"You know, I once sharted in the middle of a moment of silence on stage at a high school assembly. But that, in there, was the most awkward shit I’ve ever dealt with.” I shut my door and buckled my seatbelt, rubbing my temples in frustration as my friend Lance started up the car. 

“Let’s just get out of here before he realizes we all left.”

I ran through the night’s events in my head as we pulled out of the parking lot of the local goth club. Our friend Brett had invited us out, which was usually fine. I've always been fairly decent at faking my way through conversations that don’t interest me. But tonight had been an even bigger disaster than when a website whose entire foundation was built on porn tried to ban NSFW content. Someone invited the biggest douchebag we know and he turned what would have been a great time in a cool goth bar into a nightmare, and even forced one of the guys into a really awkward situation. 

“Do you think he’s okay?” Lance looked over at me after a long silence.

I shrugged. “I don’t know, maybe? He seemed fine when he went off alone with that girl. Maybe she took pity on him and decided not to kick his ass.” 

“Yeah, I guess. Still, I feel bad for him. Who even invited Connor anyways? I thought Brett said that after the whole game day fiasco we’d stop hanging out with him.” Lance said. I could hear the disdain in his voice. He could usually brush these things off. But for some reason, this was really getting to him. 

“Hey, it’ll be okay. Let’s just go home and relax. We can watch a movie and forget this night ever happened. I’ll even make popcorn.” I did the whole air nudge with my elbow while making a funny face, trying my best to make him laugh.

He let out a deep sigh, “Fine, a movie would be nice to take my mind off things I guess.”

“Not to mention, you totally lost the bottle and the table bet today. So you better be ready, you know the rules, bro.”

“I...you lost the table bet too!” That got him smiling, I knew bringing up the bets would get him out of his funk.

Though I had forgotten that I had to endure the punishment as well. I could feel my cheeks getting warm. It was just getting cold out is all, yeah, that was it. Plus I had gotten Lance to smile. It was weird sometimes, I always got to see a side of him no one else did. He was so different and reserved around our friends. I was too, but I had been as awkward as a CEO of a social media company trying to prove he’s not a robot in disguise for as long as I could remember. Lance was definitely the more outgoing one. I usually just sat to the side and went along with whatever everyone else wanted to do. 

After a bit of silence, then laughing about how hard we’d both busted our asses trying to jump over a table, we were finally home. Our apartment wasn’t huge, but it had two bedrooms and a decently sized kitchen. Which is more than most people can say in this capitalist hellscape we live in. Lance made pretty decent money as a programmer, so we were able to afford something to give us each some space. I, unfortunately, majored in graphic design, so I made most of my money off commissions, drawing people’s OC’s, and the occasional small business logo gig that brought in a little extra. 

We made our way inside and into our rooms to start the punishment. My chest started to beat a bit faster as I took off my shirt. I slid out of my jeans and tossed them on my chair that was deemed the “not dirty enough to wash but not clean enough to go back into the drawer” containment zone, then turned to my closet. I was starting to shake, opening it up. I had done this so many times before, you’d think I’d be used to it by now. But I always had a rush of a feeling that was hard to pinpoint, not quite anxiety, not quite adrenaline, but something. I moved the various t-shirts and button-ups aside. My hands almost shaking, I pulled out a black flared skirt, and a black and red long-sleeved scoop neck shirt. I laid them carefully on the bed and opened up my dresser and pulled out black thigh high stockings with little red bows at the top. Slowly, one by one, I donned the articles of clothing. It was supposed to be a punishment; I mean, it was a punishment. Because every time I would do this, I got all nervous and certain...things started happening in the lower regions of my body. It wasn’t my fault that the outfit was so soft and felt really good against my skin. After adjusting myself and trying my best but failing at calming my nerves, I went back to my closet, opened a small box that was on the floor, and pulled out the final pieces. I affixed the long, brunette wig to my head and put on a black beanie over the top to keep it from moving around too much. I was done, my punishment was in motion and I had to spend the rest of the night dressed like this. I decided not to look in the mirror before heading to the kitchen and starting on snacks.

As I slid around the kitchen tile, (stockings were dangerous on certain surfaces) making popcorn and rolling out the cookie dough I had made the night before, I couldn’t help but wonder how we’d gotten to this point. Dressing up as a girl and making snacks for my roommate wasn’t exactly how I saw my life going. Though to be fair, picturing the future had always been something I generally avoided. But it all started out as a stupid joke in high school. We were just messing around near the track field after doing our mandated P.E., because apparently part of the learning process was to run around a field while a sweaty guy whose football career began and ended in high school yelled at you. I dared Lance to jump over one of the hurdles that had been left out. Confident as he always was, he agreed.

