteered to be the hostage. She also had two guards, making the scenario a little biased against me. I grinned as I went to the starting area and didn't visibly check the pistol. Just touching it gave me the information I needed. There was no shot in the chamber and I only had twelve shots.

I was going to have a lot of fun showing them River's assassination techniques.

*

“Great Caesar's Ghost.” The Master Sergeant whispered as I princess-carried a blushing Samantha Carter out of the training area. Twelve 'dead' men, all with head shots on their right goggle, walked behind me and were whispering animatedly.

I relinquished my hold on Samantha and stood her beside Jack before I unholstered my weapon, cleared it, and gave it to the Master Sergeant. “I am formally returning the weapon, Master Sergeant.”

The man gave me an odd look. “I only saw twelve shots.”

“Yessir. Twelve men only need twelve shots. I didn't need the last one.”

The man smiled, almost evilly, as he cleared the chamber to show it was empty and popped out the clip. “Then why is this empty? I told you there were thirteen shots.”

“There's still one left, Master Sergeant.” I said and pointed.

The man looked shocked as he turned the clip slightly to look for himself and there was a single paintball left. His mouth moved and he didn't speak, so I assumed he was speechless.

“Was that it? I'm done, right?” I asked and he nodded.

“John, you have got to show me how you did that glide and pop up move.” One of the men said as he took off his goggles.

“That's a trick I picked up from my adopted daughter. She could practically appear out of nowhere with nothing else in the room.”

“You're kidding!”

“Not even a little bit.” I said.

“Now that's a skill we would all like to have.” He said and several of the others nodded.

“I suppose I could show you a trick or two, as long as you keep it to yourselves. If everyone can do it, how would we surprise them?”

The guys laughed and agreed. My testing session quickly turned into an infiltration seminar. Samantha had quickly excused herself from embarrassment and Daniel wasn't interested in the tactical side of things, so he left, too. I wasn't surprised that Jack, Teal'C, and the Master Sergeant stuck around for the whole thing.

*

“I'd like to introduce you all to John Hansen, recently appointed adjunct to the SG-1 team.” General Landrey said and everyone applauded.

“Go get 'im, John!” One of the guys from yesterday hollered and a bunch of them laughed.

Apparently, I'm well known already. I thought and shook the general's hand before taking the podium. “This is just a general debriefing and not a full disclosure meeting. My team will get that in private later. I'm just here to discuss my skills, why I was appointed, and what I'm going to be doing here at the base between missions.”

“Do you shave down there?” Another of the guys from yesterday asked and they all laughed.

I smiled at them breaking the ice for me. “I will refrain from discussing my privates until I'm in private with an appropriate audience.” I said and they all laughed again. “Let's just say that 'clean as a whistle' is not just a saying.”

Of course, this set off wolf whistles and a few applause.

“My name, if there was a single person at the base that doesn't know it, is John Hansen. I was born in Kansas and grew up a farm boy. When I was ten, my friends and I quickly discovered the school teachers were keeping us dumb on purpose, so we would want to keep farming and not have aspirations past that.”

“The bastards!”

“I thought so myself when I was much older.” I said. “Instead, my friends and I got together and studied what kids in other states studied, right up from kindergarten. It was a daunting task for a bunch of ten year olds; but, my future wife dragged me by the nose and I did it.”

“You gotta love them southern gals!” Someone said and nearly every man nodded.

“I really did. Sally was the best.” I said. “I learned a heck of a lot more than the teachers ever expected. Do you know what I did with all of my smarts?”

“Kicked their asses!”

I chuckled. “No, they weren't worth the effort. I applied it to farming and made my parents and my future wife's family very happy people by making their farms the best producers and moneymakers at the time.” I said. “What my time there did, was show me that I could apply myself to anything to learn it. It would just take time and effort. So, after I left the farm, that's what I did.”

“What are you now?” A female voice asked.

I glanced over to see Carolyn smile at me. “I am actually a bunch of things. A farmer, a scientist, a medical physician, a mechanic, an electrical engineer, a fabricator, and a pilot.”

Some people cursed and were looking at me oddly.

“I also have a ton of other skills that keep myself and those I care about safe. Some of you saw a bit of that yesterday.” I said and the guys that were there nodded. “I picked those up during my travels and there's not really a job associated with a lot of them. They are just something I do when necessary.”

“And now you're here.” General Landrey said.

“Yes, and I'm going to start using my skills to help everyone.” I said and the people at the briefing looked happy. “My main focus will be helping SG-1 on missions. My secondary focus is helping Dr. Fraiser and Dr. Lam in the medical wing. My third will be helping the guys in the maintenance bays.”

“YES!” Someone yelled and everyone laughed.

“Despite my name being John, I'm a Jack-Of-All-Trades.” I joked and they chuckled lightly. “You're all going to see and notice changes around here quickly. Better weapons, stronger armor, a medical plan that's out of this world...”

“You better not show us Uranus!” Someone shouted and they all laughed.

I laughed, too. “One again, private things in private.” I said and walked over to a metal case. I opened it and took out a modified Droid Blaster. I had removed the dangerous parts and left only the Stun part.

A collective 'ooo' sound came from the soldiers. They all loved new guns.

“The president himself said that I didn't have to turn this over to the SGC when I joined.” I said and nodded to the general. He waved his hand and a clerk that had volunteered pulled over a small blow up mattress and stood in front of it. I took aim and pulled the trigger. The blue light hit the man and he crumpled to the floor and landed on the air mattress.

“Jesus! It's true!” Someone shouted.

“I told you.” Someone else said. “I was out for six hours. Didn't have a headache or anything, either.”

“This works on everything from a rat to an elephant. One shot and they're out for six hours.” I said.

“How the hell did you test it on an elephant?” Someone asked.

“Africa can be a dangerous place. Taking away his credit card is not the only way to stop a charging elephant.” I said and the crowd groaned. “No dad jokes?”

Everyone shook their heads no several times.

“I'll be producing these in my lab at about four a day until I get the automated process down, then I can set it and let it go, as long as I have the base materials.”

“We have a truck coming in a couple of days.” The general said. “That should give you enough ore to form the chassis and outfit everyone here at the base and topside.”

“That's perfect. Thank you, General.” I said and he nodded.

“If the practical use of them is proven, they could be contracted officially and distributed to the rest of the armed forces.” The general said and that made the chatter increase a lot. A government weapons contract was a huge thing.

“I already have enough for my team and one other.” I said and they all put their hands up. I chuckled. “They are going to the next gating team.”

“Woohooo!” Four men said and did high fives all around.

“For the next two days, the next outgoing team on the rotation gets theirs. When I get up and running, it's first come, first served.” I said and they nodded. “I've already prefabricated new under-armor for all the teams, so those can be picked up and stored in your lockers.”

“You must have been anticipating something like this.” The general said.

“Kind of. I knew the SGC was going to contact me, if only for an apology. I might not turn over every weapon design I have; but, the protective stuff I will hand over without question.”

“That's quite generous of you.” The general said.

“I'm not the bad guy here. You have a big brain worm problem and I'm going to do what I can to help with that.” I said and he nodded, as did a lot of the people in the room. “I should have my lab and medbay set up by the morning.”

“Aren't you going to sleep?” Someone asked.

“I can sleep tomorrow night. I've got work to do.” I said. “Now, does anyone have any questions?”

They all put up their hands.

“No one? After all that I've said and no one wants to know more?” I asked and they all chuckled or laughed. I pointed to a guy at the back and started answering questions for the next hour.

I only had to claim state secrets twice and not answer, which was a lot less than what I thought I would have to. The briefing ended and everyone seemed to stand up and not really know what to do with themselves.

“You all just want to hang out for a bit and keep talking?” I asked and I received a bunch of affirmatives in response. I nodded to the general and then pulled up a chair down on the floor. They all sat around me and we shared stories, discussed tactics, and disclosed our favorite weapons and planes.

“I think my favorite is the old Lockheed P-38 Lightning.” One of the men said.

“That's the twin fuselage one, right?” Someone else asked.

The soldier nodded. “It was just such a striking design that it caught my attention, you know?”

“I feel the same way about the Lamborghini Countach. It was the butterfly doors that caught my attention.” I said. “Although, I definitely prefer it with the rear wing. The car looks unfinished when it doesn't have one.”

“That's a nice sporty car.” Another solider said. “I'm partial to the Diablo myself.”

“Ferrari for me, all the way. The low lines and body shape are awesome.” Another guy said.

“If we're all putting our wishes into a hat, I would love to have a Porche.” Carolyn said and we all turned to look at her. “What? Just because I'm a woman, that doesn't mean I don't know about cars.”

It was quiet for about two seconds before the guys all burst out laughing.

“Doc, you're a funny gal!” “You're hilarious!” “Best damn thing I've heard all week!”

Carolyn huffed and crossed her arms, which made them all laugh harder.

I motioned with my hand to get her attention and then I gave her my warmest smile. “I think that was her subtle hint that we're perpetuating a stereotype.”

“Ha! It's not a stereotype if it's true.” One soldier said. “If you asked my girlfriend what her favorite car was, she would say the blue one! Ha ha ha ha!”

“Wife's the same. She can't find the gas cap most days and always pulls up on the wrong side of the gas pump. The poor attendant is usually stumped about what to do.” Another said, to everyone's laughter.

I winked at Carolyn and she smirked back at me, so I couldn't resist asking the next question. “What color Porche would you want?”

Carolyn looked at the soldier that spoke before. “Blue is my favorite color.”

That set everyone off to laughing again and I joined in. She really knew how to endear herself to the people there.

*

“You're lucky we have a huge cargo elevator.” Samantha said as the work crew loaded the huge packing crate into the elevator.

“You all are.” I said and pat the side of the crated bacta tank. “With this thing installed, you're going to be swamped with people wanting to come here for replacement parts.”

Samantha gave me a surprised look. “That's what it's for?”

I nodded. “I'll need about three hours to get the computers and things hooked up, secure the power source, then add in the special fluid mixture needed.”

“How long will it take?”

“A day for a lost hand or a foot. Four days to a week for a full limb regrowth.”

Samantha gasped and the work crew stared at me.

“What?” I asked.

“Did you just say you can regrow limbs with this stuff?” One of them men asked and waved at all the crates that had been dropped off by the transfer truck.

“Only some of it. There's diagnostic scanners, computer banks, electronic monitoring equipment, and a bunch of other things to make a small manufacturing plant.”

“Boys, we're getting this done as soon as possible!” The man said and the others cheered. “Sir, if you need a volunteer to be first, my brother's been riding a desk for three years because he lost his leg from a mine.”

“You better call him and get him here for the morning.” I said and the man shook my hand before they packed as much as they safely could into the heavy cargo elevator. I wasn't surprised when only a short time later, everything was quickly unpacked and the crates and things were removed and taken out.

“I've never seen them work that fast.” Samantha commented as the door closed.

“Personal motivation trumps job motivation every time.” I said and checked the bacta tank over. It was intact, so I moved it into place under the scaffolding I had created and then secured it into place.

“Do you want a hand hooking all of this up?” Samantha asked, quite pointedly.

“You do realize I will have to teach you how to do that, don't you?” I asked and moved one of the main monitoring stations over to beside the bacta tank.

“I think I can figure it out.” Samantha said and I chuckled. “Why is that funny?”

“Here. Read this.” I said and handed her a small booklet written in Galactic Standard.

Samantha stared at the weird language inside it for about ten minutes, then she walked away with it.

Five minutes later, Daniel Jackson was snapping at my heels and begging me to give him the primer.

I let him sweat it out for another minute before I pulled out a 'cheat sheet' I had made for the alphabet a very long time ago. “Have fun.”

“Thanks, John!” Daniel said and ran off like a kid that just had the best Christmas ever.

*

The first bacta tank customer had no problems signing non-disclosure agreements. He was a career military man and knew all about experiments. Dr. Fraiser and Carolyn were there to observe and to perform their own experiments. They had both been surprised that I didn't have anything at all in my blood, skin samples, or DNA that was different than a normal human. That they could detect, anyway.

I did not remind them that they didn't have the best diagnostic tools like I had. The man stripped off and put on the connected adult diaper and the ventilator with feeding tube without instruction, which meant he had done some diving previously. I helped him slide into the top of the tank and sealed the top before starting the timer and running the first diagnostic tests with the attached machines.

“He's got to cook for five days to get that leg back.” I said and nodded at the display. “I assume one or both of you will be here to monitor for an hour or so every day to see how this turns out?”

“We're taking shifts during off-duty hours.” Dr. Fraiser said. “If that's okay.”

“As long as you don't fiddle with anything, you can be dancing around here naked and I wouldn't mind.” I joked and she looked offended, so I winked at Carolyn, who laughed softly.

“He's a terrible joker.” Carolyn said.

“That wasn't funny.” Dr. Fraiser said.

“It was a subtle attempt to see if you wanted to dance naked around an advanced medical laboratory that you have access to.” I said. “I'm a little disappointed that you don't want to, actually.”

“I'm sure you can live with the disappointment.” Dr. Fraiser said and looked at the display herself. “You've set this up like an EKG?”

“Yes and no.” I said and started to explain the differences, then I started to show her the other things it could show, like blood flow, brain activity, neural responses, and a few other things.

“How did you come up with this?” Dr. Fraiser asked.

“Years of hard work and experimentation. I bought it from an advanced civilization and tore it all apart to figure it out, then rebuilt it and tweaked it to make it really efficient. Before I fixed it, regrowing a limb could take up to a month.”

“Even that would be worth it.” Dr. Fraiser said.

“If you weren't stuck in a tube of gel for a month with nothing to do but float there, it wouldn't be so bad.” I commented and she gave me a surprised look.

“That's a good point.” Carolyn said. “Most people don't consider the repercussions of the treatment or the time it takes to recover.”

“Most people expect a 'right now' response when introduced to things like this.” I said and waved at the tank. “Even my emergency field version requires time to grow things back.”

“I reviewed the time of when you arrived.” Carolyn said. “You had no feet up to the ankle when you were discovered and then almost two hours later, you were wiggling your toes at Captain Carter.”

I chuckled. “Did you see her face when I called for sanctuary and political asylum?” I asked and she nodded. “I also had a few other things going on to speed the process up.”

“Can you duplicate that?” Dr. Fraiser asked.

“If I did repeat what happened to make me lose my feet, I wouldn't be here anymore for you to observe what happens.”

Both women looked surprised by my answer.

“Don't worry. I'm not planning on going anywhere for a while.” I said and they nodded. “So, who wants to start reading up on the bacta technology?”

Both women put up their hands and I laughed.

“Give me a minute to grab a couple copies of the research.” I said and went into the storage room as I pretended to retrieve two datapads. “This is proprietary technology and I'm trusting the two of you with this.”

Both women took the devices and then gasped at the screens.

“Go ahead and have a seat at the desk. I'll give you a quick run-through on how to use them.”

They quickly sat and looked at me eagerly, so I spent the next half an hour teaching them how to use the datapads and what was on them.

“It's like an entire medical library.” Dr. Fraiser whispered. “Some of these things I've never heard of.”

“There's a lot you've never heard of, actually. It took me a while to change them into a language anyone could read.”

“Where did you get the... what did you call them?”

“Datapads.” I said. “They are self contained and don't connect wirelessly, unless a compatible system is set up as a server for them to feed from.”

They gave me pointed looks.

“I should have it set up by the weekend. I'm trying to figure out how to bridge the computer systems here to the new servers without blowing up the old one.”

“Too much power?” Carolyn asked and I nodded. “You should talk to the tech department. They set up the interface between the Stargate and the computers. Connecting two computer systems should be a little easier.”

I was doubtful they could help, then I shrugged and nodded. It was worth a shot. They had a lot more experience with the older computers and any insight to fixing the communications problem would be a huge help.

*

The man's toes finished growing and the buzzer sounded. Dr. Fraiser, Carolyn, and I went up the stairs to the top of the scaffolding and I popped open the seals on the tank. The first customer popped up out of it like a cork and I grabbed him and pulled off the ventilator and the feeding tube. I used the devices to clear out the man's sinuses, ears, and mouth, then helped him take off the adult diaper.

The man yelled happily and slapped his new leg. “I thought I was dreaming! It's real! It's really real!”

“No splashing in the pool.” I said and he laughed as I dried him off. “You need a good scrubbing bath because you're going to smell for a week or so. You also need to shave.”

He reached up and felt the full beard on his face, then laughed again. “My wife's going to kill me after she's done screwing me!”

I handed him a robe. “She's waiting in the waiting area up top for you, as is your brother.”

“I gotta thank him for this.” The man said and looked down at his leg. “Does it work? It's not like going to flop around like a dead fish or anything, is it?”

I laughed. “No, your brain made the right connections while it was growing. Keeping your balance might feel weird for about a week with a normal leg.”

“I can balance in my sleep.” The man said and then gave me wide eyes. “I think I've had enough sleep for a while.”

I helped him stand and he wobbled a little. “I felt the same way and I was in it for four days.”

“What'd you lose?” He asked.

“Most of my skin and flesh were charred to a crisp in an explosion.” I said and Carolyn and Dr. Fraiser gasped.