“What do I get if I win?” he cockily asked.

“Um, I’ll buy you pizza, with any toppings you want. But if you lose, you…” I was wracking my brain thinking of something embarrassing but ultimately harmless. “You have to dress up like a girl.” 

He pondered the offer before giving a much too enthusiastic, “You’re on!”

Long story short, he barely made it halfway up the hurdle. He was never the athletic type. After laughing and proclaiming my victory he bet that I couldn’t do it either, and wagered the same stakes. I had always been great at running; I had done it my whole life, running to clear my head, running from bullies, running from my problems. You know, the usual stuff. But I never quite made the track team, mainly because I didn’t want to, but also because I wasn’t that good. But alas, my pride had gotten the better of me. I agreed, and as I jumped shins first into the bar I knew I would have to face the consequences of my own hubris. 

Later that night after a panic-inducing trip to a thrift store, we both dressed up in the girliest things we could find. It was a really odd experience, Lance kept stammering and I kept blushing until we ended up just playing Mario Kart as we argued who would have to play as Princess Peach. I skillfully won the argument and got to play as Yoshi because in my mind he was a faster character. Ever since then we just started making up random bets and the loser had to dress up as a girl. It also helped distract me from home life because, well...that was a whole thing in and of itself. 

Tragic backstories aside, I had finished the popcorn and cookies were in the oven. I set the timer as Lance made his way into the kitchen wearing a My Chemical Romance shirt he’d accidentally bought in a women’s size and black denim cut offs. My heart stopped for a moment. How dare he!

“No fair! Why am I the one in a skirt and wig and you just casually walk out like that?” At a glance, I could swear he looked like an actual girl. But I could never tell him that. He lost two bets so he had to put in more effort than I did. 

He smirked. “Well, if you look closer,” he batted his eyelashes at me, “I spent a bit more time than you think.” 

Damn it, how had I not noticed the eyeliner? His eyes were popping harder than the corn. “Okay fine, I guess that works.” I had to look away, I didn’t want to be weird by staring into his eyes for too long. 

He snagged the bowl of popcorn and made his way to the couch. “So what movie are we watching?” 

I shot daggers with my eyes at his smug face as I walked over and sat down, pulling up the streaming service. “Well, there’s the new movie from the cars, heists, and family franchise that should’ve ended six movies ago. Or…the new rom-com about the person who hates Christmas falling in love with the person who loves Christmas.” I froze for a moment, of course, there was what we were supposed to watch, guys love cars, action, and homoerotic camera shots of a buff bald dude. But there was something about stupid silly romance movies that just got to me.

I didn’t dare look in his direction, I kept my eyes laser focused on the screen. He knew my weakness for sappy cheesy fluff, but he always liked to draw these decisions out. Damn him. 

“Well, since you won the bottle balancing bet I guess it’s only fair you get to choose. But why don’t they ever make a rom-com about the person who hates Christmas convincing the person who loves it that it sucks? I want the Anti-Christmas movie where they just end up going to the Bahamas and chilling on the beach in the off season.” I could feel his grin burning on the side of my face. 

“Well, this one might surprise you. Either way, it’s what we’re watching so bleh.” I stuck my tongue out at him and hit play. 

We were barely into the movie when the timer on my phone went off. “Oh yeah! Cookies are done!” I hopped up and ran to the stove, coming very close to falling several times doing so. 

“Wait, you made cookies too?”

I grabbed the oven mitts and pulled the tray out, taking a long whiff of the warm, cinnamon sugary goodness that is freshly baked snickerdoodles. “Well, yeah, after the club I figured we both needed something to gorge on to feel better.” Though in truth, I did it without even thinking. I was just lost in thought and I tend to make food when I’m anxious or upset.

“That’s so thoughtful. Oh, hurry up, you’re missing them explain why this guy hates Christmas so much. Apparently, his twin died in a tragic mall Santa fun run accident.”

As fast and as carefully as I could, I moved the cookies to a cooling rack and ran back to the couch a bit too quickly. As I tried to turn the corner next to the couch I had apparently hit my luck limit. You know that moment when something terrible is happening, how time just slows to a crawl, but you’re incapable of doing anything about it? That’s what was happening to me as I started falling head first into the coffee table. Out of all the ways to die, I never thought this would be what did me in. I always imagined it’d be because I tried to pet something that you shouldn’t. I closed my eyes and braced myself for impact. Except, there was no impact. I opened my eyes and saw Lance looking down at me. He...caught me? 