“Jesus.” The man said and then put a hand on my shoulder. “I'm glad it worked as well for me as it did for you.”

“Even better.” I said and he looked surprised. “It cleared out your arteries and the plaque building up on your heart halves. You can stop taking blood pressure medication and your cholesterol is back to normal.”

“Damn, doc! If I wasn't married, I'd declare my love for you and beg to have your babies!”

I laughed and nodded at the stairs. “If I had a nickel for every time I heard that... I'd have a nickel.”

The man laughed and used my shoulders as a brace as we carefully went down the stairs. When we reached the bottom, he was a bit more confident in his strides.

“You have the stairs on purpose, don't you?” He asked as we walked at a half normal walking pace to pick up his clothing.

“A ramp won't be as efficient about getting your brain to think about how to use your toes for balance.” I said and led him behind a screen. “Are you sure you want to change and not bathe first?”

“Hell, no! My wife's waiting for me. If I don't make a bee-line for her as soon as I can, I'll be sleeping on the couch for a week after she's done with me... if you know what I mean.”

I nodded and helped him change. We left the lab and went to the elevator.

“You're right, doc. It's weird not having a strong artificial leg to balance with.”

“You used it more as a launching point than a leg. It'll take a bit of time to get used to not having to do that anymore.”

The man nodded and we rode up the elevator in silence. It stopped on the ground floor and right after the doors opened, there was another person in the elevator with us and hugging the man. I eased the crying woman and the restored man out into the hallway to let the elevator return to service, then I stood there as the man's wife, brother, and several military officials talked to him and poked his leg several times.

“His thigh isn't going to react like the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man.” I joked and not a single person laughed. In fact, they looked at me like I was crazy.

“Are you feeling all right, doc?” The man asked me, concerned.

I laughed to cover up my mistake. “I'm fine. That's the name of a character on a little known cartoon when I was a kid. I keep forgetting that I'm not in Kansas anymore and no one's going to get my references or inside jokes.”

Looks of understanding appeared on their faces.

“If you have any troubles, just call your brother. He can get a hold of me here.” I said.

“Thanks, doc. See you later.” The man said and they all went back to talking normally.

I went back to the elevator and rode it back down to the lab.

General Hank Landrey was waiting for me. “You need to be more careful about what you say, John.”

I sighed and nodded. “I didn't realize what I said would make that much of an impact.”

“You did great with the recovery. No one will bother trying to look up obscure cartoons from decades ago.” Hank said. “What was it you referenced?”

“Stay Puft was a food production company and they made the best and most popular marshmallows in the country.” I said. “The character was even in a feature film.”

“What one?” Carolyn asked.

“Ghostbusters.” I said, expecting them to not know what it was.

“No way! They summoned a giant marshmallow?” Carolyn asked, surprised.

“What's in your version?”

“The Michelin Man.” Carolyn said and I had no clue who that was. “He's the mascot for a brand of popular tires. He is actually made from stacks of white tires.”

“Okay that's... Bill Murray was the star, right?”

“Yes. His chemistry with Sigourney was horrible.”

“Did she do the Alien movie?” I asked, hope in my voice.

“Alien movie? What was it about?” Carolyn asked.

I opened my mouth to respond, then sighed.

*

“General, you have to recall the stun guns.” Jack said in the meeting room. As the ranking member, he was the spokesperson.

I had been asked to attend because of the subject. Samantha, both doctors, several team captains, the rest of SG-1, and General Hank Landrey were the other participants.

“I don't want to know why, do I?” Hank asked.

“We've had three sprained wrists, a broken ankle, and two concussions in the infirmary this week.” Dr. Fraiser said.

“You didn't send me the broken ankle?” I asked.

“Your stun gun caused the injury. It was better for the soldier to suffer the normal way to think over the repercussions of his decisions.” Dr. Fraiser said.

“The whole point of having the healing tech is to use it.” I said.

“If they believe they can do what they want and not have any consequences, it will cause even more chaos.” Dr. Fraiser said and slid the reports to Hank. “I endorse Colonel O'Neill's recommendation.”

Hank gave me a questioning look.

“I expected more injuries.” I said, to everyone's surprise. “What? They got a new toy that doesn't hurt, incapacitates without injury... if used correctly... and there are no after effects like headaches or drowsiness. I thought half of the ready teams would have been out for at least a full shift by now.”

Jack huffed. “They're covering things up.”

“Wouldn't you?” I asked and he smiled slightly. “There are growing pains with each new introduced technology. I've had six people stop in for a bacta booster for chest and arm bruises from testing the new body armor.”

“Same here.” Carolyn said. “Their stories don't really match the injuries, either.”

Both Jack and I barked laughs, then coughed to cover them up.

“I don't need to know the details.” Hank said.

“Yes, General.” We said in response. We all knew the guys were having a grand time seeing what the armour could stand up to, including being thrown down stairs and being hit with batons and punches.

“I'll give it another week while SG-1 gears up for their next mission.” Hank said. “That image Dr. Jackson analyzed from the MALP sent to P3R-272 has us all curious.”

“Are we taking the stun guns?” Jack asked.

“You don't have to. It's just the best non-violent reactionary tool that we have access to.” Hank said and nodded to me. “Alien elephants don't have credit cards.”

I chuckled and the others groaned. “He's a dad. He's allowed.”

“No dad should be allowed.” Samantha said and most of the others nodded.

I noted that Carolyn wasn't one of them. “I've made a hand-sized one for Daniel if he wants one.”

“No, thanks. I'm not comfortable with guns, even pacifist ones.” Daniel said.

“I'll take it.” Carolyn said, to everyone's surprise. “A woman needs protection sometimes.”

“Stop by the locker room and I'll give it to you.” I said with a crooked smile.

Carolyn huffed and shook her head. “You do realize my father is right there and that he's your boss.”

Hank kind of shrugged. “I don't mind a good innuendo. It was a bit classy, too.”

“Vulgarity is for the common people.” I said in a snooty Alliance voice, which shocked everyone.

“Damn, that actually sounded real and I almost believed it.” Daniel said. “Do that again.”

I chuckled and then straightened my back as I adopted a pure-blooded wizard's attitude as I paraphrased what I said about Inara. “I am immensely looking forward to treating the good Doctor Lam like a lady for the evening, then I will treat her like a woman for the rest of the night.”

Everyone looked shocked again, except for Jack, who smiled. “Now that's one hell of a pickup line.”

“Good lord.” Dr. Fraiser whispered, her eyes wide.

“It does seem to be quite effective.” Teal'C commented.

I looked over at Carolyn and she blushed. “Just so you know, I wasn't joking. I truly feel that way.”

“That wasn't innuendo.” Hank said in a stern voice.

“Yessir. Sorry, sir. Back on track.” I said. “I've helped repair the jeeps and trucks in the base and I've started looking into installing better collapsible shields around everything that's vulnerable.”

“What kind of shielding?” Hank asked.

“The new iris for the Stargate is my inspiration.”

“You're kidding.” Samantha said.

“I've almost worked out making a square version. The math is pretty complex; but, I'll crack it in a few days.” I said and everyone stared at me. “What? I remember the glass breaking in the command room and endangering everyone in the gate room. Don't you want a collapsible shield formed over them for emergencies?”

“That's actually a great idea.” Hank said. “Where are you getting the materials?”

“Once I had my lab set up, it's practically self sustaining. Its efficiency is ridiculous.”

“I don't understand.” Hank said.

“I take it that no one has been wondering why no trash has been leaving the base all week?” I asked.

Completely blank looks answered that question.

“In essence, I have an atom harvester. Toss something in, it breaks down into component atoms, then they can be recombined into other things.”

Everyone was quiet for several minutes as they thought about that.

“How big is it?” Hank eventually asked.

“After it was assembled and programmed, it came out to be the size of a garbage dumpster.” I said and once again they looked surprised. “It seemed appropriate, considering what it's being used for.”

“Can you make another one?” Hank asked, pointedly.

“Sure. I'll need a few days after we get back from the mission to fabricate it and set it up.”

“What can you set it for?” Daniel asked.

“The default I've set it for is steel.” I said and they gasped. “It's not that difficult. A few electrons switched here and there, some added components for the right building blocks, and out pops an inch thick square steel plate about a foot long on each side. It's just modified iron with carbon atoms mixed in with a few other chemicals.”

“You're making steel plates a foot square from garbage?” Jack asked.

“Actually, it's not just food waste and things. Everything that the base throws out goes into it.” I said.

“I threw out an old suitcase last week.” Jack said.

“I think I made two plates out of that. Metal always makes more when combined with the miscellaneous atoms the atom harvester collects.”

“Can it make anything?” Carolyn asked.

“Well, no. It can't make plutonium out of paper coffee cups.”

“You know what I mean.”

“I can set it for a few types of fabric, most basic metals or combinations, and liquids.” I said and didn't tell them that it was one of the standard recycling machines inside all automated droid factories. “It's not that sophisticated. I also use the run-off and excess waste to combine into concrete blocks that I've been storing for repairs in walls and barricades.”

Hank's face beamed a smile. “John, you get me one of those things by the end of the week and I can guarantee that you'll be set for life.”

“I don't really need the money, so sure. I'll find some charity that can use it.” I said and he nodded. “I'm also halfway finished making another bacta tank setup. I'll need another week for the accompanying equipment.”

“You're making another one?” Dr. Fraiser and Carolyn asked at the same time. The one we had was booked up for the next two months already.

“Thanks to the General's offer to set space aside for me, I've got room for two more tanks. I'll have all four ready by the end of the month.”

“Heaven have mercy.” Dr. Fraiser whispered. “You still claim that we can't make the bacta ourselves?”

“Unfortunately. As far as I know, the planet I received the base materials from doesn't exist anymore.”

“Well, damn.” She said with a sigh.

“I've got enough to perpetuate itself, so we'll always have a small amount of it being produced. Mass producing it just isn't possible. Yet, anyway. I'm looking into it.”

“Geez, what else are you doing?” Daniel asked.

“How's the reading coming along, Daniel?” I asked instead of answering.

“It's entirely fascinating! A galactic standard language that anyone can learn, no matter what your starting language is!”

“He translated that pamphlet for me.” Samantha said. “Would it really take a year to learn the programming needed to put the equipment together?”

“The guys in the tech department are already working on it.” I said. “I can honestly say that they are as eager about learning a new programming language as Daniel is about learning ancient languages.”

“I told you they knew their stuff.” Carolyn said and looked at my shoulders. “Where are your little friends?”

“Mapping out the SGC for me.” I said and slid a datapad across the table to her. “You wouldn't believe what an old base like this really has inside of it.”

Hank couldn't resist and stood to look over his daughter's shoulder. “I believe a few of those areas are classified.”

“Only for humans.” I joked and Carolyn smiled at me for tweaking her father. “You can have the datapad. The map is on the new main server.”

“New main server?” Samantha asked.

“I've been updating the base's computers and giving them incredible firewalls and protections. The old ones were... pathetic, really. My security device hacked it in barely a minute.”

“You have a hacking device?” A few people asked.

“Sure. How else would I infiltrate and take over security systems?”

No one responded to that.

“Is that how you knew about us?” Samantha asked.

“No. I've had knowledge of you and your travels for years.” I said and her eyes widened. “I'm not going to bother telling you about your father and how he's worried about doing his best as a liaison with the Tok'ra.”

Samantha looked astonished that I even knew about the man.

“I should warn you that he's going to mellow out and also become more arrogant because of the Goa'uld.”

Samantha cursed under her breath and I ignored it, as did everyone else.

I stood and walked over to her to put a hand on her shoulder. “I'm sorry I didn't show up before now.”

Samantha sighed and looked up at my face. “It's not like you could have done anything about what happened.”

I glanced at Dr. Fraiser and she blushed and looked down at the table. “I suppose telling you won't help much, now that it doesn't matter.”

“Tell me what?”

“The bacta can reverse the damage caused by cancer.”

Samantha cursed out loud this time and no one commented on it.

“Like I said, I'm sorry.” I gave her shoulder a squeeze. “On that sad note, we have a mission to prep for.”

“Yes. I need to get out of here and do something.” Samantha said and stood. “General. Gentlemen. Ladies.” She said and strode from the room.

“Um... dismissed.” Hank said and a few people chuckled as they all stood.

“Can I walk with you down to the locker rooms?” I asked Carolyn.

“Are you going to make another pass at me?” Carolyn asked.

“Only if it's necessary.” I said with a crooked smile.

“That's a yes, then.” Carolyn said and I chuckled as I waved at the door. She nodded and we left the room.

We shared light banter and I did offer to cook her a home-cooked meal if she ever decided to accept my date invitation.

“I suppose you know my favorite food already.” Carolyn said.

I shook my head. “My knowledge isn't that extensive. I didn't know your favorite color was blue, for instance.”

Carolyn smiled. “It's actually pink.”

“Ha! I knew you were playing it up for the guys.” I said and grinned at her. “Thanks for that, by the way. It made the whole thing a lot more fun and relaxed.”

“You shared a lot more than they realized.” Carolyn said. “The time needed to gather that much knowledge to do all the things you do, can't really be achieved by someone that's only around 25.”

“I'm physically 25.” I said and gave her my best innocent smile.

“Ha!” Carolyn said and smacked my arm. “The rejuvenation potential for the bacta would make anyone over a certain age, look young again.”

I gave her a pointed look. “You came to that conclusion already?”

“Right after our first customer and you gave me the datapad to read about the miracle juice.”

“That figures.” I chuckled. “It took me years to work out how to do it.”

Carolyn stopped walking and I turned to face her. “You actually did it?”

“Discovered the fountain of youth? Yes.” I said and she stared at me.

“How old are you?”

“Do you really want to know that?” I asked.

“If I'm ever going to accept your invitation, then yes.”

“I thought I was nearing about two thousand years old.” I said and she caught her breath. “I'm actually nearing two million.”

“Two... two million.” Carolyn whispered.

“I don't remember any of that. Only the last two millennia.” I said and she didn't look any less shocked. “It's not like I can go back in my memories past what I remember to find out what happened, either.”

“Good god, the things you could have done in over two million years.” Carolyn said.

“I can only hope that I was a good person.” I said and she looked surprised. “I told you what I remember. I was born and grew up on a farm in Kansas.”

“Almost two thousand years ago.” Carolyn said.

“Relatively.” I said and she raised her eyebrows. “It was on Earth. Just not on this Earth. The years crisscross all over, too. On my first world, or I believed was my first world, I grew up through the seventies and the eighties.”

“Which is almost perfect for this world, because the dates almost match up.” Carolyn said.

“As does most of our common general knowledge. There are just little odds and ends that I've experienced and you haven't. Like movie details and movies released.”

“I thought that was odd for such things to be the same and so different at the same time.”

“It's odd for me, too. You've never seen some of the best action films ever released! I feel so bad for you.”

Carolyn laughed and we entered the elevator. “We don't have to go to the locker room for the gun, do we?”

“No.” I said and pulled it out from behind my back, holster and all. I quickly showed her how it worked. “I just wanted an excuse to spend a bit of time alone with you... and maybe tease you with a bit of a strip show.”

“That's supposed to be my job.” Carolyn said with a smile and then realized what she said. “Dammit! Forget I said that!”

I laughed. “Not on your life, doctor.” I said as the elevator doors opened. “That comment is going to keep me all warm and tingly inside for quite some time.”

Carolyn glared at me and I hit the button to pause the elevator, turned to her, and slipped my arms around her. Her glare faded as she looked into my eyes. She knew what was coming and she didn't turn her head or tried to move away.

I bent down slightly and kissed her like I had been in love with her for years. It actually dredged up memories of Padme, just because of the height similarity, and I let some of that out as I let Carolyn feel what it could be like with me as a partner.

I broke the kiss and she kept her eyes closed. “I'll see you when I get back, Carolyn.”

Carolyn opened her eyes and looked into mine. She didn't say anything and only nodded.

I let her go and hit the elevator release button and then went to the locker room to suit up. None of the guys said anything as I quickly dressed and grabbed the proper gear for a new world excursion. As we walked towards the gate room, I held a hand out and both the squirrel and the sparrow landed on my arm.

“That's both cool and freaky.” Daniel said as they moved up to stand on either of my shoulders.

“Just wait until you see them in action.” I said and he looked skeptical. “You'll see.”

We entered the gate room and had a short briefing from the current command crew in the control room.

“Gate activation in three... two... one. Final chevron locked. Gate initiated.” A voice over the speakers said.

I watched as the cool water-like effect splurged out, like something heavy was dropped into a pool, then it flowed back and settled into what looked like slightly wavy water.

“Senior members first. Newbies last.” Jack said and gave me a pointed look.

“Not a problem, Colonel.” I said and then grinned. “Women and children always go first, anyway.”

Someone in the control room chuckled and Samantha clapped a hand over her mouth to stop her laugh.

Jack stared at me for several seconds, then he smiled. “I have to admit that was a good comeback.”

“Thank you, sir.” I said. “I'll try to keep it to a minimum from now on. That was just too easy.”

Samantha couldn't stop her muffled laugh and then cleared her throat.

Jack nodded and led the way up and stepped into the gate.

“Don't dawdle.” Samantha said to me and went through. Daniel went next and then Teal'C stepped in.