“You should really be more careful, you know.” His voice was smug, but he looked worried. 

His eyes cut right through me. Even with the shaggy hair in his face all I could see were his smokey blue eyes surrounded by the black liner. My heart started beating faster, the rush from the fall must have been setting in. 

“...Well, I wouldn’t have to if you would have paused it!” I regained my balance and stood upright in a huff.

I needed to calm down. I sat back down on the couch and rewound the movie to cover what I missed while Lance just giggled and took his spot next to me. 

After a few moments and my cheeks finally turning back to their natural color, I turned to him. “Thanks, by the way. For catching me.”

He smirked and put his hand on my head, ruffling my wig and beanie. “You’re welcome, you clumsy nerd.” 

“Agh, hey! Not fair, I can’t mess with you because you’re not even wearing a wig! When was the last time you got a haircut anyway?” He always liked to tease me. It was never in a mean way but still, it made me feel weird. 

“Oh, um. I’ve just been busy, haven’t really had time with work and all. You know how it is.” Hmm, well that sure got him to stop teasing me pretty quickly. He looked away though like the question bothered him or something.

We watched the rest of the movie, or at least I did. I started shivering a bit because we hadn’t turned on the heat yet, and Lance moved in closer and wrapped a blanket around us. It only took about five minutes after that for him to be asleep and lightly snoring on me. For all his jokes and teasing he could be pretty thoughtful. I nudged him awake once the credits finished rolling and he apologized for falling asleep on me and stumbled off to bed. I decided to go back to the kitchen and put everything away while eating a few cookies before heading to bed myself.

Once I was in my room I took off all the punishment clothes, tossed on a baggy t-shirt, and crawled into bed. The entire night was swirling around in my head. I hoped our friend was okay. It must’ve been hard to get thrown to the wolves like that. 

At least I wasn’t really ever alone. I always had Lance with me; he’d been my best friend since high school and we’d pretty much done everything together. It was one of those moments where you meet someone and you instantly click. Like you’ve known each other your whole life. We liked all the same TV shows, the same hobbies, and books. We were bullied for being so close and always together, until we started hanging out with Brett. Brett was the stereotypical cool jock who no one messed with. But he oddly enough decided to start hanging out with us and invited us to his friend group. After that, the bullying stopped. Well, the bullying at school at least. But I didn’t want to think about that, I just curled up in my blanket and drifted off.

“It’s your week with him! I don’t care if you have tickets, I need a break.” Mom was downstairs in another rousing debate of who’s gonna watch Joey this week. 

Being a failed attempt at saving a broken marriage wasn’t a fun job, but somebody had to do it. And that somebody was me. I generally preferred staying at my dad’s house. He was gone most of the time and it was a lot closer to Lance’s, which meant I could go and sleepover or hang out and no one would care. Mom didn’t like having people over unless it was her book club.

“Fine, then I guess I’ll have to report how little you’re paying in child support!” The back door slammed shut as she stormed outside.

 I woke up shaking. Damn it, I forgot to turn on the heater before bed. I checked my phone, ugh two in the morning. Better late than never I suppose, plus anything was better than going back to that awful dream. 

There’s often a lot of things people associate with the start of winter. For some it’s the leaves finally changing, for others it’s not until the first snowfall. But for me, there’s nothing that signals the wonderful cold season like bare feet on the cold tile in the middle of the night. It’s weird I know, but something about it brings me comfort, it wakes you up just enough to know that it’s getting chilly outside and that you’ll be back in a warm safe bed soon. After a flip of the thermostat, I was on my way back to bed when I heard something from Lance’s room. 

I tip-toed up to the door and listened in. “Aah, mhmf, fuck.” Oh, well that’s certainly one way to keep warm.

Speaking of warm, my face was burning up as I quickly realized what was going on and went back to my room. I shouldn’t have been embarrassed, it’s not like we hadn’t heard each other doing things after all. We had been roommates since we were old enough to move out. But the moans I just heard did not sound like they were coming from a guy. Did he have a secret girlfriend? No that’s stupid, he’d never be able to keep that a secret. Maybe he just forgot to use headphones and was watching porn, yeah, that must have been it. Very clear and acoustic porn from really good speakers. Or maybe I was just hearing things and was still half asleep. Either way, no sense dwelling on it. Just gonna go to sleep like nothing ever happened. 

RavenKane

Hi everyone, thank you so much for reading! This is going to be my longest story so far. I will be releasing a chapter here on scribblehub a bit inconsistently until it's completely finished and releasing each chapter on my patreon as soon as they're done. I really hope you like the story and what I have planned. Thank you!