I didn't bother trying to play with it or anything or hovered near the event horizon. I just stepped right into it and I felt my body jerk. With no discernible time passing, like every other person that used the wormhole, I was suddenly on the other side of the wormhole.

I quickly moved away from the Stargate to clear the way for the team's arrival. If I was found here first, Jack would be pissed. So, I cheated. I put on an invisibility cloak and stepped over to the DHD, or Dial Home Device. I touched it and gained it, then realized I could touch the Stargate as well. Not while activated, though. That was a mistake just waiting to blow up my brain.

I poised myself to step into the right spot to pretend to arrive and looked around while I waited for the team to arrive. “Oh, crap. It's the Ancient Archive.”

It was just a medium sized circular room with smooth walls and no exits. I quickly cast the See-through Walls spell and gasped. The archive was in the basement of a huge museum of Ancient artifacts. I couldn't cast the spell through the transparent wall to see if there was anything past the building, though. I cancelled the spell just in time as Jack stepped out of the Stargate.

Jack glanced around as he took a stance that screamed 'ready to fire'. Samantha came out next and she quickly did the same thing, except she was ready to investigate something.

Daniel was next and stumbled on the steps, almost comically. “I'm glad John wasn't here to see that.”

“He'll figure out that you're a klutz soon enough.” Jack said with a smile as Teal'C stepped out and readied his staff weapon.

I chose that point to step out and stored the invisibility cloak. “Whew! That went by pretty fast for my first time.”

“I'm sure you'll get more satisfaction from it when you get more experience.” Jack said with a slight smirk.

I laughed. “Good one, Colonel. The general would approve as well.”

Jack nodded. “Spread out and don't touch anything.”

“There's that design on the floor.” I said as I walked back towards the gate and touched it.

The sparrow on my shoulder took off, made one circuit of the room, and landed on my shoulder again. The squirrel was right behind the bird and came right back.

“No forms of egress exist, Colonel.” I said.

“Smaller words, please.” Jack said as Daniel went over to the symbols on the floor.

“No windows or doors can be found by the scouts.” I said.

“Good to know.” Jack said and relaxed. “This seems like an intergalactic waste of time.”

“There doesn't appear to be any other markings or symbols besides what the MALP already sent.” Daniel said.

“That's only slightly disappointing.” Jack said, sarcastically.

“We can't just give up.” Daniel said. “I'm sure there has to be something here. The writing on the floor has to mean something.”

This is it. The turning point. I thought and then smiled. I guess it's time to take one for the team. “Do you mind if I take a look?”

“Be my guest.” Daniel said.

I walked over to the thing and instead of being careful around the edges, I walked right over the center of it. There was a flash of light on the far wall and a flowing form appeared and a hole formed in the center of it.

“That's new.” Jack commented.

“Teal'C? Check it out.” I said and looked down at the symbols. “Daniel, isn't that the word for ancient?”

Daniel ran over to me and gasped. “It is!” He said and took out his notepad and marked it.

“I do not see anything in the hole except a few lights.” Teal'C said.

“Huh. That's strange. Let me see.” I said and he stepped aside as I walked over to place my head inside the receptacle. I didn't fight the thing as it clamped onto my head and I kept my eyes opened while the entire repository dumped into my brain.

Thanks to my decades of mind manipulation, even though the deposit was gigantic for any normal brain, I had centuries of memories stored in mine and was well versed in parsing my mind for later perusal. I had to make it dramatic, though. I stunned myself as soon as the thing retracted and hoped that my popping through the Stargate instantly would be accepted as a side effect of the knowledge I had just gained.

*

“Uhhh.” I fake groaned as I woke up. “Did anyone get the license plate of the truck that hit me?”

“Are you all right?” Carolyn asked me.

“I'm... fine.” I said and did my best to not stare at her. It was difficult, because she had her hair down and it highlighted her face perfectly.

“You're looking at me a little oddly.”

“You're gorgeous and your hair is down.” I said and her hand went to her hair to feel it. “It's quite distracting.”

Carolyn smiled. “You are feeling fine.”

I nodded.

“I'll call the others in.” Carolyn said and walked over to the intercom.

Everyone was in the infirmary five minutes later.

“What happened?” Jack asked.

“It's a repository.” I said and only Daniel understood, if the excited look on his face was any indication. “It's a digital library of knowledge that's downloaded into the brain through visual means.”

“What's that going to do for us?” General Hank Landrey asked.

“The writing on the floor says, 'We are the Ancients. We left this repository of knowledge in the hopes that you would follow in our footsteps'.”

Daniel let out a whoop of happiness and took out his notepad to show me. “I had most of that!”

“You were confused on the 'hope' and the 'would' parts, I see.”

“Completely! The references I had weren't giving me the right connotations.” Daniel said.

“How is reading the writing going to help?” Jack asked.

I held a hand out to Daniel and he handed me the notepad and a pencil. I wrote out the equations for accurately calculating the distance between planets and star systems, then handed the notepad to Samantha. “It's base 8 math and not base 10.”

Samantha stared at the thing. “Base 8 math.”

“It's weird to think that way at first; but, if you gave a base 10 math equation to someone with a base 8 background, they would feel the same way.” I said. “Oh, and I can apparently make a power converter using current technology that will increase the base's power generation by a hundred and fifty percent.”

The general barked a laugh. “If you keep pulling things like that out, you'll have the government at your feet.”

“A lot of it is outmoded and outdated. Barely worth looking at. The tech base is ridiculous, too.”

“Ridiculous how?” Samantha asked.

“Space ships, transporters, energy weapons, and regeneration tanks.” I said and glanced at Carolyn, who nodded slightly.

“I need you to write out as much of that as you can.” Hank said. “We'll get our best people on it as soon as possible.”

“Well... about that...” I started to say.

“Please tell us you can translate it.” Daniel said.

“It's not that.” I said and smiled. “Would you like to see the information yourselves?”

They all stared at me.

“Give me a day or two to make something, then you can see what's there yourselves. It's not going to be like a computer program or anything.” I said and then chuckled. “By the way, I know a program to alter the Stargate computers and connect to gates outside of the gate's current network.”

“Which is what we would need the extra power for.” Samantha said and I nodded.

“I think your job description just added another moniker, John. Ancient Relic.” Carolyn joked.

I gave her a surprised look for a moment, then I laughed. She literally told them I was ancient in age and it went right over everyone's heads. “I'm making you a Baked Alaska for dessert.”

Carolyn smiled and nodded.

“All right, people. Get back to work.” Hank said and everyone left, except for Carolyn.

“You have to rest. Being unconscious doesn't count.” Carolyn said.

“Why not?” I asked with a smile as she pulled the sheet up to my neck.

“We did a scan of your brain and it's lit up like a Christmas tree. You need to sort out that data before it starts to cascade or overwrites anything in your normal memories.”

“You make an excellent point, dear lady.” I said and closed my eyes. “Wake me when it's time for our date tonight.”

“John, it's the next day. You missed it.” Carolyn said in a teasing voice.

It startled me and I opened my eyes to stare at her.

“You're lucky that I'm a forgiving person.”

I sighed in relief and closed my eyes again. “I really am.”

“Yes, you are.” Carolyn said and her hand lightly touched my face before she walked away.

I fell asleep with a smile on my face.

*

Over the next three weeks, we went on a few scouting missions and nothing of note happened, except on one world. The stun gun came in handy when a pack of large omnivores almost trampled SG-1. Since I had the only one, it had been up to me to take out the leaders and then snipe at the pack to divert them. Now the others always carried them, even Daniel. I gave him the pistol version like I promised.

I altered the Stargate computers, built the power booster, finished the four bacta setups, had two dates with Carolyn that were completely filled with innuendo and flirting, and I made two very large pensieves and dropped copies of a bunch of the Ancient Repository memories into them. One for general knowledge and one with medical knowledge. We didn't see Daniel again for two weeks.

Dr. Fraiser thanked me enthusiastically for that and Carolyn pulled me into a supplies closet and let me get to second base. It was the best and shortest ten minutes of my life. By the looks she gave me afterwards, she felt the same way. She had the nicest breasts I had seen in a while, and that included Velma's, which was saying something. I wasn't dumb enough to tell her about comparing them to another woman's.

I also made two matter converters for General Hank Landrey and he handed one off to the oversight committee and their tech experts for examination and the other to the President of the United States. He explained what they were, large recycling devices, and what they were set for. I wasn't surprised when I was very politely asked to make a thousand of them and would have any resources needed to do it.

*

“We've received a signal and coordinates that we believe have been sent from the Tok'ra.” General Hank Landrey said. “We've sent a MALP and it's a normal temperate world. There's also nothing close to the Stargate.”

“As usual.” Jack said. “Would it kill them to build something within a mile or so?”

I chuckled. “I can make us a collapsible land rover like the lunar modules if you want.”

Everyone stared at me.

“Are you serious?” Samantha asked.

I thought about making a joke about Sirius Black and decided I didn't want to know if they knew about Harry Potter or not. “The Stargate is huge. The MALP easily fits through and works fine on the other side. I can easily make a lightweight vehicle that can close up for transition and open for riding.”

“Is this an Ancient idea?” Hank asked.

“No, it's mine. The Ancients do have a design for a Gate Hopper that I've been trying to work out and then fabricate.”

“What's a gate hopper?” Jack asked.

“It's like a small rounded version of a Goa'uld glider. No wings, though. It's pretty much a big tube with everything shoved inside and it can transition through the gates.”

They all exchanged looks and then looked back at me.

“I want that last year.” Hank said.

“No, really?” I chuckled and he smiled. “I've been working on it. Their ideas for power distribution and safety were insanely stupid and dangerous. It's taking a lot of time to not build unintentional Naquadah bombs.”

“Been there, done that.” Samantha said with a laugh.

“Have you been reading the Ancient primers Daniel's been making?” I asked.

“Yes, and it's like reading six dimensional math.”

“So, you understand it.” I said and she smiled. “I could use your help working on the ship.”

“I could set some time aside after the mission to take a look at what you're doing.” Samantha said.

“Excellent. Gear up and head out.” Hank said. “Dismissed.”

Carolyn caught my arm as we left the meeting room, so I stopped walking and moved over to the side. “You are not to joke or flirt with her, especially when you're alone and working together.”

I put my arms around her and gave her a deep and passionate kiss.

Carolyn hugged me back and her tongue assaulted mine right back.

I broke the kiss and looked into her eyes. “I'm fiercely monogamous. Once I choose someone, almost nothing can come between us.”

“Almost nothing?” Carolyn asked.

“I had one woman fall in love with my best friend and she had been having an affair with him for quite some time. I fell into a coma when she told me and then she left me after robbing me and my business blind.”

“Oh, no.” Carolyn whispered.

“She continued the affair until my best friend died of a heart attack. I woke up from a coma and found all that out. It was a horrible time for me and I was a bit bitter about it... then I met Chloe and she made me laugh. We spent a lot of time together.”

“Did you get married?”

“Not to her until the day she died. It was her last wish, because she said she didn't want the marriage to ruin our relationship.”

Carolyn smiled. “She sounds like a great woman.”

“She was. I didn't find someone else until I had moved on to the next world.”

Carolyn looked into my eyes. “You're saying that you've found me?”

“Sometimes it's instantly and sometimes it takes time. I've been here for a while and we only just started dating. I have no interest in anyone else and I hope that my declaration of devotion isn't a turn-off for you.”

Carolyn looked thoughtful for a moment, then she smiled. “It's not a turn-off at all.”

I smiled back and gave her a quick kiss. “Now I'm running behind, thanks to you.” I said and let her go to walk down the hall.

“You'll live through the teasing.” Carolyn said with a soft laugh.

“It's worth it.” I said and waved as I went into the stairwell instead of using the elevator.

*

“I don't know how you can do that.” Daniel said to me as he came out of the Stargate. “Will I transition instantly when I've gained enough Ancient knowledge?”

“It's always possible. Who knows what the Ancients left out of their database?” I asked as my two scouts flew into the sky and ran out on swift little feet, respectively.

“True.” Daniel said and stepped up beside me and Teal'C, whom had come out first.

“What's the situation?” Jack asked as he stepped out.

“Nothing is here, Jack O'Neill.” Teal'C said.

“Well, that's just peachy.” Jack said as Samantha stepped out of the Stargate and it shut down. “I guess we just pick a direction or something and go have a look.”

“It's pretty barren.” I said and he glanced at me. “My flying scout can see for miles.”

“Oh, yeah. That's handy. Keep doing that.” Jack said.

I nodded and sent the sparrow out farther as we walked a short ways away from the Stargate. “Uh oh.”

“What is it?” Jack asked and lifted his rifle as Teal'C readied his staff.

“We've got four Goa'uld death gliders coming in. One in the lead and three behind... and they are shooting at the front one.” I said and pointed as I recalled the sparrow. I didn't want to lose Gloria's connection. I had only managed to visit once since joining the SGC and she was saddened by that. She was also ecstatic that she could come on missions with me. We talked when I was alone in my lab, too.

“An escaped prisoner, perhaps.” Teal'C offered.

“I doubt it. It's a royal glider.” I said and he stiffened. He knew what that meant.

“Let's go, people!” Jack said and we ran over to where the air-to-air fight was happening.

The lead glider was soon too damaged to continue its flight and crashed into the ground, almost right next to where we were standing. I didn't bother waiting to see if the others would follow as I ran over to the ship. I knew exactly who was inside, so I tore open the canopy and pulled out the Haymaker. I blasted Apophis right in his face and his head exploded.

“John! What the hell are you doing?” Jack asked.

“Ending a threat to humanity.” I said and dug my hand inside the body and grabbed the Goa'uld symbiote. I gained 'Generic Symbiote' and yanked the thing out. “Hey, Teal'C! Target practice on your old slave boss!”

Teal'C smiled and his staff weapon opened up as I threw the worm-like symbiote into the air.

*PSS-PEW!*

The worm-like thing was hit with the blast and exploded into a fine mist.

“Nice shot!” I exclaimed.

Teal'C closed the weapon and stood up straight with a nod. “Thank you for allowing me the final blow, John Hansen.”

“What just happened?” Jack asked.

Daniel looked at the blood mist that had floated to the ground. “I think they just killed Apophis.”

The three death gliders came in for a landing and they opened up to reveal several people. A mix of Tok'ra and Tau'ri.

“Step away from the craft.” One of them said and aimed a weapon at me.

“Not a problem. I was just making sure the host was dead.” I said and holstered my weapon as I walked over to them. “I would like to formally apologize for appropriating your hunt for personal reasons.”

One of them ran over to the glider to see the mangled body. “I don't sense him.”

“If you're talking about the symbiote, it's right there.” Daniel said and pointed to the blood splatter.

The others aliens went over to it and took out several devices to scan the remains. I used the distraction to touch the working death gliders. I could easily adapt one into a Gate Hopper and the systems were much more stable with using both the metal and liquid forms of Naquadah. If I was going to make a shuttle, why not have weapons on it, right?

“He's really dead.” One of them said and turned to look at me. “You will be honored among our peoples.”

“That's not necessary.” I said. “Once we take them all out and try to fix the mess they've made of the galaxy with their warmongering, then you can throw me a little party or something.”

Daniel coughed to stop his laugh as Samantha shook her head.

“You fight for the cause?” One of the others asked.

“I'm fighting for humanity's freedom from oppression and for its survival. Our mutual goals to remove the system lords are in alignment, so technically, yes I do.”

One of them men stepped forward and held a hand out to me. “Welcome to the fight.”

I chuckled and shook his hand, gaining both a 'Generic Host' and a 'Generic Tok'ra Symbiote'. “You have our address. Don't be strangers.”

The man smiled and nodded before he and the others went to their ships. I walked back over to the SG-1 team and we watched the death gliders take off and disappear into the sky.

“What the hell just happened?” Jack asked.

“We helped the Tok'ra deal a major blow to the system lords. If they can take down the best of them like this, the others are going to start getting nervous.” I said.

“Oh, great. Nervous system lords are everything we need right now.” Jack said.

“It's not so bad, because they are in different galactic sectors. They're going to fight among themselves for Apophis' territories, probably for months or years, assuming the Tok'ra and Tau'ri haven't already staked claims.” I said. “On the plus side, Earth is not inside one of his territories.”

Jack nodded and looked around. “I wonder if we should salvage the glider for parts.”

I chuckled. “I would normally say that's a great idea, Colonel. Unfortunately, in this case, it should stay here as evidence. You know they are going to come looking for what happened here.”

“I'll send word back through the gate.” Daniel said and walked off.

“John, send your scout out again. See if there's any reason to go out any farther than this.” Jack said.

I nodded and the sparrow took off and flew straight and away as it soared up into the sky. By the time Daniel came back, the sparrow had shown me that there was nothing for miles and miles.

“Let's go home and mark this place appropriately in the system.” Jack said and we all walked back to the Stargate. The sparrow landed on my shoulder just as I reached it and I pet the bird before stepping through.

I would take Jack's advice and mark it appropriately, for terraforming with my abilities. Once I thought that, I immediately thought of another project that I should get to as soon as possible. Earth was getting a little crowded with people, so having another planet in the same solar system to live on would be much more viable than letting the secret of the Stargate out and making colonies on other worlds.

For now, Mars would be my little side project. I had the atmosphere generators and terraforming machines from the Alliance and would deploy a bunch of them all over the planet. With a bit of time, the changes would be significant. I couldn't do much about the weaker gravity and would have to work around it. The atmosphere would be about a third more thicker than Earth's when it was done.

I needed to put in a requisition for a weekend off to get out there and have a little fun.

*

Another mission popped up for the SG-1 team and I went along, just because it was my job and I liked getting out of the base for a break occasionally. It wasn't until we entered the very old looking laboratory that I realized what we were looking at.

“Don't touch anything!” I exclaimed and an old chuckle came from behind one of the draperies.

An old man hobbled out and gave us furtive looks, because Jack, Samantha, and I had guns trained on him. “I am unarmed.”

“I see two arms.” I joked and he laughed.

Teal'C stiffened slightly. “You are the one called Ma'Chello, are you not?”

“Do I know you?” the old man asked.

“You do not. I have seen images of you, though your face has not seen as many years.”

“Before this can go on any further, I can offer to restore you to health and youth.” I said and everyone turned and stared at me. “It's true. I've advanced the bacta tech to the point that I can shave decades off of someone.”

“That would have been nice to know before now.” Jack said.

“It's never come up.” I said and they all glared at me. “It hasn't. No one is old at the base and I spend all of my time there. I also don't hear about anyone older. How would that even come up in conversation? Excuse me, if you know how to reverse biological aging in a person, let me know, will you? You do? Oh, sign me up.”

“You can give me my youth back?” The man asked.

“If you're willing to spend a few months inside a deprivation chamber filled with fluid, eat through a feeding tube, and have nothing to do or watch.”

The old man cackled a laugh. “I've spent much longer here in seclusion.” He said and pointed to a tablet-like device. “That has all my research and plans for technology and devices to deal with the Goa'uld. It's encoded with my own brand of cipher and only I can decode it.”

“So, trade for a trade?” I asked and the man smiled. “Can you give us a primer while you're being pickled?”

The man cackled a laugh. “I like you.”

“Thanks.” I said and touched the tablet. I gained it and looked around at everything. “Are you going to pack all this up and bring it with you?”

“That's not necessary. If you restore me, I can continue my fight against the Goa'uld. With my plans, you can make your own devices to help in the struggle.”

“That's fine with me.” I said and held a hand out to the man.

He shook it and nodded. “We have an agreement.”

“I think you're going to enjoy having someone to share the burden with.” I said and he smiled as I pulled something out of my backpack and unfolded it to reveal a wheelchair.

“Such a nice innovation.” He said and sat like a king on a throne. “Onward, my friend! The death of the System Lords await!”

We all left the lab and returned to SGC. General Hank Landrey was more than happy to have a new member in the fight against the Goa'uld. I quickly had Ma'Chello tanked in my secluded room and left a medbot there to monitor him. No one else was allowed in to see him and no one objected.

*

I was finally granted a weekend off. It was a double long weekend with both Friday and Monday as holidays, so I was a little antsy to get going on Thursday night after my shift.

“Carolyn, are you busy this weekend?” I asked her when both of our day shifts were over.

“Not particularly.” Carolyn said.

“I had huge plans that I wanted to get done this weekend and I was wondering if you wanted to come along.” I said and she gave me a slightly incredulous look. “Yes, I was including a date with you in that.”

“Really?” Carolyn asked.

“I was going to call tomorrow and ask for either that night or Saturday.” I said and she nodded. “Now that I've been granted leave to get off of the base completely for four whole days, I want you to come with me.”

“What are you planning to do?”

“That depends on if you want to eat lunch on the Moon, on Mars, or on a moon around Saturn.”

Carolyn blinked her eyes at me for several moments. “Did you just ask me to eat a meal on the moon?”

“It would be under a protective dome no matter where we eat; but, yes.”

“How?”

“As a general rule, people usually use their fingers and utensils to eat.”

Carolyn huffed and smacked my arm. “You know what I meant!”

I smiled. “I may have access to a spaceship already.”

“You don't!” Carolyn gasped.

“I had to get to other planets somehow.” I said and she shook her head.

“We could be flying around the solar system right now.”

“If you want to. That is why I asked you.” I said.

“I meant a general we and not you and me specifically.” Carolyn said.

“I'm not offering it to the government or letting anyone except you know that I can travel to the planets we gate to on a ship instead.”

“Why not?”

“It takes a hell of a lot longer and there's nothing really of note between here and there. Just a lot of space and blackness.” I said. “It does have some great views when you stumble across a nebula or something.”

“How... why...”

“I don't have a map of the galaxy and all the anomalies in it, so flying around and making one for the navicomputer and the hyperdrive to use, will be a direct pain in the ass.”

“A hyperdrive.” Carolyn whispered. “You have a faster than light engine.”

“Yes, and it literally won't work without proper coordinates and directions to get to the planets. You can literally fly through a star before you realize it and then you'll be dead. Not to mention black holes, spacial anomalies, asteroid fields, rogue moons, comets, and anything else that's just floating around out there.”

Carolyn stared at me and looked at a loss for words.

“So, a nice leisurely flight around the solar system is all I can offer safely.”

“We... we can... contact...”

“I've got a death glider's systems to play with. Their equations don't work with the navicomputer's at all. It's why I'm working so hard to get the Gate Hopper working.”

“Is Sam helping you much?” Carolyn asked.

“We haven't had much collaboration. She just takes a pile of stuff from me, leaves, and then comes back when she's worked on it.” I said. “It's a bit frustrating, actually. I'd like to just talk to her and maybe we could work it out a lot faster with the both of us working on the same problems at the same time.”

“Maybe she feels the same way as I do.” Carolyn said and my eyes widened. “I meant about not giving you a chance to flirt shamelessly with her.”

“Ohhh. Okay. That makes a lot more sense.” I said. “So, do you want to pack a bag and come with me for the weekend?”

Carolyn thought about it for a full minute. “Am I allowed to tell my father where I'm going?”

“Only if you're not specific about the destination.”

Carolyn paused for a moment and then nodded.

“Great. Meet me at the top of the mountain beside the main observation point.” I said and gave her a kiss and walked off. I rode the elevator up to the top of the mountain and nodded to the guards there. I shook their hands and handed them a small gold bar each. Both men nodded back and I went out the observation post's external door.

I created an automated Firefly and wasn't worried about witnesses. The cameras were on a loop already and the guards agreed to not 'see' anything they saw. I could have just left normally, except I wanted to get out of the atmosphere as soon as possible. Pretending to go somewhere else for a more secure location than an area that was already secured, was a waste of time.

“Hey, girl.” I said and walked up the loading ramp. “I'm going to call you Persephone.”

“Hello, John.” The female voice said. “That's a nice name. Thank you.”

“I'm sorry that I have to limit you to intra-system flight.” I said as I entered the cockpit and added a large couch seat for Carolyn and myself. I was tempted to add flight controls and decided that I wasn't ready to create another ship like Serenity.

“It's too dangerous without proper star maps, so it's okay.” Persephone said. “Are you going to send out Crybabys to start mapping everything in the system?”

“Now that's a good idea.” I said and sat down to check the comfort. “We can stop off at the dark side of the moon and I'll set up one of the automated factories.”

“I suggest also setting up the harvesters in the asteroid belt as well.” Persephone suggested.

“Why not? It's not like the asteroids are doing anything besides floating there.” I said and then thought about that. “Actually, can you have the sensors and scanners going? Link them into the navicomputer and start projecting some trajectories. We can start by getting the harvesters to bring the more active asteroids into a cleaner flight path.”

“Linking to the satellites and automated security drones in orbit.” Persephone said. “Okay, we're locked into the observation satellites and the telescope databases.”

“What's it look like?” I asked and a display popped up on the wall for me to look at.

“It's a mess.” Persephone said and I chuckled, because how else would you describe a floating rock field in space? “We've got at least six near miss asteroids to redirect.”

“We'll do it after Carolyn decides where she wants to eat.”

“I'm still trying to decide if this is all real or not.” Carolyn said from behind me.

“Oh, damn! I got caught up in checking the system and forgot to go back out to meet you.” I said and stood up to take her bags. “I'm sorry about that.”

Carolyn gave me an odd look. “You're planning on protecting the Earth. I can't really fault you for not walking down a ramp to get me.”

I chuckled and stuck her bags with sticking charms on the floor at the side of the cockpit. “I should tell you that won't happen again if I don't want you to think that saving the Earth will take priority when it comes to you.”

Carolyn gave me another odd look. A slightly different one this time. “What if I told you that I wouldn't date you if you believed that was true?”

I laughed. “I'm not stupid. I won't let the Earth burn just to spend time with you.”

“That's good to know.” Carolyn said.

I waved at the couch. “I'll have Persephone check the local flight patterns and plot a safe course out of the atmosphere.”

“We're going to hit something no matter what route we take.” Persephone said. “The debris in orbit is a disgrace to space-faring vessels.”

“Actually, that's a good point. I should pop a harvester out in orbit, too.”

“Don't forget to change the program from cannibalizing older tech or it'll clear the whole place out.” Persephone reminded me.

“Bwahahaha! I totally forgot about that! Thanks, Persephone.”

“You're welcome, John.” Persephone said as I created a harvester and a security device to start making the proper changes.

“You're really an AI?” Carolyn asked as she sat on the couch.

“Fully recognized and accredited. I have rights and privileges in every Galactic registered planetary system.” Persephone said.

“Excuse me?” Carolyn asked, confused.

“The last place I used a Firefly was a galaxy wide civilization that spanned 120 light years.” I said.

“But... our galaxy...”

“Is only about 100 light years across. That's why Persephone feels a bit constrained without a proper galactic map.” I said and finished with the reprogramming. I touched the harvester and gained a new copy.

“Are you serious?” Carolyn asked.

“Actually, I really should be launching automated satellite and communication drones on the worlds I visit. It would help with the telemetry and get a great start on making an actual map for navigation.” I said and sat down beside her. “I'd have to reveal a lot more to the team than I have already, though.”

“You would be opening a huge can of worms with the government if they knew you could do all this stuff.” Carolyn said.

“I know. That's why I wanted to get as much alternate technology as I could from this universe. It lets me explain away a lot of things and it counts as legitimate findings for the SGC as well. It's a win-win situation all around.”

Carolyn gave me a skeptical look. “You know a lot about everything, right?”

“More than I should and less than I'd like.” I said.

“All right.” Carolyn said and tilted her head slightly. “When were we supposed to make a Gate Hopper to use through the Stargates?”

“You weren't.” I said and she looked surprised. “You actually find one eventually and reverse engineer it. Me finding the designs in the Ancient Repository just let me get a huge jump-start on how things should be progressing. It really is a flying bomb without some major refitting and redesign.”

“My father is going to want one... or a few... of the original design.” Carolyn whispered.

“I know. I also know how to modify them to increase the explosive yield about ten times.” I said and she caught her breath. “No, I won't tell them that until it's needed. If it's needed.”

Carolyn relaxed against me. “I don't know if I can take many more shocks, John.”

“I have a flight path.” Persephone said.

I put an arm around Carolyn's shoulders and smiled. “Give us a show, Persephone.”

“I would be delighted!” Persephone said, happily.

I cast an illusion of a Harrier jet over the ship and no one even looked as we lifted off and then shot up into the sky.

“Oh, my god.” Carolyn whispered as we were pressed slightly into the couch and flew at a ridiculous speed through the atmosphere.

The sky started to fade a couple of minutes later and I changed the illusion to show space just before Persephone took a sharp turn and just missed a huge telecommunications satellite. Small pings kept ringing through the cockpit as we flew along the lower satellite orbit and then we went higher and flew by the International Space Station.

“Here's a good spot to drop off a few harvesters.” I said and Persephone came to a stop right beside the space station and turned us around to look down at the Earth.

“Sweet lord.” Carolyn whispered.

“Wait until we're out far enough to see the whole big blueberry.” I said and she gave me a questioning look. “It looks like a slightly frosty blueberry with the clouds covering the land. You'll see it in a few minutes.”

Carolyn nodded and I stood up and walked over to the cockpit's viewport and made six harvesters. I cast illusions over them to make them look like empty space and they went to work. I made six more and let them go off.

“I think a dozen should be good for now.” I said and sat back down on the couch. “We can check their progress when we get back from Mars.”

“I thought we were eating on the moon.” Carolyn said.

“Is that where you want to go?” I asked and she nodded. “Persephone, take us to an observation point for a few minutes, then to the moon.”

“Of course, John. We'll be in a perfect spot in a moment.” Persephone said and turned us away from the planet and flew just outside the orbit of the planet and turned us back around.

“Wow.” Carolyn said as she stared at the Earth. “It really does look like a blueberry.”

We sat there for ten minutes and just watched the Earth. We both knew that it was such a small place for all of humanity to be trapped on and we were both working to fix that.

Our next stop was the moon and I had Persephone do a slow fly-by of the remains of the other landers and things left there.

“I'm really tempted to clean this mess up, too.” I said and Carolyn gave my cheek a kiss.

I used the Force to touch the lunar lander vehicle there and gained a copy of it. I would have a collapsible version for the teams by the end of next week. With a change of the power supply, the gear ratio, and the passenger protection added, it would be something that all the teams were going to want. That it would make a great dune buggy and be fun to drive, was just a bonus.

“I don't see any lunch here.” Carolyn said as she looked around the cockpit.

“You said you wanted to eat on the moon, my dear. That's what we are going to do.” I said and her eyes widened. “Persephone, take us to the dark side.”

The ship chuckled at the pun and flew us across the sunlight's edge and landed just close enough to benefit from the heat and not suffer from the glare.

“I'll be right back.” I said and left the cockpit. I donned a space suit and left the ship through a small airlock at the top of the ship and hopped down to land on the soft dusty dirt. I gained a colorless land from it and used that and a dozen other magic to convert that plot of land into a huge dome-covered greenhouse building from Naboo.

It was used in the less hospitable areas where predators and things always tried to damage the farmer's crops. I had changed the contents of this one to have lots of everything that a person from Earth could eat. With its creation, I now had fifteen hundred and thirty six of the things and I was never going to run out of food. I set up a nice picnic with a view of the moon's surface and walked over to the entrance hatch.

I quickly made a connecting tunnel and a docking ring for the ship to attach to, which was easy to adapt from the space station plans and parts I had copies of. Once it was in place, I checked the computers and made the right adjustments, then I initiated the equalization pressure procedure and waited. When it was done, I tapped my communicator.

“Okay, Persephone. You can safely dock.” I said and dissolved the spacesuit.

“Thank you.” Persephone said and lifted off slightly and slid into the right position and landed. The docking ring extended and attached to the hull, created a seal, and settled.

I walked up to the crew hatch and opened it, only to see a stunned Carolyn standing there. “Are you all right?”

“John, you just... I saw you...”

“Yes, I made this for you.” I said and took her hand. “Let's have lunch and we can discuss a few other things I'm planning for the weekend.”

Carolyn nodded and let me lead her inside the very beautiful domed farming habitat. “This is amazing.”

“It is, and it isn't.” I said and she looked surprised. “It can produce quite a bit of food; but, it's limited by the air, the light through the dome, and the temperature. It costs almost as much energy to maintain as a fairly large reactor.”

“But... it's self-contained.”

“It is. That's both good and bad. It's great for small areas and a few families. It's horrible for expansion or feeding more than two dozen people.”

Carolyn sat down on the blanket I had set out. “Can't you just make it bigger?”

“Easily. The problems grow just as easily. Some exponentially, like the power requirements.” I said. “It's one of the reasons there's not a dome covered city on the moon already, even though Earth has had the technology to make bio-domes for decades.”

Carolyn thought about that. “I think I see. The more people around, the more domes that are needed. The moon, or any inhospitable place, doesn't have the resources to sustain anything, so it all has to be brought in or created within the small habitat.”

“That's it exactly.” I said and gave her cheek a kiss. “The environment itself has to be changed to create sustainability.”

Carolyn chuckled. “Good luck terraforming the moon's surface. There's nothing there for anything to be made, except maybe concrete from all the space dust and meteor remains.”

“That's what I would make with it, actually. I can set up automated factories and they'll skim off the top few hundred feet of the moon and convert it into building materials. It would revolutionize the brick industry overnight.” I smiled. “Who wouldn't want a moon-brick house or business?”

Carolyn blinked her eyes and stared at me. “You're serious.”

“If I planned to do it, yes. I don't have plans to do that, though.” I said and she seemed to relax. “What I do plan on doing is terraforming Mars into a habitable planet.”

Carolyn's mouth dropped open.

“It'll take a few years, even with me converting hundreds of plots of land into atmospheric condensers and then two hundred into terraforming factories.”

“You can... you're going to...”

“I know the Stargate and SGC need to stay a secret from the public for now. That doesn't mean I shouldn't ensure that there's another planet, and maybe a moon or two, that are suitable for humans to live on.” I said and she shivered a little. “Are you cold? I set the temperature to the same as the SGC.”

“No, I'm not cold.” Carolyn said and fell silent as she started to eat the food of the picnic.

I didn't try to get her to speak and started eating myself. The sandwiches and salads were quite good and she didn't comment about them or said anything at all. In fact, she seemed to be thinking really hard about something. I refrained from trying to see what she was thinking about, because I had given her a lot to consider.

“No one can see us here, can they?” Carolyn asked when she finished eating.

“We're just past the curvature that a telescope from Earth can see. I didn't want the sun glinting off the dome and giving it away.”

Carolyn nodded and stood up. She pulled the pins out of her hair and shook her head for a second as she ran her fingers through it. She gave me a pointed look and then started to unbutton her blouse.

My eyes widened and she smiled as she left the last button hooked and opened her cuffs.

“I want to be the first to have sex on the moon.” Carolyn said as she pulled off her top. “And on Mars.”

I shook myself and jumped to my feet. “Of course, my lady.” I said and yanked off all of my clothing before she had her skirt halfway off.

This made her laugh and she saw the bed form behind me. She licked her lips and held her arms out for me. I gently picked her up and carried her to the bed and made love to her as she looked out at the view on the moon. She really, really liked both things.

After a short rest and I created some droids to maintain the place, we left it there and flew over to Mars. Carolyn was just as enthusiastic the second time as the view out through the dome was of the famous 'Face on Mars' landmark. From the ground, it just looked like a series of flat peaked mountains. She loved the view, anyway.

After a short rest again, I left her there to look over the satellite feed from the ones I put in orbit. With her right there on the planet, the response was instantaneous and she enjoyed seeing something that even the scientists on Earth that were devoted to the subject, hadn't seen this close or this well. I suggested sending them the video anonymously, just to see what they would say.

When Carolyn stopped laughing, she decided that she would do just that under a pseudonym, or fake name. She would have to make it all before I made the modifications, however. I delayed my plans for half an hour for her to get enough recordings and things, including samples of dirt, rock, and ice from the polar caps. The samples were kept in a refrigeration unit to maintain their temperature, too.

Then my extensive work began. I knew that some of the Mars storms were near planet-wide, so I made sure to put the terraforming lands in strategic spots to change the planet's surface into livable land and the atmospheric condensers in the proper airflow areas to change the air. Letting the existing weather patterns to assist the planet to change, was the smartest thing I could do.

Normally, the Alliance would seed the planet with a dozen of them and let it stew for a few decades. I didn't want to wait decades, so I used two hundred of them and spread them all over the planet. I didn't run the numbers, so I wasn't sure how long it would take to finish. I guessed only a few years, considering the lack of liquid water on the planet's surface.

I would come back when it was nearly done and add in lakes and things to help. When I returned to the Naboo farming dome, Carolyn was naked again and tackled me to the bed. She had watched the changes I made and apparently liked that I hadn't been lying or joking. I was really terraforming Mars and that made her quite happy.

Carolyn couldn't wait for it to finish and begged to keep the security device to monitor it. Told her that I would need to stop on the way home and drop off a few automated communications stations for her to keep watching it in real-time. I found out she was talented with hand-jobs after I said that.

The stop at the asteroid belt between Mars and Jupiter was uneventful. I made hundreds of harvesters and seeded them all along the ring of floating rocks. Despite there being billions of them, they seemed very far apart. Persephone found the troublesome ones and we easily adjusted their paths to keep Earth safe, which made Carolyn happy once more.

I tried to tell her that being the first to have sex in the asteroid belt wasn't really a goal she needed, considering there was another asteroid belt just on the edge of the solar system. She didn't care about that and had her way with me anyway. I did not tell her that we would be coming back in a few months to go out to that asteroid belt to do the same thing. It would take a week and not a weekend though.

Space was a huge place and it took time to traverse it. At least, it would until I realized that I could place Stargates in strategic areas. Creating a local Stargate network would be my next project. I would have to do it in secret, though.

I couldn't let the SGC know that I could make my own Stargates. If that ever got out... yeah, every country would want one and would be messing things up all over the galaxy.

Persephone flew us back to Mars and Carolyn was surprised at the changes that had already happened.

“Apparently, having hundreds of terraformers was much faster than only a dozen, go figure.” I joked and she smacked my arm, then she kissed me.

“The numbers estimate only five years and it'll be a blueberry, too!” Carolyn said.

“After I add the water.”

“That reminds me! With the new footage, we can have the computers model out what the planet would look like with water in all the dried out low lying areas!”

“Go ahead and have fun. We have a few hours before we need to get back to the base.”

“Wait, the weekend is over already?” Carolyn asked.

“We flew around half of the entire solar system. I'm surprised we're back this soon, actually.” I said and Persephone flew us away from the planet towards Earth and I dropped several automated communication satellites along the way.

“I guess that's true.” Carolyn said and sat beside me on the couch. “I don't know if I can sleep tonight.”

“My door is always open. Unless it's closed. Then you need to open it before coming in.” I said.

She huffed and leaned against me. “That wasn't very funny.”

“I've had about four hours of sleep in two days. Give me a break.” I said.

“Why haven't you been sleeping?”

“Too busy. I can sleep tonight after you have your wicked way with me and exhaust me again.”

“I haven't been that bad.” Carolyn said with a slight frown.

“I wasn't complaining, my dear.” I said and gave her a passionate kiss. “I was just warning you that when I close my eyes tonight, they aren't opening again until mid-morning at least.”

Carolyn smiled and nodded.

Persephone slowed us down near Earth orbit. “I'll need a couple of minutes to check the flight path for landing.”

“We'll check the harvesters and see how they're doing.” I said and Carolyn brought up the connection. “Well, look at them go.”

“They really are making short work of the area around the station.” Carolyn said. “I doubt you'll need any more than what's already there to clean up the rest of the Earth's near-space area.”

“I agree. We can let them float around and continue gathering up the debris for as long as necessary.”

“I have a flight path.” Persephone said.

“Take us in and I'll changed the illusion when we enter the atmosphere.” I said and did just that as the ship dove down and flew at a fast speed until she hit the atmosphere. She slowed down and didn't rattle our teeth as we entered the rougher air turbulence. The trip back to base seemed anticlimactic in comparison to the long weekend we just had.

Carolyn didn't even pretend to go back to her room as we went down in the elevator right to my room and I put her bags down and then we rolled around in bed for an hour before we cuddled up and held each other.

“You're really helping to save humanity, you know.” Carolyn said.

“I hope so.” I said and kissed her cheek. “It's kind of pointless for me to be here if I'm not going to do anything about the situation that the SGC, and humanity, are in right now.”

“You could have been doing this since you arrived here.” Carolyn said.

“No, actually. I couldn't.” I said and she turned onto her side to look into my eyes. “As soon as I tried anything too showy, I would have been right back in that holding cell again. No one would be listening to my opinion, asking my opinion, or even paying me any mind if I warned them about anything.”

Carolyn looked thoughtful for several moments. “I think... yes, you're right. You had to leave to prove your point. What you said you would do, you did do.”

“Exactly. They had to see that my words meant something besides the sounds they make coming out of my mouth.”

Carolyn smiled. “That's what most words are.”

“Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak!” I said and she made a snorting sound, then she laughed.

“I loved that book!” Carolyn said. “It's too bad that the author quit when no one wanted to buy it the first time she tried to sell it.”

“What happened?” I asked and managed to not sigh.

“A new intern at Scholastic found the old submissions years later and read the thing, loved it, and brought it directly to the boss. It was published and sold thousands of copies. It was so popular that they sold the rights to a normal publishing company and they reprinted it as a special edition. I have that edition and it explains in the introduction what happened.”

“It must have been a good story if they gave the reason.” I commented.

“Apparently, the first manuscript reader hated anything to do with magic and discarded it. They didn't want to warp the minds of young kids with flights of fancy and nonsensical things.” Carolyn said.

I just stared at her with wide eyes because that was unbelievable.

“Yes, it's true. The author gave up after all the rejections and moved on with her life. She had a normal job and was just a normal person for years, then she received the royalty check.”

“Oh, great. What happened?” I asked.

“She spent it all and didn't save a penny. She also hadn't written anything in years. When she tried to write a sequel, it bombed terribly and everyone hated it. She was so embarrassed that she refused to write anything ever again.”

I thought about that. “Did you hate it?”

Carolyn sighed and nodded. “It was like a fan-fiction of the real story. The characters acted differently, the plot didn't really make sense, and the brainy girl was pining over the abusive redhead. It was a disaster.”

I chuckled. “Well, it's kind of reassuring that she was just as misguided in her idea to put Hermione and Ron together here as well as where I came from.”

It was Carolyn's turn to look thoughtful. “What was the name of the sequel where you came from?”

“The Chamber of Secrets.” I said. “Yours?”

“The Half-Blood Prince.”

“Was it Snape in yours?” I asked with a smile, hoping she took the hint.

“That's Professor Snape.” Carolyn corrected in a pretty good Hermione imitation and we both laughed.

“My lady, I have quite a few stories to tell you.” I said.

Carolyn looked very interested and snuggled right in close to put her nose right on mine. “How many?”

I thought about teasing her a little. “There were seven books...” I started and she took in a sharp breath. “...and eight movies.”

“You're joking!” Carolyn gasped.

I shook my head and rubbed her nose as I did so.

“They made it into a movie?”

“It's one of the more successful franchises in history and created the very first author that was worth over a billion dollars.” I said and she looked completely shocked. “There were toys, merchandise, and even costumes for Halloween.”

“Dear god.” Carolyn whispered. “It was an entire franchise?” She asked in a normal voice and I nodded. “Do you have some of the things they had?”

I gave her a bright smile. “No, not a thing.”

Carolyn shook her head and rubbed my nose back. “You sir, are a terrible liar!”

I chuckled. “Well, I could... possibly... be convinced to make you a school uniform or two.”

“I want a Ravenclaw outfit right now!” Carolyn shouted and then she pushed me onto my back and lunged for my erection with a frantic look on her face. I laughed for several seconds and then moaned as I thoroughly enjoyed her using her mouth in a non-verbal way to convince me.

By the time she was done with me, I had created the normal uniform and the winter version in her size, a non-working replica of Lady Ravenclaw's Diadem, a shield with the Hogwarts School Crest on it, and two of her 'official' acceptance letters signed by Minerva McGonagall, one of which she could open by breaking the wax seal.

She squealed like a little girl because of the letters and I didn't get any sleep all night as she rewarded me. In the morning, she showered and dressed, kissed me passionately, and gathered up her things to leave.

“You almost forgot something.” I said and pulled out a transfigured copy of the Sorting Hat. I plopped it on her head because her arms were full.

The brim opened like it did in the movie and shouted. “Ravenclaw!”

Carolyn looked like she was about to cry.

“Shh. It's okay.” I said and gave her a careful kiss, so I didn't disturb her new treasures, and wiped at her eyes with a cloth. “If I think of anything else to make for you, I'll give you that, too.”

Carolyn nodded and went to the door, then turned and looked at me. “A book.” She said. “I want a spell book.”

I smiled and nodded. She smiled back and left my room, quite happy. I would do better than just one book, though. I had copies of every book Harry used through school. I needed to check the acceptance letter and give Carolyn one of each of the first year textbooks and then the items that were needed for school. I couldn't give her anything less than the best.

*

The next planet we were sent to had local inhabitants that were reluctant to communicate. Some were also quite sick. I quickly healed them of the infection and traced it back to a weird looking plant that had been hit by one of the SGC's UAVs, or Unmanned Ariel Vehicles.

I cast healing on the thing to stop its reaction to the damage and we brought the downed UAV back through the Stargate. Having the Gate Buggy was a huge help with that. The inhabitants still didn't want to talk, so we left them in peace and marked the planet with a 'No-Go' symbol and it was removed from the active list.

*

A month later, there was an unscheduled off-world activation and the iris over the gate was closed. Thanks to the upgrades on the computers and my modifications to both the iris and to the portable shields that covered vital areas around the base, the iris stayed closed.

After a thump sounded, we all exchanged sad looks. We knew what that meant. Someone had tried to transit through the wormhole and didn't make it. It wasn't until there were five more thumps in a row that we lost the sad looks and knew it was an incursion into the SGC. We went on lockdown for the next three days and waited for another attempt. Nothing happened and we all sighed with relief.

The next mission had been delayed because of that and the solar flare that the sun was experiencing, didn't affect the Stargate or caused the computers to need reprogramming to compensate for the minor fluctuations in the sun's gravity. The mission went perfectly and we returned to the SGC like normal.

*

Several of Ma'Chello's devices were specifically suited to protect people from Goa'uld influences. Once he was decanted and looked in the mirror, he entered his security decoder into the tablet and it unlocked everything. The personal shield devices were of particular interest, because they protected against both the Zat guns and the Goa'uld palm devices.

I quickly copied it and gave one to everyone on the base and not just the SG teams. No one questioned how I had made so many so quickly, probably because they were all too relieved to get it to ask about it. I also upgraded the Stargate's iris with one, which surprised Ma'Chello. I showed him how I did it and he laughed for two full minutes, because it used the Naquadah of the Stargate itself to create the shield.

“I knew trusting you was the right choice.” Ma'Chello said. “You have to come to my lab and help me refine my inventions.”

“I would be happy to help.” I said with a huge smile. “I may have a few things you'd like to look at as well.”

Ma'Chello nodded enthusiastically in agreement.

That was the beginning of the best collaboration that humanity could have ever had. We finished the Gate Hopper in under a month. It had both heavy weapons from a Death Glider and light weapons from the SGC. It could also transit through any Stargate, fly into space and back, and hover in place.

General Landrey was ecstatic about it and immediately instituted a piloting program geared for the new craft. What he didn't realize was that nearly everyone on the base that had heard about the thing, wanted to fly it. I had to laugh as he and the instructors tried to work out how to have so many flight classes without disrupting the base's operations.

I had to make a hundred more matter converters to be spread to different army bases. I also had to replace the one they tried to take apart, despite my warnings. It had eaten itself and most of the research lab it was in before the dissolving effect stopped.

*

I managed to book an entire week's vacation and Carolyn couldn't go. She had a medical conference to attend with the President of the United States attending. You do not say no to the POTUS, so I had Persephone fly me back home to Kansas to surprise Gloria. By surprised, I mean I showed up at the house and she was already packed and waiting for me. Our shared sparrow actually looked a little smug about it.

“This is going to be so much fun!” Gloria exclaimed and tossed her bags at me, then she jumped from the porch into the ship, nearly tackling me. She touched the wall of the ship and let out a short scream before she glared at me. “You're supposed to warn me if there's more than a dozen changes since the last time I touch things!”

“Maybe someone should have waited to let me open my mouth first.” I said back.

Gloria opened her mouth to argue, made a growling sound instead, and walked up towards the cockpit.

“By the way, don't sit on the couch until I...”

“AHHH! Goddammit!” Gloria screamed and yelled.

“...change it.” I said with a laugh and closed the boarding ramp. I helped her get rid of all the new images in her head and she forgave me for my mistake. I laughed, kissed her cheek, and we were off.

We spent the whole week out at the Kuiper Belt and fixing things over about a quarter of the thing. You wouldn't think that adjusting a few hundred asteroids and their flight paths would take a lot of time with a spaceship and thousands of harvester drones at my command. It did, so we had to leave the drones there to continue working and I added communication satellites all along the path back to Earth.

I also created several hundred automated Firefly spaceships to fly around and monitor everything. We also stopped at the inner asteroid belt and saw that the Crybaby factory was churning out dozens of them an hour and they were being sent off at their best reactor speeds to let the attached astromech droids map as much of the space outside the solar system as they could.

Gloria promised to monitor things and make sure that nothing nasty gets sent into the solar system, either natural or alien made. She would warn me if anything happened and needed my attention as well. It also gave her something to do between our conference learning sessions. Having your own satellite network around the solar system was fantastic for personal video communications.

*

At one point, Samantha's father Jacob, infected with a Tok'ra symbiote named Selmac, came back to Earth and claimed there was a Goa'uld on the planet and was hiding there.

“Not on my watch.” I said and everyone looked at me. “I've had satellites scanning for Goa'uld life signs for about half a year now.”

“Did you find any?” Jacob asked.

“Surprisingly, only five of them.” I said and someone gasped. I couldn't tell if it was someone on our side of the table or theirs.

“Where are they now?” General Hank Landrey asked, pointedly.

I chuckled. “They've been dead since I detected them.”

“WHAT?” Nearly everyone yelled.

“You don't think I would leave invading aliens on the planet's surface, do you?” I asked. “As soon as I found them, I went in, destroyed them, their hosts, any breeding pits, and negated any brainwashing chemicals by shocking the people around them.”

“Why did you never report it?” Hank asked.

“I did report it.” I said and he looked surprised. “You really need to read more than just the headers on the messages being sent to you, sir.”

Hank looked slightly embarrassed and Jack just huffed. He never read them, either.

“Or hire a secretary. She can handle a lot of the crap... I mean paperwork... for you.” I said, which made a few people smile.

Hank smiled as well. “I think I might do that... and have her read those memos and emails for me.”

“Good idea, sir. I'm glad you came up with it.” I agreed.

Hank chuckled and Jack nodded to me.

*

When the SGC came into contact with another world, Orban, I didn't do anything except offer to shake hands with their SGC assigned representatives, the Earth Ambassador and his apprentice, a girl named Merrin. I gained 'Generic Adult - Nanite Enhanced' and 'Generic Girl - Nanite Learning Factory'. I also asked to be shown around their tech labs, under escort of course.

“Do you possess knowledge that could be beneficial to us?” One of the Orbanians asked me.

I was very, very tempted to make a joke and then teach them about humor and maybe mention a few dirty limericks. “That depends.” I said instead. “Do you want to learn about farming, fabricating, healing, construction, piloting, foreign Earth languages, driving, assassination, target shooting, story telling, stealth techniques...”

All of the Orbanians in the greeting party stared at me with wide eyes as I went through a list of all the things I could do and the skills I had. Needless to say, it took a while.

The man that spoke turned and looked at the others. “Hurry! We need more Urrones!”

The Orbanians scattered and he turned back to me. “You will be treated as an honored guest of our people for the next week.”

I was a bit surprised by the offer. “I was only going to briefly visit.”

“Please, you must stay. We cannot let such a resource leave without offering what we can in return.”

I thought about that. “You know what? I accept. I'll stay for the whole week.”

“Excellent!” The man said, excitedly. “The next session of the Averium is going to be historic!”

I guarantee it. I thought with a smile.

By the end of the week when Merrin returned to have her nanites distributed with the other apprentices, I had the designs for a normal power generator, a city power generator, designs for all kinds of vehicles with naquadah engines, hand-held energy weapons that were similar to the blasters I already had, and fifteen personal numbers of the women that had supervised my time with the children.

When I stated that I was in a committed relationship with someone, they had laughed and said they only needed my donations. They didn't have time for anything else except implantation. I left before the ceremony and didn't keep the numbers.

I also didn't need to see the results of what I did, because I had a pretty good idea what a million people, who knew how to hide in plain sight and played children's games, were going to be like.

Absolutely hilarious.

*

Life moved on, and it was becoming routine to see Gate Hoppers, Gate Buggys, and hovercars going in and out of the Stargate constantly. It definitely changed a lot of people's opinions about away missions and the people they met on the other side of the Stargate were impressed by the show of technology.

The Earth's solar system was also a lot more protected than anyone could have guessed, besides myself, Gloria and Carolyn. We knew exactly what I had deployed as a defense for the human race and we weren't surprised when a Goa'uld task force approached the solar system in normal space.

To say they were surprised by the physical resistance they met, was an understatement, because the destruction of their fleet was complete and total. Poppers by the thousands disabled their command ships just inside the Kuiper Belt, thanks to the harvester's early warning systems and the communications stations letting me know they were there.

Ten thousand automated Fireflys destroyed every single Death Glider as it was launched from the enemy ships and tore apart the crippled command ships, ensuring the death of every single Goa'uld and making sure that none of them escaped the trap I had laid for them.

With Apophis long dead, Earth was apparently 'prime for the picking' and I ensured that it was too tempting a target for the System Lords that wanted to gain a foothold in this sector of the galaxy. It worked and I successfully destroyed most of their mobile forces.

I made an excuse about going to check on a few things and quickly had Percephone fly me out to the wreckage of the pyramid ships that the Goa'uld favored. I donned a spacesuit and went through each one to loot it and made sure that each symbiote was dead. It wasn't until I came across Amonet's command ship and found Sha're, Daniel's wife, that I regretted my actions.

I suddenly remembered the sarcophagus and its healing properties, so I went to the chamber with her body, yanked out the symbiote, and put her inside. I quickly attached a portable naquadah power generator and activated it, then waited. A short time later, the sarcophagus opened and a very confused Sha're stared up at me.

“Dan'iel?” Sha're asked.

“I can take you to him.” I said and she beamed a smile at me. “Put this on and we can get out of here.”

Sha're looked at the space suit with fear.

“It's so we can pass through the areas of the ship that have been broken.” I said and she nodded as she put it on like it was going to bite her. “If I wasn't seeing someone and you weren't married, I would tell you how cute you are right now.”

Sha're blushed at me as I put her helmet on. My distraction worked and she wasn't afraid of the suit anymore.

“Don't panic. Just breathe normally, okay? I'll lead you out and you don't have to worry about any Jaffa attacking you or anything.” I reassured her and she gave me another beaming smile. “It's this way.”

Sha're let me take her arm and lead her to where I had left Persephone. She stared at the ship and I chuckled.

“Sha're, this is Persephone. Persephone, this is Daniel's wife.” I said.

“It's very nice to meet you.” The Firefly said.

“THE SHIP TALKED!” Sha're yelled.

I laughed and pat her gloved hand. “Please don't tell anyone about this. It's a secret.”

“Dan'iel.” Sha're said.

“You can tell him. He's your husband.” I said and she beamed a smile at me again. “Yes, you're definitely cute.”

Sha're blushed and I sat her down on Persephone's flight couch in the cockpit.

“I just have a few more things to loot and I'll be back in a little while, okay?” I said and she nodded.

I ran out of the ship and spent the next hour grabbing everything I could. Tubs of liquid Naquadah, the highly refined metal, Jaffa weapons, armor, the sarcophagus, and a few other things. Once I had everything I could possibly take, I set explosives and then evacuated.

“Let's book it, Persephone!” I said and sat on the flight couch to hug Sha're and brace her.

“On it, Boss! Watch me fly!” Persephone said and we were out of the ship and away.

I hit my comm and spoke. “Big boom coming, girls! Naquadah powered!”

“We're gone, boss!” A multitude of female voices responded and then every Firefly in the area flew off.

*WHABOOOOOM!*

A bright light seemed to light up half of the solar system as the entire fleet of command and attack ships were engulfed in a huge explosion.

“Oops.” I said and stared at the reflection of it on the display screen. “That's definitely going to be seen on Earth.”

“There's nothing you can do about that, John. You couldn't leave anything like that out here. It's too dangerous.” Persephone said.

“Good point.” I said. “Maybe they can explain it away as a rare stellar phenomenon or something.”

Persephone laughed. “It looked and acted like an explosion in space, so good luck with that.”

I sighed and looked at the woman I was still holding onto. “Well, your husband is going to be happy about it, at least.”

“You really take me to Dan'iel?” Sha're asked.

I let her go and nodded. “He's been looking for you since the Goa'uld took you.”

“He is a good husband.” Sha're said.

I nodded and sat back on the couch to wait as Persephone flew us back to Earth. If my guess was right, Daniel was going to be leaving the SGC in the very near future and was probably going to go back to Abados. I thought. I wonder if the others will try to convince him to stay?

Two hours later, I had my answer. They didn't.

The only reason Daniel had joined the SGC in the first place was to rescue his wife. He had been searching across the Stargate addresses in the faint hope that he would stumble across her. Now that he had, he was out. He didn't want to waste any more time being away from his wife or the happy life he had before.

I gave him the same protections I had set up in the SGC, namely the iris and the defense shield. I also told him that I would be there in a week or so to set up some automated defenses for the planet as well. That earned me an enthusiastic hug from him and a kiss on the cheek from Sha're.

“I'll be doing the same for the other planets that are under threat from the system lords.” I said.

“You good man.” Sha're said. “If you not mate already, have several friends would accept you.”

“I'm a one woman man, just like your husband.” I said. “I don't need anyone else.”

Carolyn blushed and looked pleased at the same time. The others in the room smiled, including her father, General Hank Landrey.

“Make sure you send me anything new you find.” Daniel said as the gate activated behind him.

I handed him a Galactic Encyclopedia from Naboo that was six inches thick. “Have fun.”

Daniel let out a surprised sound and gave me another tight hug, grabbed the book and Sha're's hand, and walked with purpose through the Stargate.

“He's not coming back.” Jack said.

“Would you?” I asked and he looked thoughtful, then shook his head. “Yeah, me either.”

“Now we can have that full debrief.” General Hank Landrey said. “Bring that memory thing with you.”

“It does make things a whole lot easier, doesn't it?” I asked and everyone nodded as we went to the large meeting room. I already had the pensieve there and added copies of my memories.

We all dove in and watched the battle take place. Seeing it in a third person perspective sure was an experience. When the battle was over, we all left the pensieve and sat down around the table.

“You are going to explain all those ships.” Hank ordered.

“They are fully automated and AI controlled patrol ships that I've had for years. I've been seeding them throughout the solar system for a while now.”

“Why didn't you ever tell us about them?” Hank asked.

“Knowledge of them wouldn't change their function or who commanded them.” I said and he looked surprised for a moment, then he reluctantly nodded. He knew, just as I did, that the government would appropriate them for their own use and not protect the Earth with them.

“Where did you get the materials to make them?” Samantha asked.

“I've had harvester drones clean up the near-Earth objects and also working on the asteroid belt between Mars and Jupiter.” I said and everyone looked at me. “If you ever want a few million tons of iron and nickel brought to Earth, I've got a huge solid mass of it orbiting Mars.”

“Sweet lord.” Someone whispered.

“If you want me to destroy the Earth's gold market, there's about half a million tons of it sitting on the dark side of the moon.” I said and they all made surprised sounds, mostly choking ones.

“Platinum?” Samantha asked when she recovered.

“Maybe a hundred thousand tons, give or take a thousand tons.”

“What about the other precious metals?” Samantha asked.

“They are only precious when they are rare, right?” I asked with a smile.

“For crying out loud.” Jack said. “You're like rich now, right?”

“I've always been rich. I've just acquired a ridiculous amount of physical capital that could destroy a good portion of the Earth's economy.”

“Sweet lord.” Someone whispered again.

I didn't bother asking who it was, because it didn't really matter. “By the way, the military never has to buy metallic resources for a few hundred years. If ever.”

“Hold on a minute.” Samantha said and everyone changed their focus from me to her. “If you're mining out the various metals, what are you doing with all that rock and debris from the asteroids?”

I gave her a huge smile. “I've always wanted to make my own moon.”

Everyone was so shocked that no one spoke for almost ten minutes.

“I think I'll adjourn this meeting.” Hank said and stood. “I need a drink and perhaps a good hit to the head.”

“You and me both, General.” Jack said. “I'm buying.”

“You're on.” Hank said and the two men left.

Everyone else left and Carolyn gave me a pointed look. “You didn't try to cover anything up.”

“It was too much work after all those aliens decided that Earth was easy pickings.” I said and handed her a thumb drive. “I wonder how drone footage of the utter defeat of the Goa'uld task force was leaked to all our allies and acquaintances?”

Carolyn smiled and pocketed it. “I have no idea.” She said and stood. “Perhaps the latest medical update was corrupted.”

“That's such a shame.” I said and stood to give her a deep kiss. “I'll see you tomorrow night.”

“Damn right you will.” Carolyn said. “I have yet to thank you for the working Harry Potter broom.”

“You never have to thank me for making you happy.” I said and kissed her again.

We left the meeting room and went our separate ways. We both had work to do before our date tomorrow.

*

Some time later, an alternate universe Dr. Samantha Carter, who never joined the Air Force, and Major Charles Kawalsky, who had died in this universe, came through something called a Quantum Mirror from their universe into ours. They were quickly captured and interrogated for two days to find out their stories, then the SGC was contacted.

Both prisoners were immediately brought to the base, as was the Quantum Mirror that they had come through. It was a bit awkward, because Dr. Samantha Carter was married to a now deceased Colonel Jack O'Neill in her dimension. The recently promoted Major Samantha Carter was also considered Dr. Carter's dimensional twin.

This was proven a short while later when the doctor suffered what she called Entropic cascade failure, because there shouldn't be two of her in the same dimension or in close proximity.

After a tense debriefing, and a pretty pointless discussion about what to do, a mission was approved to go to their dimension and call for help. I immediately protested and claimed that the danger was too high to risk everyone's lives like that.

“Then what do you suggest we do?” Kawalsky asked.

“I may have... alternate physical attack options.” I said.

“Please explain that.” Hank ordered.

I sighed and waved at the door. The door smashed open and a Droideka rolled into the room, stopped and deployed with their shield, and aimed their arm weapons at everyone in the room.

Jack cursed and reached for a gun he didn't have, both Dr. Samantha and Major Samantha screamed, and Kawalsky and Hank lost the color from their faces. Teal'C, his ever stoic self, merely raised his eyebrow at me.

“I knew you wouldn't react.” I said to him and he smiled slightly.

“John, what the hell is that?” Jack asked.

“It's a self-contained automated attack droid. It has two repeating heavy blaster rifles on its arms and a nearly impenetrable energy shield for protection, for as long as the power source lasts.”

Major Carter looked at it closely. “You added a naquadah generator.”

“Yes. It can work for about three hundred years without needing more naquadah or another reactor.”

“How many of them do you have?” Hank asked.

“That's the prototype.” I said.

“So, one.” Jack said.

“One prototype. Once I knew it would work, I went into production.” I said.

“Good lord.” Hank said. “You made an automated factory.”

“I can have a hundred of them ready by tonight.” I said.

“Do it.” Hank said. “We'll get Major Kawalsky and Dr. Carter to find their dimension with the mirror, then we'll send them through.”

“What about afterwards?” Jack asked.

“I want that mirror destroyed.” Hank said. “Considering the danger it represents, with any number of dimensional travellers stumbling across this reality, it's too much of a risk to leave it intact.”

We all nodded, even Dr. Carter and Kawalsky.

“John, when the base is cleared, you need to go along and attach the Stargate's power booster and then install the program to let them contact the Asgard.” Hank said.

“You're assuming the Asgard will help them and not rebuff contact like they did with us for not being advanced enough to join the alliance.” I said and he nodded. “All right. It's worth a shot.”

“This will be like a vacation.” Jack said and looked at both Samanthas. “From ourselves.”

“I can't go along.” Major Carter said. “I'll suffer the same Entropic cascade failure that Dr. Carter is suffering here.”

“Oh.” Jack said. “It's only a short vacation. We won't be long.”

I chuckled. “Nice recovery, Colonel.”

“Thanks.” Jack said.

“Get to it, people.” Hank ordered and we all agreed and left the meeting.

*

“I can't believe I'm seeing this.” Major Samantha Carter said as she watched the security device. It was currently showing twelve Droidekas slaughtering the thirty Jaffa guarding the gate room. The Stargate activated and five of them turned from the slaughter and waited. As soon as Apophis appeared with his two guards, they were shot with heavy energy weapons and torn apart.

“I can't believe how easy this war is going to be with them to send through the Stargate to the planets controlled by the System Lords.” Jack said as he watched over her shoulder. “I love those things.”

“You're really going to love the tank.” I said and his head whipped up to stare at me. “It has a heavy Ion Cannon on a turret and a bunch of heavy energy weapons.”

“Please, please tell me it can fit through the Stargate!” Jack pleaded.

“It can now.” I said and he let out a cheer.

“My Jack loved stuff like this, too.” Dr. Samantha Carter whispered.

“Before we leave your side and destroy the mirror, remind me to give you a present.” I whispered back.

“A present? What for?” Dr. Carter asked.

“To help heal your broken heart.”

Samantha gave me a sad look and nodded slightly, as if she didn't want to acknowledge it.

An hour later, the base was cleared of enemies and SG-1 easily went through the base, made the modifications, and started dialing the distant address that had eight chevrons to activate. The mountain started to shake and the external security camera showed a Goa'uld pyramid ship landing on the base.

“Oh, no!” Dr. Carter exclaimed. “Hurry up! I have to get to the Asgard!”

“It's almost done.” I said. “Get down to the gate room.”

She nodded and ran for it as the eighth chevron locked and the Stargate activated. She ran into the room and up the large ramp before she jumped through the Stargate. It cut off almost immediately and then the fighting began anew. Well, the slaughter did. The Droidekas had formed a firing line at each entry to the base and gunned down all Jaffa enemies.

“Are you going to send them in?” Jack asked.

“No. The ship won't be staying long.” I said as the deep space radar beeped and showed a rapidly approaching spaceship. “I wish they agreed in our dimension.”

“Win some, lose some.” Jack said.

I nodded and then had a neat idea. I started gathering the Force to make a single thin tendril of it. “Excuse me for a minute. I have one last thing to do before we leave.”

“This is pretty much over, so go for it.” Jack said.

I took off at a run for the elevator and went up to the mountain's observation point. I saw the pyramid ship flying off and the Asgard ship parted the clouds. That thing is gigantic! I thought as I sent the tendril of Force straight up to it and let it touch the hull to try and gain an image of the thing.

I stood there for nearly ten minutes, completely exposed, as the Asgard shot several large energy weapons and destroyed the Goa'uld emplacements around the base. More pyramid ships took off in the distance as the shots spread out and cleared the area of enemy occupation.

“I definitely wish they agreed to meet before now.” I said as I gained 'Asgard Interstellar Colony Ship - War Footing' and all of the wonderful weapons attached to it... as well as ten thousand cryogenically frozen Asgard aliens. My goal achieved, I went back inside and rode the elevator down to the Stargate control room.

“You missed the party.” Jack said and nodded at Dr. Samantha Carter. “She made contact.”

I smiled. “I just saw the Goa'uld outside being slaughtered by Asgard spaceship assault weapons.”

“Damn. You had a better party.” Jack said.

“We can watch the memory when we get back to base.” I offered.

“Sweet.” Jack said with a smile.

“So.” Dr. Carter said. “I guess this is it.”

“It is, and we apologize for having to run.” I interrupted her before she did something awkward with Jack. “We don't know how long the mirror can remain open on the same reality before it shuts off automatically.”

Samantha sighed and nodded.

“Walk us out?” I asked and she went with us back to the room that we had entered through.

The others went first and I paused as I turned to Samantha.

“I suggest destroying your mirror as well. Chances are that the Goa'uld have found it in one of the dimensions and are taking over the Earths they find.”

“You keep stopping me from having hope of finding a Jack for myself.” Samantha said and looked through the mirror at Jack.

“That's because you don't need to.” I said and waved to the side of the room after I created a 'World Savior' that looked just like Jack. “Jack, this is your wife, Samantha. Listen to her and be the man she needs you to be.”

“Yes, father.” Jack said and then seemed to shiver. “Sam? Is that you? I thought I lost you.”

“Oh, god!” Samantha exclaimed and jumped into his arms and kissed him passionately.

“You're welcome.” I said and went through the mirror. I had already copied both the mirror and the remote, just in case it was ever needed, and then watched as it was tossed into one of my atom harvesters.

“Oh, no! We left the robots on the other side!” Major Samantha Carter said.

“I left them as guards. No Goa'uld or Jaffa will ever enter that base.” I responded.

“You left a hundred of them there for that?” Jack asked.

“What's that old saying about there being no such thing as overkill?” I asked with a grin.

“You totally have another hundred ready.” Jack guessed and I nodded. “Great. Show me that memory and then show me those droids. I have a few ideas about making them drop troopers from a Gate Hopper. If you can get their shields deployed in roller mode, they could smash through a lot of defenses from momentum alone.”

I laughed. “Good god, we have to get Ma'Chello in on this! He'll love it!”

Jack smiled and we left the room talking about the potential uses and versatility of combat droids.

*

For the next while, life at the SGC seemed to settle down. Dealing with conflict became as easy as sitting back and letting the droids handle the battles and Jack directed them strategically. Using a Gate Hopper and dropping droids into hostile areas, became a standard procedure when those situations were encountered. Normal missions were just that, normal.

It wasn't until the Asgard suddenly showed up in Earth's solar system that there was a small problem in the normal every day operations of the SGC.

“It's really odd that they want to talk now and ignored us the last time.” Jack said.

“Now is not to time to be pissy about it.” I said and he gave me a pointed look. “I've been like that for months about it. Just because we haven't shown them that we have the technological know-how spread across the population, that doesn't mean we don't have it at all.”

“You really are pissy about it.” Jack said with a small smile.

I chuckled. “They're stalled out just inside the Kuiper Belt at the edge of the solar system. The system defense grid won't let them pass.”

“Why not?” General Hank Landrey asked.

“They've detected a virulent invader onboard.” I said and they all looked at me. “I don't have the technical details.”

“But.” Teal'C prompted.

“As far as I know, they are robot replicators in the shape of spiders that consume materials and recreate themselves.” I said.

“Where did they come from?” Hank asked.

“The Asgard made them.” I said and Jack barked a laugh. “Exactly.”

“So, what do we do?” Hank asked. “Recommendations?”

Everyone looked to me again.

“Who wants to fly on a spaceship out to the edge of the solar system to save the lives of thousands of pompous aliens and rub it in their faces?” I asked.

Samantha, Jack, and Teal'C put up their hands, as did I.

Hank laughed. “Gear up and get to it. Dismissed.”

We did so and I told the team to follow me up to the observation post.

“Gentlemen.” I said and handed the two guards small bars of gold.

“Have fun, sir.” They said and saluted.

“We definitely will.” I said and held the door for the team.

“We should talk about that.” Jack said.

“Is it a bribe if they are doing a job for me?” I asked and waved at the empty space in front of us.

“What job?” Samantha asked and then gasped as Persephone appeared in front of her.

“Staying quiet.” I said and went up the ramp. “Come on in.”

“How often are you going out on this thing?” Jack asked.

“At least once every few weeks.” I said and extended the couch in the cockpit for everyone to sit, by pretending to hit a button and pulled it out from underneath.

“I wondered why those guys always asked for the punishment assignment.” Jack said and sat down. “This thing is actually comfortable.”

“It's also fast and damn near invulnerable.” I said and held a hand out to him. “I need to modify your stun gun.”

Jack handed it over and I pretended to fiddle with it and change out the power pack. Instead I gave him back a full powered repeating blaster.

“It no longer stuns. It's a full particle weapon that will impact anything it hits.” I said.

“Okay, that's good to know.” Jack said. “How long have they been able to do that?”

“The stun guns have never been able to do it.” I said, completely truthfully. “It's now a blaster.”

Samantha and Teal'C handed theirs over and I exchanged them.

“How's the charge on your staff weapon?” I asked.

“It is fully charged.” Teal'C said.

“Great, because you're going to need it. These things are like locusts and swarm over everything. You three are going to cover me while I try to work on one to find its command and communication routines.” I said and sat down beside Samantha.

“Oh, that's genius!” Samantha exclaimed. “You can tell them to shut down or even self destruct.”

“Or to eat only themselves.” I said and she gasped. “If there's an intergalactic signal, or something that can be sent through the Asgardian ship to wherever these things are...”

“We'll never have to worry about them ever again.” Samantha said. “I'm impressed.”

“My heart just went pitter-patter.” I joked and she smiled. “Once there's only a few, or only one left, removing them will be easy. For us, anyway.”

Jack nodded. “Then let's go and get this done.”

“Right away, Colonel.” Persephone said and the ship lifted off. “Don't forget the illusion, John.”

“I got it.” I said and made her look like a Harrier jet again.

“Your ship can talk?” Samantha asked.

“They all can.” I said and the ship flew up and out of the atmosphere.

“Wow, the space around earth seems so clean.” Samantha commented.

“It's taken a year to get it that way.” I said and she gave me a surprised look. “It was a mess and the debris was irritating Persephone every time we left Earth.”

“I do not miss feeling the pings on my hull. Even with heavy chromium armor, it was annoying.”

“Wait, that wasn't paint?” Samantha asked.

“Oh, no. Only the best is good enough for my girls.” I said and pat the wall. “Persephone, how are they doing with clearing up the replicators trying to escape the Asgard ship?”

“The girls are having a ball, as you humans say.” Persephone said with a soft laugh. “Deploy the display and have a look.”

I did so and Jack let out a whistle as hundreds of heavy repeating blasters picked off any little blip that tried to float away from the Asgard ship.

“I thought the combat droids were awesome.” Jack said. “I was wrong. This is awesome.”

I chuckled. “They take Earth's protection very seriously.”

“The Asgard are hailing me.” Persephone said. “I'm putting it on the screen.”

“Thanks.” I said and a little grey alien popped up on the display.

“Why can we not transport you over?” The little being asked.

“One of the first things I adapted was a Goa'uld protection device that creates a disruption field.” I said. “I wasn't going to let anyone kidnap us. That includes potential allies that believe they are above the concerns of proper etiquette and look down on us.”

The little alien's face didn't show emotion, so it was difficult to tell what it was thinking.

“How will you get onto our ship to help us?” It asked. “We have no hatches or ship bays. Only transporters.”

“How are the replicators getting off of your ship?” Teal'C asked him.

He fell silent for a moment. “They've breached the hull.”

“Bingo.” Jack said. “We'll dock and be right over to kick some robot spider ass for you.”

“By dock, we mean that we will be ramming through one of the breeches and destroying the replicators trying to tear more of your hull apart.” I said.

“Oh, goody! I'm finally getting some action!” Persephone exclaimed.

“I think I like your ship, John.” Jack commented.

“Thank you, Colonel.” Persephone said in a sexy voice before I could tease him about it.

“Ramming speed, Persephone.” I said as the collective fire from the Fireflys around the Asgard ship slowed slightly.

“This will only hurt for a second!” Persephone said and flew right into the breach the replicators made. Her entire cockpit smashed into the hull and the replicators there, destroying the main force of them trying to consume the Asgard ship. The Firefly settled down and the whole front of the ship was firmly lodged into the Asgard ship. “Wow, you're pretty tight inside!”

I burst out laughing as we ran for the emergency escape hatch on the roof of the cockpit.

“I definitely like her.” Jack said as we left the ship and started shooting the remaining replicators with the blasters we had. “I really like these guns.”

We quickly cleared the room we were in and then moved off into the ship. I dropped two Droidekas to protect Persephone and then two more in the hallway to protect our backs. I handed Jack a security device and he checked the display.

“I don't want to know how you got the ship plans.” Jack said.

“The device is called an Infiltrator.” I said and shot three more replicators. I bent and touched them as I pretended to look through the parts. “These are just drones and don't have the communications module I need access to.”

Jack tapped the security device display. “This says the main nest is three decks down and a few hundred feet to the right.”

“That's not going to be a fun place.” I said.

“We can soften them up with a grenade or two.” Jack said as the display changed and showed a camera shot from inside the room. “Or ten.”

“Damn, I hate being right.” I said. “Okay, one prototype naquadah grenade coming right up.”

Samantha gasped when I pulled out a miniature naquadah generator and tore it open. “John! You can't do that!”

“Oops.” I said and pulled out the center piece and then had a droideka crush the original casing and wrapped the scraps of metal around the center before covering the whole thing in duct tape.

“I love that stuff.” Jack said and shot five more replicators.

Teal'C never stopped shooting. He apparently liked the blaster and left his staff strapped to his back.

“Here you go. Hit the button and run.” I said and handed it to Jack.

“Thanks.” Jack said and we slowly moved down to the right area, destroying replicators along the way, and found the nest. He tossed in the makeshift grenade. “Let's run!”

“Won't they try to eat it?” Samantha asked as we ran down the hallway.

“I hope so. It'll work much better with...” I started to say.

*BOOOOM!*

“...more parts around it to shred the others.” I finished.

We ran back and the hallway near the room was partially melted and covered in replicator parts.

“Damn, that was a good grenade.” Jack said and looked inside the nest room. “Really, really good.”

We entered the room and most of the mobile replicators were scrap, partially melted, and trying to move with crippled legs and bodies.

“Have fun trying to find what you need in that.” Jack said and waved at the center of the mass of stuff.

“Thanks. Watch the hallway for me. I might be a while.”

“Not a problem. Teal'C is enjoying himself.”

“I do like this gun.” Teal'C said. “It is rather light, however.”

I formed a heavy repeating blaster that the larger droids carried and handed it to him. “Enjoy.”

Teal'C smiled and accepted it, then laid covering fire over the entire hallway. “Much better. Thank you, John.”

“Anytime.” I said and started to dig through the mess. “Come on, come on.” I whispered as I chucked aside different replicators and looked for a command one. I was sure that there was at least one in here, not to mention the main production replicators.

It took me five long minutes to finally find what I was looking for. It was only partially melted and I copied it, then I opened it up and attached a security device to it and it started hacking away at the replicator's programming.

Another minute passed before the panel beeped at me. I quickly added in the correction to the programming to only consume replicators because they were superior materials, as well as the same modification that my own droids had to never overrun humanoids to take over the galaxy, then I sent it to all of the replicators on the Asgard ship.

“I think it is working, John.” Teal'C said and stopped firing.

I ran over to the doorway and looked out to see several dozen spiders pouring over the remains of their fellows. They were soon all gone and then the replicators started attacking each other and tearing parts from one another.

“Let's head to the bridge.” I said and we moved off through the ship and saw lots of replicator skirmishes along the way.

“I do not know how you did what you did.” The alien in the middle of the bridge said.

“And you are?” Jack asked.

“I am Thor and one of the leaders of my people.” The Asgard alien said.

“Do you have this problem on other ships?” I asked.

“Yes. That is why we need your solution to share with them.” Thor said. “We also have several planets that have been overrun and mostly consumed by them.”

“You might need to establish communications with the planet surface for it to work.” I said and walked over to one of the consoles. “Excuse me, can I get in there?”

The alien gave me a look, then it shrugged and moved aside.

“Thanks.” I said and plugged in the security device. I added the broadcast signal with the programming changes and then sent it along the Asgard's intergalactic network. “You may need to sacrifice a small ship or a lifepod or something to land some of the reprogrammed replicator command drones to the surface of the overrun planets.”

“Why would we do that?” Thor asked.

“To spread the modified programming, of course.” I said and unplugged the security device before I walked over to the SG-1 team. “Give it a week or two and then bring the few replicators that remain among your ships and stations together to let them destroy each other or drop them on an abandoned planet. Either way, no more replicator problem.”

“You're welcome.” Jack said, preemptively. “These lowly humans will be going now.”

We turned around and left the bridge and several surprised Asgard aliens behind. I dissolved the droidekas when we made it back to Persephone. I sealed the room and then climbed aboard before she flew us backwards.

“Okay, we just helped a very powerful alien race defeat a foe they had no clue how to deal with.” Samantha said as we watched the Asgard ship turn and fly away at a very fast speed. “Why didn't we ask them for anything in return?”

Jack gave me a look and nodded.

“Beggars can't be choosers.” I said and she looked confused. “They came to a race they insulted for not being advanced enough, for help. We provided it in only a few hours and they have probably been fighting the replicators for years. We also used a method they never thought of to do it.”

“That's going to stick in their craw for a while.” Jack said. “We also proved that we are above demanding payment for help.”

“And that's going to bother them for a very long time.” I said and Jack nodded.

Everyone was quiet for a few minutes as we flew past Neptune.

“So, how much of their database did you get?” Jack asked.

“All of it.” I said with a smile and handed the security device to Samantha. “Stargate addresses, star maps, technology plans, cloning techniques, etcetera, etcetera. You name it, I got it.”

“Oh, you sneaky and brilliant bastard.” Samantha whispered as she quickly looked through the tech database with her eyes devouring the content.

I was so shocked by her actually cursing that I was left speechless. Jack on the other hand, thought it was hilarious and laughed, which he almost never did without it being sarcastic. Teal'C smiled a full smile for the very first time.

*

Once again, life seemed to settle into a routine. With the introduction of the Asgard database to our own, Ma'Chello, Samantha and I were in creator's heaven. The weapons alone would make the fight against the System Lords much easier. The tech modifications for shields, transporters, ship designs, engine designs, and everything else we could use, made the lives of everyone at the base almost idyllic.

Thanks to the huge ship showing up in or solar system, it gave the government the excuse to start introducing some of the alien technology into the world. The major industrial companies that relied on fossil fuels for profit, tried to get legislation passed to stop the 'dangerous' new power generators from being produced in massive quantities.

Once the public found out about that, the public relations nightmare began for those companies. Instead of embracing the technology that would help the planet, they were trying to ruin it. That did not sit well with the people, who were their main customers. When it was pointed out how 'dangerous' nuclear power plants actually were, the companies and their arguments withered and died.

It took a year to convert every nuclear power plant into naquadah power plants. They were barely half the size and provided ten times the power on their lowest setting. Everyone loved having cheap power. I also managed to plant dozens of atmospheric condensers around the Earth to fix the carbon emissions problem. It would take years to accomplish, just like fixing the holes in the ozone layer.

The car companies started a bidding war over which of them would make the first naquadah powered vehicle, only for Gloria to take her company public and put a hundred thousand fully customized cars up for sale. She had been busy filling a market that she knew would crop up eventually and sold them all off within a month. She donated the proceeds to charity, too. I was quite proud of her for that.

We also launched the first Earth-built spaceship that the entire world watched take off. It was sleek and looked deadly, which was exactly what the government wanted. Humanity's space presence was going to be one to watch out for. Ten more were half-finished and their launch schedules would be in a few months, right after the Pegasus made her maiden voyage around the solar system.

We had to brief in the crew to what was actually going on within the solar system and they were pretty surprised about the already intact space industry. They were also a little disappointed, until they realized there were billions upon billions of asteroids in the asteroid belts in the solar system. I had refrained from laying a claim to more than one large section of them to play with. I wasn't greedy.

When the Earth had a fleet of twenty five capital ships and each carried a thousand starfighters that looked similar to Jedi starfighters, only with Jaffa and Asgard weapons on them, the long campaign against the Goa'uld System Lords began.

They didn't stand a chance against humanity's tenacity.

World by world, system by system, we fought the enemy off and eventually out of each one. The people we freed, groused and complained about exchanging one System Lord for another. We just laughed, gave them the plans to build their own planetary defensive array and our Stargate address, and flew off. Most of them actually contacted us afterwards to thank us and to establish friendly relations.

*

A decade passed and a few people on Earth became aware of Mars looking decidedly less red and more greenish and bluish. Most of the public didn't believe the telescope users at first, until several of the larger industrial telescopes were used and evidence was released on the news. A short public outcry from the population had the government send a spaceship out to discover what was going on.

The ship's crew were shocked to find entire cities, towns, hamlets, quaint villages, and even landing pads and ports for cargo ships. The biggest surprise was the gigantic space station in orbit around the planet that asked for authorization.

“Authorization? From who?” The captain of the ship asked the man on the screen.

“From the owner, of course.” The man responded. “He didn't do all this work to fix Mars to let just anyone come here to visit, would he?”

“So it's all real? This dead world is now a fully viable place to live?” The captain asked.

“It is. It's also some of the boss' best work.” The man on the screen said. “If you would like to get your name in to buy some of the more lucrative properties near Olympus Mons, you have to hurry.”

The captain was taken aback by the words. “Isn't that a volcano?”

“It is! It's also one of the largest ever recorded at 375 miles across, 16 miles high, and the inside crater is about 50 miles wide. It's really amazing.”

“But... but... the eruptions...”

The man on the screen laughed. “The gravity here is only just over a third that of Earth's. When it erupts, the harvesters have plenty of time to catch the expulsions and stop anything from flowing down the sides to harm anyone.”

“But...”

“The view when it happens is quite spectacular.” The man said. “It's why the properties are so popular.”

“How can they be popular? No one knows about this place!”

The man laughed again. “Lots of people know about it. It's been on the market for the last six years under a private real estate company and we already have over ten thousand residents.”

“That... that's not possible.” The captain said.

“Actually, after five years living here, according to the planetary charter, you officially become a 'Martian'. Quite a few people already enjoy that moniker and the rest are impatient to wait that long because they love it here.”

“You, too?” The captain asked.

The man nodded. “I've got a nice little place down on the equator in the temperate zone. I hate the snow so much that I moved to another planet to get away from it! Ha ha!”

The captain was stunned. “Can you... send me the information? I'll hand it in to my superiors.”

“Of course.” The man said and the ship's communication console beeped. “I'm sure the owner is planning on making it public soon anyway. He stopped obscuring the planet with the red veil a month ago.”

“Who is the owner?” The captain asked.

“John Hansen, Commander of the SGC.”

*

“Gloria, I think I finally figured it out.” I said to her as I walked into the Kansas house and saw her typing on a security device. I was actually off for a month of forced vacation because Carolyn was tired of telling me to take time off and ordered me off of the base. Under guard. The guys laughed pretty hard as they escorted me off the property.

“Figured what out?” Gloria asked without looking up.

“How to fix your problem.” I said and she caught her breath. “It's taken years of hard work, more math than exists in two universes, and six bottles of firewhiskey to get Ma'Chello drunk enough to tell me how he made the device work in the first place.”

Gloria stopped typing and gave me a pointed look. “What did you do?”

“I haven't done anything yet.” I said and she raised her eyebrows at me. “I told you. I said I finally figured it out, not that I'm ready to try it for real after testing it.”

“You do want to test it.” Gloria said. “On me.”

“Yes. That's the problem. When it works, that's it. It's the limitation on the transfer process.”

“What do you want to do?”

I explained about the mind transference device and how it switches the consciousness of the two people that touch it. What it didn't do, was take any inherent abilities. New body, new abilities.

“That wouldn't help me at all.” Gloria said.

“I know. That's why I've taken years to refine it and perfect it. It doesn't only take your consciousness now. It takes everything that makes you be you, and switches it with someone else.”

Gloria gave me an odd look. “That's why you've never tested it.”

I nodded. “We get one shot at making you right and then that's it.”

“I thought you could keep switching, as long as you had a willing person?” Gloria asked.

“That was the old version. This new one makes you immune to being transferred again and even me creating another one won't work for you, even if we had another body for you to go into.”

Gloria put the security device down and didn't speak for several minutes.

“Who's body have you chosen for me to try this with?” Gloria asked.

“They're a copy that I'm going to transfigure into you, so it doesn't matter.”

Gloria gave me a pointed look. “Who did you choose?”

I sighed and created a Generic Kryptonian Female that was based on Kara Zor-El, or Supergirl. “I'm almost positive that her dense molecular structure won't be transferred out, because it's a physical trait.”

Gloria blinked her eyes at me as what I said hit her. “Oh, my god.”

“I'm hoping that when you switch bodies, it will remove your touch sensitivity, because that is a physical trait.” I said.

“John, I... I want to... I need to think about this.”

I cupped the sides of her face as the copy faded away. “Sweetie, you can think about it for as long as you want.”

Gloria nodded and I kissed her cheek.

*

It took her a year to make the choice... and she chose to do it. She wanted to go all in and sold off the manufacturing company for the eco-cars and hovercars, all her controlling interests in every company she helped create, and donated the money to charity once more.

“All right, John.” Gloria said as she stripped off completely and then laid down on the medical bed beside the female Kryptonian.

“There's one possible side effect that I didn't mention.” I said. “Actually, two.”

“You're telling me this now?” Gloria asked with a glare.

“You're going into a new body with your entire mind and skills, including all those land possessions and creature creations.” I said and her eyes widened. “I expect you to be knocked out for about a week to acclimate to the new brain.”

“Well, at least you told me.” Gloria said and sighed. “Do I even want to know what the second thing is?”

I smiled at her and then looked at the female Kryptonian. “You will be taking over Gloria's body permanently. As far as I can tell, that includes not being a copy anymore.”

The woman blinked her eyes at me. “You are giving me a real life?” She asked and I nodded. “If you were not with Carolyn, I would ask for you to make love to me.”

“Hey! That's my body you're offering!” Gloria exclaimed and the woman smiled.

“Not in a few moments.” She said and looked into my eyes. “John, thank you for my existence.”

I smiled at her. “I created you specifically to exchange bodies and to live your life how you want to.”

“You are taken, so I will live how I need to instead.” She responded.

I lightly stroked her cheek. “You're lucky I've never considered doing unquestionable things to the people I create.”

“You meant unlucky.” She said and smiled. “Kiss me and give me the device. I am eager to start my new life.”

I chuckled and bent down to kiss her. I wasn't surprised that she held onto me and let the kiss linger for several moments. I created the transfer device on her chest and she grabbed two of the handles before holding it to the side and presented the two remaining handles to Gloria.

“Here goes everything.” Gloria said and grabbed on. “Hey, I thought it was supposed to be instantaneoooooohhhh.”

I watched as both Gloria and the Kryptonian woman fell unconscious and I let them continue to hold onto the device, because I didn't want to interrupt the transfer. I had been a little worried that it would be prolonged because of the depth that the device would be pulling from each of their minds to send to the other.

I just hoped that my calculations were right as I settled in for a week of taking care of two women that needed to be fed, cleaned, and their bathroom needs tended to.

*

A week later, Gloria's body, that was now owned permanently by the female Kryptonian, opened her eyes.

“It worked.” She said and held a hand out to me. I took it and she pulled me down into a kiss. I had to laugh at the apparent ritual she had come up with.

I broke the kiss and stroked her face. “Do you want to go back to what you looked like before?”

She shook her head. “I chose what I want to look like from now on.”

I handed her a security device and she did a quick search before showing me. “Are you sure?”

“Please. Make me this pleasing to the eye.”

“Okay.” I said and created a wand to permanently transfigure her into her chosen look. “I really hope you like looking this way from now on.”

She sat up and her dainty hands lightly cupped her perfectly proportioned breasts. “I am already pleased, John.” She said and smiled happily at me. “Please name me Barbi.”

I nodded and held her hand. “I hereby name you Barbi Hansen and you will forever be known as such.”

“Thank you, John.” Barbi said.

I wasn't surprised when I gained an image of 'Barbi' and let her hand go. “You are going to get a lot of attention.”

“I know.” Barbi said. “Even if I remain here in Kansas.”

“You have access to money, the cars are in the garage, and you can stay here at the house for as long as you like.”

Barbi smiled and stood up. “I am also in need of clothing.”

I created a nice business suit and skirt for her, fake glasses, and the smallest set of bra and panties I knew of.

Barbi laughed as she put them on and then she posed sexily for me with just the underwear on.

I shook my head at her and handed her the skirt and blouse, then I helped her get dressed completely.

“I need to go shop.” Barbi said and kissed my cheek before she left.

I waited for another six hours before Gloria woke up.

“Uhhhh.” Gloria moaned and opened her eyes. “Owowowow.”

“Shh.” I said and cast several healing charms on her as I took her hand.

“Ohhhh, that's better.” Gloria said and gripped my hand tightly. “Thank you.”

“Don't thank me yet.” I said. “How do you feel?”

“Really weird.” Gloria said. “It's like... like I'm not myself.”

I nodded and let her hand go. “Give me a few minutes to try and fix that.”

Gloria nodded and then she moaned as my magic flowed over her and her foreign body started to change. She shrunk almost four inches and then her fingers and toes changed and shrunk. Her muscles seemed to deflate slightly and her hips jutted out slightly. Her chest changed from the forward pointy versions of breasts to the slightly hanging to the sides version they were supposed to be.

Her neck thinned and her face changed form from the generic woman into her own face. The skin color was next and she changed from white to caramel brown. Her hair went from dirty blonde to a pitch black that almost reflected the light before it grew out and down to her waist. The last to change was her eyes and they went from a deep blue to a dark brown that was almost black.

“Oh... oh, god.” Gloria whispered and reached between her legs.

“I'll give you some time alone.” I said and tried to walk away.

Gloria caught my hand and looked into my eyes. “John, you don't have to go anywhere.”

I ignored the dampness on my palm. “Gloria, you know I...”

“Just because you're in a relationship, that doesn't mean I have to be a prude around you.” Gloria said and her other hand went between her legs and she played with herself. “I learned that lesson from you and Velma when she first started coming around and I understood what was going on.”

I sighed and looked away. “You saw how that turned out.”

“Yes, Velma was greedy for Arlene's affection and needed to starve you out of it.”

I thought back to our last meeting and Arlene crying over me leaving again. “It didn't work.”

“No, and I bet Velma regretted it every day that you weren't there, because Arlene probably kept asking about you.” Gloria said with satisfaction in her voice.

That made me smile and I turned back to show her, just as she gasped and had an orgasm. It squirted slightly in an arc and landed an inch away on the bed.

I stared at the little puddle before it soaked into the sheet and then looked at Gloria's red face.

“Maybe I can be a bit more reserved.” Gloria said.

I gave her an incredulous look for a moment, then started laughing.

“It's not funny.” Gloria said. She didn't let go of my hand, either.

“You just... haha... masturbated in front of me...” I paused to try and catch my breath. “...and you're embarrassed that... hahaha... you came... too much! HAHAHA!”

Gloria looked indignant for a second and then she smiled. A moment later, she started laughing, too.

Enjoying it more than she thought she would, because of having me there to watch, was a funny thing to be embarrassed about.

*

“So, this is it. The true test.” Gloria said the next day as she hung from my back in the backpack again. We were on the other side of town at a few clear fields.

“It is.” I said, because I had tried to give her a coffee mug yesterday that I created and she gained nothing from it. We were both a little sad about that and worried that wasn't the only thing she lost. When I had handed her one of the farmhand's coffee mugs that I hadn't made, nothing happened again.

“I want you to convert it first.” Gloria said. “Just in case.”

I nodded and did just that. I made her favorite, too. A forest. I crouched slightly to let her foot reach the ground.

Gloria sighed and braced for the land acquisition as she put her bare foot down and dug it into the soft dirt. She didn't react for a moment and started to sigh, then she gasped in a familiar way. “I GOT IT!”

I smiled and nodded as I stood and pulled her foot up out of the dirt. I walked over to the next field and crouched slightly again. “Okay, I'm ready to yank you away quickly.”

“John, I... I don't know if I can do this.” Gloria said, worried.

“I can keep making you lands all over and you can gain them if you want.” I said and looked at her over my shoulder. “We can even spend some time on Mars and make you some land there.”

Gloria closed her eyes. “John, it's not that.”

“I know.” I said and her arms around my neck tightened. “You're worried that I won't be around if I don't have to keep such a close eye on you.”

“Yes.” Gloria whispered.

“I'm retiring from the SGC.” I said and she gasped as she opened her eyes in surprise. “I've done all I can there and set things up for the next generation to keep exploring.”

“You're really giving it up?” Gloria asked and I nodded. “What about Carolyn?”

“She's staying on as the head medical technician.” I said.

“No! Why would she...”

“It's more important to her to keep the medical facility running with the hundred teams needing to stay healthy and healed, than it is for her to relax and enjoy retirement.”

Gloria sighed and dropped her foot to the ground. “Did you break up? Is that why you're leaving?”

“We ended things amicably. I really have nothing left to do at the SGC and she does. Jack and Samantha are retiring as well, after they regenerate and rejuvenate.”

Gloria gasped.

“I know! Jack and Samantha are going all the way back to eighteen years old, just so they can live most of their lives together, away from the SGC and the responsibility that is no longer theirs.”

“John! I gained the land and I didn't get thousands of images! I only control the one land!” Gloria exclaimed and her lips and tongue slobbered all over my ear. “It worked, John! IT WORKED!”

I blinked my eyes at her and then looked down to see her foot firmly planted on the dirt.

“You did it.” Gloria said, her voice falling to a deeper tone as she reached around and pulled off the backpack from my shoulders. She slipped out of it and let it fall to the ground before she turned me around. “You kept your promise and you fixed me.”

“Gloria...”

“Thank you.” Gloria said and stuck her foot between my feet, then she pushed me.

I fell backwards and she was suddenly on top of me and kissing me hard. I kissed her back until she tore my shirt open. “Gloria, we can't do this here.”

“We are and you're going to like it!” Gloria nearly shouted, then she had my pants down and me in her mouth.

I was instantly hard for her and she took full advantage of that as she pulled her clothing off. She stopped sucking when she was naked and then she was riding me and kissing me passionately. She hadn't yelled at losing her virginity, even though I hadn't prepped her at all for having sex.

Instead, it felt like we had been having sex for years and only just now remembered that we could. It was weird and also a complete turn-on, because I felt like my erection was as hard as steel. When I rolled her over to give her an even better feeling than being on top, she moaned into my mouth and then screamed her pleasure as I hit a particular spot inside of her.

I had no clue how I knew what to do with her and I didn't care. I made her feel as good as I felt, that she was making me feel, and we stayed there in that field, completely out in the open. For hours. Or days. It was hard to tell by the end.

I remembered stopping to eat once while Gloria gave me yet another blow-job, then I went down on her to eat her out while she ate. It was the first time that I had ever had that long of a single session of sex, for as long as I could remember.

“Oh... oh... oh, god.” Gloria panted as she rested against me. “Why... why couldn't we... have done this... decades ago?”

“I was... hung up on... seeing you grow up... and not... thinking of you... as a woman.” I panted. “Decades... of time passing... seemed to... help me cope a little.”

Gloria took several deep breaths before she spoke. “You mean... all I had to do... was suck you off to get you to love me?”

I barked a laugh. “Gloria, I love you. I always have. I just needed to get you re-categorized from 'girl I've known for decades' to 'woman I need to sleep with right now'.”

Gloria propped herself up on her elbows to look into my eyes. “Was it really that hard to do?”

“Unbelievably so. It's taking me a lot of mental gymnastics to not be freaking out right now.”

“Why?” Gloria asked.

“Because I raised you since you were four. I bathed you, fed you, and carried you around on my back for so many years.” I said and cupped both cheeks of her face. “You don't know how difficult it is to change that little girl from my back into the beautiful woman in front of me. That love I have for you has to migrate and change as well.”

“I... I know. When I was a kid, I loved you with all my heart. I knew you were helping me and I really loved you for that. It wasn't until I was older and saw what Arlene had with you that I knew my love for you was changing.” Gloria said. “Doing what we just did is not something that I will do with just anyone, you know.”

“I know.” I said and pulled her down into a kiss. “I know all too well.”

Gloria didn't try to go further than that, even though I was sure that she wanted to, because she thought she had a lot of personal time to make up for. “We need to get dressed and go.”

“Where are we going?” I asked as she stood up and my erection stood up for her.

Gloria admired it before she knelt to give it a quick suck and then smirked at me. “Everywhere.”

So, that's what we did. We packed up what we wanted to take, bid Barbi a heartfelt goodbye when she didn't want to come with us, and boarded Persephone to fly out into the unexplored parts of the galaxy.

*

Ten thousand years later, humanity owned the Milky Way Galaxy. Planets and moons were terraformed and quickly populated. The standard of living was also the best, all across the galaxy. Food was plentiful, people lived peaceful lives, and the entire space around it was completely protected.

No external threats were allowed and were quickly dealt with, with deadly force. No aliens were going to take humanity's planets away from them. Ever.

*

“Are you sure you want to do this?” I asked Gloria as she mounted me. We were all the way back on Earth for the first time in centuries. We had both gained immeasurable lands from all the planets and moons we had terraformed.

“It's the best way.” Gloria said and moaned as she settled down on top of me and then laid down to match her arms and legs with mine perfectly.

I willed my protection onto her and she willed it right back onto me. The energy field formed over the both of us, completely covering us.

“Don't forget to summon me as soon as you can.” Persephone said.

“I promise.” I said and touched her with the Force to gain the latest version of her, then dissolved her.

“Okay, I'm ready.” Gloria said and I formed the barrels of explosives around us. “I wish we could figure out why we need the explosion to trigger our travelling ability.”

“I'm sure we'll figure it out eventually. We have all the time in existence to try.” I said and kissed her as I pushed the detonator's button.

*KAAABOOOOM!*